Hi! This fun story came about when I wondered what would happen if I took the personalities and premise of the Animaniac's Pinky and the Brain shorts and put them into Deoxys and Mewtwo. As a note, the Pokemon language is marked by italics.

EPISODE 1: A Magnet for Megalomaniacs

The naval base had a steady rhythm of unnoticed activity. An outsider would see the ocean quietly lapping against giant but plain buildings. An insider would see a series of docks where the greatest marine weapons and vehicles were made, enhanced, and maintained. An outsider would see empty concrete lots marked as runways. An insider would see the cover to a hive of underground tunnels where security kept constant watch on all that went on overhead.

Except this evening. Various members of security were asleep, paralyzed, or locked in closets. The cameras and sensors were off or on their lowest settings. None of the aboveground personnel had noticed.

Two individuals had noticed. The Psychic Pokemon were hiding between two rows of large crates. One looked strange, a mixture of feline, human, and something alien to either kind. Mewtwo was carefully searching for any clue about who neutralized security. The other looked stranger, like a red and green abstract work of art come to life. Deoxys looked over the sailors and workers who were visible on the docks.

He twitched his left arm, currently in its twin-whip form. "Isn't it a good thing?" he asked. "You were wondering how we would blend in."

"It could work in our favor," Mewtwo agreed. "But someone else has plans for this base. We don't want to cross them without knowing our enemy."

"Then what should we do?"

"Let's go ahead, even if this means we'll have to move quicker. I'll go acquire the target and call you when I'm ready to leave. You go on with your distraction. However, if you run into someone definitely not from this base, take caution."

"Okay."

Mewtwo teleported away while Deoxys drifted along the row of crates.


-+-

Distraction, distraction, distraction...

Deoxys watched the dockworkers, wondering which plan he should go with. Mewtwo had let him decide what his plan was for this mission, which was exciting. He had so many ideas for what he could do to distract people. He knew lots of things that distracted himself. But what about other people?

Now that he looked at them, he wasn't sure if any of his distractions would work on this group of humans. His powers were still forming, so he couldn't read thoughts like Mewtwo could. But he could get impressions of what most others were thinking. From that, he could tell... everyone here was working, or thinking about working. They had to load the ship that had just unloaded all these wooden crates. They had to repair three other vessels that were in the giant dock buildings. They had to clear the runway once the ship was gone so some important plane could land later. And they were going to ignore any simple distraction that he made.

Deoxys sighed. He'd hoped to do something really impressive and make Mewtwo proud. It was looking to be harder than he thought. He could just make a giant mess of these crates, but would that clear the area his partner would be in? What should he do?

There was one thing that might help. Concentrating, he recalled a Magic 8-ball that was in his room back at their home base. He summoned for it and it appeared in his hands. He shook it up, then pulled it closer to his chin. "Should I go right?"

He flipped the ball over. Once the liquid settled, it read, 'I don't think so.'

Nodding, he put it back in his room. "Okay, left then."

At the end of the left passage between the crates, there was a security officer, a sailor, and an engineer. They were also thinking of work, but it seemed to be a different kind of work. Deoxys drifted closer to listen.

"Well none of the commanders are around tonight," the officer said. "We could get away with practicing out here."

The engineer shook his head. "Sorry, but my Medicham's been sick."

"That's too bad," the sailor said. "What's wrong with him?"

"The nurse says it's a viral infection, so he's going to be down for at least two more days."

The officer crossed his arms over his chest. "That virus? Yeah, it's been spreading among the Pokemon on base. A couple of mine are sick too, so I have to keep them separate from the others. They're not happy with that, being worried about the sick ones."

"I hope he's better in time for the show. He knows the routine better than we do."

They could provide a distraction. Deoxys wasn't sure how, but his sixth sense told him that it would work. That is, if his grasp of English was good enough. He came out of hiding and approached them. "Hi, I, um, think I'm lost."

"You're an odd Pokemon," the sailor said. "How'd you get on base?"

He shrugged. In the meantime, he added psychic suggestions that he was ordinary, friendly, and not dangerous, all despite his ability to speak. "I don't know. I made a mistake teleporting, I guess."

"I'll have to escort you off-base later," the security officer said. "But not right now; they're having some issues with the gate."

"Is that why I got in here?"

"Maybe."

The sailor elbowed the officer. "Hey, you think he'll be good enough to help us practice?"

"What, this stranger?"

Deoxys tilted his head. "Help with what?"

"We need a Pokemon dancer to practice with our tribute band. Normally we'd use his Medicham, but he's sick right now."

Deoxys twirled his whip arm around, pleased with this development. "I like dancing!"

"And if you can teleport, you're probably Psychic, right? So you'll be able to learn the routine by syncing with us."

"Oh, I'm still working on my powers. But I think I can do that."

The engineer smiled and pulled something out of a box. "Great, then you'll need to put this one. It should fit."

Deoxys took the large feathered headband. "Okay."


-+-

Mewtwo appeared on the top of a watch tower near the main gate of the base. After scouring the base on his own, he found more and more signs of a quiet takeover. To himself, he admitted that this was an impressive strategist in action, whoever that strategist was. Because it wasn't himself who had executed the daring plan, he wouldn't say that aloud.

From several minds, he had gleamed an order to hold stations. There was some trouble at this gate and, reportedly for security reasons, everyone was to stay put. It seemed reasonable, but Mewtwo knew that it was a perfect cover for such a takeover. So he'd come up here, where he could observe the hostiles unnoticed.

The individuals inside the gatehouse were wearing the official naval security uniforms, but they were not naval security officers. They weren't part of the navy at all. The navy didn't allow for dying one's hair silver-blue. "Team Galactic," Mewtwo whispered to himself. "So you've come out here to make a final stand, have you?"

The Galactic Grunts were embarrassingly easy to read. Their wills were weak, leaving their minds unguarded. Those minds weren't much better, though. Their devotion to their leader was absolute. Their thoughts were clouded by buzzwords, grandiose promises, and scientific fog. Not matter what logic was tried on them, they would die for their cause, even if they hardly understood it.

They were fools, Mewtwo thought, much like most other humans. Those who weren't fools were cruel and careless. He wasn't sure which type he hated more. The humans were why he had set his sights on global domination. He could do a thousand times better than any one of them and, once he managed to get in power, they would certainly agree.

Cyrus, though, he didn't know much about that leader. There was what the media reported, but that was a flawed source of information. Cyrus deserved some credit for developing such a powerful charisma when he reportedly did not believe in being emotional. He was a scientific genius as well, in the field of engineering and chemistry. Mewtwo didn't know enough about this opponent to fight him.

He shook his head. "Well if you want this base, take it," he muttered. "I'm just here for one thing."

That one thing was a nuclear submarine currently docked on Pier 5. It was the top marine vessel in the world, if the navy's boasting were any indication. It might be, it might not be, but it was good enough for Mewtwo's intentions. While he prided himself of being a scientific genius, his talents lay more in the genetic fields. He could possibly build a submarine, but it was easier just to take one. And it would be nice if the sub had a radio, because he had 'YMCA' stuck in his head and if he could hear it or some other Village People song, that would be great.

Mewtwo blinked. The Village People? Why was he thinking about them now? It was utterly non sequitur and he hated non sequitur. Not only that, but their songs were annoying. What was going on?


-+-

The Pelliper was wavering on his feet. "I, I'm all right. I can do my j-jo-achooo!" He sneezed himself off the post.

The Machoke with him edged away. "Hey, don't get your germs on me, or I'll beat you into that post."

"You sure your Pokemon is all right?" one of the humans said.

"He seemed fine earlier." The dock guard knelt down and touched the bird's beak. "Maybe I ought to turn you over to the hospital."

Pelliper huffed. "I'm fine; we can go after wor-wa-wachoo!"

"Eeww," Machoke replied. "Or maybe I won't hurt a sick bird. That'll probably make me sick."

"Shut up, bruiser." He sighed. "Man, suddenly I'm in the mood for some upbeat music."

The radio with them buzzed with a message. "Hey Jack, guess what's going on down at the docks."

"What is it this time?" a radio elsewhere on base replied. "It'd better not be some fish prank again."

"No, there's a tribute band for the Village People practicing down here, and they're really great. You should come by and see."

"Aren't we supposed to stay in position?"

"Ah, it's probably just some Bidoof that bit through the wires again. The base commander is cranky this week."

"Crankier then usual, yeah. Okay, sounds good."

"A tribute band?" one of the dock guards asked. "Well normally they suck, but for some reason, this one sounds intriguing."

"Want to go check it out?"

"Sure, why not? You two stay here; we shouldn't be gone long." The two humans left to find the band.

"Aw man," Machoke said, smacking one fist into the other. "I want to see the tribute band too."


-+-

The guards in the watch tower said, "That would be cool to go see."

"I thought you didn't like the Village People."

"Well not really... but still, sounds fun."

Mewtwo chuckled. Only Deoxys would use a tribute band as a distraction. And his psychic powers were developing nicely if he could implant a general thought over this entire community. If Mewtwo had had his way, he would have continued working alone. And this partnership benefited Deoxys more, which Mewtwo generally didn't like. However, the chance that brought the odd Pokemon to him was looking like a better and better investment.

At any rate, he'd best move in to secure the sub. Hopefully Deoxys had bought him enough time. He teleported to the pier the submarine was at. Security here was below minimal, consisting of just two Pokemon. Strange, but he would take this chance. Mewtwo teleported down and smashed them both with a blast of Psychic.

They fell immediately, which made Mewtwo suspicious. The Machoke he could understand, but the Pelliper should have not gone down like his peer. Was this a trap? He made a sweep of the area, but found no signs of an ambush. Either Galactic had cleaned up the area before, or...

The submarine was shielded against Pokemon powers. When he teleported onto it, he sensed that he could not phase through it. It would survive the attacks of any oceanic Pokemon, although persistent opponents might take the machine down. It was a fine example of what humans could do when they put their minds to something destructive. Although he didn't like physical actions, Mewtwo climbed down the ladder of the open porthole.

Once inside, he scanned again. There was no one in here, though. Then he'd gotten really lucky... which he hated. Luck would turn on one without notice. Still, while it lasted, he would take advantage of it.

The submarine was all business in a small space. From the number of stations, it looked like it was meant to have a crew of thirty-six, operating underwater for days, perhaps weeks. The outside hull and the inner nuclear engine were both heavily shielded; everything else was lightened for efficiency. The stark metal rails, the dark grated floors, and the combative screen displays all pleased him. This would be the ideal tool for his greater plans.

It gave him a taste the thrill that he only got in combat. And worthy combat at that, not like the two weaklings who had been left for 'guards' outside. He couldn't wait to bring this vessel into battle. Well, Team Galactic was conveniently outside. Mewtwo wondered if he could find out exactly where.

But first, one problem: he didn't know how to operate a nuclear sub. That was just a small matter. After some searching, he located the captain's quarters, which held a ten volume set detailed the constructions, operations, and maintenance of this beast. Mewtwo raised his hand, drawing out the first manual by telekinesis. Then he closed his eyes and placed that hand on the book. This way, he could soak in the material much faster than ordinary reading.


-+-

The security officer of the tribute band looked over the crowd. "Wow... I didn't realize we were so popular."

Deoxys twirled around happily. "We must be doing great!"

"You're certainly doing a great job," the engineer said. "You and my Trance ought to be amazing together."

This saddened his mood some. "Oh, but I can't stay. I have to return sometime."

"That's too bad. But we should give him something for his effort."

"I've got something." The construction worker opened his backpack and pulled out something. "How's this?"

Laughing, Deoxys took it. "That's perfect! Thanks."

"Hey, can you do 'YMCA'?" a voice in the crowd called. Various cheers approved this choice.

"Can you stay a bit longer?"

He nodded, then had to push the Indian headdress back.. He wasn't sure how much time he had to distract everyone, but Mewtwo would call him. "I think so. Let's do it!"


-+-

"***," Mewwo cussed, then bumped his head standing back up too quickly, causing him to cuss again. He'd come down to check on the weaponry the sub was currently holding. There were torpedoes in all slots, which initially seemed promising. But then they turned out to be more like giant fireworks than weapons. It was frustrating to find out that his newly acquired nuclear submarine was armed with nothing more than bottle rockets and Roman candles.

Well, he had the sub, and he knew exactly how everything worked. He could make his own torpedoes and rearm the lasers and cannons. It would take time, and some materials that would be tricky to acquire, but it would be worth it in the end.

Clank, clank, clank...

Mewtwo froze, then pressed himself against the wall. It came from the control room. Some human wearing heavy armor had entered. It didn't seem like a navy personnel. The mind was shielded, so he couldn't tell... no, wait. This human radiated power that indicated a highly intelligent, strong-willed, and emotionally cold individual. The Galactic grunts that he had observed did not have enough discipline to restrict their emotions that much. Most likely, this was Cyrus.

Wanting to get in closer for a better reading, Mewtwo teleported up to the control room. The Galactic leader noticed and turned immediately. His light blue eyes were almost robotic in their calculating gaze. Everything about him seemed unnatural, from his sleek blue hair to his pale hands. Over his body, Cyrus wore an armored exoskeleton. It wasn't full protection, but it enhanced his natural strengths (or gave him strength where he had none). And it was equipped with a set of rockets, allowing him to fly.

Somewhere in that robotic exterior, Mewtwo could sense emotions trapped deep inside. So he was still human after all, just denying that part of himself. That could be a weakness as well as a strength, but that would only matter if Mewtwo spent a lot of time around this human. That was something he wasn't planning on.

"Did they leave you here as a guard?" Cyrus asked, his voice as sterile as Mewtwo expected.

"No, I'm taking this submarine," he replied firmly. "If you would smartly leave, then you won't get hurt."

His lips tightened as the human was forced to reconsider him. "Then, you must be Mewtwo."

"Yes, Cyrus. Leave."

There was a flicker of anger; he didn't like being disrespected. But his control was too tight to let go. "I'm afraid not. For you see, I've taken command of this naval base. Therefore, this submarine belongs to me now. So you should leave as you are trespassing on my property."

Mewtwo crossed his arms over his chest. Even if this thing was only armed with fireworks, he wanted it. "You can make a bomb that can evaporate an entire lake without killing a single being there. What would you want a nuclear submarine for?"

He took a step back, but not out of being intimidated. He was bracing himself. "You can blow things up with just your mind, if I hear things properly. What would you want a nuclear submarine for?"

"Point taken. Still," he put psychic suggestions for obedience in his voice, "this is mine and you will leave."

For a second, Mewtwo thought he had Cyrus. But his highly logical mind shut down the outside suggestions unconsciously. "I could just take you for my own."

"You won't!" Mewtwo snapped, sending a psychic blast at him. The human was unharmed, but his robotic exoskeleton shuddered and accidentally fired a small device at the wall.

Cyrus glanced at it, then shot up the porthole with his rockets.

One should never question an action like that, Mewtwo thought as he teleported to directly under the porthole, then teleported up into the air. It was proved when a blast rattled the entire sub. The air above the porthole quivered as the blast wave shot through it as the only escape from the armored vehicle. Something about the bomb messed up the controls as well, as the submarine fired off all of its torpedoes at once. Cryus moved backwards in the air, but Mewtwo didn't as a dazzling shower of lights and explosions filled the night sky.

"Now you've wrecked my submarine," Cryus said coolly, as if talking about a worthless toy instead of a multimillion dollar weapon of destruction.

"I did?" Mewtwo shouted back in indignation. Using his anger, he picked up the submarine with telekinesis. Once he had a good grip on it, he flipped himself around, launching it over his head and at Cyrus. The human was knocked down, but the submarine bounced off the ground and crashed into a cluster of buildings seventy-five yards away.

The exoskeleton was badly wrecked, but it had done its job in protecting Cyrus. He got up, apparently calm. "You're just a Pokemon, after all. You can't understand the universe as we humans can."

Mewtwo growled and began charging his power with Calm Mind. A calmness fueled by anger could be very strong.

"Cyrus."

He looked over into the shadows. Somebody was standing there, obscured save for a proud silhouette. "Who...?" he started.

"I thought you should know," the stranger said, "that Mewtwo has no qualms about killing anyone."

Mewtwo fired off Thunder, but Cyrus wisely used the last of his rockets' power to get out of the way. Annoyed, he shouted at the shadows. "Why are you here, Giovanni?"

"I had an idea that someone would be here," Giovanni replied. "Never mistake Mewtwo for an ordinary Pokemon, Cyrus. And you owe me money."

"You came onto a naval base on a hunch just to collect a debt?" Cyrus asked.

"He's a bastard like that," Mewtwo said.

Then Giovanni vanished, appearing next to the Galactic leader. Once he was in the warehouse's security light, a silver-colored handgun came into view. His spotless black suit contrasted sharply to Cyrus' battered robotic exoskeleton. It was like him to show up so impeccably dressed at any occasion, with neat black hair that disguised his true age, all over a poise of total confidence that intimidated almost everyone. And for some reason, all of Mewtwo's mind reading powers stopped dead when directed at Giovanni.

The former Rocket leader handled his handgun like anything else, as pure business. "We will discuss this matter. However, I'm afraid that with a nuclear sub having been thrown into the dock offices, your hold on this place won't last much longer. You may wish to call your subordinates back."

To Mewtwo's annoyance, Giovanni got a reaction out of Cyrus with this firm order. He pulled out his radio. "Commanders, report."

It took a moment, but a man responded. "Uh, sir, can this wait?"

"What are you doing?" Cryus said icily.

"Well there's this really great Village People tribute band... they've even got a Pokemon that can speak English in the group and it's really amazing to see it dance. And they have fireworks!"

"Are you talking about a Jynx?"

"No sir. I, uh, I'm not sure what it is. It's not like anything I've seen."

That caused both of the humans to pause and consider. "Drat," Mewtwo muttered, then teleported to a deserted part of the docks to call Deoxys.

It took a minute, but Deoxys appeared. "Hi Mewtwo. Um, where's the sub?"

"I had some unexpected trouble," he admitted. "We'll have to abandon the mission. But good work on your end. I heard about it."

He was pleased with the compliment. "Yeah, it was really awesome! I would've sung in the group too, but I didn't know the songs that well. And they gave me a great present for doing a great job."

"A great...?" he checked Deoxys' thoughts. "Wait, they actually gave you...?"

"Pixy Stix!" he cheered, pulling out a two dollar bag of the colorful paper straws.

"Right, just what you need: flavored sugar."

"I'll share," he said, offering the opened bag. "Oh, but not the purple Razz berry ones. Those are my favorite."

Mewtwo took a yellow one. "Are these Pinap or Nomel?"

"Uh," he checked the bag. "I think they're either."

"It doesn't really matter. Let's go home. We have to plan for tomorrow night."

"Why Mewtwo? What're we doing tomorrow night?"

"The same thing we do every night, Deoxys: try to take over the world!"

"Okay." Deoxys took hold of Mewtwo's arm so the older one could teleport them both.


-+-

"You gave up your posts to see a Village People tribute band?" Cyrus asked. He was clearly in disapproval, although no signs of anger were present.

The man tried not to fidget under his leader's gaze. "But they were really good."

Giovanni ignored this. He'd been through times like it himself. Instead, he watched the space where Mewtwo had been. "You've been improving yourself," he mused quietly. "And yet, that was a strange behavior from you, to just leave two enemies like that. Something's changed."

How could he use that change to his advantage?


A/N: Mm, Pixy Stix...