DiScLaImEr-DoN't SuE Us! We HaVe No MoNeY! AnD We'Re CrAzY!
Author's note: This is me and my friend bein' the same, weird people we usually are. Our condolences to those of you who think this is insulting to wholesome children's programming. SORRY! DON'T KILL US AND EAT OUR CHILDREN WHICH WE DON'T HAVE BUT IF WE DID WE STILL WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO EAT THEM!
One day, the students in Miss Frizzle's class were going on a field trip. BIG SURPRISE THERE, KIDDIES! They had been learning about folklore in class, and Miss Frizzle and Liz had decided that they needed to experience some in the REAL world. So they went to a haunted house. Again.
Ralphie, Kiesha, Carlos, Arnold, D.A, Wanda, Phoebe, and Random-black-guy-who-will-undoubtedly-grow-up-to-be-super-sexy stepped into the house behind Miss Frizzle. Carlos snorted.
"These places
aren't really haunted, guys. Jeez..."
Just as that
moment, invisible hands dragged him from the room and slammed the
door behind them.
"A-whaaaaa???"
The
children chorused in confusion. And fear. And MORE fear.
"That's hot."
Arnold muttered to himself. Suddenly, the sound of voices in the next room could be heard.
"Sam! That was my
foot,
dude!"
Random-black-guy-who-will-undoubtedly-grow-up-to-be-super-sexy
was about to comment when a giant pole came out of nowhere and
pierced his heart!
"Arggglehhpffft..."
He
said, and died.
"DUDE! THAT'S MY
OTHER FOOT!"
One of the strange voices yelled. Then the other
strange, yet sexy, voice, piped up.
"Dude, did you
just hear someone say 'Arggglehhpffft'?"
The even more sexier
voice was heard again.
"Yeh. It kinda sounded like someone gettin' pierced through the heart by a giant pole that came out of nowhere."
Miss Frizzle turned to the class.
"Well...this
isn't going as planned..."
She said as Ralphie was strung up
by his ankles behind her. D.A cleared her throat in a most obnoxious
manner.
"Um, excuse me,
Miss Frizzle, but according to my research, EVERYONE IS
DYIIIIIIIIIING!"
She screamed, throwing up her arms and
running around in circles. Two very handsome figures appeared in the
doorway.
"Uh, dude, did
that seven year old just say 'according to my research'? She can't be
normal. SHOOT HER!"
The shaggy-haired one said. The
spikey-haired one grinned cutely.
"Gladly. I love shooting things."
And so he shot the pig-tailed and annoying blonde. She died with a scream and melted to the floor in a skeletal puddle of booze. Miss Frizzle was shocked.
"You shot one of
my students! Admittedly, it wasn't one that I liked, but
regardless!"
The spiky-haired guy waggled his eyebrows
suggestively at her.
"Yeah. And you're sexy. The name's Dean, by the way."
Phoebe watched in horror as her beloved teacher started making out with the spiky-haired guy.
"This never
happened at my old school...well, actually, it did...once...but that
was kinda why I left..."
And then Paris Hilton fell from the
sky and squashed her dead. Luckily, Paris died on impact.
"That's
hot!"
Arnold squealed, commencing to dance on the dead body.
The shaggy-haired guy stared at him.
"I'm Sam, and
you're weird."
Just at that moment, Kiesha was grabbed from
behind by an angry spirit! Arg! Sam grabbed a gun from his pants and
shot the spirit, which screamed and died in a humorous way. With
lotsa flowers and rainbows and such. You know, child friendly things.
And puppies. Unfortunately, Kiesha exploded and the puppies feasted
upon her bloody remains. Sam and the remaining children turned in
unison to puke, but unfortunately caught sight of Dean and Miss
Frizzle, who looked like they were trying to eat each other's faces,
and they had to turn again to puke on the flesh-eating canines of
spiritual death. Just then, Carlos burst into the room, his eyes
bright yellow. Sam screamed.
"DEMON!"
Carlos
threw his head back.
"HAHAHA! Now you will never escape, Sammy! You are-"
Fortunately, he was interrupted by Arnold's mad ninja skills.
"HIYA!"
Carlos
spun smoothly and kicked Arnold in the nadgers.
"Arg."
Arnold said dully.
"I should've stayed home today..."
and imploded. Meanwhile, Dean and Miss Frizzle were still going at it like a house on fire. Sam could sense that there was a fight going to happen, and knowing that his brother was a little distracted, he locked them in the closet, which just so happened to hold the mangled corpse of Wanda,who had disappeared during all the hullabaloo. Honestly, though, Sam didn't think that Dean would notice. Sam turned back to Carlos.
"Gawd, I have to
do everything myself."
He whined, picking up a fire poker.
"POKEY!"
He
stepped forward bravely and poked the demon in the eye.
"Arg! My eye!"
The demon shrieked, and died. Sam sighed.
"Well...that was
pathetically easy..."
He turned at the sound of a door
opening. Dean stepped somberly out of the closet.
"What happened,
dude?"
Sam asked, noting the depressed look on his brother's
face.
"I dunno, man, I
think she suffocated or somethin'."
Sam raised his eyebrow.
"You know you just
came out of the closet, right, Butch?"
Dean glared at him.
"Shut up.
Sasquatch."
They left the house and walked to the car, not
thinking the least of the class of dead children they'd left behind.
But alas, they got outside just in time to see a small iguana driving
the Impala away into the sunset.
"I'LL KILL
YOU!"
Luckily, the iguana was used to driving an automatic
and the stickshift left her utterly confuzzled. Lest we say, Sam and
Dean enjoyed an unusual meal that night. Sam turned to Dean, who was
watching the road.
"I dunno...I never
had an iguana before...maybe we shouldn't have eaten it...but it did
taste like chicken...yum...hey, are you listening to me?"
Dean
stared intently at the rearview mirror.
"Uh, dude...a bus with eyes is following us..."
