- Eden (noun) Eden [ eed'n ] ( Edens)
1. Adam and Eve's garden
in the Bible, the garden where Adam and Eve first lived
2. perfect place
any place seen as being perfect, highly pleasing or happy.

Eden. A perfect place. The first explorers saw America as an Eden. The first time she saw the city she saw it as an Eden. A perfect place. A place of happiness. Her own house was not an Eden. So when she left there for the last time, she renamed herself Eden, because she was going to the perfect place. A perfect place that was anywhere but behind her.

But she never found the perfect place. The city was a false Eden. It didn't hold happiness, not for her at least. So she kept moving. Never staying for more than a couple of days, abusing people just because she could. She was bitter at the world of lies she lived in. False assumptions. Deceit. Dishonesty. Lies, lies, lies! She'd lived in hope all these years. Hope for a better life. For the Eden beyond the horizon. But she had been living in false hope all her life. There was no Eden, there was no happiness, only selfish humans every way she turned. And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't escape them. So she became one instead. Taking what she wanted, never stopping to think what she might be doing to others.

She never looked back, because she didn't want to look back on what she'd become. And when she did, she saw she'd come so far from being an Eden herself that she didn't even know what she was anymore. But she wasn't happiness and she was certainly wasn't any form of perfection. She was the cold, harsh, lying thing she had strove so hard to escape. She was it personified. She was disgusting.

And so began her journey. Not to find an Eden but to strive to become one herself. She didn't want to be what she was now. She had never wanted it. So now she was going to strive. To become her own personal Eden, for herself, not for anyone around her.

Somehow, someway, she was going to become worthy of her name and then, only then, would she truly be Eden McCain.


Gawd, that was awful! Sorry you had to read it, if anyone did. Trying to release my frustration, thats the only reason I'm posting this and not scrapping it.