As of right now, this is a one-shot. Although I can see a story playing out in my mind. So I could very easily be convinced to write more to this.
Before My Eyes
Summary: What if Jacob attacked Edward? What would the aftermath be? Would the pack want retribution? Would the Cullen's have to leave Forks? What about Bella, where would she stand in all this?
Why was it that god see it fit that I live in a constant state of hell? Why was it that he would give me things. Things that made me deliriously happy, and then take them all away? These were the questions that I am now currently stuck with. Sitting here with Edward's family, as we wait to hear from Carlisle. It had only been two days. Two long horrible days since it happened. The remnants of what had happened played over and over in my mind like a song on repeat.
In most ways I wish it had been me. I wish that I would have just chosen one or the other. Instead, I tried to force them together, and this was the outcome.
"It's not your fault Bella," Alice's wind-chime voice broke through my thoughts, as she wiped a tear from my cheek.
"But it is. If I had just chosen--"
"You don't know that, that would have stopped them. You don't know that Bella," Alice pleaded with me.
I just nodded my head, as I continued my inter battle with myself. I knew it was my fault, and I knew that I was too blame. Having his family look at me with these caring eyes. The pity and concern that radiated from them. Well all of them but Rosalie. She hasn't stopped scowling at me since I got up this morning. I was okay with it though, because I knew I deserved it.
This is what happens when you let mythical creatures into your life. Your bound to have a good run of bad luck. Although my luck is bad enough without adding insult to injury.
"Bella, he'd like to speak to you," Carlisle called, his inhumanly beautiful face peered around the door frame.
I sighed, my hands folded in my lap, as I stood up. I walked slowly toward the room, and took a deep breath. I didn't realize I had held it in until after I walked over the threshold and into Carlisle's office.
"I'm so sorry," I stifled the tears, as I saw his beautiful face, his golden-honey eyes piercing into mine.
"What do you have to be sorry about, love?" he asked me.
"If I had just chosen--" I started, but he held up a hand to stop me.
"I was wrong. I never should have made you choose. It was wrong of me, and I see that now. If it hadn't been for Jacob--" he sighed, his head shaking back and forth. "I broke you when I left, and he was the one to fix what I broke."
"And now because of me--"
"No Bella, this is on me. I should have known better than to come near him," his voice was full of hatred and distaste. Not towards me, or Jacob, but towards himself. "I would completely understand, if you never want to see me again."
"Edward--" I started.
"No Bella. What you witnessed. It never should have happened. I am truly sorry. I am such a monster, and I don't deserve you. I ask you now for your forgiveness Bella. If you can't grant me that I'll completely understand."
His voice came across broken. Like he had thought long and hard on this, and had already sentenced himself to death. That's when the realization hit me. Had he sentenced himself to death? Was he planning another visit to Volterra?
"Edward your not--" I let my sentence trail off. I couldn't even bring myself to ask it.
"I deserve not life, but death," was all he said. His eyes were fixated on the desk in front of him.
"Edward, look at me--Please," I knew that he held a soft spot for my begging.
I was right. He looked straight at me. Although that wasn't the best idea, as my train of thought went straight out the window. I took a deep breath, trying to regain my composure.
"Don't do this Edward. It was a mistake. People make mistakes. It was an accident. You were protecting yourself--"
"Can you honestly look at me, after what you saw, and not see the monster that I am? I'm dangerous Bella. Look at what I'm capable of. Look at what I've done. I do not deserve to live. I've already told Carlisle my decision. If I don't leave Bella, they'll come after my family. I can't allow that," he sighed, finally the truth.
"Fine, if you have to leave, I'll go with you. You promised me that you would not leave me again. Do you remember that? You can't break that promise," I wouldn't let him leave without feeling absolutely awful about it.
"Bella it's not safe--"
"Don't feed me that crap Edward! If I didn't want you, then I'd tell you so. I want you, always--forever. You are the only one that makes me feel whole. Without you I feel like I'm missing a piece of myself. Don't leave me broken again Edward," that had done it, the tears rolled freely now.
Edward stood in one quick motion and was over to me in a matter of seconds.
"Please don't cry my love. I won't leave you. Not if it's not what you want. I promise, I swear," his musical voice whispered softly in my ear, as he held me close.
"He'll be okay, he'll be fine. Carlisle said so. Said he was healing as we speak. You don't know that they'll come after you," I whispered back to him.
"I do my love. He hates me for what I am. As do I. I can't let them hurt my family," his voice was broken again.
"Then I'll come with you Edward. You have to let me come with you," I breathed the last part, as his lips brushed against mine.
"Always Bella. Always my love."
