My head hurts. Everything hurts so bad. Thats when I feel it, my will to live slowly slipping away from me. Like my word was crashing down around me with tremendous force, leaving me alone and scared in the centre. Everything dies.
I decide in my last few moments that I dont really care, I have nothing left to live for anymore. I had no loved ones to lose. My father, an agressive man who was not missed in my mind. He deserved to die, I should know, I was the one to kill him. After 17 years of putting up with it every night. The abuse both physical and mental. The beatings and the rapes. I was more than glad he was dead but it was not enough of a reason for me to want to live.
Potter had killed Voldemort but that didn't kill the memories, the scars. There was nothing that could ever erase those things from someone, I was 15 for christs sake. Although, I was 10 when I first felt the full force of the Crutiatus cruse, so that I was used to, hell I could even cope with being used as a sex toy. It was looking down at my own body that killed a little bit of me everytime.
My mother had died when I was young so there was nothing to keep my Father from doing as he wished, but even when she was alive she did nothing. Too afraid for herself. So I did not love her, nor did I shed a tear when I watched Father kill her. It only built the rage inside of me.
I had no friends, I had a few aquaintances that made bile rise up in my throat just looking at them. They were weak. They were pathetic and they were dead.
My god father had been the only person I had cared about, but he was dead too. So there was nothing left for me to live for. Life had gone on but is like I am frozen in time, nothing makes sense and everything moves too fast. People forgot, like nothing had ever happened they moved on. Blocking out the memories but I cant and no one see's that. They dont see because I dont let them.
Glamours and good acting is all I need. No one can see my scars, no one can see my fragile mind breaking, crumbling into a mass of fear and pain. No one could see because then they would pretend to care. I dont wont their pity, I dont need their help. No I am just fine as I am, and what I am is dying.
I am still walking and I am talking but slowly every movement scrapes way another part of my soul, taking with it my will to continue fighting this losing battle.
My head hurts. Everything hurts so bad. I feel like I cannot breath and the world is crashing around me and I am all that is left. The only one who can see. The world is not the same place and Yes it did happen! People died and we are moving on like they didn't like they were never here and were not worth mourning. How I longed for someone to mourn. Someone who I could have called a friend, or family that I could care about when they died.
Instead I am left alone. And no one knows, no one cares, and no one ever will.
I try and clear my head as I pull the noose around my thin neck and I realise I haven't eaten in days. It doesn't matter now, as I look down the stair case I see nothing but hope. Hope that it will all be over... All I have to do it jump. With my last thought as my Father's face when I killed him I leap off the banister that has been the only thing seperating me from bliss, from death.
But now there was something else in the equation, something I had not considered. Long muscular arms wrap around me and pull me onto the floor before I can even feel the rope tighten around my neck. I scream in fustration as I am pulled into someones lap. And someone is whispering to me. I do not hear them, I know they are just pretending to care.
I look up and see none other than Harry Bloody Potter looking down at me with tears in his emerald eyes, the tears looked pretty real to me, scarily real.
Maybe he's not pretending after all...
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The end
Please review. Bear in mind I am tired and feeling depressed so please be nice. I think this is a oneshot but anyone who would like me to continue please let me know.
I am thinking about making it the new beginning to 'Help Me', or something like this, since so may people didn't like the beginning very much, please read and tell me what you think about making this the new chapter one and keeping the same plot just changing a few bits to make this fit.
Again please review and make me a very happy person.
Amy
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PS- my Word has stopped working so am writing this on notepad so if there are any mistakes please let me know
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