Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, they belong to JRR Tolkien. Thanks, JRRT.

A/N: I realize some will think I've taken the following quote from LOTR a bit out of context. Probably...but maybe not. Who knows? A while ago when I wrote my first few fanfics, I wrote Merry with an estranged relationship with his father, so I wrote this story with the "beginning" in mind. On the good side, Merry and Saradoc do eventually find middle ground in later years, and I have yet to write something about that from a fly-on-the-wall point of view.

Warning: This story was a tad difficult for me to write because I peppered it with a bit of realism, and so it may be difficult for some to read because it is a sad story. I am neither a psychologist nor a professional writer. I write because I'm addicted to it, and I like to write about my two favorite characters: Pippin and Merry. Unfortunately...this is pre-Pippin. Sorry Pip. If you have constructive criticism, or words of encouragement, please review.

Absence of Reasoning

"But Merry stood at the foot of the green mound, and he wept, and when the song was ended he arose and cried, "Theoden King, Theoden King! Farewell! As a father you were to me, for a little while. Farewell!" - LOTR/ROTK, JRR Tolkien. (Italics mine)

Chapter One - Secret Hurts

The teenager tiptoed inside the dark void of his secret place. This particular room was his favorite place to hide when he wanted to be alone to think things over in his head, or to just be "near" his parents. This room used to belong to his mother and father until their untimely death in a boating accident upon the Brandywine River when he was just twelve years old. His heart still ached for them.

It was quiet and unsettling as he crept around, except for the faint sound of a small child sniffling. "Merry?" He whispered. The sniffling stopped.

"Merry, you must come out!" He softly spoke. The sniffling started up again. "Everybody's worried about you, Merry. Your folks have all your aunts and uncles out looking for you."

The boy was clearly upset. "Not my Dad."

The teen had no reply for those words. "It's past midnight and your Mummy is very worried and scared, Merry." He turned in the direction of the child's voice.

"She is?"

"Of course she is. Very much so! And she wants you to come back home." He was now only a few feet away from his little cousin.

"But I've run away, Frodo!" The child started to sob again, "Dad and Mummy were shouting at each other...about me."

Frodo felt a feverish warmth emanating from the dark form in front of him. He took up the five-year-old into his arms and carried him out into the lit hallway, the small boy crying into his shoulder the whole time. "Shhh. That is for your Dad and Mummy to worry about."

The boy hid his face from the bright light and continued to sob. Frodo was gentle and soothing to his young cousin, but inwardly, his blood was boiling at his elder cousin's disgraceful behavior towards his only child. Frodo's own parents had drowned in an unfortunate accident, and that tore at his heart, so to witness a living parent denying his own child the love and attention necessary to thrive and feel secure was repulsive to him.

Frodo held Merry close as he carried him down the hallway and whispered in his ear, "Do you wish to sleep in my bed tonight?" He could feel the little head nodding. He could feel the dampness from Merry's hot tears.

Frodo continued, "But first, let's go and say goodnight to your Mummy, all right?"

Merry, weary from crying, asked, "Will Dad be there? Him and Mummy will start yelling again."

"I don't know, Merry, but I'll make sure no shouting goes on when you're there."

Minutes later the twosome stepped into the kitchen, Frodo still carrying Merry, and Merry sound asleep with his head resting on Frodo's shoulder. The cares of his crumbling little world had taken its toll on him. "Merry!" Esmeralda wept anew when she saw her little boy was safe and in the arms of his favorite cousin. She was waiting all alone.

"Where did you find him?" She dabbed her eyes with her handkerchief.

The teen was still a bit reluctant to give away his secret place. "Oh, in one of the vacant apartments in the upper level." He handed his cousin over to his frantic mother. She was careful not to wake her sleeping child. Frodo watched as Esmeralda closed her teary eyes, lovingly combing his damp curls away from his face with her fingers.

Frodo hesitated to break the moment, but he wanted to keep his word with Merry. "I...I sort of told him he could sleep in my bed tonight--I hope you don't mind."

At first, Esmeralda was going to object, but then decided it would be more important for her son to feel safe after all he had been through this evening. "Have you asked Uncle Saradas?"

His eyes dropped to his feet, "No."

She knew the love her young cousin had for her son and relented, "Very well, Frodo, just this once without permission because I am pressed for decisions right now. If old Uncle Saradas fusses in the morning, then just bring little Merry directly to me, all right?" She balanced her son onto her hip, lightly hugging the older lad with her other. "Thank you, Frodo."

Esmeralda kissed her little boy, "Merry!" She whispered, "Wake up, Merry!"

The mop of curls slowly stirred. "Hmm."

"Cousin Frodo is going to let you sleep in his bed tonight--how does that sound?"

"Hmm."

Esmeralda tenderly kissed his small cheek again. "I love you."

Eyes still closed, Merry mumbled, "...mmm...too." She gave him a gentle squeeze.

"Mummy will be waiting for you in the morning." She said as she handed the sleeping boy back over to his cousin. Then she told Frodo, "I'll tell the others he's been found."