Hello.
This is bad. And short.
But mostly bad...
It's 5:23 in the morning, the world is quiet, the fridge is wide open and Kendall Knight can't help but wonder how the hell he ended up here. He's been in this small apartment more than twelve hours straight. He can see the empty bottles on the coffee table and the TV is still playing a rerun of Days Of Our Lives. In the small bed in the corner of the room, a boy is laying, asleep. He's got one arm covering and the other stretched out, reaching toward the spot where Kendall was still laying a few minutes ago. He's naked, and so is Kendall. And for a minute he thinks back and he can still see them; bodies sliding together, sweat dripping down their forehead and hair matted and wet.
Kendall can't remember the last time he ever saw someone so beautiful. But he reminds himself that he isn't suppose to be here. He should be in New York, studying for his mid-terms at NYU. Instead, he's in Shakopee, Minnesota. A few miles from his parents' house, but they don't even know he's here. Fair enough, because he isn't home for them. He's not home for them at all.
He's here, naked in an apartment on the outskirts of town with someone he isn't suppose to love, ever.
Kendall is here because of Logan Mitchell, a boy who could be his little brother. Logan is sixteen years old, making him six years younger than Kendall. He can't remember how he ended up in love with him. All he does know is that it happened. They met when Kendall had to do a pep rally thing for the freshmen hockey team at his old school. He remembers how Logan was sitting there, jersey too big for his small body and obviously terrified for his life. He smiled at him, after his speech and he can still see Logan smile back. Shy but genuinely happy the ex-hockey captain smiled at him.
A few weeks after that, Kendall was taking a year of from college to help his parents take care of his little sister. Somehow Logan ended up on his doorstep, a blue bruise underneath his eye and tears on his cheek. Logan had begged Kendall to let him hide in his house, and Kendall didn't question why, he just held open the door and told him his room was the third door on the left. But he found out the meaning of the boy's visit a few minutes after, when a group of seniors came running down the street, shouting a bunch of words he doesn't even want to remember.
When he locked his door and told his mom everything was fine, he made his way to his room. Logan was standing there awkwardly, holding on to the strap of his backpack and looking more than absolutely petrified.
"Are you alright?"
A nod had eagerly came from the boy, but when Kendall lifted one of his eyebrows, Logan broke out into tears, right there on Kendall's carpet. It took him exactly two hours before he had actually dared to admit all the things those senior had said and done to him. Right after that, he called Logan's mother, telling her that her son was safe at a friend's house, but she didn't seem to care. Still, to thank Kendall for his hospitality, Logan helped him cook dinner, saying he always had to cook at home.
When Kendall dropped him off home, he told him to come by anytime. And fair enough, three days later, Logan was at his door. This time with a smile and no tears. And they watched a bunch of foreign movies and ate way too much popcorn. And Kendall thinks maybe that's when he started falling for this boy, who's still sound asleep in his bed, gorgeous as ever. Because when they were watching those movies, Logan fell asleep, right there on Kendall's lap. And he carded his hand through his soft locks and pulled him closer.
In his eyes, he wasn't a fifteen year old boy, but a twenty-one year old man. And he was fun and beautiful and mature. And he was someone Kendall could picture himself with.
And that's exactly what he did. So he closes the fridge and turns off the TV and he lays down beside Logan. And he can't help but let out a happy sigh when Logan wraps an arm around his waist and buries his face in Kendall's side.
When Kendall wakes up, light is creeping through his curtains. He moves to his side and notices that Logan is already up. The bottles are no longer on the coffee table but on his countertop and the TV is on again. This time it's an early selling programme. Kendall watches as Logan emerges from the bathroom, oblivious to Kendall being awake. He's got Kendall's old Rolling Stones shirt on and it covers his thighs as he sits down in the leather couch. Kendall chuckles to himself as he gets out of bed and puts on some boxers. He can see what's in Logan's cup, green tea because he refuses to drink coffee before he's eighteen. Logan doesn't notice Kendall being up and moving untill he's right behind him. Arms going around the boy's neck and kissing the top of his head.
"Good morning, beautiful."
Logan chuckles and lifts his hands to hold on to Kendall's wrist. He leans his head back to rest on Kendall's shoulder and his voice cracks as he speaks up. The boy is still in the middle of puberty, after all.
"You scared me, Kendall."
Kendall laughs too and buries his face in Logan's soft hair. He smells like lavender and roses and something amazing. Something entirely Logan. Something he can't put his mind on, but it's amazing. It always is.
"So, how did you sleep?"
He kisses the top of Logan's head one more time and then climbs over the back of the couch, so he can sit down next to his lover. Logan leans into Kendall's bare chest and he starts telling him about his weird dream, and Kendall can't help it, but he's not really listening. He's way too caught up in Logan's beauty. The way his mouth moves and the freckles that dance over his skin.
See, Kendall never really planned falling for Logan. But a year ago, Logan was at his house every Friday. And Kendall would help him understand a hard subject or teach him some new hockey moves and so, he guesses, through a long collection of cosy afternoons, it just happened. He can remember the way Logan's eyes sparkled when he told him he wanted Logan for more than just friendly reasons, because right now, Logan is talking about something involving cookies and unicorns and his eyes sparkle the exact same way.
Kendall doesn't think he will ever be able to forget that. All those times they spend together when they really shouldn't have been with each other. Like the first time they had sex. Or made love, as Logan forced Kendall to call it. Kendall was scared, terrified out of his mind because he was sure he was going to hurt Logan. In that moment, Kendall had to remember Logan's real age. And that he was actually just a boy with a whole life outside of his house that didn't really involve Kendall, at all. But Logan kept telling him that he was ready and that he needed Kendall to love him.
So in the end, he did end up with Logan in bed, soft touches and sweet words. And he did it, because he does love Logan. More than he can comprehend. And it's ridiculous, because the world would freak out if they knew. But Kendall would drop anything in a second for him. Just because he's beautiful and smart and just because he's Logan. But right now, Logan's done telling him about his dream and he's looking up at Kendall like he is his world. And strange enough, maybe he is. Maybe Logan's feeling the exact same things Kendall is.
"How did you sleep? Any weird dreams?"
Kendall smiles at the way Logan's voice goes from deep to really high-pitched and plants a kiss to his mouth. He's in love with this boy right here, and there's no single way around it.
"Only dreams involving you, baby."
And Logan blushes because of the word Kendall called him. He's still not used to it, someone caring so deeply for him. Because during those long afternoons filled with bad movies and algebra problems, Logan also told Kendall what his life was all about. That his parents didn't really care about him and that the kids in his year disliked him because he got more A's than F's. And he also told Kendall about his goals and wishes. He can go back anytime and remember how Logan was seated on his bed and told him that he didn't care where he ended up. That he just wanted to grow up and be happy like all those people in the movies they watched. And that he wanted to be a doctor, and that he wanted a dog when he was older because his parents would never give him one. And Kendall often thinks that he can't just give Logan all those things. But Logan kind of saved him, so Kendall calls him things like 'baby' and 'beautiful' and it's not much, but it makes Logan happy.
So right now, he stops thinking about all the things the world might say if they find out. Because even if they do, Kendall still got to love Logan. Still got to hold him and give him all those things the world never could. And Logan would still look at him like he is doing right now. In love and happy. And Kendall's the one who gave him hope and Logan's the reason that Kendall knows what it's like to be loved back. So yeah, let them find out. Let them burst through the door of his small, crappy apartment and judge him for something they don't really know anything about. Let them think they can tear them apart. Because Logan's right here, in Kendall's embrace.
And he's not going anywhere.
Told you it was bad..
Bye crazies ;)
