Strange Attraction
By Lady_Allure (Allure_chan)
I don't own Sailor Moon or GRAVITATION, nor do I own the song Strange Attraction, it belongs to The Cure! Just the fic, enjoy!
Note: I must have been out of my mind when I wrote this. I've been feeling very down for the past few weeks, for personal reasons. This was an idea that came to me from the song, so I thought I'd write it down. Anyway, much thanks goes out to my Pre-readers, Imuoto-chan's: Dreama Tsuki, Purr-chan, and D-chan (who helped me edit the fic). And thanks to Aidenn Legacy, Sydney Parker, Serenity Silvermoon, and Lila Khalida! What would I do with out you guys! Gomen ne for not updating, I know I've kept all of you waiting, and I have to say thank you for liking my fics. I'll try my best to update often!
"I said get out!" he yelled, unable to deal with his present lover. Not with the way he was feeling anyway, nor was he in the mood for his whining and love sick behavior. "Don't make me repeat myself." he warned, knowing how stubborn Shuichi could be, and had to be firm sometimes, by having to turn his back on the young man.
"Yuki………" Shinduo Shuichi blinked back tears, his lips trembling. He waited a brief moment, hoping Yuki Eiri would change his mind, but nothing happened. The blond-haired novelist said nothing, still not facing him, the silence becoming unbearably uncomfortable. He didn't know what brought on Yuki's current mood, and Yuki wouldn't tell him anyway, even if he asked. He'd tell him it was none of his business. Maybe it had something to do with that phone call he received an hour ago, but he had been acting even meaner, and ignoring him since last week.
What could the pink haired singer do, but leave. Perhaps if he came back later, Yuki would be in a better mood. With that in mind, Shuichi turned, grasped the door handle, glanced over his shoulder before he closed the door behind him, keeping his tears at bay for once.
~it started with a
dedication
"lost in admiration - happy birthday - i'm forever yours - blossom"
fared red inside a tiny book of butterflies
i smiled surprised at how when flickered through
the wings flew by spelled out my name~
He heard the door close, sighing at how bad that had went; There were times when he needed privacy, especially when it came to his writing. How was he supposed to finish his new novel with that baka distracting him? It wasn't Shuichi's fault, none of it was; He just couldn't control his temper at a time like this. He frowned and walked the small distance from the living room to his bed room, sitting down in front of his laptop. How could such a memory spark so much inspiration? He thought as he lit a cigarette, inhaling deeply, thinking. He had a passion for writing, even if he questioned the kind of stories he wrote. Should he continue to write about her? After all this time, he should have forgotten about her.
He blew out a stream of smoke, narrowing his eyes on the screen. So far he had typed over twenty pages in less than two days, and every word brought back each memory. Why did that idol have to call and tell him about her? He didn't need to know. Did he?
~six months went by the summer lost
obsessively the letters dropped into my life
the same soft blood smooth flowing hand
"please try to understand - i have to see you - have to feel you -
tell you all the ways i need you - yours forever in love"~
Come to think of it, she was the last person on his mind - the last person he wanted to think about really. Much less get lost in the memories, but if it gave inspiration, what the heck, write what you know and feel. He pretty much felt empty when he thought about her. Like it was a waste of time, trying to think of those memories as good, something he should cherish. Then again, she had meant something to him, then… He leaned back into his chair, forgetting about his cigarette, spacing out on the ceiling.
"I must be stupid," he said to himself, closing his eyes.
~strange attraction spreads its wings
it varies but the smallest things
you never know how anything will change~
Yuki Eiri had nothing do to with her - it was Uesugi Eiri that had been involved with her. He had met her though school. She had been in the same English class as him during his senior year of college. She had been just another woman to him a first, among many. But he asked her on a date anyway, and set the whole affair into motion.
It could have been serious, but he wouldn't allow it. When it came to a steady partner, he didn't know what he wanted then. He didn't know why he messed around with her to begin with. She had been young and innocent then, untouched by the world of passion and lust. That was not the reason he dated her.
"Eiri-kun." he remembered how much he liked to hear her say his name. She said it with such a gentle voice.
He liked her because she made him forget what happened in New York, made him forget Yuki. Not even Seguchi Tohma could do that. How could a guy like him really make a commitment, even if there was a chance?
~strange attraction spreads its wings
and alters but the smallest things
you never know how anything will fade~
She had no idea he was bisexual, nor did she know she was only one of many. He should have felt bad for leading her on the way he did. Yes, he was considering her feelings and tried so many times to break their fling off, yet he couldn't. There was something about her he couldn't get enough of. It wasn't the sex, although that was great, but it was the way she talked, she could talk for hours, even if it was about nothing. In a way, Shuichi reminded him of her. They were both so melodramatic when it came to romance.
He didn't get bored of her, so why did he dismiss her so quickly. Was it because they were getting too close? Or perhaps… perhaps he actually wanted something better for her.
~the year grew old incessantly she wrote to
me
she'd started smoking poetry!
i laughed in recognition of a favorite phrase
she'd pulled me in...
i answered her
a christmas card in sepia
arranging when and where
and how the two of us should meet...
her opening so well prepared
a nervous smile
i couldn't take my eyes from her
she whispered
"can i use some of your lipstick?"
it was perfect so believable
i couldn't help but feel that it was real
and kissing crimson fell into her waiting arms~
"I want to say something to you Eiri-kun." she whispered lost in his hazel eyes for a moment trying to read them, and then rested her head on his chest, "Ai..." she started, but was stopped by him pressing a finger to her lips.
Eri shook his head, "Iie….." he told her, gently pushing her away from the embrace he had been holding her in.
"Eiri?" she blinked her eyes full of hurt at being rejected.
He glanced at her, closing his eyes at moment later, "You don't know me enough to say that." he said.
Hesitant at first to leave her apartment, but he couldn't allow her to say it. It would make it hard for him to believe he didn't feel the same way. Leaving, rather running away from her seemed to be more logical than giving into her. Without another word he left, not bothering to close the door, "You make me feel like a fool." he said out loud when he was well out of earshot, not caring to look back.
~strange attraction spreads its wings
it varies but the smallest things
you never know how anything will change~
She could have had any other guy she wanted, yet she chose him. Why? He wasn't someone she could get serious with. It was out of the question. He knew more about her than she did him. Why, because she told him everything without him asking. From her friends, to her family, and finally to why she thought they were a great couple. Like it really mattered anyway, because he didn't know how much more he could take. She was too much for him to handle.
~strange attraction spreads its wings
and alters but the smallest things
you never know how anything will fade~
It was so ironic that he finally gave into his temptation of getting serious, when he had been the one pushing her away. He really could be a walking contradiction at times: say one thing, do another. He wanted to give it a try, to see if it would really work. Maybe he could finally really get over what happened with Yuki, and give himself a chance. It was a good time to tell her. She had called, asking if she could come by. Apparently she needed to speak with him.
"I'm leaving for America." she had told him just before he could tell her, "I'm moving there with someone."
"Someone?" he asked, a little too harshly.
She folded her arms, leaning against the door frame, "I've waited for you long enough Eiri." she swallowed hard, forcing her tears back, "I can't wait anymore."
He should have been relieved, but he wasn't, "If that is your choice" he started, coming closer to her, cupping her face in his, "Fine." he kissed her lips one last time; she at least gave him that.
She let her tears fall then, "Gomen ne Eiri." she said, before leaving his apartment in a rush.
He heard the door slam, "Sayonara." he said in a hushed voice.
~so alone into the cold new year without
another word from her
i wrote to ask if we could maybe meet again before the spring
but weeks went by with no reply until once more my birthday came
and with it my surprise but this time nothing was the same... ~
One year, that's all it had been since he had last seen her. He could have written his novel a long time ago, but he wanted to forget. There were times when he wanted to look her up when he happened to be in the States, just to visit, and he'd change his mind at the last minute. She was happy now; who was he to spoil it for her. It was too late.
He sat up, lighting another cigarette, and began typing more of his thoughts into the computer. This was going to be yet another love story of his; he was sure the women would love it. The phone rang a minute later. He picked up the cordless next to his laptop, "Hai." he said, his eyes still on the screen, listening to the voice, "Yosh, I'll come." he said, deciding he could give her at least that much.
~"i'm sorry - blame infatuation - blame
imagination
i was sure you'd be the one but i was wrong -
it seems reality destroys our dreams - i won't forget you blossom"
fared red inside a tiny book of old goodbyes... ~
He stood at a few feet away, watching the service from afar. He said he would come, but he didn't need to make it obvious. Seiya knew he was there; he was clearly keeping a look out for him. Eiri knew he had seen him; the idol gave him a slight nod in acknowledgement. The novelist nodded back, waiting for the service to end.
"Thank you for coming." Seiya approached him once the service was over, "She would have wanted you too."
"Hai." Eiri answered, keeping his expression neutral.
"I'm sorry." The black haired idol bowed his head, "I tried to make her happy."
Eiri sighed lightly, "I'm sure."
The idol looked away, knowing he wanted to be left alone, "I have some business to attend to. Excuse me." he said, keeping his own emotions hidden as he left the novelist alone.
Once he was alone, Eiri kneeled on one knee, placing a single white rose onto the headstone, "Usagi." he whispered her name, bowing his head, trying to keep himself together, "I'm sorry." he swallowed hard, "All I can say now is what if…" he stood up then, closing his eyes to block the tears, "Arigato, for everything."
~strange attraction spreads its wings
it varies but the smallest things
you never know how anything will change~
Shuichi beamed, "YUKI! Your book has sold out and has the highest ratings this month!" he squealed, jumping onto the couch. Eiri glared at his lover at first, receiving a fake pout expression from the pink haired singer, "Yuki…"
A small hint of a smile replaced the scowl, "I know." he put his arm around Shuichi, pulling him closer.
Shuichi raised an eyebrow at how nice Yuki was being; usually he was very cold and distant, "Ano………You're being very nice."
The novelist shrugged, "I think it's time I start being a little nicer; don't you think baka."
The singer blinked in amazement, a bit nervous, "Really." he frowned, unconvinced. "Don't call me baka! I don't care if you think I'm an idiot, and make fun of me all the time and think that my lyrics are…………" Eiri cut him off by kissing him, causing Shuichi eyes to widen.
Eiri leaned back, looking into his violet eyes, "Shut up, before I change my mind." he said, and pulled him even closer; deciding he wouldn't make the same mistake he had with Usagi, and titled his lover's chin up to resumed the kiss.
~strange attraction spreads its wings
and alters but the smallest things
you never know how anything will fade~
