This is a collab between FalsettoSlumber and Mightier than Swords in the form of a series of letters sent between Albus and Scorpius, and Harry and Draco over the course of the boys' fifth year summer.

Throughout the letters, FalsettoSlumber will be writing as Albus and Harry, and MightierThanSwords will be writing as Scorpius and Draco! This is a slash fic, don't like it, don't read it.

Authors' Notes:

FalsettoSlumber:

This is our first collab, so we're not entirely sure what we're doing! But have confidence in us, and our writing ability (especially MightierThanSwords, her parts are brilliant in my opinion. I fully advise you to skip on over to her profile and read her other stories, especially Bad Faith). Also have confidence in our ability to update. Anyway, enjoy the story!

MightierThanSwords:

Hi, I'm the other (and more sarcastic) author of this fic! First collab for me too, and I hope anyone reading will have just as much fun as the pair of us did writing it. Much love goes to FalsettoSlumber, great writer and even better friend. And, er, if you happened to go take a look at my profile as she suggested, you will make me a very happy person.


Al,

You're a complete moron. The Cannons will never win – their Seeker this year is about as coordinated as you are. In other words, he can barely fly.

If you're still up for coming over to the Manor later in the holidays, Father says it's okay. He did roll his eyes, but I don't think he minds. You make him laugh, he says you remind him of your dad, apart from the lack of Quidditch skills... Anyway, I wanted to show you my new room, it's been redecorated. No more awful gold. Slytherin colours all the way for me; Father said he's proud.

Anyway, write back soon. And make your handwriting legible this time, please, even if you have to get Lily to write it for you.

- S


Scorp;

I am not a moron! Leave it off! Also, I can too fly! You just haven't seen me fly properly yet. I hate people watching, although I suppose that makes your point kind of true, since good Quidditch players can play well in front of thousands of people, instead of just the family cat. But still, I can fly! Dad got me a new broom the other day, Flightstar 300, I think he felt guilty what with everything that's been happening. Mum kept trying to give me James' old broom, you know what she's like, but Dad wouldn't let her, said I should have my own, even if I can barely fly (there, I admit, you're right. Can't stop me enjoying it though!

Awesome about the visiting, by the way, though I think I'll keep out of your dad's way if the only thing I'm good for is for making him laugh, honestly, that's just cruel. I'm nothing like my dad though, tell him. Dad's way too much of a pushover, if you ask me. Lets Lily walk all over him since everything happened. The other day, she said in passing that she wanted a new owl. Two days later? Guess what she got! Seriously, she's going to start taking advantage soon.

Thank God you got rid of the gold! Do you have any idea how annoying it is having parents that are in Gryffindor? No matter where I go, it's always gold red gold red god red… sometimes I just want to throw a bucket of green paint everywhere, just to see what everyone would do.

I didn't get Lily to write it for me, but this letter took really long to write. Why do you think I have to borrow Rose's notes all the time in class? It isn't my fault; I think I got it off Mum.

I'll go ask Dad about visiting (although like I said, he's a pushover. I expect I'll see you very soon), write back quickly!

Albus x


Al,

Such a good broom is wasted on you. The last time I watched you "fly properly" – honestly, why fly right outside the library when I'm working in there? Do you do it deliberately to annoy me? – you fell nearly 50 feet, and if it wasn't for Rose's brains you'd have cracked your head open. I feel sorry for the family cat, I imagine it's been landed on several times.

Don't be such a wuss, Father's not that bad. I know the first time you met him didn't go quite to plan, but really, he's nowhere near as bad as my Grandfather. The other day, he actually said "please" to one of the house-elves – then he mentioned something about how that would have made your Aunt Hermione happy? It didn't make sense to me...

Actually, I asked him, and he said to tell you that you are exactly like your dad. Apparently your hair is even messier. Although he did say that you're considerably more open-minded about the Malfoy family than your dad was at school.

Next time I visit your house, we'll paint James' room green and silver, how about it? Then we can go and hide with my mother in France to avoid being murdered.

Albus Severus Potter, you are laughable. You were probably meant to be a leftie, you know.

Bribe your dad if you have to!

- S

(P.S. Kisses? You ponce.)


Scorp;

I said shut up! I will be a good flier one day, I swear. The other day, I managed to get something through the goal posts that Dad had set up for James to practice with (bloody idiot, how come he got the flying talent? It's so annoying, when he prances around school with that damn snitch he stole. Anyone would think he were royalty to look at him), and I got something through! Although… given that it was Lily's cat, this maybe wasn't such a good thing - damnit, why have you put a truth charm on this! I wasn't going to tell you that!

Didn't go to plan? DIDN'T GO TO PLAN? He hexed me, Scorpius! HEXED! I'd say that definitely didn't go to plan. I had grey hair for a week! Damn my inherent aesthetic similarity to Dad. Anyway. Ah, yes. Good old Aunt Hermione; apparently when our parents were at school, she started some weird club; Puke, or something. Whatever it was, she loves house elf equality. Didn't you read in the Quibbler the other month about how she passed the legislation to have all house elves be paid? Obviously didn't end well, but…

My hair isn't messy! I, er, do it like that on pu- damn your stupid truth charm! This is so unfair. And of course I'm more open minded; our dads hated each other, Scorp. I don't hate you, of course. Well, except for sometimes. Like when you try to remove my earmuffs in Herbology. I couldn't hear for a week, Scorpius! You'd better be happy they were young mandrakes!

I'll get the paint, you get the equipment. This needs to be done! Next time I go to visit Mum, you are definitely coming with me! Then we can go to France. Do you like croissants? I do, but only the ones with chocolate bits in; don't fancy eating snails though. Bleurgh!

ThLs iz m y wr1tin6 wit4 my lsft hand', it's eveo w or5e, Scorqiuz! N0w d o you th1nk m Y norfal h4ndw rit1ng`s mEzsy?

Albus

(Don't like kisses?)

xxxxxx


Al,

Oh dear, poor kitty. No wonder Lily hasn't been speaking to you recently. I do hope the poor thing survived. And it's perfectly fair that James should get the Quidditch skills; after all, he takes after your granddad, name and everything. You got your dad's sneakiness and the ability to retain a friendship with someone as fantastic as me – name one person James honestly gets along with? And then stop whining. You know I could give you flying lessons if you would just shut up and listen to me.

Er, he really is sorry about the hexing. I know he felt awful about it. You gave him a fright, that's all, apart from the lack of glasses you look exactly like your dad did at your age. Father showed me pictures, it's uncanny. If there had been any of him and your dad together, I think they would have looked exactly like you and I do. Obviously with less silver and green, perish the thought that your dad would wear anything but red and gold.

Puke? Your dad's friends are insane. It's amazing Lily's so normal, a shame the weirdness rubbed off on you, though... Yes, Father mentioned something about that. Your Aunt Hermione is lucky we're rich or I think he might have sent her the bills. I'm not sure he ever got over the fact that she was smarter than him in school.

You know I have an aptitude for truth charms, it's the only reason I ever get a straight word out of you. Be glad I don't ask more personal questions, Potter. And when will you get it into to your head that the earmuff incident was accidental? You're a pain in the arse, but I would hardly try and kill you. Maybe just break your nose or something.

Actually, they make croissants with snails in them now. I'll buy you some for your birthday.

The depths of your inability astound me, Albus, I can't believe your mother didn't get you handwriting lessons or something. I'll get you snail croissants and a Quick Quotes Quill that works, so Rose doesn't have to deal with you copying her stuff any more. You shouldn't take advantage of her Ravenclaw-ness, and yes, that is now a word.

Pack your things, you're coming over next Thursday, permission or not.

- S

(P.S. Two can play at that game, you nancy boy.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx)


Scorp;

It… survived. In one way of speaking; Dad had to make a pretty hurried visit to Diagon Alley. Do you know how hard it is to find black cats these days?

I suppose, when you put it like that, it's not so bad. No, James doesn't get along with anybody, you are not wrong. Remember when he got in that fight with Finnegan in third year? It was so funny, my brother - the giant slug. Perfect!

No comment on the flying lessons; you'd probably whack a bludger at me.

I'm sure he felt awful about it after, yes, but he found it pretty hilarious when it was happening. Although, at least I now know what I will look like when I'm seventy eight.

I suppose I could maybe forgive him though; he does make amazing cookies! I still don't understand why he doesn't get the house elves to do it. Probably something to do with my aunt passing another law forbidding house elves from baking or something stupid.

I can't imagine my Dad in green, he loathes it. You should see his face every time he comes into my bedroom; you can tell he's itching to change it all around.

Hey! There's nothing wrong with being weird; normality's over rated, I say. And decidedly boring, really. Tell me the last time you had a conversation with Lily that didn't result in you falling asleep.

Truth charms my ass. One day I'll get you back, Scorp. Just you wait and see. And aunt Hermione can't help being the 'brightest witch of her age'. I'd like to see your dad be the brightest witch of his age. As you can't see my face, I'm laughing at my own joke right now. How was it accidental, by the way? You reached up and grabbed them off me! I'm pretty sure you weren't trying to do anything else.

Ugh, snail croissants? I'll put them in your bed when you aren't looking if you really do give me any. I'll even animate them back to life for your pleasure.

Here's my neatest calligraphy Scorpius;

You. Are. An. Ass.

Complete with the ears and the bad smell of horse manure.

Luckily, Dad just gave his permission! Going to pack my trunk now!

Albus

Here's a step up from kisses; [heart]

Ha!


Al,
They are supposed to be bad luck, you know. That thing probably had it coming, it was more vicious than its owner.
I would indeed whack a Bludger at you, and you at seventy-eight was a more entertaining sight than anything I've ever seen before. I'll ask Father to make cookies when you're here, if you're so taken with them.
Oh, don't panic, Al, you know you're the only one for me. No need to be so jealous of Lily! Or so harsh, either, she can be interesting when she isn't plotting world domination or attempting to turn me into a transvestite.
You know things are bad when you're laughing at your own jokes, Potter, and I'll have you know that I have never once smelt of anything unpleasant in my life. Stop insulting me, or I will take back your invitation.
Please pack underwear this time, neither of us ever recovered from the mortification of you having to borrow mine.
- S
(P.S. Please let us never tell anyone about this. You declaring your love for me is possibly the most embarrassing thing I've ever had to live through.
But Malfoys never lose. [heart][heart][heart])