just a little drabble thing. catherine's a great character to play around with and it's fun trying to find all the different sides of her character.
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Sometimes she wonders if this is really her life – if she's simply just stuck in this never-ending dream with no way out. It feels like that sometimes, like she's not actually all there, as if she's just drifting through the world pretending to be this person, pretending this is her life – alive but not actually living.
"Mummy?" she hears a small voice call.
She turns away from the window and looks down only to find big brown eyes looking up at her – the same eyes she sees every time she looks into the mirror, eyes that look exactly like hers even though they're completely different.
"Hey baby," she whispers, letting a small smile through as her son lifts his arms up with a pout on his face. She bends down and he scrambles into her arms and as she stands back up she realizes how big he's getting.
She's not going to be able to do this soon.
The thought alone sends a rush of coldness sweeping through her heart, a feeling of hopelessness settling in because her little boy's growing up and that means eventually letting him go and she's not ready for that – will never be ready for that.
A small hand presses against her cheek, soft and warm and still so little. It's only then that she realizes her eyes are closed, and if they're a little wetter than they were before well, it's not like anyone's around to see it.
There's a little furrow between his eyebrows and his lips are pulled downwards just the slightest bit and her breath catches in her throat for a second because it's the same exact way his father used to look at her. It's impossible not to see the resemblance, he's the spitting image of his dad, the only part he got from her is her eyes.
She wishes he had his eyes instead.
"Mummy?" he asks again but this time it's almost a whisper and just for a moment he sounds so much older than his five years. Almost as if he understands the turmoil going on inside of her and wants to take it away.
"Yeah baby," she smiles pressing a kiss to his forehead. He looks at her for a little while longer before simply ducking his head down and resting it in the crook of her neck.
One day he'll leave her.
One day he'll find out the truth about her.
One day he'll hate her.
But that day's not today, and right now she still has him, and he still kisses her every morning when he wakes up and hugs her for no reason other than he can. And that's enough for her right now.
