I finally got the very piece of mail that I've been waiting over a month for. The place I went to had promised to make sure my case stayed secret while making it top priority by running all the test they possibly could. The doctor assured me they will do everything and they did including a few things I didn't think were necessary, but, I am not a physician so what do I know? All my possible hopes and dreams are on the line here. The only reason I thought of this because after my closest female friend announced she was pregnant to her fiancé. I still can imagine his eyes roll back into his head shortly before him fainting. It's an amusing thought that I'll never let them know I was tempted to laugh at him passing out after hearing the love of his life is pregnant. Well there's that and that girl Melvin saying I would be a great mom because certain things I did.

I had this piece of mail delivered to a private mailbox that no one in my circle of friends know I have. As I open the envelope to read the pages it had incased I feel an increase of nervousness so I calm myself before reading. With every word I feel my heartbreak even more as I get the worse news in my life. The prognosis is that it is almost impossible for me to have a child. Then he walks in. The last person I wanted to see in this Tower at the moment and he shows up as usual with his signature greeting so I quickly hide the letter. Automatically he senses something is wrong with me and asks questions. I lie of course before giving an excuse about me going to my room. He either believes me or has tuned me out the moment I said I was going to my room. Before leaving I covertly throw the letter in the trash hoping that he doesn't hear the paper hit the can.

I hate my life.

--------------------

There are days where fate is cruel. My good pal is not only engaged to be married but he will become a father in less then nine months and I'm jealous. Of the becoming a father part not getting married. Even though I do wish I could find someone to settle down with, but, who would. I am a chick magnet after all, and like a magnet I repel more women then Bret Farve has Career passing yards. Thought I was going to say attract didn't you? How can I attract women with the way I look. Well there is one girl I can think of who might be interested in me, but, it's a million to one long shot so no real reason to try. Where was I? Oh yeah I'm jealous of my dear friend becoming a father. Sure I think he'll be a good father considering who he is. That kid would be on the receiving end of so much love and caring it won't know what to do, and I wish I could be able to give that to a child of my own. But what woman in here right mind would want to have a son or daughter with me. Well I might as well drown my sorrows in a gigantic Root Beer float.

When I enter the common room I noticed one of my friends and I say hello to her with my customary big goofy smile. That's when I sense something. She moved quickly as if to hide something. What I don't know, but, it's not important. What is important is that I can feel this humongous weight in the room that only she could have put in here. I ask her what is bothering her and she respond with a nothing then she gave her typical excuse of needing to go to her room so I dropped it and head into the kitchen. As much I want to find out I know I should hold off until she is in better humor.

As I opened the freezer door I heard it. It sounded like paper being thrown away, but, I didn't bring anything with me so it must have been hers. Odd I don't remember her holding anything, but, I do remember not seeing her hands so she must have had something. Putting aside my thoughts of Ice Cream and Root Beer goodness I investigate. Hey once something is thrown away it becomes public property thus giving me freedom to look. Hopefully she'll buy that if I get caught looking at whatever it was. Picking up what she threw away I noticed it was some sort of medical test results. Why would she go to the hospital? That's when I read the reason why. According to this she'll never have a child.

And I thought I hated my life.

----------------

The moment I enter my room I start crying shortly before jumping on my bed. I don't care how much destruction I cause right now. I need this. To shed these tears of sorrow even if I have to explain what happened later. Some people might say getting upset over what will never be is pointless, but, this has a point. I'll never have a child of my own. Thus I'll never get married and have a husband. What man in his right mind would want a woman that can't bear children? It's like a piece of me has been stolen from me and the thieves destroyed it. Now I can't help but be envious of my best girlfriend. She gets to have something I'll never have, and it's not fair. Just because of what I am I'll never know the joys of holding a baby for the first time after giving birth. I'll never get to breast feed it, or, hear he or she call me momma for the first time.

All of a sudden I feel a pair of arms pick me up and holding me into someone's chest. I initially begin to fight my assailant until I hear his voice telling me to just let go. I'm not sure why he's doing this but I bury my face into his chest and begun sobbing harder then I have ever thought possible. I probably was bawling for five or ten minutes but it felt like hours and my eyes hurt. After I had relaxed I pulled back and saw the face of the person that came to me in my time in need and all I could do was ask "why?" He said "I know" before showing me my fertility test results.

I hate him.

---------

I reread these papers in my hand to make sure I understood them correctly. Her heart must be breaking. I know my heart would. That is when one of our friends came in saying hi before asking me what I was holding. Acting quickly I stuffed the papers in my uniform before answering quickly before running out undoubtedly leaving him confused. If she had went to such lengths to hide this from us I'll make sure that the others won't find out. I walk down the hallway trying to think of a way to talk to her about this when I hear a strange sound coming from her bedroom. As much as I know I'll live to regret this I sneak into her room and I see it. The place looks like a war zone and in the middle of everything is an undamaged bed with her lying on top weeping.

I felt like I could die from seeing her in so much pain. That's when I decided to do something. I carefully make my way through the debris and swiftly pulled her into my chests forgetting that is where I hid the results. Initially she tries to get out of my grasp, but, a simple comforting command my parents had used on me and she let loose. I don't know how much time pass, but, I didn't care. She needed me and that is all that matters. When she calmed down she asked me "why?" Telling her I know I reached into my uniform and pulled out her papers from the hospital. That is when I saw the anger in her eyes.

She hates me.

---------

"Get out."

"No." He says catching me by surprise. Either he is dumber then I thought or he has gained a lot of courage.

"Either get out or I'll throw you out."

"If you throw me out I'll just come back in. You need someone right now." He states in defiance.

"I don't need anyone."

"This large tearstain on my uniform that you made suggests otherwise." He replies pointing to his uniform's top.

"I didn't ask for you to hold me."

"You didn't have to. I couldn't stand seeing you in pain." Suddenly I feel all my anger towards him evaporate.

"Why did you have to say that? You invaded my privacy. I should be angry with you."

"Because its the truth. Besides it could have been one of the others then everyone would know without coming to you first." As much as I hate to admit it he was right. The moment one of the other three found out everyone in the Tower would know.

"Well I guess this should be a blessing in disguise. I don't deserve to have children."

"Don't say that. Out of all of us you deserve it the most. Behind this barrier you put up I know there is someone that could love a whole orphanage full of children."

"That isn't true and you know it."

"Why not? You've put up with me all these years." I don't know why but that self deprecating humor made me crack a small smile.

"Point taken. But, even if I could have children, Who would want someone like me?" After I asked that question I notice he gets nervous.

------------------

"Point taken. But, even if I could have children, who would want someone like me?" she asked looking straight at me with that soul piercing gaze of hers. I feel a giant frog try to make a home in my throat as my heart rate increased to that of a humming bird. Trust me I literally know how that feels. I have a unsustainable desire and need to tell her the truth, but, she will think I'm saying that just to make her feel better. If the roles were reversed I would think the exact same thing, but, that doesn't matter. If there was going to be a defining point of our relationship this is it. So I take her hands into mind knowing she might clobber me later and stare into those beautiful eyes that I've seen for years.

"I would."

-------------------

"I would." Were the words that came out of his mouth and at first I didn't believe him. The I looked into his emerald eyes. I felt like I was staring into his soul. A soul that complete was watching me with open arms saying "I've been waiting for you."

"You're not saying this just to try to make me feel better are you?" I ask him.

"If I was you can put me in a cage and sell me to the circus."

----------------------

"If I was you can put me in a cage and sell me to the circus." I answer with a smile on my face and I can see her eyes slightly twinkle in amusement. She has been threaten to do that to me for years ever since Star told us about the time she was in the future.

"So I assume we are a couple now?" She asks.

"I guess, but, we can hold of on telling the guys. I mean Rob and Star having enough to worry about with the baby and their wedding there is Cy that will probably try to get our heads examined for getting together."

"And we both know you need it."

----------------------------

"And we both know you need it." I jabbed as he put on a pout on his face for a few seconds before laughing.

"What do you want to do with this?" he asked before I incased the documents with my powers and shred them into so many piece it would take Cyborg weeks to put together if he tried then dropping the remains in a thrash can.

"Beast Boy?"

--------------------

"Beast Boy?"

"Yeah, Raven?"

"What if one day and we're still together and you decide you want kids? You can't have them with me."

"That is something that we can worry about later. If you worry about the future the present will become the past."

---------------

"That is something that we can worry about later. If you worry about the future the present will become the past." He said trying to sound wise.

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"It means if you focus to much on what could happen what is happening will pass you by."

"You know Beast Boy it takes you saying things like that makes me wonder if you're more intelligent then we give you credit for."

"Stick with me long enough and you'll see how smart I really am." He said before getting up to leave. "Do you want to head for the common room? I'm sure Cy is ready to get beat by you in chess for the hundredth time."

"Or he's ready to beat you at those stupid videogames for the millionth time."

"Low blow, Rae." He said in a mock hurt voice as we left my bedroom. Together.