Bella's P.O.V.
When I was a little girl, I dreamed of far of places and adventures to be had. It helped a lot with my diagnosis.
I had Leukemia.
And at that age, my mother had me write a list of all the things I wanted to do before I died. Now, when I was younger, my diagnosis was a lot worse than what it is now, so they were preparing for the worst.
Here's the list I wrote when I was 13:
1. Meet my Grandfather. If he's still alive.
2. Learn to ride a horse!
3. Learn to play the piano.
4. Go to a school dance with a date.
5. Meet Peter Pan and kiss him!
6. Find love.
Here's the list I wrote two weeks ago when I was in the hospital, I am aged 17 now.
1. Drive a car by myself.
2. Finish watching the Fault in Our Stars without crying.
3. I don't want to die a virgin.
4. Meet Peter Pan again.
I know what you must be thinking. Meet Peter Pan again? Well, remember number 5 on that list I wrote when I was thirteen? Well, there's a little story behind it...
Bella's P.O.V. Aged Thirteen.
I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was honestly about to jump out that window, I was on the fifth floor so I think it would be over quick. Anything is better than sitting here and dying slowly, watching your family's hearts break over and over again. People rarely think that sometimes all us dying people want to do is die. Some think we want to fight, which I did for a long time. But now...?
It was raining, hard, and I loved days like today. I can hear the thunder and how it shakes the hospital, it's like the heavens have opened up and everything is falling out of them. Mom says it's the angels bowling, but I don't think so. I don't think they have bowling in heaven, must be very boring up there.
Bowling used to be one of my favorite pass times when I wasn't in the hospital, but the doctors tell me I'm not allowed to go bowling because of the germs. They could give me an infection, then I would be in real trouble. Like I wasn't in real trouble already.
I got up and walked to the window and looked out at the city below me, my family was down in the cafeteria eating lunch. Mine should be coming in any minute now, but I don't think that I'll eat it. I'm not feeling to hungry today. My list is sitting on my bedside table, looking very unmanageable. How am I going to do any of those while I'm in a hospital? I haven't been to school in months, and my friends aren't allowed to visit because of the germs.
My Grandfather went missing when I was seven, and I never got to meet him. Riding a horse and playing the piano? Yeah, right...
Kissing Peter Pan? Ever since I saw the movie and read the books, I've wanted to meet him. I've wanted him to take me away from the hospital and take me to Neverland! Where I wouldn't have to grow up or get sick ever again! How magical it would be, and if I kissed him maybe I could find love as well...
A knock at my door sent me back to bed. My Nurse Wendy was standing in the door way looking at me, smiling like usual.
"Good morning Bella." She smiled coming next to me to set my food down.
"It's noon, you should say good noon to me. It's no longer morning." I corrected. She smiled and sat down next to me.
"Very well, Good Noon to you Bella." I smiled and nodded.
"Good Noon to you as well Wendy." She handed me my pills and a glass of water.
"Alright, ready?" She asked and I shook my head. I hated taking pills, they make me sleepy and want to throw up sometimes.
"No, I hate taking pills." I complained as I let them fall into my mouth, water following them down. Wendy smiled at me and helped me into bed.
"So you're too tired for your favorite chocolate bar?" My head snapped in her direction as she pulled out a milky way bar from behind her.
"No! Definitely not!" I promised snuggling down into my bed.
"Good, you can have it a little later when you wake up alright? Promise." I nodded, not feeling to well for chocolate anyways. Wendy walked over to my sidetable and looked at my list.
"What's this?" She asked, holding up the paper.
"It's my to do list." I said, yawning already.
"To do list, huh?" She examined the paper and smiled at a couple of the things on the list.
"Meet Peter Pan and kiss him?" Wendy said incredulously.
"Yeah..." Sleep was becoming very inviting as she continued to look at the paper in front of her.
"Well dear, perhaps if you wish on the right star, he'll come and see you." She said, patting my hand before walking out of the room.
"Perhaps..." And with that sleep took me.
I woke up a few hours later, well, maybe more than a few hours. The light outside had disappeared and was replaced with the darkness. How long had I been asleep for? The clock next to me read 9:48. Wow, that's pretty late at night for me to be awake. I thought about what Wendy had said before I fell asleep and smiled.
Maybe all I had to do was wish...
But making a wish like that seemed a little ridiculous, I mean, Peter Pan wasn't real... Was he?
Before I could rationalize myself out of it, I walked over to my window and opened it carefully. My screen was broken last week, the window washer knocked it out and it fell off, they hadn't gotten around to replacing it quite yet. Especially considering I haven't felt that good these past few weeks.
I let the night air rush past me as I hung my head out of the window. I looked up to the sky and breathed in deeply, this was a beautiful night. The sky above me was littered with stars as I looked at it. Now, which star should I wish on? That one looks like a good one, the second one to the right.
So, do I pray to him or...? I got on top of the radiator and sat in the windowsill and looked up at the star.
"Hello... Um, I don't know if you can hear me. But if you can, I'd like to meet Peter Pan. I'm very ill and I don't know if that would make a difference, but I might not live much longer... And I was wondering if I could meet him, I have a present to give him and I'd like to see what he says about it... So, uh, thank you. Oh! My name is Bella by the way! Bella Luna Sparrow. Thanks for listening..." I said, getting down from the radiator and getting back to my bed.
It was still warm from me sleeping in it, so I hunkered down and looked out of my still open window. Would this happen? Would he come? I know it's a childish thing to wish for, but was it so wrong to want something childish?
A knock at my window startled me out of my thoughts. I looked and saw a boy sitting on my windowsill, looking at me.
"Hello..." I said very softly.
"Now, miss Bella, not many people make wishes to see me. They don't even know which star to wish on, how on Earth did you manage to choose the right one?" I heard a British accent ring in my ears. Oh. My. God.
"You actually came?" I asked, moving in my bed slowly.
"Well, you asked very kindly. And you said you had a present for me, now who am I to deny a gift?" He said, walking over to my bed.
"A-and I'm sick." I said quietly as he sat down next to me.
"Yes, I can tell." He said, gesturing to my hospital room.
"I have Leukemia." I told him, before I could stop myself. He nodded thoughtfully and looked at me again.
"I'm sure you already know how awful that is, so I won't remind you." He told me, looking out the window.
"Thank you." I said, looking at him in the moonlight.
"I don't mean to be rude, but you said you had a gift for me." He said, turning back to me.
"Oh, of course! You'll have to come a little closer before I can give it to you." I was really doing this. I have known this boy for two minutes and I'm going to kiss him. He raised one eyebrow and looked at me.
"Why?" He asked me.
"Because." I told him sassily. He smiled and moved closer to me.
"I'm not going to hurt you am I?" He asked concerned.
"No, I need you to close your eyes as well." I said softly, he gave me an odd look but shut his eyes anyways.
"I'm trusting you here Bella Sparrow." I smiled and leaned forward the slightest bit, mentally preparing myself for what was about to happen. I leaned forward and placed my lips on his softly. I felt him tense underneath me, but he relaxed after a few moments. I pulled back and looked at him, blushing like crazy.
"Did you like your present?" He opened his eyes and looked at me.
"I did indeed. One of the better ones I've received." He saw my list sitting on the table.
"Um, you don't need to look-" He chuckled lightly.
"Well you can cross number five off your list now." He said, looking at the others.
"I guess I can..." Peter sat down next to me and looked at the list with me.
"Ride a horse, huh? I'll tell you something, your butt hurts tremendously afterwards." I laughed as he continued down the list, making comments about each one. His eyes stopped on the last one.
"You're awfully young to be thinking about finding love." He told me.
"When you don't have a lot of time left, you tend to start cramming a whole life into a few months. Which isn't what I want to do, but I do want to find someone to love unconditionally, even if they don't love me back." I said, taking the list and setting it back down on the side table.
"Why did you kiss me?" He asked, standing up.
"Because, I didn't want to kiss just anybody. I thought of you, because I've heard your stories since I was little. Extremely little, before I was sick. And I thought you might need one, because everyone deserves to know that someone cares about them. Regardless if they're real or not." Peter smiled at me and kissed my forehead.
"I'm glad I trusted you and closed my eyes." I laughed a little and watched him walk over to my window.
"Are you leaving so soon?" I asked, wondering why he would leave.
"I have to get back to Neverland, but remember, the second start to the right." With that he got up on the window sill and jumped out of my window. And that was the last time I saw Peter Pan.
Bella's P.O.V. Aged 17.
I love remembering that night. I can still feel his lips on mine as I clumsily tried to give him a proper kiss. I had been practicing on my hand, so maybe I would be less rubbish this time. I walked over to my window in my home and looked out across the country side. The sun was just starting to set, and I wanted to see him again. And this time, I wanted to see all of him.
Peter had been giving me messages in my dreams ever since that night. It wouldn't happen every single night, but it would happen from time to time. I would dream of that night in perfect detail. Somehow I knew it was Peter sending me that memory, don't ask me how. I just knew.
I opened my window and looked up at the sky, the sun leaving the sky and starting to fade into the night.
"I know it's not nighttime, but I want to see you again. I have another gift to give you, but this one might take a bit longer... I would like to see you here soon, if possible. It's Bella Luna Sparrow, Peter, I would like to complete number six on my list." I said into the air, waiting patiently for him to appear. A knock at my door pulled me away from the window.
"Hello darling." My mother said, looking at me.
"Hey." I said impatiently.
"Your father and I are going out tonight. You've taken your medication, and we won't be but five minutes away alright? So if something goes wrong, we have out phones on us and you call us alright?" I nodded and gave her a hug.
"Love you." I told her. She smiled and hugged me back.
"I love you too." Her brown hair disappeared around the corner and I sighed.
"So, another present? I must be a lucky man." I turned around and shut my door.
"You showed." I said stunned, looking at him in the fading sunlight.
"That I did." He smiled and jumped down from the windowsill. I walked over to him and looked him over, he looked virtually unchanged from the last time I saw him.
"You look the same." I told him lamely, pausing any forward progress on what I wanted him here for.
"I do and you... Goodness how you've grown..." He said, looking me up and down.
"I'm seventeen now." I told him cockily. He smiled and held my chin.
"Good, because kissing a thirteen year old felt very very wrong to me." I smiled up at him.
"I kissed you if I remember correctly." Peter nodded.
"That you did, I hoped that my messages didn't pass by unnoticed." I smirked, I knew it was you you sneaky little shit.
"No, they did not." I told him as I took one of his hands gently and interlaced our fingers, feeling a gentle jolt in my bones.
"What am I doing here?" He asked me, trying to figure out my brain.
"I told you, I want to complete number six of my list." Peter looked very confused for a moment before smiling brightly.
"Oh, I definitely think I can help you with that one." I smirked again.
"Something told me you might be. But, I want you to see my new list." I walked over to my bed and picked up the list and handed it to him. Peter looked it over thoughtfully, a smile gracing his features as he looked at what I assumed was number three.
"I can help with two of these." He told me, handing my list back to me. I nodded and set the list down on the table next to my bed. Out of no where I felt arms wraps around my waist. I leaned back into his embrace and smiled.
"Peter?" I asked him, his head rested comfortably in the crook of my neck as he began to pepper light kisses everywhere.
"Mmm?" He mumbled into my ear.
"Can I go to Neverland with you?" I asked softly.
"Do you really want to?" He asked, spinning me around.
"Yes, I do. There's nothing left for me here... I want to start over, I want adventure... Because here, for the rest of my life I will be seen as someone who was fighting for a life that I didn't really want for a long time." He nodded and took my hands in his.
"I've watched you grow for these past couple years, and I've slowly fallen in love with you... And when you say you want to come back to Neverland with me, I really hope you mean it, because that big island wouldn't seem as lonely with you by my side." I smiled at him and nodded.
"I'd love to go to Neverland with you. But, I believe we have some unfinished business here..." I said, biting my lip and looking back at my bed nervously.
"That we do..." He whispered before turning my face in his direction again, kissing me gently. I was shocked at first, but eventually let myself relax into the motions I'd seen in movies and T.V. for years. Peter wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing me firmer.
"Peter..." I mumbled against his mouth as he kissed me thoroughly. I felt his hands go down to my hips as he trailed kisses down my neck and chest. He got on his knees in front of me as he kissed my stomach and went a little above my underwear line. He looked up at me, trying to ask for permission. I nodded quickly and pulled my shirt off, letting him guide me back to the bed.
"You're so beautiful..." He whispered as my back hit the bed, letting him crawl over me. I cradled his face and looked into his lust filled eyes. He smiled at me and reconnected our lips before guiding my hands to his shirt. I undid the clasps and let it fall to the ground, un-tucking his shirt from his pants. His kisses trailed to my chest, pulling my bra straps down slowly.
"Take it off." I begged him, sitting up. Peter's hands wound to my back and I felt the clasp come undone, my bra falling off my body.
Peter's eyes grew at the sight of me, he seemed to drink me in as he kissed my lips and went down. He kissed my neck and trailed kisses between my breasts before sucking a nipple into his mouth.
"Oh!" I gasped, my back arching off the bed. Peter continued to nip and suck at my breast before tugging on my sweatpants gently.
"These need to come off." He told me, letting me up slightly so he could get them off me. I was left in nothing but my panties, and Peter was still in most of his clothing.
"Those need to come off as well." I said, pulling his shirt over his head. He smiled at me and undid his buckle, letting his belt fall to the ground with the rest of our clothes.
"Bella Luna Sparrow, you are gorgeous." Peter told me, before kissing me again. I ran my hands down his chest slowly, feeling his stomach tense up as I ran my nails down. He kissed me harder as his hand went to my center.
"Peter..." I gasped, holding his wrist. He looked at me with concern.
"Do you not want to? I'll stop." He said, moving his hand away from me.
"No! No don't stop... I was just, shocked is all." I grabbed his hand and put it back where it was. "Please, continue." I told him, kissing his jaw lightly. Peter followed my instructions and rubbed my center gently, getting me worked up.
"Does that feel good?" He asked in my ear. I moaned softly and nodded.
"Yes, Peter... Oh god." I gasped as he continued to work me over.
"Bella, when you say my name like that, it makes me want to ravish you on this bed." He whispered.
"Please do." I begged.
"No, I'm going to make this count dear Bella." He told me, before pulling my underwear all the way down and off.
"Peter..." I said, looking into his eyes. He was the first person ever to see me naked. Besides my parents of course.
"Never think you have to hide from me, you're gorgeous... And I care for you very much." He told me with sincerity.
"I care for you as well, Peter Pan." I responded, watching as his eyes changed slightly. I saw something new in them, it wasn't purely lust anymore. There was something else in his eyes... Adoration.
Peter took my hands and placed them on the edge of his underwear.
"Take them off, I'm begging you Bella." He said, kissing my neck. I smiled and hooked my fingers in his underwear, lightly teasing him by dragging my fingers back and forth lightly.
I ended his torture when I pulled them down and released his throbbing erection. Oh sweet Jesus, how was that going to fit in me?
Peter must've seen the apprehension in my eyes, as he placed a soft kiss on my lips.
"I'm done being rough with you, for the rest of tonight, I'll only do what feels good for you. Unfortunately, this first part won't feel particularly satisfying." Peter said, looking genuinely worried.
"It's alright, I'm ready for it." I told him, opening my legs for him. He shot me a quick smile before settling his head between my legs. "What are you doing?" I asked him as he breathed hot air onto my core.
"I'm prepping you." He told me before sucking on me gently.
"Shit!" I cussed as Peter looked at me from under his lashes, looking devilishly handsome whilst giving me immeasurable amounts of pleasure. He rolled his tongue and sucked gently, coaxing me towards an end.
Peter began to rub me as well, whilst doing things with his tongue that had me moaning loudly.
"You're quite vocal, aren't you?" He asked me as he pushed on finger into me slowly. I winced at the foreign feeling. Peter continued to roll his tongue across me, still determined to get me to the finish.
"Oh God, Peter!" I moaned out, desperate for this pleasure to end, but so exhilarated to feel this close to him.
"Are you getting close?" He asked me, moving his finger faster.
"Yes! Oh God!" I threw my head back against the bed, gripping the sheets tightly in my hands. I could feel Peter smile against me, as he sucked harder and harder. Out of no where, this blinding sensation of pleasure rushed over me, leaving me gasping for air.
"You look beautiful whilst you do that, clutching the sheets and looking flushed." He smiled at me and pushed me back against my pillows, propping my head up. I felt something hard at my entrance. I looked down and saw him lining himself up with me, my hands began to shake.
"Peter..." I whispered, looking at him scared.
"It's alright, look at me." He said, making me look at him.
"I'm scared." I told him.
"I know, it's always scary your first time. But we don't have to do this now. We can wait if you want." I shook my head, I wanted my last night on Earth to be spent with him.
"No, I want to do this with you. Here. And now." He nodded and looked into my eyes.
"Hold onto me love, and I'll never let you go." I wrapped my arms around his neck and kisses his jaw lightly. I felt him push in gently, barely moving forward. He waited patiently for me to tell him to continue.
"More..." I whispered to him. He nodded and moved forward a bit more. He was pushing against something in my body and I felt it, the worst part was yet to come.
"I can, uh, feel your." I silenced him with his name.
"Peter, take it." I begged. He sighed and pushed forward. A burning sensation came from my center as he continued to push forward. I felt his hips touch mine and he stilled. I bit my lips in hopes of not crying, but that was becoming harder and harder to do. It hurt so much, but I kissed his neck and pulled away.
"Oh, you're crying... Do you want me to stop?" He asked, I shook my head.
"The worst part is over, now we wait. Kiss me..." I told him. He captured my lips in a seering kiss as he held my face in his hands. I tangled my fingers in his hair and kissed him back, hoping that I was doing a good job. After a few moments of kissing, I shifted my hips against Peter, causing him to give a strangled cry.
"Careful when you do that, remember this may not feel good for you at the moment, but it feels extremely good to me..." He said almost guiltily.
"Don't feel guilty Peter, I'm glad you're enjoying this. And in a few moments, I will be as well... Move." I told him. He looked at me and nodded, moving his hips back and pushing forward into me again. It was an odd sensation, him moving inside me, stretching me out.
"Does that feel good?" He asked again. I nodded, feeling the sparks of pleasure starting in my lower stomach.
"Y-yes, Peter. It feels incredible." He smiled and continued to move with me gently, guiding me through my first time.
"Put your hands around my neck." He told me, and I did. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself closer to him.
"Peter... Harder..." I was desperate for more friction from him, and I wanted him to feel good as well. He nodded and kissed me, before going harder into me.
He felt amazing inside of me, moving and thrusting himself towards his peak as well as my own.
"Bella." He moaned into my neck as he continued with his hard but controlled pace. I felt his hand trail down my side and reach my center as he began to rub me. All of the stimulation was a lot to handle, him inside me, him rubbing against me, he was all I could think of in that moment, and incredibly I wanted more.
"Faster, Peter..." I begged, gripping his shoulders in my hands. Peter complied with my wishes and began to move his hips faster. His hands began to grope my breasts gently, trying to coax me to that peak I reached earlier.
"I'm getting close, Bella." He warned, I smiled and tightened myself around him. He growled softly in my ear and kissed me. I kissed him back and let him take control again.
My stomach clenched involuntarily, signalling to me that I was getting close again.
"Peter... I'm close." I told him. He nodded, his breath coming in pants as he worked himself into me harder and faster. My back arched off the bed as the immense pleasure consumed me, I heard Peter call my name as warmth spread throughout me. Peter stilled and kissed me gently. I tangled my fingers into his hair as I felt him pull out of me, causing me to wince.
"Sorry, did that hurt?" He asked, concerned.
"It was worth every second." I told him, kissing his jaw gently.
"You bled..." Peter said, looking down at my stained bed sheets.
"Well, I'm a little new at this." I smiled as he wrapped his arms around me.
"You were amazing." Peter said, kissing the side of my head.
"When can we go to Neverland, Peter?" I asked as I propped myself up on my elbow.
"When we see the second star on the right, it'll go straight on till morning."
"It's a long time til morning." I told him. He smiled and nodded.
"That it is." I kissed him again, holding his hands above his head.
"And I've got a few ideas about that."
