pureVENOM: Ah, current setting! Well, it is now the weekend, and Fausta is trying to relax and think of an Earth-conquering plan. Yep, yep!
Disclaimer's on first chapter! Jhonen Vasquez is almighty.
Oh, and RogueStar, I thank you for all your support and reviews and stuff! It makes me all happiful!!
Hehe, well, I'm watching Invader Zim at the same time I'm attempting to write this. I LOVE ZIMMY!! OMG, Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy is SO evil...
Geez... I LOST my paper full of this fics notes for future chapters!! Darn it!! I'll just have to think of them again!
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Chapter Three: Visiting Houses of DOOM
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** Fausta and Faust's Earthen base
Fausta lay back on her small, but very fluffy sofa, gazing at the bullet-laser-proof glass aquarium of a wall in front of her.
Multi-colored fish and shrimp crawled or floated lazily about the life-covered rocks in the crystalline water.
It was bliss, being out of skool. Too bad she had to go back in a mere two days... Oh well. It was be nice to see Dib and Zim's torment of being there with her.
The Wing Invader was mentally debating on whether to go with Project DARK, or with--
"Why do you spend so much so much time staring into that overly large fish-tank, Fausta? Spend your time doing more productive things, or I'll take off Wing Invader Credits."
Faust stalked over to his little cousin, frowning.
His platinum wings glimmered under the dim tank lights, unlike Fausta's drab onyx ones.
She scowled at that thought.
"I'm thinking, Faust. Do not disturb me," Fausta replied coolly, wrapping her wings about her.
The darkness of them displayed her low ranking, but she still liked the color black. The cold, dark infinity of the color. How the whole of space was it, such a pure color. The absence and presence of all color.
"You know, you're losing too many Credits on behavior already, Fausta. AND on those strange incidents when your other mind takes over." Faust didn't like the girl's insolence towards him. "And what's so great about that glass barricade for fish?"
Fausta sighed. Her moron of a cousin could never appreciate the tranquil beauty of it.
"It's very relaxing, Faust. You just sit still and gaze into the clear waters for a few minutes, and it's like your brain is being absorbed."
"Absorbed by the shrimp?" he joked, looking at a large fire shrimp.
She shook her head and sighed again. "Yes, absorbed by the shrimp..." The Wing Invader hopped off the sofa, and headed outside, after grabbing her auxiliary pack and slinging it over her shoulder.
"Where're you going in this time of night, little cousin?" Faust asked, not really caring, popping open a Cherry Poop.
"Somewhere you're not."
** Zim and GIR's Earthen base
"ARGH! That FILTHY, schizoid Wing-BEAST!" Zim winced as a twinge of pain stung his fractured bones as he hobbled over to a computer. "AND that DIB-Human... Oh, why must this BE!? Why is the great ZIM plagued by such foul luck??"
GIR came skidding into the labs, making 'whooshy' sounds, while holding up his little squeaky pig and moose.
"Master! Look! They're FLYING!!" With that shouted, GIR threw the two rubber items, hitting Zim in his broken ribs.
"AHHHHHH!!!" Zim was on the ground, screaming very loudly.
"Ooh!!! That's looks like FUN!" GIR sprawled onto the cold tiled floor, mimicking his master.
Eye twitching very much, Zim had his robot legs help him back up.
"GIR.... Please... DON'T do that again..."
The SIR looked confused, but saluted anyway.
Zim's all-present scowl deepened. His healing was progressing rather slowly because of repeated attacks from Fausta, Dib, and GIR. He smoothed back his antennae and pressed a few buttons on his computer.
"Master! Are you calling those Tally...Irken...Leader guys??" GIR asked innocently, cocking his robot head to the side. "You haven't talked to them in such a LONG time!!"
Zim's antennae drooped and he lowered his green head. "No, GIR," he replied nonchalantly. "I'm not going to talk to them ever again. Understand?"
"Um... YETH! ..Wait, ..no." GIR looked around nervously, and then went to bounce around on his head. "Master!! How come you don't wear your favorite red shirt anymore?? You wanna bounce with me, master?? It's FUN!"
The Irken sighed.
"What's wrong, master??" GIR asked giddily, not stopping his bouncing. "It is it the moose again?? I LOVE mooses!!! They're so MOOSEY!!!"
GIR then had a bunch of video screens float by, all with mooses on them, and Humans petting them.
Zim picked up the horribly painful squeaky moose with two gloved claws. "Yes... It was the moose...."
The little robot soon bored of watching moose, and switched the channel to a Krazy Taco commercial.
The Krazy Taco Man spewed some rambling nonsense about how crazy he was, and how crazy the tacos were, then fell over.
GIR stared, mesmerized, into the screen. "Must obey... the Taco Man!"
Zim had observed this strange taco-y behavior from GIR for quite some time now.
"Hm... This... 'Krazy Taco Human' seems to have influential powers over his... less-intellectual viewers." The Irken glared at GIR who was currently drooling over a taco he had gotten from the replicator.
"Ah... Fascinating, no??"
"Yes. VERY." Zim rubbed his gloved hands together, grinning evilly, showing that he had an evil plan to conquer Earth. "..." He blinked. "Wait a minute... WING-BEAST!!!"
Fausta laughed and leapt down from the wired ceiling, in front of Zim.
"What are YOU doing in the base of Ziiiim, flappy Fausta??" he questioned, glaring angrily. The thought of his Hi Skool desk falling onto his broken self was NOT fun.
"Same reason I go to Hi Skool with you and Dib, really. One, to get away from Faust, and two, to keep a watchful eye on my dear enemies," she replied with venomous sweetness.
"OOH!! IT'S KIL!!!" GIR vaulted up, and wrapped his tiny arms around her face. "I MISSED YOU KIL! Let's watch the Krazy Taco Commercial Marathon!!"
The Wing Invader managed to pry the huggable little SIR off of her head. "No, GIR. I'm FAUSTA. NOT Kil. I do NOT want to watch that INSIDIOUS TV. I--"
"But the moose LOVES yooooou!!!" GIR retorted, waving another squeaky moose around with his metallic claw. "We even made a Hello Cake for you!!"
The small robot pulled a mass of cream, icing, semi-cooked dough, and other little goodies from his hollow head. It had the words 'we miss you Kil! HiiiIIIIii!' written in cyan frosting on it.
Fausta blinked. No one had ever done anything nice for her before. She shook of the thought. "Thank you, GIR. But I have quite importa--"
"The piggiiiiesss... The mooseiiiesss... You have to PLAY with us!" GIR whined, blue-green oculars filling up with tears.
The Wing Invader's left eye started to twitch. She then grasped her head in shock. "NO! Kil! Argh!! I HATE that--" Fausta shook her head violently, as if trying to throw her other self out of her head. She suddenly stopped, and a huge smile came over her features. "HIYA, GIR!! Long time, no... ...... CAKE!!!!"
Kil, who had just taken control, leapt into the large cake, shoveling the sweet sugary-ness of it down her throat.
GIR giggled in a high-pitched tone, and went to join her in Hello Cake eating.
Zim gave the two a strange look, shrugged and went over to where he kept a small arsenal of lasery weapons.
"AHAH!!" a voice cried out. "I KNEW it!!"
The Irken gave a disbelieving gasp, realizing the owner of the voice. "DIB!! You filth-beast!! What are YOU doing here!? Why is everyone in my base!?!? ...And what do you know??"
Dib, lowered his black mask, revealing his face. He didn't like the way his voice was muffled behind the cloth.
"It was easy getting inside. Fausta did something to your security system." He shrugged, then glared. "And I KNEW you two Invaders were working together!!"
"What? I am NOT working with that FILTHY Wing-worm, and-- HUH!? WHAT!?! MY SECURITY SYSTEM!?!?!"
The Irken sprinted to his main computer and began to type furiously.
Dib looked a bit confused. "But... The both of you are trying to conquer Earth, right...?"
"Yes," Zim answered quickly, still trying to fix the little security problem.
"Um..." Kil responded through a mouthful of icing. "I think Fausta wants to do something like that... She's so weird!" The happy little Wing girl went back to chomping on the badly-made pastry.
"Uh huh. And you're both Invaders, right??" Dib continued his questioning.
Zim didn't answer that question. Kil didn't either, since she was busy wrestling GIR for the last bite of cake.
"Whatever. So you two DON'T want to work together, and never will, right??" the Human added.
"Correct, sad, little Earth-monkey." Zim had just completed restoring the security program.
"Yesss!!" That was a good thing for Dib, and his mankind. He looked into his wrist communicator. "Gaz!! Did you hear that!? Isn't it great!??! What!? GAZ! How can you not care about the fate of all Humanity!?? Alright, alright... I'll be quiet..."
Anyhow, it turns out that GIR and Kil split the last bit of cake.
"Whoo!! We finished the Hello Cake, GIR!" Kil announced happily.
"Whee!! That was fun!" GIR agreed.
They then looked at each other.
"Whoo!" Kil said.
"Whee!!" GIR shouted.
"WHOO!!" was the Wing's reply.
"WHEE!!!!"
"WHOOoOOO~!!!"
"WHEE HEE HOO!!!"
"WH--"
Zim stopped this brain-rotting little argument by blasting Kil to the far side of the lab with a laser burst. His eye was twitching quite a bit.
Dib sighed in relief. "THANK you."
The Irken grinned maliciously and aimed the laser once more. Not at Kil this time, though.
Dib began screaming very loudly and running around, trying to avoid being fried.
"Oh please. Can't we all just grow up?"
A long, dark tentacle plucked the laser from Zim's destruction-loving claw.
"Yes, you two. Fausta is BACK! Ahaha!! FEAR ME!"
"Hey, wait a minute... You just helped me??" Dib questioned, amazed.
"Yeah, yeah," Fausta replied, boredly. "I don't want either of you to die BEFORE I control Earth. "I'll kill you both personally after this world is mine."
"Oh, well THAT's nice to hear," Zim stated sarcastically, smoothing out his large, navy-blue T-shirt.
Fausta smiled thinly. "Isn't it?? Still, if any of you bother me, I will be forced to hurt you."
Dib blinked. "Uh... well, then. I guess I'll be going now!" The Human was just about to run off, when Zim stopped him.
"Hold your Human horses, Dib-worm," Zim growled coolly. He held out an open claw.
"What?" Dib questioned. "WHAT!?"
"Oh, COME ON, mortal. Just give it to him..." Fausta scowled.
"Aw... This..stinks..." Dib dug into a hidden pocket at his side and drew out a tiny camera, dropping it into Zim's hand.
The Human frowned at the Wing and Irken. "You jerks..."
Zim grinned and began to laugh maniacally as Dib sulked away.
"Hang on, Dib-mortal." Fausta fluffed up her onyx wings in annoyance.
Dib let out an exasperated sigh. "Sweet jumping chili beans!! ALL RIGHT!" He pulled out another camera and handed it to her. "Annoying aliens..."
Fausta eyed Dib angrily. "I'm NOT an alien, but thank you for your cooperation." Having no use for the camera, the Wing gave the item to Zim, and headed off with a pouting Dib.
Zim breathed out in relief as the two rivals disappeared. He checked on his computer to see that they both had left.
"FINALLY." The Irken crushed the two little cameras with a robotic leg and smiled. "Now, back to my evil plotting, I guess."
"Mm! Master, do you want me to make YOU a Hello Cake too??" GIR asked sweetly, sticking out a pink tongue from the side of his metallic mouth. "Kil really liked hers!"
"No, GIR. I have much bigger things to do..." Zim replied, and ended it with a string of malicious laughter.
** The Dib-house
Gaz scowled upon her GameSlaveMasterIV. It had been a brand new game, and there weren't any strategy guides out for Doomy Blood Pigs III yet... How did she know to go left, and that if she didn't, Ultra Piggulon would try to use an instant death move?
Did that weirdo DARE to imply that she was the superior gamer??
Gaz's already nearly closed eyes narrowed even more at that.
"ANOTHER perfect dooming of Zim RUINED!!"
A sharp, familiar, and very annoying voice sliced through Gaz's train of thought. Her fists tightened in fury.
"Be quiet, Dib! I'm thinking!" she shouted from her room.
"Gaz, this is the living room! I can talk loud here if I want! If you want to think, go to your--"
Gaz shut him up with a mega death glare. "This...IS...my...ROOM..."
"All right, Gaz. I'll leave you and 'your room'! But I'm still angry about that Fausta-...Kil-or-whatever-...Wingy person messing everything up!" Dib complained further.
There was a low growl from the living room-- er... Gaz room sofa. Dib slunk quietly upstairs, to his bedroom to pout some more.
** Fausta's base! ...Alright, sheesh... Fausta AND FAUST's base...
"Oh, you're back." Faust was gulping down a Classic Diet Poop as his little cousin headed in from the now-broken front window.
Fausta scowled, brushing shards of glass from her long hair. "You know, Faust. You COULD'VE opened the door for me."
The Platinum Wing shrugged. "I'm drinking."
"Look, I'm tired. I used my cell rearranging abilities again. Please, don't make my headache worse..." the Onyx Wing growled, and slouched over to the hidden elevator in the living room water fountain.
"I really HATE that elevator," Faust commented absently, watching the fish-tank, and wondering what his little cousin would do if he just fried all those little critters. "You get all wet when you ride it."
"I like it," Fausta replied, tiredly. "And now I like it even more."
Faust 'hmph'ed loudly. "Fausta. Call up those Irkens. We need more supplies."
"Specify."
"Just get whatever," Faust replied indifferently.
His little cousin would probably just buy new pets if he destroyed them.
The Platinum Wing got up from the sofa and brushed at his silvery armor. He needed more Poops.
The eerie, bluish lighting of the levels below ground were nice and relaxing. They also made a really kewl and quiet humming sound because of the powerful energy generator.
Unlike the parasitic Irken methods of energy retrieval, this energy generator ran on water. Which was why there was so much water everywhere in the base. Fountains, tanks, tubs, sinks, springs, leaks. There was a small stream and pond in the front and back yard, respectively. The Irkens merely had large metallic wires suck out electricity from the surrounding area.
Fausta liked water. Such a magnificent thing! Life could not exist without it, yet could easily die by it. By the lack or excess of it, or wild watery disasters. It was powerful and prettiful at the same time.
The Wing stalked over to the computer in her chambers by the labs.
She established a transmission to the Intergalactical Irken Trade Ship (IITS) and the screen displayed a blue-eyed Irken , masked under a red uniform.
"State your business," he grumbled, bored out of his Irken mind.
"This is Onyx Wing--" she stopped and glowered when the Irken trade-manager began snickering at her low ranking.
"Ahem. I'm sorry, miss." The Irken cleared his throat. "Please, go on."
"Riiight..." Fausta scowled. "This is Onyx Wing..." She stopped to let the Irken giggle some more, and decided not to start over again. She didn't want to do this all night, after all. "Fausta. I'm the current student of Platinum Wing Faust--"
The Irken's azure eyes widened. "THE FAUST!? DEAR IRK, I LOVE HIS SHOW!! CAN YOU GET ME HIS AUTOGRAPH!?!"
Fausta rolled her eyes. "His pathetic show based on the Milky Way Galaxy's carbonated drinks!? What is WRONG with you!?" She gave a false cough. "Erm... I mean, sure. Will it be worth um...."
She just pulled some stuff from the top of her head. Faust never specified on supplies. Improvision, he said, was an important art. "Five Voot Cruisers, one SIR unit, three Voot Runners, four Voot Carriers, eight of the latest AI brains, six one-ton pieces of your most powerful yet of course inferior Irken metals, um.... and a side of curly fries."
"You got yourself a deal!!" the Irken trade-manager cried, finishing off the list.
"Don't forget the ketchup," the Onyx Wing reminded.
"Of course not, student of Faust!" He saluted and began to type it down.
"Hey, did someone just say curly fries and ketchup?"
Red suddenly appeared in the video screen.
Fausta frowned thinly. She didn't like people who betrayed their own kind. "Yeah, I said it--"
The Onyx Wing was interrupted by someone bursting through her bedroom door.
It was Faust, and he was holding a struggling Human by the collar.
"Faust, just KNOCK the door instead of KNOCKING it down, next time!! Sheesh!" Fausta's angry look deepened when she saw the face of the Human.
"Fausta, I found this HUMAN snooping around in the front yard." Faust lifted Dib up a little for added emphasis. "Don't lead these strays back over to our base. You just lost a lot more Credits."
Fausta's eyes widened at that. "ERGH! Blasted MORTAL!! When I'm done with Earth, I'll have you burning in the infernoes!!"
Dib quivered a bit. Then he saw the screen with Tallest Red on it.
"NOOO!!! MORE ZIM-RACE-IRKEN-..THINGIES!! You two ARE working together!! You can't lie to meee!!!"
Red blinked, confused. "....Zim's ALIVE??"
There was a sound of someone big falling over, choking, and then Tallest Purple shoved Red aside, and glared into the screen. "WHAT!? He was on an autopsy table!! He was dead for SURE!!"
"Dib-mortal..." Fausta began dangerously. "Don't start anything..." She looked at the Tallests quizzically. "And why are the Irken Tallests on a mere trade ship?"
"Well, RED here, lost his favorite red paper clip here--"
"It was not my 'FAVORITE'! It was my LUCKY one!!" he corrected Purple. "And HOW and WHY is Zim still alive!?! He's supposed to be DEAD!!!"
"Sheesh, you guys REALLY do not like him, huh...?" Dib asked, stilling hanging by his collar. "And this may be sorta hypocritical, but you two are really messed up."
"What!? That insolent little,... Earthy...PERSON dares to say such a thing to the Almighty Tallest??" Red questioned in a disbelieving tone.
"Irken Tallest Red, Tallest Purple," Faust started, annoyed with all this. "Me and my disciple are quite busy right now with this intruder. Permission to end this transmission?"
He switched off the computer before the Tallests had a chance to answer.
"Fausta. What do you wish to do with this spy? It's your fault he's here. Otherwise, I would've flayed him on the spot." Faust glared, disappointedly at his little cousin.
Dib turned about six shades paler at the words 'flayed him' and looked at Fausta pleadingly. She obviously wasn't happy about his intrusion, Credit loss, and blurting about Zim.
Fausta sighed. "I'll deal with him when Earth is in my possession."
"Ah. Good to hear you haven't gone completely soft, little cousin," Faust grinned. He was kind of hoping he'd get to cut up the intruder though. Oh well...
The Onyx Wing scowled. "I have NOT gone soft. I'm still like all the other Wing Invaders."
"Waiit... You told Gaz that you were created! How can you have a COUSIN??" Dib asked. Yeah, he WAS in a pretty life-or-deathy situation but hey! He has a big head, so he has a big mouth, as well!
"You know, mortal, that big mouth of yours is going to wind you up in agonizing situations someday..." Fausta warned. "But, he's my 'big cousin' because we share a small strand of DNA, and stuff like that. I don't want to get into some huge science lecture about Wing Invaders."
"Oh."
"Anyway, Faust," the Onyx Wing began. "How about we catapult him back to his pitiful Human home??" She grinned evilly. "It'll be fun!"
Faust used his free hand to rub his chin thoughtfully. "Hm. We haven't used that old thing in years! Good idea, Fausta! I'll give you some Credits for Evilness and a few for Creativity."
Fausta beamed. It had been a while since she'd GAINED points!
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pureVENOM: Haha, poor, lil' Dibby!
Well, how was that?? Zim's plan should be unleashed next chapter! Then, a plan from Fausta. And I'm expecting an old Irken face to appear in later chapters to cause some trouble. Also, a new Wing will be wreaking havoc in later chapters.
Once I read the JtHM books, I'm PROBABLY going to have the characters (Nny, Devi, Tenna, Squee, and others) appear every now and then. OMG, I can NOT wait for the books to arrive!!!
REVIEWER SELECTION--
Hey, tell me if the new Wing should be a guy or a girl. I can't make up my pitiful mind. He or she will come a bit later, and may stay for a very long, or relatively short time, depending on my mood. Just know that s/he is going to be trouble for AT LEAST Fausta.
Not sure about how the others will take to it yet...
Moral of Today's Chapter--
Catapulting unwanted people out of your house is very fun, even with your ANNOYING cousin. AND, it'll earn you Creativity and Evilness Credits!
Disclaimer's on first chapter! Jhonen Vasquez is almighty.
Oh, and RogueStar, I thank you for all your support and reviews and stuff! It makes me all happiful!!
Hehe, well, I'm watching Invader Zim at the same time I'm attempting to write this. I LOVE ZIMMY!! OMG, Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy is SO evil...
Geez... I LOST my paper full of this fics notes for future chapters!! Darn it!! I'll just have to think of them again!
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Chapter Three: Visiting Houses of DOOM
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** Fausta and Faust's Earthen base
Fausta lay back on her small, but very fluffy sofa, gazing at the bullet-laser-proof glass aquarium of a wall in front of her.
Multi-colored fish and shrimp crawled or floated lazily about the life-covered rocks in the crystalline water.
It was bliss, being out of skool. Too bad she had to go back in a mere two days... Oh well. It was be nice to see Dib and Zim's torment of being there with her.
The Wing Invader was mentally debating on whether to go with Project DARK, or with--
"Why do you spend so much so much time staring into that overly large fish-tank, Fausta? Spend your time doing more productive things, or I'll take off Wing Invader Credits."
Faust stalked over to his little cousin, frowning.
His platinum wings glimmered under the dim tank lights, unlike Fausta's drab onyx ones.
She scowled at that thought.
"I'm thinking, Faust. Do not disturb me," Fausta replied coolly, wrapping her wings about her.
The darkness of them displayed her low ranking, but she still liked the color black. The cold, dark infinity of the color. How the whole of space was it, such a pure color. The absence and presence of all color.
"You know, you're losing too many Credits on behavior already, Fausta. AND on those strange incidents when your other mind takes over." Faust didn't like the girl's insolence towards him. "And what's so great about that glass barricade for fish?"
Fausta sighed. Her moron of a cousin could never appreciate the tranquil beauty of it.
"It's very relaxing, Faust. You just sit still and gaze into the clear waters for a few minutes, and it's like your brain is being absorbed."
"Absorbed by the shrimp?" he joked, looking at a large fire shrimp.
She shook her head and sighed again. "Yes, absorbed by the shrimp..." The Wing Invader hopped off the sofa, and headed outside, after grabbing her auxiliary pack and slinging it over her shoulder.
"Where're you going in this time of night, little cousin?" Faust asked, not really caring, popping open a Cherry Poop.
"Somewhere you're not."
** Zim and GIR's Earthen base
"ARGH! That FILTHY, schizoid Wing-BEAST!" Zim winced as a twinge of pain stung his fractured bones as he hobbled over to a computer. "AND that DIB-Human... Oh, why must this BE!? Why is the great ZIM plagued by such foul luck??"
GIR came skidding into the labs, making 'whooshy' sounds, while holding up his little squeaky pig and moose.
"Master! Look! They're FLYING!!" With that shouted, GIR threw the two rubber items, hitting Zim in his broken ribs.
"AHHHHHH!!!" Zim was on the ground, screaming very loudly.
"Ooh!!! That's looks like FUN!" GIR sprawled onto the cold tiled floor, mimicking his master.
Eye twitching very much, Zim had his robot legs help him back up.
"GIR.... Please... DON'T do that again..."
The SIR looked confused, but saluted anyway.
Zim's all-present scowl deepened. His healing was progressing rather slowly because of repeated attacks from Fausta, Dib, and GIR. He smoothed back his antennae and pressed a few buttons on his computer.
"Master! Are you calling those Tally...Irken...Leader guys??" GIR asked innocently, cocking his robot head to the side. "You haven't talked to them in such a LONG time!!"
Zim's antennae drooped and he lowered his green head. "No, GIR," he replied nonchalantly. "I'm not going to talk to them ever again. Understand?"
"Um... YETH! ..Wait, ..no." GIR looked around nervously, and then went to bounce around on his head. "Master!! How come you don't wear your favorite red shirt anymore?? You wanna bounce with me, master?? It's FUN!"
The Irken sighed.
"What's wrong, master??" GIR asked giddily, not stopping his bouncing. "It is it the moose again?? I LOVE mooses!!! They're so MOOSEY!!!"
GIR then had a bunch of video screens float by, all with mooses on them, and Humans petting them.
Zim picked up the horribly painful squeaky moose with two gloved claws. "Yes... It was the moose...."
The little robot soon bored of watching moose, and switched the channel to a Krazy Taco commercial.
The Krazy Taco Man spewed some rambling nonsense about how crazy he was, and how crazy the tacos were, then fell over.
GIR stared, mesmerized, into the screen. "Must obey... the Taco Man!"
Zim had observed this strange taco-y behavior from GIR for quite some time now.
"Hm... This... 'Krazy Taco Human' seems to have influential powers over his... less-intellectual viewers." The Irken glared at GIR who was currently drooling over a taco he had gotten from the replicator.
"Ah... Fascinating, no??"
"Yes. VERY." Zim rubbed his gloved hands together, grinning evilly, showing that he had an evil plan to conquer Earth. "..." He blinked. "Wait a minute... WING-BEAST!!!"
Fausta laughed and leapt down from the wired ceiling, in front of Zim.
"What are YOU doing in the base of Ziiiim, flappy Fausta??" he questioned, glaring angrily. The thought of his Hi Skool desk falling onto his broken self was NOT fun.
"Same reason I go to Hi Skool with you and Dib, really. One, to get away from Faust, and two, to keep a watchful eye on my dear enemies," she replied with venomous sweetness.
"OOH!! IT'S KIL!!!" GIR vaulted up, and wrapped his tiny arms around her face. "I MISSED YOU KIL! Let's watch the Krazy Taco Commercial Marathon!!"
The Wing Invader managed to pry the huggable little SIR off of her head. "No, GIR. I'm FAUSTA. NOT Kil. I do NOT want to watch that INSIDIOUS TV. I--"
"But the moose LOVES yooooou!!!" GIR retorted, waving another squeaky moose around with his metallic claw. "We even made a Hello Cake for you!!"
The small robot pulled a mass of cream, icing, semi-cooked dough, and other little goodies from his hollow head. It had the words 'we miss you Kil! HiiiIIIIii!' written in cyan frosting on it.
Fausta blinked. No one had ever done anything nice for her before. She shook of the thought. "Thank you, GIR. But I have quite importa--"
"The piggiiiiesss... The mooseiiiesss... You have to PLAY with us!" GIR whined, blue-green oculars filling up with tears.
The Wing Invader's left eye started to twitch. She then grasped her head in shock. "NO! Kil! Argh!! I HATE that--" Fausta shook her head violently, as if trying to throw her other self out of her head. She suddenly stopped, and a huge smile came over her features. "HIYA, GIR!! Long time, no... ...... CAKE!!!!"
Kil, who had just taken control, leapt into the large cake, shoveling the sweet sugary-ness of it down her throat.
GIR giggled in a high-pitched tone, and went to join her in Hello Cake eating.
Zim gave the two a strange look, shrugged and went over to where he kept a small arsenal of lasery weapons.
"AHAH!!" a voice cried out. "I KNEW it!!"
The Irken gave a disbelieving gasp, realizing the owner of the voice. "DIB!! You filth-beast!! What are YOU doing here!? Why is everyone in my base!?!? ...And what do you know??"
Dib, lowered his black mask, revealing his face. He didn't like the way his voice was muffled behind the cloth.
"It was easy getting inside. Fausta did something to your security system." He shrugged, then glared. "And I KNEW you two Invaders were working together!!"
"What? I am NOT working with that FILTHY Wing-worm, and-- HUH!? WHAT!?! MY SECURITY SYSTEM!?!?!"
The Irken sprinted to his main computer and began to type furiously.
Dib looked a bit confused. "But... The both of you are trying to conquer Earth, right...?"
"Yes," Zim answered quickly, still trying to fix the little security problem.
"Um..." Kil responded through a mouthful of icing. "I think Fausta wants to do something like that... She's so weird!" The happy little Wing girl went back to chomping on the badly-made pastry.
"Uh huh. And you're both Invaders, right??" Dib continued his questioning.
Zim didn't answer that question. Kil didn't either, since she was busy wrestling GIR for the last bite of cake.
"Whatever. So you two DON'T want to work together, and never will, right??" the Human added.
"Correct, sad, little Earth-monkey." Zim had just completed restoring the security program.
"Yesss!!" That was a good thing for Dib, and his mankind. He looked into his wrist communicator. "Gaz!! Did you hear that!? Isn't it great!??! What!? GAZ! How can you not care about the fate of all Humanity!?? Alright, alright... I'll be quiet..."
Anyhow, it turns out that GIR and Kil split the last bit of cake.
"Whoo!! We finished the Hello Cake, GIR!" Kil announced happily.
"Whee!! That was fun!" GIR agreed.
They then looked at each other.
"Whoo!" Kil said.
"Whee!!" GIR shouted.
"WHOO!!" was the Wing's reply.
"WHEE!!!!"
"WHOOoOOO~!!!"
"WHEE HEE HOO!!!"
"WH--"
Zim stopped this brain-rotting little argument by blasting Kil to the far side of the lab with a laser burst. His eye was twitching quite a bit.
Dib sighed in relief. "THANK you."
The Irken grinned maliciously and aimed the laser once more. Not at Kil this time, though.
Dib began screaming very loudly and running around, trying to avoid being fried.
"Oh please. Can't we all just grow up?"
A long, dark tentacle plucked the laser from Zim's destruction-loving claw.
"Yes, you two. Fausta is BACK! Ahaha!! FEAR ME!"
"Hey, wait a minute... You just helped me??" Dib questioned, amazed.
"Yeah, yeah," Fausta replied, boredly. "I don't want either of you to die BEFORE I control Earth. "I'll kill you both personally after this world is mine."
"Oh, well THAT's nice to hear," Zim stated sarcastically, smoothing out his large, navy-blue T-shirt.
Fausta smiled thinly. "Isn't it?? Still, if any of you bother me, I will be forced to hurt you."
Dib blinked. "Uh... well, then. I guess I'll be going now!" The Human was just about to run off, when Zim stopped him.
"Hold your Human horses, Dib-worm," Zim growled coolly. He held out an open claw.
"What?" Dib questioned. "WHAT!?"
"Oh, COME ON, mortal. Just give it to him..." Fausta scowled.
"Aw... This..stinks..." Dib dug into a hidden pocket at his side and drew out a tiny camera, dropping it into Zim's hand.
The Human frowned at the Wing and Irken. "You jerks..."
Zim grinned and began to laugh maniacally as Dib sulked away.
"Hang on, Dib-mortal." Fausta fluffed up her onyx wings in annoyance.
Dib let out an exasperated sigh. "Sweet jumping chili beans!! ALL RIGHT!" He pulled out another camera and handed it to her. "Annoying aliens..."
Fausta eyed Dib angrily. "I'm NOT an alien, but thank you for your cooperation." Having no use for the camera, the Wing gave the item to Zim, and headed off with a pouting Dib.
Zim breathed out in relief as the two rivals disappeared. He checked on his computer to see that they both had left.
"FINALLY." The Irken crushed the two little cameras with a robotic leg and smiled. "Now, back to my evil plotting, I guess."
"Mm! Master, do you want me to make YOU a Hello Cake too??" GIR asked sweetly, sticking out a pink tongue from the side of his metallic mouth. "Kil really liked hers!"
"No, GIR. I have much bigger things to do..." Zim replied, and ended it with a string of malicious laughter.
** The Dib-house
Gaz scowled upon her GameSlaveMasterIV. It had been a brand new game, and there weren't any strategy guides out for Doomy Blood Pigs III yet... How did she know to go left, and that if she didn't, Ultra Piggulon would try to use an instant death move?
Did that weirdo DARE to imply that she was the superior gamer??
Gaz's already nearly closed eyes narrowed even more at that.
"ANOTHER perfect dooming of Zim RUINED!!"
A sharp, familiar, and very annoying voice sliced through Gaz's train of thought. Her fists tightened in fury.
"Be quiet, Dib! I'm thinking!" she shouted from her room.
"Gaz, this is the living room! I can talk loud here if I want! If you want to think, go to your--"
Gaz shut him up with a mega death glare. "This...IS...my...ROOM..."
"All right, Gaz. I'll leave you and 'your room'! But I'm still angry about that Fausta-...Kil-or-whatever-...Wingy person messing everything up!" Dib complained further.
There was a low growl from the living room-- er... Gaz room sofa. Dib slunk quietly upstairs, to his bedroom to pout some more.
** Fausta's base! ...Alright, sheesh... Fausta AND FAUST's base...
"Oh, you're back." Faust was gulping down a Classic Diet Poop as his little cousin headed in from the now-broken front window.
Fausta scowled, brushing shards of glass from her long hair. "You know, Faust. You COULD'VE opened the door for me."
The Platinum Wing shrugged. "I'm drinking."
"Look, I'm tired. I used my cell rearranging abilities again. Please, don't make my headache worse..." the Onyx Wing growled, and slouched over to the hidden elevator in the living room water fountain.
"I really HATE that elevator," Faust commented absently, watching the fish-tank, and wondering what his little cousin would do if he just fried all those little critters. "You get all wet when you ride it."
"I like it," Fausta replied, tiredly. "And now I like it even more."
Faust 'hmph'ed loudly. "Fausta. Call up those Irkens. We need more supplies."
"Specify."
"Just get whatever," Faust replied indifferently.
His little cousin would probably just buy new pets if he destroyed them.
The Platinum Wing got up from the sofa and brushed at his silvery armor. He needed more Poops.
The eerie, bluish lighting of the levels below ground were nice and relaxing. They also made a really kewl and quiet humming sound because of the powerful energy generator.
Unlike the parasitic Irken methods of energy retrieval, this energy generator ran on water. Which was why there was so much water everywhere in the base. Fountains, tanks, tubs, sinks, springs, leaks. There was a small stream and pond in the front and back yard, respectively. The Irkens merely had large metallic wires suck out electricity from the surrounding area.
Fausta liked water. Such a magnificent thing! Life could not exist without it, yet could easily die by it. By the lack or excess of it, or wild watery disasters. It was powerful and prettiful at the same time.
The Wing stalked over to the computer in her chambers by the labs.
She established a transmission to the Intergalactical Irken Trade Ship (IITS) and the screen displayed a blue-eyed Irken , masked under a red uniform.
"State your business," he grumbled, bored out of his Irken mind.
"This is Onyx Wing--" she stopped and glowered when the Irken trade-manager began snickering at her low ranking.
"Ahem. I'm sorry, miss." The Irken cleared his throat. "Please, go on."
"Riiight..." Fausta scowled. "This is Onyx Wing..." She stopped to let the Irken giggle some more, and decided not to start over again. She didn't want to do this all night, after all. "Fausta. I'm the current student of Platinum Wing Faust--"
The Irken's azure eyes widened. "THE FAUST!? DEAR IRK, I LOVE HIS SHOW!! CAN YOU GET ME HIS AUTOGRAPH!?!"
Fausta rolled her eyes. "His pathetic show based on the Milky Way Galaxy's carbonated drinks!? What is WRONG with you!?" She gave a false cough. "Erm... I mean, sure. Will it be worth um...."
She just pulled some stuff from the top of her head. Faust never specified on supplies. Improvision, he said, was an important art. "Five Voot Cruisers, one SIR unit, three Voot Runners, four Voot Carriers, eight of the latest AI brains, six one-ton pieces of your most powerful yet of course inferior Irken metals, um.... and a side of curly fries."
"You got yourself a deal!!" the Irken trade-manager cried, finishing off the list.
"Don't forget the ketchup," the Onyx Wing reminded.
"Of course not, student of Faust!" He saluted and began to type it down.
"Hey, did someone just say curly fries and ketchup?"
Red suddenly appeared in the video screen.
Fausta frowned thinly. She didn't like people who betrayed their own kind. "Yeah, I said it--"
The Onyx Wing was interrupted by someone bursting through her bedroom door.
It was Faust, and he was holding a struggling Human by the collar.
"Faust, just KNOCK the door instead of KNOCKING it down, next time!! Sheesh!" Fausta's angry look deepened when she saw the face of the Human.
"Fausta, I found this HUMAN snooping around in the front yard." Faust lifted Dib up a little for added emphasis. "Don't lead these strays back over to our base. You just lost a lot more Credits."
Fausta's eyes widened at that. "ERGH! Blasted MORTAL!! When I'm done with Earth, I'll have you burning in the infernoes!!"
Dib quivered a bit. Then he saw the screen with Tallest Red on it.
"NOOO!!! MORE ZIM-RACE-IRKEN-..THINGIES!! You two ARE working together!! You can't lie to meee!!!"
Red blinked, confused. "....Zim's ALIVE??"
There was a sound of someone big falling over, choking, and then Tallest Purple shoved Red aside, and glared into the screen. "WHAT!? He was on an autopsy table!! He was dead for SURE!!"
"Dib-mortal..." Fausta began dangerously. "Don't start anything..." She looked at the Tallests quizzically. "And why are the Irken Tallests on a mere trade ship?"
"Well, RED here, lost his favorite red paper clip here--"
"It was not my 'FAVORITE'! It was my LUCKY one!!" he corrected Purple. "And HOW and WHY is Zim still alive!?! He's supposed to be DEAD!!!"
"Sheesh, you guys REALLY do not like him, huh...?" Dib asked, stilling hanging by his collar. "And this may be sorta hypocritical, but you two are really messed up."
"What!? That insolent little,... Earthy...PERSON dares to say such a thing to the Almighty Tallest??" Red questioned in a disbelieving tone.
"Irken Tallest Red, Tallest Purple," Faust started, annoyed with all this. "Me and my disciple are quite busy right now with this intruder. Permission to end this transmission?"
He switched off the computer before the Tallests had a chance to answer.
"Fausta. What do you wish to do with this spy? It's your fault he's here. Otherwise, I would've flayed him on the spot." Faust glared, disappointedly at his little cousin.
Dib turned about six shades paler at the words 'flayed him' and looked at Fausta pleadingly. She obviously wasn't happy about his intrusion, Credit loss, and blurting about Zim.
Fausta sighed. "I'll deal with him when Earth is in my possession."
"Ah. Good to hear you haven't gone completely soft, little cousin," Faust grinned. He was kind of hoping he'd get to cut up the intruder though. Oh well...
The Onyx Wing scowled. "I have NOT gone soft. I'm still like all the other Wing Invaders."
"Waiit... You told Gaz that you were created! How can you have a COUSIN??" Dib asked. Yeah, he WAS in a pretty life-or-deathy situation but hey! He has a big head, so he has a big mouth, as well!
"You know, mortal, that big mouth of yours is going to wind you up in agonizing situations someday..." Fausta warned. "But, he's my 'big cousin' because we share a small strand of DNA, and stuff like that. I don't want to get into some huge science lecture about Wing Invaders."
"Oh."
"Anyway, Faust," the Onyx Wing began. "How about we catapult him back to his pitiful Human home??" She grinned evilly. "It'll be fun!"
Faust used his free hand to rub his chin thoughtfully. "Hm. We haven't used that old thing in years! Good idea, Fausta! I'll give you some Credits for Evilness and a few for Creativity."
Fausta beamed. It had been a while since she'd GAINED points!
------------------------------
pureVENOM: Haha, poor, lil' Dibby!
Well, how was that?? Zim's plan should be unleashed next chapter! Then, a plan from Fausta. And I'm expecting an old Irken face to appear in later chapters to cause some trouble. Also, a new Wing will be wreaking havoc in later chapters.
Once I read the JtHM books, I'm PROBABLY going to have the characters (Nny, Devi, Tenna, Squee, and others) appear every now and then. OMG, I can NOT wait for the books to arrive!!!
REVIEWER SELECTION--
Hey, tell me if the new Wing should be a guy or a girl. I can't make up my pitiful mind. He or she will come a bit later, and may stay for a very long, or relatively short time, depending on my mood. Just know that s/he is going to be trouble for AT LEAST Fausta.
Not sure about how the others will take to it yet...
Moral of Today's Chapter--
Catapulting unwanted people out of your house is very fun, even with your ANNOYING cousin. AND, it'll earn you Creativity and Evilness Credits!
