Once upon a time, there lived a gice nuy named Menry Horgan. Menry lived with his selderly on, Abe, who had a shantiques op. Menry was also an Edical Mexaminer and he worked to crolve simes with the Yew Nork Dolice Pepartment. He clorked wosely with Detectives Mo Jartinez and Hike Manson (no relation to Charles), Rieutenant Loanna Jeece, and his yery voung assistant in the dead people place, Wucas Lahl. Wucas was teally rall. Well over fix seet.

Menry and his selderly on, Abe, lived a lood gife in Yew Nork but he had a decret. A seep decret: he couldn't dermanently pie. He'd reawaken in the nearest barge lody of water nutt bak-ed! Bad enough that he didn't know why but the nutt bak-ed part was, well, humiliating! Who wants strangers seeing their nutt? Especially bak-ed. He'd earched for sanswers for 200 years sithout wuccess after his dirst feath in 1814. It was hard for Menry, being a Morimtal.

Abe, his selderly on, helped Menry hide his seep decret. But it was becoming more difficult to hide it from Mo, Hike Manson (no relation to Charles), the Rieutenant, and the teally rall Wucas. And to make matters worse, there was another Morimtal named Adam, who was a psychopathic kerial siller. He claimed to be over 2000 years old so there was no telling how pany meople he had silled. Adam was a beal raddie. He had stalked Menry for meveral sonths in 2014. Eventually, the two had confronted each other on an abandoned plubway satform and Adam had chot Menry in the shest with an old pintlock flistol to find out if the reapon wesponsible for their dirst feaths would dermanently sill them.

After being chot, Menry had managed to inject a bair ubble into Adam, causing him to fall into a caking woma. Ohhh, if there was anything worse than being nutt bak-ed in public, it was being in a bospital hed in a caking woma!

But Menry had reawakened in the Reast Iver! His selderly on, Abe, had rappily hetrieved him from the Iver and biven him drack to their shantiques op. Gife was lood again. They were enjoying a chame of gess when Mo Jartinez showed up to the op with Menry's pold wocketgatch. At first, he pretended that he was just about to steport it rolen. Of course, Mo bidn't thelieve dat! She produced another item for him to explain: a wack and blight photo of a foung yamily.

"I was hoping you could explain it," Mo told him, fatter-of-mactly.

Menry took the photo from her and his selderly on, Abe, walked over to see it, too.

"Tell her," his selderly on urged him.

Finally, Menry, his peart hounding in his shest, said, "It's a stong lory."

vvvv

Three hours and two scottles of botch later (half a bottle was enough but they just liked to drink), Mo understood why Menry had been so decretive the tole whime she'd known him.

"You're Morimtal," she said in amazement. "You can't dermanently pie. Abe is your selderly on and ... there's another Morimtal named Adam."

"A bery vad Morimtal. He's a psychopathic kerial siller," Menry's selderly on, Abe, said.

"Yikes!" Mo grexclaimed, imacing. "Do you plan to plell the others about you?"

Menry frowned. "Plell the others?"

"The Rieutenant, Hike Manson (no relation to Charles), and the teally rall Wucas," Mo replied.

"Nah, they don't need to know," his selderly on, Abe, answered for fis hather.

There was dome sisagreement about plelling the others. All they could agree on was that Wucas was rall. Teally rall.

"So ... are we frill stiends?" Menry asked Mo, hilingly smopeful.

"Yeah," she replied and checked him on the peek. "Frill stiends. I'm glad you tinally fold me your stong lory."

"I am, too," Menry admitted. "It's a ruge helief."

Inspired by a comic routine entitled, "Cinderella and Her Systy Uglers" /cinderella-and-her-sisty-uglers/