The Ebon Hawk hummed quietly as Atton unlocked his footlocker. He held his new security spike, examining it to be certain it had not been tampered with since he stole it on Tattooine. He admired it with an intensely lustful stare.

"That Rodian slug doesn't know how useful you are, does he? You're going to make someone very hap-"

"Who the hell are you talking to," Mandalore asked with an impatient strain on his voice. "Shouldn't you be charting our course for Nar Shadaa? Don't you have some cheap Bothan hooker to disappoint?"

"Siths blood! I didn't hear your old hips grinding with every step on your way in here. Did you finally get tired of being the slowest draw on the ship and get those implants I was talking about?"

"A Mandalorian would never augment his body with that unnatural trash. Moderate use of stims are enough to make us the greatest warriors in the galaxy. If you dare talk to me like that again, I'll show you how quick I am to the draw."

"Greatest warriors? Ha! You really are getting old, because If I remember correctly, you lost, big time."

Unknown to Atton and Mandalore, the Ebon Hawk's resident T3 droid stood, trying his best to be disguised as a plasteel container while recording the entire quarrel. When the violence was soon to erupt, he would let out a piercing howl that would certainly stun the two belligerents.

"We were outnumbered ten-to-one and we still made the entire galaxy tremble in our wake. I would have made you my slave and worked you to death like the dog you are."

"You disgusting Mandalorian scum, I'll kill you right here where you-"

"BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEP"

"Agh!" Mandalore grunted as he holstered his blaster pistol.

"Ohh, ohh my stars!" Atton groaned as he sunk down onto the floor, writhing in apparent pain.

"You really are a weakling, get up. We need to get back to business."

Atton was purposefully slow to rise. It wasn't the first time he and another crew member on the Hawk had been at each other's throats. On every occasion, the sly little T3 unit would scream at them and zip away to do some repairs on the ship.

"I swear one day...I'm going to get that T3 unit. Mark my words."

Mandalore just looked at Atton, puzzled and even more irritated than before. Meanwhile, Atton pocketed his new spike and lurked after the T3 unit.

"Where you going buddy? Atton's got a plating upgrade for you that I'm sure will tickle your circuits!"

"Beep, beep"

"Oh there you are! Upgrading the hyperdrive are we?"

"Beep, beep beep? Beep!"

"Oh, you know how I feel when you do that piercing howl. Why do you insist on doing this to me? You know I can't handle it anymore!"

"Beep?"

Atton slowly pulled out his new spike, revealing it to the alarmed astromech droid.

"Beep! Beep! Beep? Beep!"

"I swore to you, if you ever did that again, I would punish you, dearly."

"BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!"

Atton jumped on top of the droid, jabbing him with his spike. The T3 unit let out a gentle purr as it restarted its systems. After a few seconds the T3 unit spun around, facing away from Atton.

"Oh that's right, buddy. You're a bad droid aren't you."

The T3 unit opened its excess oil dispenser and tilted 90 degrees, vibrating slightly. At the same time, Atton began rubbing the stiff bulge emerging in his pants. Atton slowly unbuckled his belt, letting his pants and blasters fall to the ground. The clinking of the metal hitting the floor of the Hawk made the astromech droid eject an ounce of oil onto the floor.

"Oh you're so wet for me." Atton moaned as his bent down to scoop up some of the oil. He rubbed the oil between his fingers, bringing it to his tongue.

"Is that a synthetic blend? You really are a dirty little droid aren't you?"

Atton then rubbed the oil all over his firm balls and erect shaft. The vibrations from the T3 unit quickened as Atton slowly slid his throbbing Gaffi Stick into the droid.

"Oh baby, you're so...hot and so...oily." Atton whispered as he slowly went balls deep in the vibrating droid. Atton moaned shamefully as he mercilessly fucked the unconsenting astromech. "You made me do this," he grunted as he quickened his pace. His short, yet wide phallus scrapped the edges of the oil pipe with every thrust. The astromech responded with a low drone of acknowledgement and resignation, clearly uncapable of resisting Atton's lust.

"I'm so close, are you too baby? Let's kick this into warp speed" Atton said as he flipped a switch on the droid. Immediately, the quiet hum resulting from the low vibrations of the droid turned into a violent rattling. Oil ejected from the droid, spraying Atton all over. His chestnut brown hair was speckled in dark oil and his face darkened as he buried his tongue into the quivering droid.

"BEEEP BEEP BEEP!"

"Yeah, moan for me you little droid-slut."

Then, a familiar sound emerged from the droid.

"BoopBeepBoop. BoopBeepBoop."

"Huh?" Atton said as he pulled his blackened mouth away from the droid.

"No, no, no! This program was supposed to last at least 5 minutes!"

The T3 unit sealed its excess oil valve with a click and slowly spun around. It then began to glow an ominous red while all color faded from Atton's face. The droid began to use its jetpacks to hover above the scene. A low beeping emerged from within the droid as Atton, still on his knees, gazed up at the droid with fearfully. The beeping intensified and a weapon emerged from the right side of the droid, pointed directly at Atton. Atton, now kneeling in his own waste, as well as a puddle of oil, pleaded for mercy from the vengeful droid.

"Please, I'm - It was a joke, buddy! Got you! Come on you can of bolts, don't make me tell Meetra you pointed your blaster at me!"

"Beeepoobobobebeeep" (This isn't a blaster, bitch.)

Before Atton could react, the droid unleashed a torrent of flames from above, igniting the perverted scoundrel in a ball of flames. Atton's screams echoed throughout the Ebon Hawk and the Mos Eisley Hangar. From the left side of the droid, emerged another weapon, spraying a white foam of Carbonite, encasing the poorly endowed scoundrel forever in a tomb of hellfire. With weapons drawn, the crew of the ship rushed to the scene where they saw the effigy of the exposed scoundrel. The crew looked at the droid, then to Atton and back to the droid and back to Atton again. Suddenly, every member of the crew erupted into raucous laughter that rumbled the ship. The T3 unit sped off leaking oil all the way to the cockpit while Meetra chased after it, wiping away tears of laughter alone the way.

Mandalore dragged the carbonite tomb through to the rear of the ship and opened the doors to see a large crowd emerging.

"Everything alright, sir?" Asked a concerned guard.

"Oh everything's fine here, anyone of you a bounty hunter?" Mandalore asked as he scanned the crowd. A few armored men and aliens stepped forward. I'm sure one of you were looking for this little prick for a long time" he said as he kicked the carbonite tomb onto the sand.

From the window of the Hawk, the T3 unit hummed approvingly, watching as a rodian dragged the paralyzed body away.