A/N: Well , I got this idea just earlier today and I had to act on it before it disappeared. Hopefully it'll be as fun typed out as it is in my head ? Haha, I don't know, but we'll see I guess !

Oh, and please remember that this is mostly a parody, so no need for anyone to jump on me. Some stuff is going to NOT be the same as it is in the X-men world.

Characters:

Wolverine - Aiden J. Sharpp

Cyclops - Kasey McQueen

Jean/Phoenix - Alex Manning

Storm - Zena Henson

Gambit - Lance LeBlanc

OC - Jade Torey

The X's in Rehab

Dr. Hank McCoy fought the urge to bite his pencil as he once again read over the profiles of his future patients. Although, after going through them, it was clear that he didn't need to. Their lives had already been made completely public with their notorious escapades and infamous personalites. This one's naked frontside all over every newstation and tabloid, this one's newly released sex video, this one's assault on yet another paparazzi. He sighed. They were to check in this morning. It was hard enough running a drug and alcahol rehablilitation center. Running one for addicted mutants would prove to be quite the challenge.

"Got your work cut out for you this time, huh?" Dr. McCoy looked up to see one of his counselors, Piotr, smiling at him. He couldn't help but smile back as he stood from his chair. The young counselor chuckled as Hank patted him on the shoulder and followed him out of the room.

1: Arrival and Introductions - Aiden Sharpp

Piotr and Marie, his fellow counselor, stood behind the sliding glass doors of the facility as a large black Denali pulled up outside. Marie gasped as a tall male stepped out of the passenger side of the car. His tight shirt showed off his muscles and his dark hair just grazed his shoulders. They both narrowed their eyes as they saw an even larger male circle around from the driver's side.

"I can't believe he didn't tell us Aiden Sharpp was coming." Marie said quietly, as if the man would hear her from the side of the street. Piotr rolled his eyes at the brown headed girl.

"He's a patient, Rogue. You know, a drug addict in this rehabilitation center?"

"So?"

"So get over whatever interest you have in him. I will report you if you start acting inappropriately. We're supposed to be helping them get clean, remember?"

"That jealousy is really ugly on you, Colossus. You need to get a sense of humor."

"You need to get a brain."

"You need to get a life."

"You need to get a breathmint."

"You need to kiss my ass."

"You need to wish for something else, cause that's not gonna happen."

"That's what you said last night too, but look what happened." Rogue smirked.

"Yeah, bite me." Piotr replied.

- - - -

"Still don't get why the hell you brought me to this shitbag." Aiden stood outside of the center with his older brother Derek.

"Because this shit's gone on far enough, A.J." The gargantuan blonde answered. "You were at first but now your on The Soup and Entertainment Tonight every weekend makin' an ass out of yourself. You're gettin smashed every night and going crazy...Trent is threatening to kick you outta the band if you keep acting up.

"Yeah, well you can tell Trent he can bite the bottom half of my --"

"Shut your damn mouth." Derek's voice became harsher, and he suddenly grabbed Aiden up by the collar. "You're here because of you. I brought you here because you're my kid brother." He said dangerously, staring right into his little brother's soul. He shoved him away. "Get the hell inside, I'll come back to visit you whenever."

"Don't bother." He answered bitterly as Derek finally drove off. He stared at his bags and back at the building.

Finally, he stepped inside to be met by two people with clipboards and extremely rehearsed looking smiles.

"Welcome to New Solstice Recovery Center. I'm Piotr, this is M--

"Great, great. Can I smoke in here?" He asked, not even waiting for an answer before lighting up a cigarette he pulled out of his pocket. Piotr and Rogue shared a confused glance, but each bounced back quickly.

"If you'll come with me, I'll show you where you're room will be for the remainder of your stay." Aiden nodded and followed the slightly taller male to the rooming quarters.

- - - -

Hank waited with his legs crossed in his office, he tugged at the collar of his shirt for the third time in a minute. The fabric was horrible against his blue fur. Piotr was supposed to bring in each of the patients after settling them in for one on one sessions. Aiden was the first scheduled to arrive, and the patient that concerned him the most. Not only because of his adamantium skeleton and claws, but for the personality that came paired with them.

Aiden Sharpp was well-known for being the drummer in the band Skirmish Flight. But he was famous for his incredibly short temper and numerous bad-boy antics. His most recent escapade was a drunken rampage that included the total destruction of a hotel room and lobby, public urination, and the assult of a paparazzi. And he had been incarcerated numerous times before for similar charges. DUI's, battery charges, indecent exposure, possesion of narcotics, and public drunkeness were only a few marks that he carried on his record. His manner's were not exactly pleasant either. He cursed and smoked frequently in interviews, made rude comments to any attractive woman he saw, and was well known for flipping camera's off, or sticking his tongue between his fingers when having his picture taken. It would be clear to anyone that his behavior and drug use was the result of some sort of psycological trauma or abuse, but it was going to be quite difficult to drag whatever it was out of him. But not a challenge he was going to give up on.

He perked up slightly when he heard Piotr's voice from further down the hall. Not much later a bewildered looking Aiden Sharpp came through the open doorway.

"Oh, Mr. Sharpp!" Hank stated, beckoning for the other male to sit. "I've been expecting you."

" 's that so." Aiden grumbled. He sat and pulled out another cigarette, this time without even asking permission before lighting it.

"Well, allow me to introduce myself...I am Dr. Henry McCoy. Or Hank McCoy, if you wish. Welcome to treatment." He said with a slight sense of satisfaction.

"Look, bub." Aiden started after blowing out a cloud of smoke. He inhaled deeply and pointed a finger at Hank before he started.

"First: I'm here completely against my will, so you're lucky I needed a vacation. Otherwise I'd be smashin' this place to hell an' back. Second: this ain't the first time I've been to one'a these shitbags so we can skip all the psycho-session bull. I drink, I do meth. And I'm gonna have people smuggle it in here, I don't care how good you're people are. So are we clear?" Dr. Hank leaned back in his seat and smirked.

"Crystal, Mr. Sharpp." He said just before Aiden exited his office. He chuckled to himself.

"That went smoother than expected." He smiled as he waited for his remaining patients to check in.

Ok I know that was terribly short and not too deep but this is a slow ball to start, please tell me what you think of the idea, though. I would honestly appreciate feedback and any critisism you have to offer! Pce.