It was the middle of the night, and Patsy sat bolt right up in bed, her heart pounding in her chest. Looking around the room Patsy felt a sharp pain in her chest, and used her hands to suppress the pain.
Patsy had just woken up from a dream, a reoccurring dream that she'd been having regularly.
Delia.
She'd been dreaming about Delia. Patsy hadn't heard from Delia for years, as they had previously cut all contact, however it never stopped Patsy getting lost away in her thoughts, and wanting to know how Delia was.
Patsy's heart sunk again. Why now? Why after all the heartbreak they both suffered, why was Patsy reliving it all again?
Why Delia?
Unbeknown to Patsy, Delia was really struggling, she had since day one when things ended. But Delia never really said much, she respected that Patsy wasn't ready for a relationship, even though it tore her apart inside. Patsy was absolutely devastated too, but at the time it just wasn't meant to be and they both respected that.
Delia lay wide awake in bed, studying the ceiling. The clock read 3:02, and yet again she was wide awake for the 4th night running. Delia hadn't been getting much sleep, as she kept having really bad nightmares.
Delia couldn't recall the nightmares she was experiencing, but the thought of her sleeping made her feel ill, as she didn't feel safe on her own.
Delia's mind was playing tricks with her, when she closed her eyes she felt like she was paralysed and couldn't move. She could hear a voice in the back of her mind, but every time she thought she'd get closer to it, everything faded away, and she'd wake up alone.
She was really struggling to sleep, and would try to place her mind in a safe place, and that safe place was always with Patsy. Delia squashed her thoughts, Patsy didn't want her anymore surely? They'd shared no contact for a few years, surely Patsy would have moved on?
But Delia didn't care, if it helped her to fall asleep she would imagine herself in Patsy's arms at night, because nothing else felt so safe.
However, Delia would soon regret it when she woke up in the dead of the night, in a pool of her own tears because the reality was Patsy wasn't there, and Delia would then spend the rest of the night convincing herself ways to
make everything okay. Delia just wanted Patsy.
Delia wasn't okay.
Patsy wasn't okay.
Patsy let out a huge sigh in bed, and pushed herself back into her pillows. God damn it Delia, she was at it again. She'd come and go in Patsy's dreams, and would always fade away when the pair came close, so Patsy couldn't even imagine how Delia felt anymore. As soon as Delia went to hug Patsy in a dream, she'd disappear, as Patsy's mind was convincing herself it wasn't true.
Patsy had had enough, all the what ifs? They'd ended things years ago, and she knew she was ready along time ago to resume things, but couldn't cope with the feeling of rejection in case Delia had found someone new.
Patsy had a thought, she could write to her? Send her a letter, just to see how things were? Originally in the beginning, Patsy and Delia would always exchange letters, even though they saw each other everyday. It was another way they could both express feelings towards one another, and the excitement of exchanging letters gave them a buzz feeling that lasted for days.
Patsy then remembered, write to her? Was she mad? Patsy had no recollection of Delia's address, or couldn't recall if she'd moved in the meantime. That thought was wasted.
Another idea came to mind. What about social media, Patsy thought to herself. But how would she react if she searched for Delia, and found that she was with someone else? A wave of jealousy rippled throughout Patsy at the thought.
Ring her? Patsy thought, maybe? Patsy knew her number off by heart, after all the times she'd dialled it when Delia was at work during her lunch break.
Patsy leant over the side of her bed and reached for her phone and pulled it off charge. She could do this, a wave of adrenaline pumped through her veins, and she found herself typing out the digits of Delia's number.
Patsy held the phone in front of her, with Delia's number clearly on the screen. She hesitated for a few moments, as part of her was telling her to stop. Did Patsy need this? Was she considering all the upset she might cause them both?
Not only that, but it was 3 o'clock in the morning, what on earth was she thinking? There was no way Delia would have been awake!
Patsy deleted 4 digits.
5 digits.
6 digits.
Patsy was regretting getting her hopes up.
Suddenly Patsy's phone froze and vibrated vigorously in her hand.
She panicked, and dropped her phone on her chest. Who on earth was ringing her? She looked confused as the number was coming up as unknown.
Patsy answered the call and held it up to her ear. At first she didn't say anything, and there was no response coming from the end of the phone. Patsy cleared her voice, "Hello?" She said with a crackly voice.
A rather confused, but familiar voice responded. "Hello?"
Patsy responded again. "Hello?"
And that's when she heard it.
"Patsy?" She heard, and straight away she could tell who it was by the accent.
"Delia? Is that you?" Patsy questioned sounding even more confused.
"Pats, it's me Delia." Delia whispered.
Pats? She'd referred to her as Pats, Patsy's heart flipped a thousand times, and her voice caught in the back of her throat. She couldn't respond.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have called," Delia blurted out. "I just wanted to check you were there." She whispered shyly.
"Of course I'm here," Patsy cleared her voice again. "I'm just shocked."
"Sorry." Came from Delia.
"Delia, I was typing your number as the phone rang?" Patsy half heartedly laughed, "I didn't expect you to be ringing me at the same time, especially at 3:00 in the morning."
"Sorry." Delia whispered again.
"Sorry?" Patsy questioned. "I'm so glad to hear from you."
Delia remained quiet, she was also shocked that Patsy had answered, she couldn't quite believe it. Delia hadn't even planned a speech or anything to say, as why would anyone be awake at 3:00 in the morning to take a random phone call from someone you haven't heard from in years.
"Delia, I haven't slept," Patsy choked out. "I can't stop thinking about you." She whispered feeling slightly embarrassed.
There was a long pause.
Patsy regretted saying anything, she shouldn't have opened her big mouth, and scared Delia away so quickly.
"Patsy? I want to see you." Delia said in a quiet tone, hoping she hasn't upset Patsy.
Patsy sat in shock, she couldn't quite believe what she was hearing? Was this a dream? She shook her head, no it wasn't. Delia was here, and she wasn't fading away, it was real.
"Deels, I need to see you." Patsy whispered, finally admitting to herself what she needed.
"Please?"
Delia smiled to herself, and held back the tears, Patsy also doing the same.
Few words were exchanged during the phone call at 3:00 in the morning, but the pair agreed to meet and talk things through, as they both needed reassuring.
The end! (Of chapter one)
Thanks for reading! Please follow, or leave any comments for recommendations for the next upcoming chapters where Patsy and Delia meet, or will they? Stay tuned! All mistakes are my own.
