Hey, guys! Yes, I know, I know! I've been gone for ages, but life has been shit and I've had computer issues yet again. That aside, I've written you a pretty hot one-shot that I hope you all like! To my Amor Prohibido readers, we're working on it and so am I on the I didn't know what love was until I met you epilogues. Hopefully, we'll be back with more soon. In the meantime, enjoy this and don't forget to give me your thoughts, even if I don't really deserve it. This is kind of a reflection of my mood or well the first part is.

Lemons be warned and, I don't own VA, duh!

Love is my disease.

Why did Lissa think I could do this? How could she, my best friend in the entire world, the one person who knew me better than Dimitri did think for a second that I could survive him being away? Ok so maybe I was exaggerating a little. After all, she did try to get him off the assignment that would take him away from court indefinitely, but even Vasalissa Dragomir the queen of the moroi world held no sway over Hans Croft, head of the guardian council.

So now, I was here trying to breathe through the anxiety that his absence caused while he had gone to his old Academy in Russia because of a recent attack and shortage of guardians. I was here, trying not to sulk. I was here, trying not to obsess over what he might be doing, how much longer he would be gone.

The problem with that however was try was the operative word, and with every passing day I lost my will. Today I honestly didn't have the energy to drag myself out of the bed. I didn't want to. Hell, I wasn't going to. Today, I was going to be selfish because I was afraid bad things would happen if I wasn't and, I kind of needed this, too.

I ignored my phone, would've turned it off if I wasn't hoping for a call from Dimitri time difference be damned and, locked myself in my apartment. Lissa and my other friends came by a few times, but I ignored them all. In the mood I was in, it was in everyone's best interest if they stayed away. Right now, solitude was the only thing I could stand, solitude and junk food.

At first, I thought they were never going to go away. I figured they would force me out of hiding if only for the second it would take for me to open the door and yell that they fucking left me alone. But eventually, the knocks did stop. The voices faded and so did the ringing of my phone. It buzzed one final time with a message from Lissa saying she understood I needed some space, how she was going to keep everyone away for a while and I knew how to reach her if I needed her. I texted her a quick thanks then I grabbed some food from the kitchen, a bottle of wine and a corkscrew before making my way back to bed.

It might have been a mixture of the ice-cream and alcohol now coursing through my system, or maybe Alicia Keys' singing about love being her disease, I didn't really know, because whatever it was that had set me off now found me curled in on myself, tears streaming down my face.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this crying was irrational, but it was like a dam had burst after the first tear had fallen and now I could not stop. All I could think of was how much I missed him, how much everything seemed to suck without him here, how tired I was because I didn't get to crawl into bed with him and fall asleep in his arms to the steady, soothing sound of his heart beating reassuringly beneath my head. Throw in the fact that I had no idea when he was coming back and I was a bawling, sobbing mess.

…

At some point, I must have fallen asleep. And I was glad because right now my dreams were so much better than my reality. Dimitri was there, his arms around my waist, lips pressing against mine gently at first and then harder, more insistent. My own arms were wrapped around his neck, fingers entangled in his hair, clutching him to me. When his tongue slid out to stroke the seam of my lips, I gasped. His tongue slid inside, tasting and exploring, taking and giving, tangling with mine. I moaned, eyes flying open because of how real this felt.

And, I gasped, a huge grin sliding onto my face, because Dimitri was there, really there, hovering above me, lips swollen from our kissing, eyes dark with carnal intent. A whimper broke from me and then I was kissing him again, my fingers tightening in his hair, my tongue shoving itself into his mouth. He groaned and sucked on it before biting down gently, something that only drove me wild.

I knew we had to talk about his sudden arrival, but right now I didn't want to. All I wanted was him, naked and driving into me until I screamed for more. He looked into my eyes and I knew he got what I was thinking when his eyes grew darker, almost black now. The heat smoldering in their depths went right to my core.

He pulled away from my lips, his eyes studying my face before locking with mine, searching for something. I wasn't sure what he saw, but whatever it was was enough that his eyes softened slightly and my heart flipped. He looked away from my face to the cookies and doughnuts and other junk resting on the tray on the bedside table, but his gaze caught and held the half empty wine bottle and empty glass beside it. He tensed and shit I was in so much trouble.

"You drank all of that?" He asked his accent somehow seaming thicker than I remembered. I nodded and his eyes flared indignantly. "You know now I'm going to have to punish you?" I shrugged nonchalantly, but his words brought something to life within me, stroked something deep in my core that set my body a flame. The low growl at my nonchalance sent liquid heat pooling between my legs.

"What," He said slowly, his hands running up and down my thighs, "Am I going to do with you? How should I punish you?" His hands slid higher, cupped my sex through the thin fabric of my underwear and I gasped.

"So wet baby girl," He purred, his fingers stroking lazily over the dampness that coated my panties. A groan broke out of me, pleasure or plea or both I wasn't sure, but when he took his fingers away taking my panties with them and the cool air came into contact with my oversensitive skin, I could not help bucking my hips.

But Dimitri didn't touch me. No he just sat there, sat there and looked at me, his eyes drinking in everything and somehow having him look at me like that, like I was the only girl in the world, like he'd never seen anyone quite so beautiful, like no one else mattered…well, it riled me up more than if he was touching me.

And then he gripped my hips and flipped me over his knees.

I gasped as he cupped my bare ass, his fingers massaging and squeezing and dear god I could come just from that alone. But then the smack echoed through the room and I bit my lip hard. He smacked me again and again, whispering Russian in my ear and though I had no idea what he was saying, I knew those words were dirty words. I caught the declaration of love and as my heart flipped, my core grew wetter, my juices sliding down my thighs and onto Dimitri's clothes.

His hands were gentle on my butt as he caressed my skin, soothing the sting his palms had inflicted moments before. A moan slipped out and Dimitri purred, gently laying me on my back on the bed.

"Dimitri please," I said not really sure what I was asking for. All I knew was that I needed him to do something or so help me god I was simply going to combust. I didn't need to ask another time as he lifted my legs onto his shoulders and lowered his head.

The first brush of his tongue against my folds had me gasping and bucking my hips in a desperate plea for more. And Dimitri gave it to me, his tongue stroking between my folds stopping to flick my button before dragging down again, circling my entrance. I moaned gripping his hair and bucking my hips as he pushed his tongue into me lapping at my juices. Tightening my hands in his hair, I started rocking my hips against his face, in time with the strokes of his tongue.

I could feel it building, that knot of pleasure in the pit of my belly. I was already on the edge, the room full with the sounds of my moans and pants, the screams of his name and cursing as I rode his tongue. And then it crashed into me, endless waves of pleasure that drew a scream from my lips. Dimitri helped me ride it out, wave after wave and then he was entering me before I even came down from my high.

I lifted my legs, wrapping them around his hips as he pounded into me, his lips attaching themselves to my neck and chest in kisses that left their mark. "You are so beautiful," He said looking into my eyes. I groaned and demanded more.

When release found me again, I clung to Dimitri, dragging my nails down his back and triggering his own release. He murmured my name over and over, his gaze holding mine. When we could breathe normally again, he shifted off me but I moved with him, pressing my face into his chest as his arms wounded around me holding me close. I closed my eyes, the sound of his heart thudding beneath my head soothing me into a peaceful, dreamless sleep, the best I'd had in weeks. Later, we'd talk later.

So, thoughts, guys? You all know how to find me! Again so sorry for the disappearing act, I love you all to the moon and back! Thanks for always sticking with me! You all are the best readers/reviewers a girl could ever ask for!

Review lovelies, give me some motivation to write for my other stories!

XXX

Roza