Author's Note.

Book Four Biz-natches! Deanis is alive and well.

Be prepared, this book is the shortest so far, about seven chapters. Book five is underway though. We're so close, my friends, so close to the conclusion, and yet so far.


Chapter 1 – Stuck between a Berm and a Hard Place

Darkness shifted under Deanis's eyes as pain hit her head in a constant succession of what felt like rapid fire. She moaned unconsciously, hearing voices but not understanding what they were saying. She gripped the hold of a gun in her hands, and moaned again. She coughed, and opened her eyes.

Blue sky stretched above, no tunnels, no lights. She wasn't dead. She wasn't sure if that was a blessing or a curse yet. Something came into her vision.

"Hey guys, she's awake," A familiar, annoying voice said. Private Tucker of Blue team looked down, his golden visor reflecting Deanis's red armor.

"God…" Deanis said, sitting up and holding her helmet, "… Its not here is it?... Christ…"

"Oh Oh Oh!" Said a childish voice, Caboose, "That's Private Cupcake's friend."

"Private Cupcake? You mean Donut right?"

"How's the red?" Another voice, female and dark, came into the conversation.

"Doing fine I guess," Tucker replied, "Still creepy as hell."

Deanis slowly, painfully got up, slinging her pistol while tasting the faded copper in her mouth. The Elite variant was nowhere to be seen. The Blues and their Freelancer were here however. Church, however, wasn't.

"You guys didn't see something around did you?" Deanis asked weakly and painfully.

"Something? Like what? The dead robots or you?" Tucker asked sarcastically, "By the way, nice job."

"On what?"

"Killing all the robots," Tex said, "Certainly a slaughter."

"What? I didn't do this."

"Then what?"

"That thing… The thing that knocked me out must've."

"What thing?"

"I don't know…. A monster or something." She knew that was a bunch of bullshit. She did know what it was that attack her, she just wasn't telling the blues that. Maybe she has been in Red Army too long…

"What. The fuck. Was that." Church voice penetrated the air, and Deanis felt an electrical current near her. A clear sign that an AI was present. She turned her helmet to look, as did the attentions of the other blues. Church stood, white, transparent, helmetless and confused.

"Church?"

"Hey Church!"

"Hey."

"Huh?"

"Isn't anybody gonna ask me, 'What happened to your body, Church?'"

"What happened to your body Church," Deanis, Tex and Tucker said in monotone unison. Caboose instead said, "What happened to some... body... Church?"

"Hell if I know. All I know is, I was sittin' there talkin' to Gary, and-"

"The bomb?" Tex asked.

"No that's Andy, Gary is the computer," Church pointed out.

"Meh, I don't even remember most of your names half the time," Tex leaned on one leg, crossing her arms. Deanis noticed that Tex wasn't really as bulky as herself, though that could probably be consequence of the robot body.

"I know my name! You can ask me, if you forget," Caboose said happily.

"Hey, can we please focus on me?" Church pointed to himself.

"By the way, he's Church."

"Yes, thank you Caboose, she knows."

"He is the mean one."

"Thank you, Caboose." Church's eye was twitching from with held anger.

"See, he is mad. Now he'll just stare at me until I stop talking, then, when he thinks I am done talking, then he will start talking again." Everyone stared at Caboose, and an awkward silence followed.

"...Okay. I was talking to Gary and-" Church said quickly before getting cut off.

"Told you so."

"God Damn It!"

"Classic Church."

"I wonder if a ghost can have an aneurism," Tucker spoke.

"Anyway," Church said through clenched teeth, "I was talking to Gary about the Great Destroyer, who at the time we thought was Tex."

The explanation wasn't really that much, mainly because of the interruptions of Caboose and Tucker. It ended with Deanis and Tex pointing guns at Tucker's head for the near completion of a two-some fantasy.

"You dick head," Said Deanis.

"You're a pig," Said Tex.

"I didn't even get to the part where the sailors show up."

"So what did you see Blue?" Deanis spoke. It was surprising enough that nobody insulted or told her to shut up because she was a Red soldier among Blue soldiers. Talk about low standards.

"Um, it was a really big... thing," Church said awkwardly.

"That's your story?" Tex asked, "You saw a big thing."

"Eh, my story had a big thing in it too," Tucker shrugged, "You just didn't give it time to develop."

"Well I didn't really get a clear look at it," Church said.

"At Tucker's big thing," Caboose confirmed.

"No dumb ass, at the big thing in the base that attacked me. All I know is that it was slimy, and it had lots of teeth."

"Kinky," Tucker said nonchalantly.

"Seriously dude, cut the shit. We've got a situation on our hands."

"Well how did you fight it off?" Tex asked.

"Fight it off? You must have me confused with someone who's brave," Church gave glances at Deanis, "I got the hell outta there."

"Wait a minute," Deanis said, "You left your body behind?"

"I had to get outta there fast. That body was just dead weight."

"You dumb ass, do you have any idea how hard it was to make that thing in the first place? Not to mention all that damage done to it in a short period of time, fuck it could be useless now."

"It was either that or get eaten by that what-ever-it-is," Church snapped.

"At least I had the guts to face it."

"What? Hold it, you encountered it too?"

"Yeah, at least that's what he says," Tucker said, "We found him out cold out here with the robots."

"Her."

"What-ever."

"Look," Church said, "For all I know, it's in there chewin' on my body right now."

"Well," Tex clicked safety off her rifle, "then let's go get this big thing of yours."

"Bow Chicka-bow-wow," Tucker spoke.

"Oh shut up."

"Shut up Tucker," Church warned.

"Did somebody call for a really hairy plumber? Bow-Chicka-bow-wow!"

"Tucker. Shut up."

"I came here to lay some pipe. Bow-Chicka-bow-wow!"

"Tucker!"

"So I hear you got sisters. Bow Chicka- who're twins! -wow wow!"

"Shut up."

"Hey, are you a model or famous actress? Bow-chicka-bow-wow!"

"Shut up."

"Bow Chicka Chicka-"

"Shut up."

"-gow wow Chicka-"

"Shut up."

"-Chicka bow bow chickachickachi bow bow!"

"Shut up!"

Deanis pulled back, spun on her heel, and punched Tucker dead in the face.

"Ow! What the fuck!"

"Next time, do the world a favor, and shut the fuck up."

"Nice," Tex said, looking at a fallen Tucker.

"Speaking of which," Church said, "Where's Red team anyway?"

"Gone," Deanis said, "I volunteered to stay behind and do whatever."

"Oh."

Next thing was the explanation of the plan, which detailed sneaking into the base and either finding the alien or Church's body. The five stood outside the base.

"We haven't seen that alien thing come out, so he's probably still hiding in there," Tucker said.

"Or, eating Church!" Suggested Caboose.

"Alright then," Tex said, "Let's roll."

"Okay..." Church said, "Here we go..."

Nobody moved.
"..Uh, we're not moving," Tucker said.

"Yeah, yeah, okay," Church cleared his throat, if he really had one, "Here we go."

"...We're still not moving."

"Does talking count as moving?" Caboose asked.

"All right, screw it," Tex stepped forward, "You guys get behind me, and stay tight."

"Bow-Chicka-bow-wow."

"Never mind, Tucker's in front."

"Eh, it was worth it."

Tucker went forward into the base, followed by Tex and then Church. Caboose began to follow, but Deanis stopped him.

"Hey Caboose," Deanis said, "Why don't you stay out here? You know, like covering fire or something."

"I don't have any fire."

"Then just wait out here until we need you then," Deanis said calmly and patiently, however difficult it was.

"Oh, okay, I can wait. I like waiting."

"Good." Deanis ran forward and into the base with the others.

The corridors were still dark, though maybe a little ominous this time around. Deanis snuck along side the wall, her pistol in hand and at the ready. So far there weren't any sounds or movement from anything heavy, though she had to admit that she wasn't thrilled about seeing the alien again. Down in the main room, up a ramp and near a hallway, she found the two blues.

"See anything yet?" Deanis asked.

"Nope, nothing," Church replied, "You know, Andy was here when I got attacked. Maybe he knows something."

Church snuck close to what looked like a window.

"Hey. Andy. Andy!"

"Hehehey, look who's back!" the mechanical and sarcastic voice of the bomb yelled, surprising Deanis, "The dickhead!"

"Hey, up yours."

"You back for another beatin'? It must be asskick-o'clock!"

"Where's that big alien thing?"

"I don't know, last time I saw him he was halfway up your ass."

"The Bomb talks?" Deanis asked.

"I see you brought a girl with you. What're you gonna have, a crying contest?"

"At least somebody finally notices…" Deanis muttered.

"Hey look, there's my body, right there," Church pointed at a walkway that lead to Gary the computer. The floor was red with synthetic blood, and the body lied limp against the metal. Deanis wasn't happy about the sight, she was downright sick. She didn't want to consider the option that the blood had soaked through artificial skin and tissue, not to mention armor. If that were the case, then that body is useless and could possibly and permanently kill Church if he tried to reenter it.

Something caught her eye at the end of the hall. She looked, and regretted it. The alien Elite-thing was crouched at the corner, staring directly at them.

"There it is!" Tucker fell back and scrambled away.

"Jesus, run!" Church yelled when he finally noticed. Everyone fired in different directions while trying to get away. Tex appeared.

"What? What's going on?" She turned to find the alien, "Crap!"

Everyone fled and fired. Something that didn't mix well.

"Oh my God oh my God oh my God what the fuck is that thing!"

"Run!"

"Women and children last!"

"Run run run run run run run!"

"Heheh, what, you leavin' already?" Andy called, "That's fuckin' hilarious!"

"Ahhh, run run run run run!" They were still running even outside where Caboose waited.

"Did we win?" Caboose asked.

"Yeah Caboose we won, this is our victory lap!" Tucker replied panicked. Deanis skidded behind, close to Caboose. The alien wasn't following, thank god. But they'd certainly have to deal with it sooner or later. Preparely, sooner.


Trivia.

Berm - A narrow space between a parapet and a ditch.

Yay! Back on track and ready to roll!

...

Lonely...

Read, Review, Whatever.

Chapter 1 - "Between a Berm and a Hard Place."