Disclaimer: I am neither JK Rowling nor Stephanie Meyer. I don't even own half of this.

Warning: Don't bother reading this if you're a Twilight fan. I mean this as a joke, and I'm going to try not to bash it too much, but as I didn't really like the series myself, the characters probably won't come out in the best of lights…


It had reached the early hours of the morning. Harry Potter sat at the table in Grimmauld Place, his quill scratching out the last few sentences of a report for the Auror Office. He pushed his glasses up onto his forehead, trying to rub the tiredness out of his eyes, and then almost fell out of his seat as a voice issued from the fireplace, calling his name.

"Harry. Oi, Harry, get over here!"

Ron Weasley's freckled face was sitting in the fire, giving the illusion that his ginger hair was actually part of the flames. Harry shook his head. He'd spent thirteen years in the wizarding world – how many more would it have to be before he stopped being startled by his friends' sudden appearances from the Floo Network?

"Ron? What's wrong?" he asked, crouching down by the fireplace.

"Can I come through? I just got an owl from the office. You ought to see this."

"OK." Harry stepped backwards and watched his best friend pull his limbs through the grate, until he was standing in front of him. Ron pulled out a sheet of parchment.

"Kingsley told me to show this to you. It's from McGonagall!" He passed the sheet over to Harry, who read:


Dear Aurors Potter and Weasley,

We are currently experiencing a problem in Hogwarts. I would greatly value your help, as I believe the situation has now escalated beyond our control. I feel however that it would be best to explain in person. Please take a Portkey to the school as soon as possible, where I am awaiting your arrival.

Allow me to say only this – Cedric Diggory has returned.

Yours sincerely,
Professor Minerva McGonagall
Headmistress at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry


"Wh- what? Cedric? But he's dead, Voldemort killed him. I was there, I saw it!" Harry exclaimed, starting to pace agitatedly around the room.

"I know, mate, I don't understand this any better than you-" began Ron.

"But he's DEAD!"

"Listen, let's just go and see McGonagall, she'll explain."

Harry looked slightly mutinous, and absentmindedly put his finger to his forehead to trace the outline of his scar, a nervous habit he'd picked up some time during the war. "All right," he conceded eventually.

A few minutes later, they were ready to leave. Harry had had to wake up Ginny to tell her where he was going. She was never at her best when she was sleep-deprived, especially since James, who was just a few months old, was still keeping her and Harry up most nights. Though Harry attempted to get her attention, she had just turned over, mumbled, "Yeah, whatever," into her pillow, and fallen back asleep. When he had tried to wake her up again, her hand had reached across to the beside table, picked up her wand and shot red sparks at him. Even if she was half asleep, Harry was not one to under-estimate his wife's magical skills, in particular her ability to cast the Bat Bogey Hex. He decided to leave her alone.

Back downstairs, Harry grabbed a screwed up piece of parchment, an abandoned draft of his report, and muttered, "Portus", setting it on the table and tapping it with his wand. The parchment glowed slightly, then the light faded, giving no visible sign that it would transport them to Hogwarts at the next touch. "Ready?" he asked Ron.

Ron nodded, and the two of them placed one finger each on the parchment. With a familiar yank behind his navel, Harry was pulled away from the table, his body being twisted through space, until the two of them hit the floor of the Headmistress's office at Hogwarts with a jolt. Harry stumbled forwards, but caught his balance before he fell at Professor McGonagall's feet. Ron had also managed to keep his footing by grabbing hold of a table, and so the two of them turned to face their old Transfiguration teacher, looking around the office as they did so.

"Good evening, Potter, Weasley. I'm glad you could make it," she said briskly, surveying them from behind her desk.

"Good evening, Professor," chorused Harry and Ron together, as though they were still about twelve years old. McGonagall raised her eyebrows, looking amused. Old habits die hard.

"I'd better fill you in," she said. "As you know, Cedric Diggory was killed on Voldemort's orders during the Triwizard Tournament of 1995. However, for reasons currently beyond our knowledge, he appears to have returned. But… he is not the same. I think it would be easiest for me to show you."

Professor McGonagall reached up into a cabinet at the side of the room and removed the stone Pensieve. Placing her wand at her temple, she drew out a long silvery strand that Harry knew to be memory. She put in in the basin, then turned back to Harry and Ron.

"This memory takes place earlier tonight. Feel free to take a look." She gestured towards the Pensieve.

Ron shot Harry a nervous glance; he'd never used a Pensieve before. "Just stick your face in the basin," Harry whispered to him.


He took a deep breath and lowered his head into the silver liquid. He felt his feet leave the ground, and a moment later, he landed in the same room that he had just left. Harry walked over to the desk, where Professor McGonagall was sitting reading through some kind of document. A few seconds later, Ron appeared beside him.

"Blimey, this is strange," said Ron, waving his hand around beneath McGonagall's face.

"Yeah, I know… You'll get used to it soon though."

Suddenly, the Fat Friar, the Hufflepuff ghost, burst through the wall of the office, almost gliding straight through McGonagall's head.

"Professor," he gasped, coming to a halt in mid-air in front of her desk, "I just heard screaming from one of the Hufflepuff dormitories! Please come quickly."

"Of course," she said, already standing up and following him out of the room.

Harry and Ron looked at each other in trepidation, then headed after McGonagall, continuing down the stairs and through the corridors of Hogwarts until they reached a tapestry near the kitchens, where McGonagall stopped. She withdrew her wand from her pocket and quickly tapped out a rhythm on a small picture of a badger in the corner of the tapestry. Harry leaned forwards, watching what she was doing, and then stepped backwards in surprise as the tapestry melted away, revealing a portrait hole similar to the one in Gryffindor Tower. McGonagall climbed through, followed by Harry and Ron, into the Hufflepuff common room. It was laid out rather like a badger's den. There was a large circular room, filled with puffy yellow armchairs and tables, which had passages leading off in all directions, presumably to the dormitories. Harry however barely had time to take this in before his attention was distracted by a group of girls clustered around a sofa, where their friend was sobbing hysterically, her shoulders shaking violently.

"It's all right, Fiona, Professor McGonagall's here now," said one of them, patting her shoulder consolingly.

"Miss West, whatever is the matter?" asked McGonagall urgently, striding forwards to the sofa. Fiona raised her head, revealing pale face.

"I- I woke up, Professor, and there was someone sitting by my bed. I didn't recognise him."

"A man? What sort of man? Is he still there?"

"I don't know! But when I woke up, he j-just said-" Fiona broke off, apparently too disturbed by the memory to continue.

McGonagall waited impatiently for a couple of seconds, then pressed forwards. "What did he say?"

"He l-leaned over me and whispered, 'I like watching you s-s-sleep!' What if he's been there before?" she cried, and was promptly overcome by a fresh wave of tears.

"Miss Davies, Miss Brooks, could you take her to the Hospital Wing and ask Madame Pomfrey to give her something for stress?" The two girls McGonagall had addressed nodded, and led Fiona out of the common room. McGonagall turned to the remaining girls and said grimly, "Now I think I ought to have a look in your dormitory, if you don't mind…"

She started towards one of the passages. Harry was already far ahead of her with Ron hot on his heels, running so fast that in any normal world he would have knocked something over. He did not understand this one bit, and he wanted to get to the bottom of it as soon as possible. This stalker didn't sound like the Cedric Diggory he knew, who was ever the gentleman, and had probably never even tried to enter a girls' dormitory during his time at Hogwarts.

Harry and Ron burst through the end of the passage into a room similar to their own old dormitory, except for the fact that it was on ground level. And the fact that, sitting on a bed, was Cedric Diggory. Or… was it? Harry crept forwards quietly, forgetting in his confusion that he was invisible to everyone around him. This man certainly looked like Cedric, but at the same time there were some noticeable differences. Harry was sure Cedric hadn't been quite that pale, and his hair definitely didn't stick up on end like this person's. Also, he could have sworn that Cedric's eyes had been more or less grey in colour, not this strange shade of amber… And apart from that, Cedric had been several years older than Harry – he definitely shouldn't still look seventeen. With a sudden shock, Harry wondered if he was a ghost. But no, he was most definitely solid. Actually, he was more solid than your average human; he was almost rock-like.

"Bloody hell…" muttered Ron, and Harry nodded fervently.

Suddenly there was a gasp from behind them. "Mr… Mr Diggory?" McGonagall said faintly. Her voice sounded doubtful; clearly she'd noticed the same similarities and differences as Harry had. Cedric raised one hand in greeting and gave her what could only be described as a "crooked smile". This was not something Harry was accustomed to seeing from him either.

"That used to be my name, yes. But call me Edward Cullen. It's far more distinguished, I find," Cedric – Edward – replied. Another shock fizzed through Harry's stomach. Edward Cullen had an American accent! What had happened to Cedric?

"Mr Diggory… Cullen… I don't know what to say. We thought you were dead, what happened?"

"I was inches from death, it's true. But Carlisle saved me. However, I live a half life. I have no soul." Edward gave a dramatic sigh and stared broodingly out of the window.

"Don't be ridiculous, you've studied Dementors - you must know what happens when your soul leaves your body. I can assure you, you would not be talking to me now if that were the case," McGonagall almost snapped, seeming to lose patience very quickly with this new version of Cedric Diggory. Harry had to marvel at her ability to remain her normal self even in the strangest of situations. "And how could you be nearly dead? The Killing Curse is instant."

"Fine, I admit it, I don't actually know what happened… But all the same, look at me! Don't you know what I am? I'm a vampire, a monster. If I hadn't eaten in the Forbidden Forest before I came here, I could drink your blood right now."

McGonagall looked slightly repulsed. "Mr Cullen. I don't know what you're talking about and I'm not sure that I want to know. Allow me to cut to the chase – where have you been all this time? Why are you here?"

"I guess I'd better explain," Edward said in his American drawl. Harry still had to shake himself out of a stunned daze every time he heard it. "After the Triwizard Tournament, I somehow ended up in Forks in the US. Everything's a bit blurry, but eventually I found a family of vampires like me. We're vegetarians, we only eat animals."

"Ah, obviously a new definition of 'vegetarian' of which I was previously unaware…" said McGonagall drily. Edward only gave her a morose look, pouting slightly.

"It's vampire vegetarianism," he explained. "Anyway, while I was in Forks I fell in love with a human girl, Bella, the girl of my dreams. She smelled so good, you wouldn't believe the number of times I nearly bit her when we were kissing…" He trailed off, gazing out of the window in his signature melancholy expression. McGonagall again appeared to be faintly disgusted. Edward continued to speak. "And we got married and had a daughter, and I turned her into a vampire, but then she left me. She promised me forever… I know she was only eighteen when we got married, but I really thought we had a true passion for each other. I decided to come back to Hogwarts, to try to find love here in Hufflepuff. Oh, and I can read minds."

"You're a Legilimens?" asked McGonagall sharply.

"It's such a burden," Edward sighed.

For a moment McGonagall seemed dumbfounded at how much Cedric Diggory, such a nice boy, had changed. Abruptly, she returned to her usual self. "I'm sorry, Mr Cullen," she said, drawing herself up to her full height. "I am afraid I cannot allow you to behave like this around my students. Watching a fifteen year old girl sleep is bordering on paedophilia, whether you look seventeen or not. I am going to have to ask you to leave my school."

"I have nowhere else to go."

"I am willing to accompany you to the Leaky Cauldron in Diagon Alley, if needs must."

Edward seemed to consider this for a moment, and Harry unconsciously leaned in closer, desperate to hear whatever he was about to say. But all at once, Edward sprung from the bed in a catlike motion and leapt out of the window. Harry and Ron both gasped, rushing to see where he was going. Straining his head through the open gap, Harry could just make out Edward's form streaking into the Forbidden Forest. At this, the memory began to fade away, dissolving around them, and Harry felt himself being pulled out of the Pensieve to land in Professor McGonagall's office once more.

"There you have it. Filch has been combing the Forest for him ever since he ran in, but we still haven't found him," she told them.

"Blimey," said Ron shakily. "So you want us to look for him?"

"That is part of what I was hoping you'd do. The thing is, he is more of a concern than that. I don't know how much knowledge you have of vampires, but-"

"He's not a normal one," finished Harry for her. He had crossed the room and was now staring at the portrait of a sleeping Dumbledore on the wall, wishing he would wake up and give him some advice, as he had done so often in the past.

"Precisely," said McGonagall, drawing him back from his thoughts. "We need to find out what Edward Cullen is, how much of a threat he is, and… what happened to Cedric Diggory. And I'm sure I don't need to explain to you why I don't want him in the school." She shuddered.

"Would you like us to start now, or come back tomorrow?" asked Ron in his most professional voice. However, he was betrayed by a large yawn, and McGonagall's lips twitched into something like a smile.

"Get a good night's sleep. I will expect you back here first thing in the morning, if that's possible for you."

"That should be fine. It was nice seeing you, Professor," said Harry.

"You too, Potter. I just hope we can sort this out quickly. The Diggorys aren't going to be happy at all… The least I can do is promise them that we're taking all action possible to sort this out," she said wearily.


Soon Harry was back at Grimmauld Place, and Ron had departed to his and Hermione's house. He crept into bed next to Ginny, and after lying awake for several hours, his mind buzzing with information about Cedric, Edward and vampires, he eventually drifted into an uneasy sleep.

The next morning he awoke abruptly to the sun streaming in through the bedroom window, shaking off the last remnants of a dream in which Professor McGonagall had been sitting at the side of his bed watching him sleep through her suddenly amber-coloured eyes, before morphing into Mad-Eye Moody, an Auror who had died helping to protect Harry. Mad-Eye had shouted at Harry that his vigilance wasn't constant enough and then hit him around the head with his wooden leg while threatening to blow off one of his buttocks. Harry shuddered at the memory and reached up to rub his eyes, promptly forgetting all about it.

"Morning," he mumbled to Ginny, reaching over for his glasses.

"So what was this mysterious Auror business you woke me up for last night?" she said, wasting no time.

Harry blinked and his wife came into focus. She was standing in front of him fully dressed, with her arms folded. She tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for him to start talking. After a slight hesitation, Harry took a deep breath and explained the whole story to her, right from the letter he and Ron had received from McGonagall to Edward Cullen running into the forest in her memory, and the subsequent meeting they had had with their old Transfiguration teacher. By the time he finished speaking, Ginny was open-mouthed with shock, to the extent that it took her a couple of minutes to react to James' cries from the next room.

"So… yeah. That's about it. I'm going back this morning," Harry finished lamely, as they peered into his four month old son's cot.

At a particularly piercing scream from James, Ginny scooped him up, and his wails quickly began to calm into a quiet snuffling noise. The couple walked downstairs with their son and started to make breakfast.

"I can't believe it. Cedric…" Ginny muttered into James' hair, half speaking to herself.

Harry gulped. "Yeah," he said, "That's what I keep thinking… I don't want to hunt down someone who was – well – close to a friend. But he's not really Cedric any more, is he?"

"Is he though? Do you think there's some way to get him back?"

"I don't know…" Harry said, dropping into a chair with his hands over his face, causing James to giggle.

Ginny put one hand on Harry's shoulder, shifting James into her other arm. "If you need any help, you know where to come," she said. "I'm sure Mum would be happy to look after James for a few hours."

"Thanks, Gin. It's Auror stuff though, we'll be all right."

"Don't give me that, Harry James Potter. You know full well that won't stop me from coming to help." Ginny glared at him.

"OK, OK!" Harry held his hands up in mock surrender until, unable to keep his mouth from twitching into a grin, he dissolved into laughter as well.


Author's Note: This was an idea I've had for a little while, but I didn't bother to actually write it until I saw a challenge by Annabeth Lovegood, in which one of the options was to write a Harry Potter and Twilight crossover. It seemed like a good opportunity to actually get this done, and this is the result!

If you see this story and you've read it before, that is because it was originally a long one shot, and I am now going back to divide it into chapters. Because I like chapters. So yeah, I apologise if this has come up as an email alert or something, because it is still almost exactly the same thing as it was before!