I've often considered writing a diary, especially since I have seen so many busy hands and torn pages laid around the inn over the last couple of months. I guess the recent war has brought out the poetic side in people, either that or, more likely, deep down everyone is terrified that amongst the fighting they themselves should be killed, and their story should never be told. However, they are nords, and often keep feelings of fear locked up tight within themselves, especially the men and some of the progressive women.
I don't know how to start this, how do you start a diary telling your life story? I could start from the beginning I guess, or I could start from today and reference back to the relevant parts. I could start with my name, it'd be strange if someone in the future looked back at this and was surprised (hopefully if my writing is as good as I think it is, this will not happen) that I was not a 70 year old man, then again it would make some parts more, well, 'interesting'.
So, my name is Edda, I'm 18 years old and yet to find a husband, something that surprises most people, 'life is short' they say, and marriage wise they are right, most women my age are married or at least promised to someone. I like to think that my excuse is that I'm not ready, truth is I spend so much time working to survive I can't spend long talking, even though I do work at an inn, where many men gravitate towards, I tend to see men at there worst after an hour or so there. I also have the extra problem of being a bosmer, something that some people in Skyrim still find a disgrace, however I understand that not everyone has the same views on the subject, and just as they shouldn't be prejudice towards me, I shouldn't be prejudice towards them. I guess since I've lived here a long, people have either got used to me, or I have got used to how some people look at me. I still keep a dagger in my belt under my dress and one under my pillow, just in case someone gets violent. Then again I think most people do the same.
23rd Evening Star
We had an incident at work today, a small group of adventurers came in, about 4 Nords. They must have been suspect as Elda sent a message to Susanna to tell me to either hide or cover up. We often have this, people come in bragging about their kill, they have a few drinks, sometimes they can be fine, sometimes better than fine, but sometimes things can get aggressive, especially if the person in question has certain views about other races tainting the 'perfection' of Skyrim. Then everything becomes 'the elves' fault, the war, the homelessness, the wolf snapping at them. I followed Eldas advice and released my hair from the string that had been keeping it back, although it was short, it helped cover my ears, I also tried to stay out of the way and not let them see my face. I decided it would be a good time to tidy the bedrooms downstairs and hopefully prepare for guests that night. I find guests who stay over often leave a nice tip, even better if they stay drinking so long they forget that they pay twice as much, or buy drinks for everyone which brings in a nice prophet and makes that tip jug just slightly more shiny. Nils, the cook, and I once came up with a trick, that more often or not works with some of the more ' delusional' patrons, in the morning we will leave a bucket of rotten food or the leftovers from his butchery, mixed in with a bit of ale near the door of the guests room. In the morning they would smell the stench and we would tell them they were sick on the floor while I scrub a spot with a look of disgust, they would often feel so bad they would leave 20 coins for a tip.
Anyway, as I was saying, the new patrons were drinking, singing ('Ragnar The Red' appeared to be their favourite) and harassing Susanna, something she never seemed bothered about, after all she is a waitress and a very beautiful one, I believe after doing the job for so long she'd know how to handle herself if things go too far, I've seen her hit someone with a spoon so hard they had a bruise on their face for 3 days. After the rooms had reached perfection I thought I'd try and dodge the party animals and help in the kitchen, where Nils asked if I could go and fetch some more wood, since I couldn't exactly serve drinks I went out to fetch some from the pile outside. Just when I thought I'd got as much as I could carry I kicked open the door and wandered in, my hair must have been caught behind my ear or one of them must have seen my face because as soon as I put the wood down, I heard "You've got a shittin' elf 'ere!" Elda tried to calm him, "Calm down, gentlemen. She's lived here in Skyrim since she was a baby and is no trou.." "I dont bloody give a shit! That whore is living in our land, eating our food dri.." "GET OUT! The lot of ya! Before I call the guards!" "FINE! Fuck you, and fuck you." The man indicated to me and then to Elda before slamming his drink down and leaving, glaring at us while he left. In a matter of seconds the bar had gone back to its joyous self, full of laughing and talking. That night I'd finished quite late and needed to take out some of the leftovers to a homeless woman who wandered the area, we did this most nights and she always seemed grateful, which was nice to see. I told her about the incident and she comforted me saying how she seen a lot of bad things in the world and she thinks that the people who hate, are people who have a guilty conscience. I thought about the bearded men from years ago, and if the woman was right, it made a lot of sense what they did. I returned to the inn and found one of the rooms was empty, I took the opportunity and slept in it myself, as I've done.
25th Evening Star
The effects of the winter was hitting us hard today, we had to bring in twice as much wood from outside for the fire just to keep the room at its usual cosy temperature. The stalls at the market had closed for the day, leaving empty tables around the quarter and the forge extinguished with a leather sheet covering it, to stop the fuel from getting wet presumably. This could only mean good news for business, as everyone had flocked to Candlehearth, even some of the dunmer from the Grey Quarter had joined us, this often happened in the colder months as Candlehearth was better sheltered from the cold and kept people warm, especially considering 'The Cornerclubs' problems with the structure.
Jarl Ulfric should really have the Grey Quarter fixed up. I've experienced first hand the state of some of the homes there and especially in the colder months the freezing air really blows through, it doesn't help that every few days a house gets broken into. Then again I can't complain about it, especially considering what happened to me when I moved out of my childhood home, at least we were safe there from the cruelty of the world which I grew to know too well.
The mead was constantly running and the food was jumping from cabinet to pots to plates quicker than a skeever in a barnyard. It was 'all hands on deck' with service, with everyone running around with jugs and plates desperately trying to keep everyone satisfied. We even recruited Silda, the beggar we provide food for, to help washing dishes in exchange for a room and a hot meal once the crowds had shrunk. Overall everyone seemed merry, the elves, the argonians from the docks and the nords all seemed to be getting along, the cold and the drink clearly made a welcoming combination.
Later in the evening a few guards entered who were coming off their shift, even though a few had certain views towards my people that I frowned upon, I admired their bravery and dedication to the protection of us all. With the war, soldiers had been coming and going, changing and returning, this will be due to the several posts that have started appearing across Skyrim and the increased number of men and women who had taken the Stormcloak Oath. Clearly someone had taken the oath that day because a group entered in their uniforms, laughing and patting one of the members on the back, hugging and scruffing up the young boys hair. It was nice to see them all embrace one another, the bond among fighters in a regiment is one of the strongest I have seen, and maybe one day I too will gain such a relationship.
It was 2 o'clock in the morning and we were supposed to have closed ages ago, but with the business doing so well, we couldn't pass up the opportunity to real in some more cash, by the divines we needed it. Elda gave Susanna and I the signal and we both stood on a couple of tables upstairs, "LAST ORDERS!" we shouted and grabbed a few empty flagons from the tables and took them back to the kitchens. The patrons grumbled and slowly they stood up, sorted out their clothes and headed out of the door. Susanna threw on a cape and left with Alfarinn, a carriage driver who's 'base' is here in Windhelm.
Although Alfarinn isn't exactly the most wealthy of people, he still had more money then it appears. He travels all around Skyrim, or so they say, I never knew the man on a personal level. Apparently he knew more secrets then he lets on. It wouldn't surprise me, rich men pay for use of his carriage and go on sometimes days long journeys, the passengers must wag their tongue while on the road. I bet he's seen a lot of great things though, the great stone buildings of Markarth, the college in Winterhold, I would like to visit Solitude some day, but I probably wouldn't want to go while the Imperials are flooding it, I know too many good men who have been killed by those invaders, good kind men, and it breaks my heart to know that without a doubt someone from the inn tonight would fall because of their attacks.
Susanna seemed to like Alfarinn, or at least be intrigued by his tales. I love Susanna dearly and even though some of the stories about her are true, I don't like how they call her a whore. Without a doubt, I, Elda and Nils knew what was going to happen, it happens at least once while Alfarinn is in town, he will slip her some coin, and she will make him feel loved and keep him warm in these cold winter nights. Times are hard for all of us, and she knows what she is doing, if she feels happy and comfortable with herself, then I am happy for her, I just hope she comes home safe tonight.
26th Evening Star
About 4 in the morning Susanna came running into the kitchen area where I had set up a cosy sleeping area due to all rooms being taken. She was pail as the snow shed been running through and breathing so heavily I thought she was going to faint. She hurried over to me and flung her arms around me while she cried into my shoulder, I covered her with my blanket and tried to comfort her.
"I'll make you a hot drink sweety and then we can talk about this" I walked over to the kettle by the fire and poured her some herbal tea, taking it back to her where she still looked startled but more comfortable now at least. "So, what happened?" I sat beside her and tried to reassure the poor girl.
"Well" She sniffed "I was walking back from the stables after Alfarrin had gone to sleep, on the way back I thought I'd go to the quarter and make sure our wood supply was sheltered, on my way back, I thought I heard someone following me, so I sped up, you know?Then they did and I ran for the front door here but it was locked and I just heard them chasing me so I ran to the back and bumped in to the new guard, when I turned around, they were gone." She took a large sip from her mug and looked at me with her tear stained eyes. "El" What she affectionately called me, "I think I may have been targeted, I think it might have been the Butcher." I'm not going to lie, the thought had crossed my mind when hearing the story that it was 'The Butcher' who had been pursuing her tonight. She suits the other victims, a healthy young woman, then again that doesn't narrow down the list.
'The Butcher' has so far killed three women now, and the authority still has no clue about his (or her) identity. Some people think its a Dunmer or an Argonian who wants revenge for the way they're treated here, so they take it out on innocent citizens, some say its someone with a fetish, as all victims were supposedly found naked, whoever they are, I just hope they catch him soon. Whatever my thoughts were, I couldn't tell Susanna that she was infact being chased by a maniac.
"I'm sure it wasn't him, it was probably someone drunk trying to talk to you, a thief at worst. I'm sure you'll be fine, just maybe, not go out at night anymore, just to be safe." I smiled at her and stroked her shoulder.
"I hope you're right El, and don't worry, I won't be going out by myself for a while. Dammit if that by wants to see me he'll have to come here!" We laughed and she put down her empty mug. "El, do you mind if I sleep with you? I don't want to be by myself tonight." I gave her a smile and a nod, and we both slept under the blanket in the warm comfort of the kitchen.
5th Morning Star
I haven't written in here in a while, but you can't expect me to dedicate my life to writing a diary! Gosh, I mean, I do have other things to do you know! Pfft look at me, trying to explain myself to a book, if you can even call it that, its not like it's the most thrilling story ever told, maybe one day it will be, but not today. If I somehow got lots of money and was big and strong, I could be an adventurer like they have in the stories.
You know? I could do it! I could sneak out at night and steal some armour and a nice sword from the blacksmith, grab a horse and run off into my new life!…I'm not going too though, don't have enough money for food, I'd be terrible at stealing horses, as I've not ridden one in years and the guards would probably be alarmed by the loud thud of me falling off. As I was saying, maybe some day, but not yet.
Susanna is still on her toes about the Butcher situation, she's stuck to her word and not ventured outside alone unless a man is with her, whoever the Butcher might be, if he is targeting her, he must be growing impatient. When she's working, we see her eye up the customers sometimes, she looks like she is trying to figure out who the killer could be, sometimes if she is staring too much one of us will give her a nudge.
At the end of the day though, just as it was starting to get dark, she told Elda that she would be going out, of course we were all concerned, I pulled her aside and asked her what she was thinking.
"I can't go on like this! For all we know that man chasing me wasn't a killer, I can't spend the rest of my life being too terrified to leave the building. I've made a decision." She pulled out a couple of daggers from her dress and replaced them.
"You can't, this is stu.."
"Stupid? Probably, still, I've decided. I', sure I'll be fine and don't worry, I'll be back before you know it, I'll go down to the Cornerclub for a couple of drinks and be back in time for the morning." I couldn't convince her to stay, before she left she kissed an Amulet Of Dibella around her neck and left without another word.
For the rest of the night I couldn't stop thinking about Su, I kept wanting to look outside of the windows but was too scared that if I did I would see something I didn't want to. As soon as I finished my jobs for the evening, I headed straight for bed, and hoped and prayed that she stuck to her word and would be back by morning.
