One-shot but I will carry it on in other ways later. Please review if you liked it even review if you did'nt.
(At Home-night)
I prayed to God last night hoping he could give me some answers to my life. But I heard nothing back.
(Home-Before school)
"Hey Dad is homosexuality a sin?" I say this because im afraid of the answer which I already know but for it to just come out of a loved ones mouth makes it seem so real.
"In the Bible it does say that homosexuality is a sin, so yes dear. Why did you want to know?"
"nothing just wondering" I hope he did'nt supsect anything id be devestated if he found out my secret the secret i've been holding inside for so long...im Gay.
It's just recently i've been looking at the girls in my new school and im staring at them and thinking thoughts that I should not be thinking. But even if homosexuality is a sin like my father says how can feeling this good about the same gender be so wrong when it feels so right.
(On way to school – in car)
"we're nearly there" said my mother with the happiest smile you could of ever seen.
"Great thanks for taking me to school early I just needed to use there computers for a school project"
"Thats ok sweety, Oh we're here have a good day"
"ok bye" I did'nt really need the school computers I just could'nt be in that house thinking they're going to find out who I really am. It's just like a force building up inside of me ready to scream for how much frustration im having since i've personally accepted it but at the same time worried other people will not be as accepting.
(Front of school)
The school that made me see who I really am. The funny thing is i've always known im gay but not accepted it until I came to this school and I don't know why.
"Hey Becky" said the darkly clothed boy who for some reason knows my name.
"Hey, you're Eli right?"
"Yeah we have english together. I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to walk to class together"
"yeah, sure" Why does he want to walk me to class it's wierd he hasn't talked to me since i've got here and above all else do you think he likes me I hope not because for one majour reason I dont like boys.
(walking to class - english)
"So Becky the reason I asked you to walk to class was..." oh no he's going to ask me out what do I do! Uhh I guess I just have to politely tell him no then probably run like hell.
"I heard you produced plays at your old school and I could really use your help with the play" Thats what he wanted to ask me. Well its better than what I thought.
"Yeah, sure I'd be honoured"
"Great I'll see you soon" As he walked away I though to myself what have I just gotten myself into.
(Lunch-Dinner)
This is the time of day im so nervous because when I sit down to eat I just end up looking at the girls around me and since my brothers only a few tables away I don't want to get caught looking.
"Hey Becky"
"Oh hi Jenna" This was one of my new friends since coming to degrassi and also the person i've been hoping for my whole life. I mean look at her she's beautiful and lovely and everything I want as a...I've never thought about it before never mention saying it...Girlfriend.
"So today i've been thinking maybe we should go to the mall after school and see a movie and go shopping"
"Yeah sure we'll go straight after school" What should I do will I be able to keep my feelings to myself I mean will I even be able to stop blushing while while we walk throught the mall and oh god what about the cinema. I just need to stay calm and relax im sure everything will be fine.
(last class-maths)
Im so nervous wait why am I nervous oh yeah because im going to be hanging out with the girl I care about so much it hurts. I don't know what im going to do but im going to enjoy it either way because when im with her how can I be nervous and how can I be scared when most of all i'll be looking at her, madly in love.
When I see her I could'nt be any happier I think of all the times we could spend together if I told her my feeling we could talk for hours spend alot more time together and the thing I want most of all to kiss her perfect lips because she is the love of my life and the person I will think about for the rest of my life.
(After school – Outside Degrassi)
"Hey Becky, over here!" oh shes there...ok i've been preaparing for this since dinner I should be okay.
"Hey, are you ready to go?"
"yeah come on I'll drive us"
"oh thanks" I say this as I get into her car thinking about anything that can give me some self control.
"ok off we go" So we're on our way to the mall and we're going to see a movie first. Im starting to think I should say something when we get into the movies but at the same time im also thinking of keeping my mouth shut so my heart does'nt get broken.
"So what movie do you want to see I heard that new romance film is out, is it okay if we see that?"
"Yeah, sure" Wait a minute she wants to see a romance movie...with me...me Becky Baker...a girl. Going to the movies is going to be harder than i thought.
(At the cinema-buying tickets)
"Hey, can we have 2 tickets to see `an ending love`"
"yes, here are your tickets have a nice day" That was the cashier giving us the tickets to see the romance movie im hoping won't make me more nervous than I already am.
Either way I can't get out of it now since we are now sat in out seats and the movies about to start.
"It's starting" Says the girl I am so deeply in love with. Thats it im going to say something I can't just sit here without telling her my feelings.
"Jenna..." I whispered
"whats up the movies on?"
"I've been waiting to tell you this for a long time...but im in love with you and I know you might not feel the same way and im hoping you understand..."
"Becky..." And with that she gets closer to me and even more close and then our lips touch and with that we keep kissing and as I kiss her I have my hands around her body holding her as she kisses me so passionately.
With us still kissing in our seats not even caring if anybody from our school see's us I know that this is the girl I want to be with and need to be with because she is everything to me and today with that first kiss she proves she wants to love me too.
