Hi, I still cry when I re-watch the three last episodes of S9, and I wonder what plans they have for Clara since they left her "alive" after all... But this story is a thing to fix my aching heart and reunite them non-canonically (: Heaven Sent and Hell Bent happened just as were shown, but I'm cutting Husbands of River Song out of my story since I think this just works better without throwing the missus back into the mix. And Face The Raven maybe has a tiny crucial edit... Enjoy.

oOo

1. Ready

He had lost people before. It always hurt, but somehow he seemed to always to forget just how badly. Her small figure stood before him now, the eyes larger than ever before. Small, and so fragile and precious, despite all her efforts to convince herself that she was strong and brave

He could not lose her.

So many times before had he saved her, had she saved him… They always fixed it. Even now, part of his mind was frantically looking for ways out. Thinking there had to be some solution he had not yet thought of. But another part knew that it was over. Knew that this was the last he would ever see of her, the next words the last ones he would ever speak to her. And there were so many things he should say to her. So many things he could say. Things he even maybe would say, given enough time.

But time was running away from them.

"Clara-" he began.

Further, he didn't get, before she had thrown herself into him in a hug.

"Everything you are about to say, I already know."

Her words made him lose what tiny trace of coherence he had managed to formulate his thoughts with. He couldn't help his arms rising slowly, grasping the small, precious body that held on to his. She was trembling.

"Don't do it now. We've already had enough bad timing."

Bad timing? His panicking thoughts flew to a memory of her old form in a living room, hands too weak to pull a christmas cracker without his help, a mention of an impossible man she could never have been with. They flew on, to an image of his elderly former self, hands too weak to pull a christmas cracker without her help, a head full of doubts on whether he had done the right thing abandoning her or not. It all seemed so long ago now. So far away from here.

A horrifying caw echoed from the streets outside. It pulled them both out of their trance, making her jump back and out of his arms. He saw her big eyes flash towards the door. There it was again, the fragility. Nobody had ever been as human as she was in that moment, he thought.

When she looked back at him, he also saw her determination. She had accepted this sudden fate. He hadn't.

"Don't run," he quickly begged. It was the only thing he found words for.

With the saddest smile, she leaned her head to the side. He smiled back, knowing that she knew him well enough to see that for once, he was wearing his soul on the outside.

"Stay with me."

"Nah," she answered, lighthearted until the very end, shaking her head as if it could keep the swelling tears away. "You stay here. In the end, everybody does this alone."

Her ability to even say something like this now, brought him over the edge. His painful smile disappeared, and he gasped for a breath.

"Clara-" he began anew, urgency in his tone, only to be cut off again.

"This is as brave, as I know how to be!" she said, almost whispering, yet he felt like she was yelling at him. "I know it's going to hurt you, but… Please… Be a little proud of me?"

At this point, he was all out of words. No part of him any longer held any hope, and nothing else in the room, in the whole world, existed at this moment, but him and her. She couldn't go. But she was going to.

Taking a deep breath, she raised her hand to touch his cheek, one last time. Her warm hand against his old, rugged skin, melted all the worries away too. He could only see her, here and now. Still alive. The smile that spread across his face was now a true one. How couldn't it be? She was here. Alive. Nothing else had ever really mattered, and certainly would never matter again.

He took her hand in both of his, and slowly as she watched, moved to plant the lightest of kisses on her fingers. When his eyes darted back to hers just after, he could tell that she had reached the limit of her bravery at last. Her tears betrayed her.

Another caw told them that their time was up. She let out one last breath, and moved away. Without another glance, she was out the door, leaving him standing there alone. Other people in the room didn't exist for him yet, maybe they wouldn't for a long time. They were extras. She was his only person, and she had gone.

The door didn't completely close behind her. A sudden urge sprung to him, to head out after her, to convince the raven to take him instead, or at the very least to be there by her side until the very end.

But his feet were rooted in place.

Nah. You stay here. Be a little proud of me.

He heard her scream, and it tore him into pieces. He felt absolutely nothing as Ashildr started initiating her mysterious teleportation. Even the threats he gave her felt like they were spoken by somebody else. There was nothing left to feel. Which meant, no matter where this transport would take him, he was ready.

oOo

She was ready. She knew where she had to go, and she was finally ready to accept it. Again.

It hadn't been many months before Ashildr had lost the initial excitement around traveling through time and space in an American diner - not even after they unstuck the chameleon circuit and could blend in for real. Sure, time travel was a thing she hadn't often had the luxury of enjoying, but considering how long she had been living for, and how much she had seen in these many billions of years, Ashildr - Me - simply couldn't find much joy in any part of the galaxies anymore. All that had driven her over the last millions of years, was the idea she clung onto, the idea that she surely would meet the most famous time traveler of all, at the end of all things. She had even made her way to his homeworld, to Gallifrey, and she had waited, and he had come. Now, there just wasn't much more left. After only four months, Clara had returned her to the end of time, to the last fading reality bubble in the universe, and they had said their goodbyes. Ashildr had smiled, and for the first time in so very long, she hadn't objected when Clara had used her viking name.

Just like the Doctor, Clara realized that she wasn't fit to travel alone in a TARDIS. Not to mention, the fact that she still lacked a heartbeat still freaked her out on a daily basis. This wasn't a permanent situation, her here, in this new TARDIS. This had been one last series of small adventures, just to stretch her time. But for no good reason, really. They had never encountered the Doctor, which she actually had found a bit surprising. Wasn't he basically everywhere at all times, by now? Maybe the universe really didn't want them to meet again.

Which was, of course, the whole point. They could never meet again. They had said their goodbyes - several times, even. What she was doing now, was riding on stolen time. It wasn't fair, it wasn't real, and it would end now. She was ready.

But it really wasn't easy, making herself type in Gallifrey's coordinates in time and space again. At the last symbols, she hesitated. Why? Maybe she just needed to get some peace of mind first. The TARDIS was nice in many ways, but sometimes it felt like being inside of a factory. They never did manage to figure out how to edit the interior design, as the Doctor seemed to do with his own old ship every now and then.

"I know we haven't known each other for long," she said softly, patting the white console board. "But I was hoping that you'd know me well enough by now to take me to a place where you think I could be happy."

The white TARDIS was quiet.

"Just anywhere, really. A planet, maybe. With a sunset. Some nice mountains. Happy people…"

Still no noise or groan from the sentient ship. Clara was honestly doubting that it was sentient at all. The old TARDIS had done all kinds of strange things, as if to make you realize that you were never quite alone onboard.

"Oh well," Clara sighed, and pulled a lever.

When she exited the doors, she found a magnificent orange sky, painted by a sun setting over mountains at the horizon. Music danced to her through the air, and turned her attention to a city, situated by the beach of a calm sea. Apparently, she was looking down at them from a nearby hill.

Feeling a warm, grateful sensation spreading in her, she turned to hug the TARDIS, before she slowly strolled down towards the settlement. No rush. She had all the time in the world - all the time between the heartbeat she was stuck in, and her very last.

There was clearly some festival going on. Despite the settlement looking small, there were many more people than expected there. The bigger streets were packed, everybody's attention turned towards the seaside. Clara made her way along the slightly less dense crowds in the sidestreets, until she reached a balcony overlooking a big square.

The music and singing came from the crowd, as they all were looking up at a stone statue, facing away from her in the very middle of the square. Must be a celebration of some old king, saint, maybe freedom fighter, she thought. Children were laughing, elders were closing their eyes and swaying to the music. A happy occasion, so at least not a war hero. It was all very atmospheric.

She closed her own eyes, allowed herself to become immersed in the world here. The world that would continue to spin and laugh, long after she had left. The world would continue, it didn't need her. She wasn't the Doctor.

"Friends, it is time we take a moment to remember the hero who gave his own life to make our happy future possible. The hero whom we have to thank, for absolutely everything."

A person in the crowd who seemed to be of special importance, had risen up to stand in front of the statue. She was wearing an open black coat, red linings gleaming in the sunshine. Clara lazily fastened her eyes on it as she listened together with the people.

"A silent minute, to honor the Doctor."

"The Doctor," the crowd echoed, before they all fell utterly, completely silent.

All that could be heard, was a loud gasp from a girl on a balcony.

oOo

The Doctor found himself in a tricky situation. The gem in his hand was about to irradiate half the planet, after which it would explode. He had maybe two minutes to think of some clever way to avoid it.

It had seemed like a good idea at first, to take this beautiful crystal from the Finthoran squad of criminal bullies and bring it back to the Yacagarua Kingdom from which they had stolen it. Apparently, it was a precious heirloom for the royal family and a symbol of bravery. But then, the Finthorans had abruptly left the planet, leaving the Yacaraguans to rejoice, and the Doctor highly suspicious. When he was suspicious like that, he tended to want to stick around, and so he had. It was only hours later, at sunset, that he had been awakened by an alarmed royal guard to find the crystal shining with a light that scared the locals. Its radiation levels had increased drastically, and a sonic reading told him that its structure was about to collapse in on itself in a way that meant sure doom for a good part of the Yacagaruan world. There wasn't even enough time to evacuate the city, yet he told everybody to run.

The citizens fled, and he made his way to the beach. He didn't run though, because he knew it wouldn't help. His brain worked overtime, testing every possible solution, which went very quickly as he found that there were none. He couldn't dull the radiation - had he been a local lifeform, he would have been fried already. Luckily, Time Lords were not so frail. Tossing it into the ocean would only mean a slightly bigger splash when the explosion came.

Basically, this looked like it was going to be his last sunset. Strangely enough, he felt quite alright with that. Very strange, he retorted to himself. Why would you be alright with dying? Well, he answered himself. What have I really got left to live for? I'm just a daft old man running around the universe in his box. There's not much point in anything anymore.

Perhaps if he swallowed the crystal, his Time Lord body and energy would absorb some of the force and make the impact on the planet smaller. Seeing as there certainly weren't any better options, he was just about to pop the pink little thing into his mouth, when an all too familiar noise reached him and made him turn around.

All he could see was a big rock, standing in front of him on the beach. The radiation must be driving him crazy. He opened his mouth again.

"I can think of a better solution than that," a voice came, almost making him drop the gem.

The rock now had a doorway, and in it stood a small brunette, arms crossed and a gentle smile on her face. He thought he recognized her, for a fleeting moment, before the dreadful sound of a distant cloister bell pulled him out of his memory walk. It came from his TARDIS, which he had parked on a hill outside of the city. Too far away from the palace, too far for him to reach and fly away somewhere he could safely dump the gem. Hence his distraught walk to the beach instead.

"Oi!" the girl called out. "In here, now!"

Without really being sure of what was going on still, but not being so keen on swallowing and explosive gem that he wouldn't try anything else, he darted forward and followed her in through the doorway, only to be more than moderately shocked by its white interior

"This is a TARDIS," he managed to say.

"And it is much more durable than your belly. Give it here, quick!"

The girl snatched the lethal gem from him before he could protest, and ran up to a wall.

"Wait! It's too dangerous for you to hold!"

"Nah. My cells tend to ignore most things that happen to them," she replied nonchalanty as she opened a hatch, flung the gem in, and closed it again.

Everything suddenly became strangely calm and quiet. The Doctor blinked.

"How long until it blasts?" she asked.

"Should be mere seconds," he breathed.

Just as he finished talking, a poof could be heard from the wall. The girl carefully reopened the hatch, and they both peered inside. The walls of the little closet were scorched, and all that seemed to remain was a pile of ash on the bottom.

"That's that, then. Lovely!" the girl said casually, as if they had just finished cooking a chicken for dinner.

The Doctor followed her with his gaze as she walked over to operate the central console. With some noise that didn't quite sound like his own TARDIS, they touched down somewhere, and the brunette once again opened the door and motioned for him to follow her through it.

Now, the sun was rising instead, instantly telling him that she had taken him through time. They were looking down at the city, from a hill. It didn't take the Doctor many steps outside, before he caught sight of a blue police box in the corner of his eye, standing only some ten meters away from where they were. And the city was fine. People were flooding the streets, flocking towards the seaside, where it seemed like there was great commotion around a statue in the center of a square the Doctor couldn't quite remember from the day before.

She was standing behind him, hugging herself slightly in the chilly morning wind. Her face was calm, and he realized that she had been watching him

"How did you know to take me here?" he asked.

"Look at them," she said, and meant the city below. "They're celebrating you. You sacrificed yourself to save them. You're dead, and they thank you for it."

"I'm not sure I'm dead," he responded, a bit baffled.

"No, you aren't. But they think you are. They will keep honoring your memory for centuries to come, making selflessness and bravery crucial parts of their society, because they believed that you sacrificed your own life for them in the past."

"Wait, is that a statue of me? How far into the future did you take me?"

"Only two years," the girl said with a sly smile. "I hope the TARDIS will forgive me for leaving her on her own for so long, though. I bet she misses you a lot."

There was something odd in her eyes when she said that. Not to mention the oddity of her saying any of this at all.

"Who are you? I can tell you are not a Time Lady, so how do you have a TARDIS?"

The girl shook her head, and her smile grew sad as the early sunrays played over her face.

"Keep saving people, Doctor."

"Sure, but I'm not even sure that I was the one who saved these now. If you hadn't showed up, they wouldn't have a city to raise a statue in, or even big enough rocks left around to craft it from. So who are you?"

Instead of answering, she merely turned away and stepped back inside the big rock that was her own TARDIS

"Wait!" the Doctor called out after her.

She hesitated with her hand on the door, about to close it. Still not looking at him, she said: "Just run, you clever boy. And forget me."

oOo

It took him hours of drifting aimlessly around in his TARDIS - who was all kinds of riled up after having been left on her own for two years - but he finally realized it. The girl had been wearing a white and blue dress, her hair put up in a bun. He had definitely seen her before. In Nevada. In a diner. A diner that had mysteriously disappeared, leaving his own TARDIS behind.

He had suspected it then, that the girl had had something to do with his history - diners didn't just fade out of existence like that, not even American ones. He had gone looking for clues about who had taken his TARDIS away from London, but since he wanted to stay as far away from Mayor Me and Trap Street as possible, it hadn't been easy.

But there really was one blatant option, one possibility, that he had discarded way too early because it had seemed too simple. Too easy. Now he wasn't so sure that it was, though. Because he had seen her again, heard her calling him Doctor, talk about his TARDIS as a she, and piloted a TARDIS herself.

The diner girl was Clara.

He knew the story, he had reconstructed events in his mind. He just lacked the background, the motivations and the emotions that caused all these events to make sense in the past. They all seemed jumbled and crazy to him now. He knew that he had lost his memory because of a Gallifreyan neuro block, but the reasons behind them wanting to use it were completely lost to him. Why would he choose to forget about somebody like that? She had seemed so clever and brave during their brief encounters in her blue dress. Now, he couldn't understand it.

And he wouldn't let his old self have the last say.

When the TARDIS had calmed down enough to let him operate her again, he set coordinates for his homeworld. Time to learn the truth.