I looked at the dandelion being held out before me. It was full and ready to be wished upon but I still hesitated. Even a miracle couldn't help me now. I looked down, away from the eyes of the beautiful red-headed girl who was holding the dandelion out for me and I remembered the first time I met her.

"Just stop it! Stop it!"
I looked over to see a small, pudgy four year old girl standing in the sandbox with four five year old boys standing around her and teasing her. They had toy ponies
and Barbies in their hands and were holding them above her head while yelling at her to jump and get them.
Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she tried to get the
toys from the hands of the bigger boys.
"Give me back my
toys!" she begged.
They laughed and teased her with them. A frown over took my face. Boys were meant to be nice to girls and they definitely weren't meant to tease them.
I climbed off the swing and went over to the boys.

"Leave her alone," I said firmly.
The boys looked at me and I held my chin up and my shoulders back in the stance my father used when he was
being mean. They looked at me and noticed that I was older than them and bigger so they shoved the girl and ran away, throwing the toys at her. The girl wailed even louder as she fell and was hit by the toys. I frowned, I wanted to chase after the boys but I didn't want to leave the girl alone. I stepped next to her and held out my hand to her. She looked up to me with eyes as red as her hair. I smiled warmly and she gave me a small smile back.

She put her hand in mine and I held her hand and brought her over to my swing.
"Here, have my swing," I said to her.
She smiled and climbed into the swing. I buckled her in and walked behind her so I could push her gently. She began to giggle after awhile, even though my arms were weak and I couldn't push her very high.

"Clary!" a woman called out.
The girl sighed and I stopped pushing her.
"I have to go now…" she said quietly.
I gave her a smile and then spied a dandelion. I walked over and plucked it before returning to her. I unbuckled the swing and helped her down.
"Here, blow on the flower and make a wish," I said, giving her the dandelion.
"Will it come true?" she asked, her eyes wide with wonder.
"If you don't tell anyone what your wish i
s, then yes," I said.
She smiled and blew on the dandelion.
"
Clary!" the woman called again.
The girl smiled and looked at me. She then stood on her tip toes and pushed her mouth onto mine.
"Thank you," she said, and then skipped off.

"Come on, make one last wish," the girl before me pleaded.
Her emerald green eyes were full of sadness and despair, but still held one last string of hope. I took the dandelion in my hand and rolled it in my fingers. It was almost begging to be wished upon but I couldn't bring myself to do it. A flash of sunlight hit my eye and I instinctively looked towards it. I saw the silver necklace around her neck and I saw the dandelion pendant hanging from it. It had a small diamond in the middle of the diamond and I smiled faintly. I could remember the day I had given her that necklace.

"But I'm scared! You've already been at this school for two years! And your brother is in his last freaking year! I'm scared Jace," my best friend, Clary whined as we walked to school.
I looked over at her and I could see the fear and worry on her face as she fiddled with the torn sleeves of her favourite
Breaking Benjamin hoodie. I knew underneath it lay my favourite Linkin Park shirt. I had given it to her last night because she loved it and I knew it would comfort her.
"
Clary, it's going to be okay. I'll help you through it all, I promise. Maybe if we're lucky we'll share a class or at the very least lunch," I said, placing my arm around her shoulders and rubbing her arm comfortingly.
"Ja
ce, I'm not okay. I'm not okay with this at all. Please don't make me do this," she pleaded.

It was her first day of middle school and she was absolutely terrified. I bit my lip and thought of what could comfort her. Suddenly a brainwave hit me. I smiled widely and grabbed her hand in mine.
"Come with me," I said and I began tugging her off the path to school.
I brought her to a small jewel
lery store that a friend of my mother owned and knocked on the door. A tired looking man with shaggy hair and a slightly hunched back answered the door.
"Hey, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be on your way to school?" he asked me.
I grinned and gave him a brief hug.
"I need something for my best friend,
Clary. It's her first day of middle school," I explained.
He raised an eyebrow at me and then smiled at
Clary who was standing behind me, shyly.
"Sure, and because you're a friend you can get a twenty percent discount," he said.
"Thanks
Hodge," I said, walking in.

Clary and I browsed over the jewellery and then I spied something she hadn't. It was perfect. It was a silver necklace and it had a small dandelion on it that had a diamond embedded in the flower part.
"Hodge, I want that. But I want it to be a surprise," I whispered lowly, pointing to the necklace.
Hodge gave me a knowing smile and pulled it out and hid it before Clary came over sighing.
"It's all very pretty, but there's not really anything here that's just right," Clary said sadly.
"Sorry, maybe try again in a couple of weeks. I'm getting more stock in soon," Hodge said.
"Sorry Clary, I thought there'd be something here," I said, feigning disappointment.
"It's okay, you tried, and I love you for that," Clary said, giving me a smile.
"Hey, can I give you a message for your mother? It's important," Hodge said, glancing at Clary, indicating to her was a private matter.
"Oh, sure, I'll just wait outside," Clary replied, answering before I could.

She stepped outside and I smiled. I pulled out my wallet and I slid my credit card over. Hodge pulled out the necklace and swiped the card.
"So that's two-hundred and forty dollars," Hodge said.
"Sure thing," I nodded.
I didn't care about the price, I would've paid two hundred and forty thousand dollars for her.
"So when are you going to tell her?" Hodge asked me casually.
"Tell her what?" I asked.
"That you love her," Hodge said nonchalantly, wrapping up the box.
My mouth dropped open as the blood pooled in my cheeks.
"I don't love her. I mean sure, I love her as my best friend, but that's it," I stuttered.
My heart was racing and the blood was burning my cheeks. I was Jace Wayland, I didn't get feelings for girls! Certainly not beautiful red heads that I'd known my entire life.
"Just keep telling yourself that, one day you might believe it," Hodge chuckled.
I scowled and grabbed my credit card and the present for Clary.

I stepped outside and she smiled at me.
"Take your time," she joked.
I smiled and shook my head. I wrapped my arm around her waist and silently passed her the box as I slid my credit card in my wallet. She looked at me curiously before unwrapping the box and opening it. I bit my lip and looked at her uneasily. I
really hoped she liked it and that she wouldn't find it tacky or anything. She gasped and then wrapped her arms tightly around me. I smiled relieved and wrapped my arms around her as I rested my chin on her head.
"Oh, thank you! It's amazing!" she breathed.
"I'm glad you like it. Now everywhere you go you can make a wish," I murmured, giving her a tight squeeze before loosening my grip.
She pulled away and placed the box in her bag, after taking out the necklace. She tilted her head to the side and let her hair fall away from her neck a
nd struggled to clasp the necklace. I smiled and took the necklace from her hands. I pulled it together behind her neck and clipped it quickly. She turned around and wrapped her arms around my neck in another hug.
"Thank you Ja
ce, you're the best," she whispered before kissing my cheek.
I blushed and wrapped my arms around her waist.
"Anything for you
Clary," I replied.

Her emerald eyes were boring into my own, silently begging. They were filled with tears and bloodshot. Her curly red hair was all messed up and knotty, indicating it hadn't been brushed in days. Her lips were chapped and bleeding from where she'd chewed at them in her anxiety. She had dark purple shadows under her eyes and the skin was sagging in huge bags. She was wearing my Linkin Park shirt, that still fit her snugly and she was wearing her oldest pair of sweatpants that sagged at the crotch and had to be held up by the drawstrings being pulled as tight as they could. I'd only ever seen her this bad once before.
"I've made my wish, now it's time to make yours," she whispered.

"You asshole! Get out of here! I hate you!" Clary screamed at me, hurling a stuffed animal at my face. I ducked it and grabbed her arms, pinning them to her sides.
"
Let me go!" she shouted, struggling.
Tears were flowing down her face and a frown was painted over her face, disguising the pain I knew lay behind it.
"
Clary, please listen to me, I'm so, so sorry!" I begged.
"
No! Get away from me! I never want to see your face again! I! Hate! You!" she screamed.
I felt a stabbing and a crushing in my heart. I swallowed hard but didn't let her go, I needed for her to understand.
"
Clary, please… please… I'm so sorry! I never meant for it to happen! She wouldn't let me go! She said you were okay!" I begged.
"No! I needed you and you weren't there for me! I told you I wanted to go, that I didn't feel safe! I had to call your damn brother to come get me out of there! I was terrified! I needed you more then than I ever had before! He almost killed me! It's only thanks to your damn BROTHER that he didn't! I hate you! Get the hell away from me!" she screamed through her sobs.
I felt my mouth go dry and my blood chill. Two emotions swept over my body. Anger at her so-called boyfriend, for doing such a thing and hatred of myself. Guilt ripped a new hole through me and I felt like I had been punched in the gut. Pain suddenly flared out from my crotch, crippling me. I gasped as I let go of Clary and dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes.

"I told you to let go of me," she growled, "Now get the hell out of my room before I call the police for trespassing and assault."
Ouch. I guess I deserved it though.
"
Can I use the door?" I groaned through my pain.
"Go
back through the window you prick!" she spat.
I probably deserved that too.
"Clary, honey! Who are you talking to?" her mother called through the door.
Clary looked down at me and I looked up at her silently pleading for her not to tell her mother. Her mother would kill me. For some bizarre reason she hated me and I had never been able to charm her into liking me.
"I'm on the phone Mom. I'll be quieter, sorry!" Clary called back.
I gave a sigh of relief and stumbled to the window, trying to suck up the pain.
"Don't ever come near me again or I'll set my mother on you," she said coldly.
I gulped and nodded.
"I'm sorry," I whispered before climbing through her window and jumping to the tree next to her window.

I returned the next day and sat in the tree next to her window and waited for her.

I had to let her know I would be there for her, that I would never be too wrapped in someone else that I ignored her. Her curtains were drawn closed and they stayed like that the whole day. At around eight pm the curtains opened and I saw Clary standing there. She saw me and stared at me with shock and then anger.
"Get the hell off my property!" she spat.
"Not until you forgive me," I answered.
Her face twisted into a scowl and she slammed the curtains closed, but they fell open anyway. She turned on her music and obnoxiously loud Smashing Pumpkins assailed my ears. I sighed and looked away. I waited for over an hour and then glanced back in her room. She was now asleep, curled up on her side facing the wall.

I crept along the branch and opened her window, climbing through it. I turned off the Smashing Pumpkins and the silence rang loudly through my ears. I crept back over to the window but a whimper stopped me in my tracks. I looked back to see distress clearly displayed on her face. I crept over to the bed and gently placed my hand on her arm. She whimpered again.
"
Seb… no… geroff… please," she mumbled.
My heart ached for her as guilt ate at m
y stomach. Sebastian was her boyfriend. The one who had tried to attack her while my girlfriend kept me occupied and filled with lies aboutClary. I climbed into the bed next to her and gently pulled Clary into my arms.
"It's okay, I'm here to save you," I whispered.
She curled up into my frame and held me close. Tears slid down underneath her eyelids and I held her close to me, kissing her head. Eventually she stopped crying and a peaceful expression came across her face. I smiled and my eyes fluttered closed. I'd wake up in a few hours.

Light pierced my eyes and I sighed. My eyes unwillingly opened and I realized I was in Clary's bed and it was morning. My heart jumped into overdrive; if she caught me here she'd kill me. I carefully climbed out of the bed and turned back to pull the blanket up when I saw a smattering of black, blue and purple over her body and even worse over her small neck. Fury boiled up in me as I thought of how to make this a productive day.

I didn't return for another week. It was pouring down with rain and I was trying to protect a small dandelion.
"
Clary! Clary! Clary!" I shouted, above the rain.
The front door opened and I saw
Clary walk out onto her porch.
"What are you doing here? It's pouring down rain!" she yelled back I ran over to her and stood in front of her.

Her eyes were blood shot and puffy, her neck and arms were still bruised and her hair was a complete mess. She had on an old pair of sweatpants and another old shirt that was once mine. Her lips were bleeding and flaking and she had make up going down her face. My heart melted and I gave her a sympathetic look.

"Where've you been?" she asked, quietly.
I looked at my knuckles, they were raw and ugly. The skin on them had been ripped off and they were only just starting to heal.
"Nowhere important," I said dismissively.
"Excuse me?" she asked, annoyed.
"Fine,
Sebastian's never going anywhere near you again. I've been in jail for the past week for assault of Sebastian. He will never hurt you again," I promised her.
Her mouth dropped open and her hand went up to cover it.
"I've made my wish, now it's time for you to make yours," I said, giving her the dandelion in my hand.
She looked at me and took the dandelion with
tears in her eyes and a smile on her face.
"I don't need to wish, you just made it come true," she whispered.

I rolled the dandelion between my fingers and then bit my lip.
"Wish upon a dandelion..." Clary whispered to me.
I then sighed and blew on the dandelion making a single, silent wish. I saw Clary smile at me through watery eyes and she flung herself at me, clambering onto the hospital bed as the dandelion fluff floated around us.
"What did you wish for?" Clary asked.
I gave her a watery smile, trying to keep it together for her.
"If I told you it wouldn't come true," I whispered.
She giggled lightly and tears splashed down her face.
"Jace… I… I'm scared for you," she whispered.
"Clary… don't be. Please, just lie here next to me tonight," I pleaded.
"Anything for you Jace. Anything," she whispered, lying next to me.
I pulled her into my arms and we both fell into a comfortable position. Her head was resting on my chest and her arms were circled around me. My arms were circled around her waist and my head was resting on hers. I was glad I had my best friend here with me. I knew I wasn't going to make it through the night, and I wanted her to know how much she meant to me.

We lay there silently for hours. Night fell and Alex's breaths turned heavy and I knew she was asleep. Tears filled up my eyes as my heart finally broke apart. I let out tiny himpers as my tears soaked into her hair.
"I love you so much, Clary… I've never told you but, I—I'm in love with you… I'm sorry I never told you… Clary, you're the most beautiful woman on this planet… I'm sorry I had to do this to you," I whispered into her ear, knowing she couldn't hear me.
I grabbed a note pad and a pen that was on my bedside table and began to write as tears splashed onto the page.

Third Person P.O.V.

Clary stirred as a loud mechanical screaming sounded in her ears. She squinted and looked over at the heart monitor as nurses and doctors began to flood the room. Clary's blood turned to ice as she realised what was happening.

"Jace!" she shrieked, her voice reaching new decibels.
"Get her out of here!" someone shouted.
Suddenly hands were all over her and Clary fought against them.
"Let me go! No! I have to be here! Jace! Wake up!" she screamed as she was pulled off the bed kicking and screaming.
"Miss, let us work on him! We may actually have a chance if you're not there!" the nurse told her.
Tears streamed down her face.
"Please… save him," she croaked.
The nurse slammed the door shut and closed the curtains. Clary took a seat and drew her knees up to her chest, her hands tangled in her hair, sobbing brokenly. Her best friend was dying and she couldn't do a damn thing about it.

Clary waited for what felt like an eternity before the door opened. Her head snapped up in hope. The nurses were walking out but the doctor stayed behind. His face said it all. Clary's eyes widened and a feral noise escaped her throat as she ran into the room.
"JACE!"
He was lying there on the bed looking more peaceful than he had in a long time. His golden hair fanning around him and his arms lying next to him.
"Jace! I can't do this without you!"

Clary was in hysterics, the nurses were packing away the last of the wires and she didn't know why. She knew all about the 'golden hour'.
"What are you doing?! He still has time! Revive him! Fix him!" Clary cried.
The nurses just looked at her sadly and Clary shook her head in disgust. If they wouldn't save her best friend then she would have to. She climbed onto the bed and knelt over him.
"Clary… Clary..." the nurses tried to stop her halfheartedly.
Clary ignored them though and started pushing hard on his chest. She pushed three times and then pinched his nose and blew hard into his mouth.
"C'mon, Jace, please..." she pleaded.

Her tears were dripping down her face and splashing onto his as she worked. She built up a sweat as she kept pushing away and attempting to breathe life into him.
"Clary, it's time sweetheart," one of the nurses said to her gently.
All the nurses were aware of the pair. Often they commented on their loyalty and love for another.
"No! He's not gone! He can't be! He promised!" she screamed.
"Clary… He wouldn't want you to be like this, you know he wouldn't," the nurse said soothingly pulling the girl down.

Clary's whole body began to shake, huge tremors that she couldn't control.
"Clary, Clary, breathe, breathe with me, honey."
The nurse's voice faded away as Clary's airways closed up and her eyes remained locked on Jace's dead body.
Jace was dead. Gone. Completely.
The realisation hit her like a freight train and all of a sudden she couldn't breathe. Clary collapsed to the floor and trembled like she was made from jelly. Clary spluttered coughed and gasped as her lungs began to scream in pain from oxygen deprivation but she couldn't breathe! She reached up for her throat and began to claw at it trying to pull it open. All she could see was his lifeless body lying on the bed like a rag doll. This wasn't the boy she knew. This wasn't her best friend. Just knowing that was making it worse. She was prone to panic attacks, but normally Jace was there with her to help her overcome them. What would she do now without him? How could she survive without him, without his sarcastic quips, golden hair and his friendship. She didn't have many other friends because all she needed was Jace and now… he wasn't here.

"Clary! Clary! Clary!" she could hear a voice calling out to her and for one moment she thought it was Jace.
"Ja-ce!" she gasped in desperation.
Black hair and blue eyes entered her vision and she wailed as she realised it wasn't Jace.
"Clary, it's okay, it's okay…" Alec soothed, pulling the shaking girl into his arms.
He paid no attention to the body on the bed, because he knew if he let himself look at it then he would end up like the girl in his arms. As it was he could hear his parents and siblings wailing and he clutched Clary closer as tears filled his own eyes. She clutched onto Alec and for a moment she pretended he was Jace, but he wasn't saying the right words to calm her and she was starting to lose consciousness.
"Jace… right words…" she gasped.
Alec looked around frantically as if Jace was about to sit up and tell him. He didn't know what to say to make the girl stop having a panic attack.
"Wish—upon a—dand—elion," she gasped out, sensing Alec needed help.
"Wish upon a dandelion," Alec murmured, over and over in her ear, holding her tight.

When she could breathe properly and stopped shaking she clutched tightly onto Alec, sobbing her heart out. Alec could hear the pain in her wails and he looked up at his dead brother on the bed, the cause of everyone's pain. His eyes filled with tears and without his consent they spilled over. He felt wrong holding Clary in his arms and telling her it was going to be okay. It was his brother's job to comfort her; they were as thick as thieves. Inseparable, from when they were kids. Jace always knew what to say, what to do, while he was an awkward teenager barely able to talk to his parents—let alone tell them he was gay. Nonetheless he held the sobbing girl until a doctor came in.
"Ah, I see you've settled… Mr. Wayland gave me this last night," the doctor said awkwardly, holding out a note to Clary.
She sniffed and took it. She opened it and then bit back a wail.
Clary, my love… I don't know where to start.
Maybe I should just spit it all out?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to find out this way.
About how… I love you. I love you so much Clary… I never would have survived without you by my side. You're my everything. I'm so sorry about the times we fought, and I'm sorry about the times I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry that I never told you any of this in person. If I could take it all back—I would, a million times over. Clary… I want you to know that I would have married you—I think. If you wanted to. And I would have given anything to keep you from this pain. But my wish came true. All I wished was for me to be able to spend one last night with you in my arms. You are my whole world, I've loved you for… most of my life actually. I think since you kissed me when you were four and I was six. I never regret one single moment spent with you. I love you Clary. Please, don't close yourself off after my death. That's the last thing I want for you. Get the doctor to give you the box I gave him with this note. Keep the contents. I love you.
Jace.

The girl practically howled as pain wracked her body. She hated herself for not telling Jace she loved him. She hated herself for all the moments they spent apart and she hated herself for not being able to say goodbye.
"Jace… Jace… I love you… please… please… don't leave me alone…" she sobbed.
She rose up from the floor and collapsed onto his chest and balled her hands in his shirt, trying to get the same comfort she used to from him.
"Clary… this is the box, Jonathan gave me last night with the note," the doctor said quietly holding out a small, green, velvet covered, jewellery box.
Her breath hitched as she took the box. She carefully opened it and saw the beautiful diamond studded ring inside. Her hand came up to her mouth and she found it was shaking.
"Oh Jace… it's beautiful…" she breathed.
She pulled the ring out and slid it onto her left ring finger. It fit perfectly. Tears continued to cascade down her cheeks as she thought through all the might have been's.

Clary in an ivory wedding dress walking down the aisle to meet her future husband, Jace who was smiling and looking at her like she was the only person in the whole wide world. A small brick house in the suburbs with a golden retriever puppy called Max, a flower garden out the front and a veggie patch in the back. A little girl with Jace's golden hair and Clary's green eyes.

"It'll get better, it'll get better," Alec murmured to the sobbing girl, rubbing her on her back as she dissolved into tears.

"And as we mourn the loss…"
Clary tuned the priest out as she stared at the grave and the coffin before her. The coffin was a rich mahogany and gleamed brightly in the morning sunlight. Tears silently slid down her face as she thought of the cold body inside the coffin. All she could think about was her best friend. She was an absolute mess. Jace's funeral was the only reason why she had left her house after spending four days locked up in her room, crying. She knew Jace wouldn't want her to be acting this way, but he had been a part of her life for so long she didn't know how to survive without him. One hand clutched at the tiny dandelion pendant around her neck—she had been non-stop wishing that this was a nightmare and she would wake up at any moment—, while the other clutched onto a real dandelion. She was shaking as she sat next to the Lightwoods in the front row. Alec had silent tears pouring down his face and he was looking at his clasped hands which were trembling. Clary immediately felt bad, Maryse and Robert were crying into each other's shoulders, Isabelle was cuddling Max, but Alec was suffering alone. Clary reached her hand over and placed it over Alec's hands.
He looked at the ring on the hand and he looked up to see Clary's tear stained face looking back at him. Despite the fact that Clary and Jace were always together either at their house or hers, he didn't know the girl very well but he was immensely grateful for the comfort she was offering him. He gripped her hand with his and he ended up leaning into her shoulder as he cried for the loss of his brother. She held him as comfortingly as she could, while crying on his shoulder as well.

About an hour later and the service ended. The casket was laid to rest in the ground and the dirt had been thrown. Alec had left with his parents to mingle with the crowd and thank them for coming as the congregation moved away for drinks and food. Clary, however, remained by her best friend's grave. She curled to the ground and leaned on the headstone. She saw the coffin covered by handfuls of dirt and she had half a mind to jump in with it and let them bury her with Jace. She didn't though choosing to stay right there curled up against the headstone, trying to draw strength from the cold stone.

"What are you up to?"
Those five small words broke through her silence and she looked up to see Alec standing over her.
"Sorry?" her voice was harsh and rough against her vocal cords but wasn't any louder than a whisper.
"Why are you lying by Jace's grave, at seven pm, hugging his headstone?" Alec asked her.
She bit her lip and rolled the dandelion between her fingers.
"I miss him," she whispered.
"We all do, Clary, but nothing good is going to come out of sitting by his grave for hours on end," Alec said gently, giving her his hand.
She sighed and took it, standing up but didn't move away from the grave.
"Clary, you should leave. It's not healthy for you…" Alec said worriedly.

She bit her lip and faced the tombstone. For the first time she read what was etched in the stone and her breath hitched. She looked at Alec and he looked back at her confused.
"Okay. I'll go… but give me one more minute," she said softly.
Alec nodded and stood quietly.
She walked over to the grave and kissed the headstone.
"I love you Jace. Wish upon a dandelion," she whispered and threw the dandelion onto his coffin, along with the dirt.
She ran her hand over the smooth stone before turning on her heel and walking away. Alec joined her and together they left Jace's grave.

Here lies Jonathan 'Jace'Christopher Wayland.
Much loved son, brother
and friend.
1998-2017
"
Wish upon a dandelion"