DISCLAIMER: I do not own Prince of Tennis (any of the characters and places in it).
Hosokawa Risa stared absentmindedly as she sat beneath the birch trees that decorated the outskirts of the campus, clutching the sides. Hyoutei was enormous and probably a little to high tech for her liking, but it had gardens that contrasted it wonderfully. And it was in one of these gardens she sat, waiting for time to pass.
"I told you to wait for me by the courts," greeted a voice, which snapped her out of her reverie.
She looked up and smiled, "Nice to see you care for me so much, Keigo," she said in a joking, slightly sarcastic, manner.
He held out his hand to help her up, but she didn't take it. Concern rushed over him, though he did nothing to show it but purse his lips a bit. On his face, it looked more like irritation that concern. "Risa."
His voice was stern, but Risa only stared at the outstretched hand.
Meeting had become a daily routine for them, but had this happened about a year ago she would have probably shunned him away.
*.*.*.*.*
"Oi, Hosokawa, Atobe was looking for you."
The statement elicited a groan from the girl as she turned to face the bearer of her bad news, "And what does he want this time, Shishido-kun?" For the past month, Atobe Keigo had been pestering her non-stop about the oddest of things – the home economics project, borrowed books from the library, student lists for this and that, and even instrument reservations.
Atobe Keigo had been bugging her about all this. Atobe Keigo, president of the junior high student council and captain of the school's infamous tennis team. And who was she? Hosokawa Risa, class secretary and president of the jazz class and competing team of Hyoutei's dance company. They were supposed to have nothing to do with each other. Nothing at all.
But apparently, he thought they had everything to do with each other.
"Maybe he likes you," teased her friend Aiko who burst out laughing a few seconds later.
"Not funny, Aiko."
"Well, you never know," Aiko continued to laugh, "or it could be like what happened with Kurosawa."
Kurosawa Mai was previously the treasurer of the student council. But after only a month on the job it was evident she was not as dedicated as the others and was in it mostly for the recognition and perks. Atobe and the others decided to give her all the tasks she said she could handle and pushed her to meet deadlines and she eventually stepped down. Risa shook her head, "I can't think of one good reason why he'd want to do the same with me. And what can he take away, dance?"
"I'm sure I don't know, dear Risa-chan," she shrugged.
Risa continued to stroll around the school, supposedly looking for Atobe but that was her least priority at the moment.
"If I weren't so considerate, I would have thought you were trying to avoid me."
"Get over yourself," and there he was. She had to hand it to his good-humored-ness though. He was serious when he had to be, but was pretty alright to converse with when he was out of that mode. "Anyway, what is it you need?"
"I need a line-up of your best dancers, Hosokawa-san," he smiled, "I want you in the list, of course."
Risa had to pause for a while. It was unlike him to ask for something which involved anything she actually was supposed to be involved in, "Oh… alright. What is this for?"
"It's a surprise," he said with a smirk and a hair-flip, "I'll need this by next week."
"I'll hand it in as soon as possible," she said abruptly and then did a quick bow before turning to leave, "Thank you, Atobe."
"Hosokawa-san."
She held her breath and turned to face him once more, "Yes?"
Hands in his pockets and a calm expression on his face, "Why do you hate working with me so much?" He smirked, "I'm pretty sure a lot of girls would give anything to be in your place."
"Why?" She had never thought of it before. She had declared her dislike for him and that was all that mattered to her. "Just because I do."
And then she walked away, not knowing anything about the confusion that had stained the boy's face.
For the next two months, Risa worked with Atobe and, although she denied it most of the time, she enjoyed it. Probably because this time he wasn't too confident in his manner of speech when talking to her, or probably because this time they were working on something she had a passion for. Atobe Keigo also did take pleasure in it, but he never told her, of course.
For the next two months, Atobe's question rang in her head, like an alarm that was always put on snooze. Why did she?
"You used to like him, didn't you?" said Aiko. Funny, Risa thought, how they always managed to come across him every time they talked. Either Aiko was obsessed or it was she who was able to somehow bring it up all the time.
"That was back in middle school."
"Yeah, for the whole of middle school."
"Well," she tried to reason, "that was way back when he wasn't a pretentious ass."
Aiko looked at her with a what-the-hell look on her face, "Risa, he's always been a pretentious ass."
"Ne, Aiko-chan," she said with a sigh, "I see enough of him everyday. I think I'd like to keep my thoughts clear for the rest of the time I don't have him on my back."
"Ahn, it's good knowing you have such wonderful thoughts of me," came the sudden, drawling voice from behind them. The two girls turned to face the subject of their conversation, Aiko with a look that showed she was just about to die from laughter, Risa with one that she tried to keep as calm as possible. He just always had to have such wonderful timing, didn't he? "Hosokawa-san, if you don't mind, I would like you to come with me. We will have to meet the rest of the student org. heads to finalize plans."
"As if it would have made a difference if I did mind," Risa said to herself before turning to Aiko, "I'll be going then."
She nodded in reply and a playful smile found its way to her lips, "Old feelings return when prompted to, Risa!"
"Shut up."
And they were off. Anyone would immediately notice the silent torture caused by the knowing arrogance of one as the two walked to the meeting room. Risa groaned inwardly, lamenting what she caused herself. He makes me suffer and he knows it, she thought, but at least he isn't saying anything out loud.
"Atobe, when do plan to tell me exactly what it is we're working on?" She asked, deciding that the initiation of conversation was the best way to rid herself of all the unease, so long as the conversation did not lead to anything that would cause her humiliation.
"I assumed you would have figured it out by now," he replied. "You'll be performing."
"Oh wow, really? I did not see that coming," was her exasperated remark. "Seriously."
He chuckled, placing his hands in his pockets. "You will be alongside others throughout the night. But your group, together with the orchestra and the school choir, has another special task," he said with his voice taking on a more serious tone, "for you, my dear Hosokawa-san, have just been given the honor of preparing the opening number for the Winter Ball."
"What?"
The stunned look on her face only earned her more chuckles.
"You're kidding, right? Do you realize we'll have to re-do everything? At least to make it more fitting for the event!" The shock was evident in her manner – she did nothing to hide it, which she thought was only so for the greatest of all details had been concealed and just recently revealed to her. She sighed when he said no more.
The two resumed their walk and silence took over once again, and Risa took the time to recompose and ready herself. They were nearing the room when Atobe stopped walking. He glanced back at her and she found a smirk firmly planted on his face.
This can't be any good, she thought while raising an eyebrow at him.
"So you liked me, huh."
Damn.
*.*.*.*.*
"Why don't you sit with me for a while, Keigo?"
Risa never did fully understand how or why their relationship came to be, but she was grateful nonetheless. The early morning jogs when both were not yet too tired from the previous day's work, lunches spent on the rooftop, day-long chats at his or her house on Saturdays without training, and the rare occurrences when he'd walk and not drive her home were things she took pleasure in.
But both were busy people and confusion and non-alignment of schedules were normal, which is why each took it upon them to understand and all was easily pardoned.
*.*.*.*.*
Risa was frozen in her split, right arm raised up high and her back arched as she waited for her cue. For some reason, the dances always seemed longer to her when actually performing in front of an audience on stage. Her eyes scanned the faces she could make out in the dark of the banquet hall, and she found herself actually searching for someone in the crowd.
You idiot, why would you want to see him, of all people?
It was then that the teasing yet still meaningful words of her best friend echoed in her mind. "Old feelings return when prompted to," she mumbled before finally spotting him somewhere in front seated beside Oshitari and Shishido. He glanced her way and smirked seeing her staring and she quickly diverted her eyes in response.
But what else can I do when these feelings are not reciprocated?
Caught up in her thinking, she nearly missed her cue. Snaking up from her spot on the floor, she executed the last few eights of the dance together with the eight other girls she placed in the list handed over to Atobe earlier in the season. The lights dimmed and the spotlight shone over her as she glided to center stage and as the choir and the orchestra played the final notes of Vince Guaraldi's "O' Tannenbaum".
It was her moment. A pirouette, a pitch, a compass turn, and then the lights dimmed and the music faded, soon replaced by loud applause from the audience.
"That was an interesting piece."
And there came the voice that belonged to the person she had been trying so hard to push to the back of her mind.
"It was much more pleasant watching it being done on stage. The technicals were brilliant, were they not?" He continued with a self-satisfied smile on his face.
Of course they were brilliant, she thought wryly, they belong to you, and everything that belongs to you just so happens to be as brilliant as you. But she revealed none of these thoughts and simply nodded in reply.
It was then that it hit her – his arrogance and pompousness was exactly what made her fall for him before. He was confident in what he did and she found confidence in herself through that, and she soon gratified him and developed some sort of admiration from him, albeit the sort that is easily misinterpreted as something else.
She fell for him then and she hadn't gotten back up. She tried to push away the thought, tried to deny it, but pushing away something standing right in front of you isn't exactly an easy thing to do.
"It was hard you know," she said all of a sudden, "this one especially. When you've exhausted nearly all ideas to put together numerous other dances, it's hard to come up with a better one."
"Well, that was surely no problem for you." She was about to protest had he not continued, "If it were, you wouldn't be worthy enough to be called captain."
She turned away to hide her now reddened face, not knowing how she was supposed to respond to that. Should I be witty with him? Should I be grateful for his commendation? She struggled with her own thoughts.
Oh this is stupid! Why am I even thinking of all this? This kind of thing should be coming to me naturally.
"I'll be going now, Atobe," she excused herself, deciding that leaving it as it was would be the best thing to avoid embarrassment. She moved to leave, but he was quick to stop her.
"Going where?"
She marveled at him for a while. Be it in giving orders or asking questions, in motion or not, it amazed her how he was able to do everything keeping calm and in stride.
"I suppose you don't have a partner," he continued when she didn't reply, "you will come with me then."
"What?" Funny how her usually smart sentences were always reduced to that one word in question whenever he said anything. He chuckled, seeming to have also taken notice of her more than usual lack of words.
"I'm sorry, I don't believe I'll be going with you right now," she called to him after mustering enough courage to, "Aiko and the others saved me a seat, it would be rude of me to not show up." And I would rather be with them than be rattled nervous to the bone with you, she added silently and, leaving him a curtsy, left before he could say any more.
"Risa! Over here!" Aiko called, drawing her attention to where she and her other friends sat. "You were amazing."
A laugh escaped Risa's lips, "It wasn't that much, really. But thank you."
"With all that practicing you did, I thought you'd have more than one number," said Yoshimi, another friend of theirs, from the opposite side of the round table after noticing that Risa was dressed and made up in a deep red evening gown.
"I do," she nodded, "but that's for later on, so I did a quick trip to the bathroom and changed. I still have my stage make-up on though, it's terribly hard to wash off so I didn't bother," she added with a groan. "You don't think it's too much, do you?"
"I don't think so. The shades are light anyway."
"And it suits you and your dress!"
Risa smiled at this, sat down, and enjoyed the following moments with her friends.
It was a grand celebration just as it always was, but what made it different was that students were much more involved – the orchestra members and singer shifting and taking turns performing, the culinary clubs serving the deserts, the different artists in school responsible for the design and decoration of the hall – and it was obvious that everyone was enjoying.
Risa stood up from the table shortly after the group of friends finished their meals. "I should start preparing for our next number," she said.
Aiko threw her a disbelieving look, "Seriously? You've just eaten. You don't want to be known to current and future Hyoutei students as the-stupid-girl-who-threw-up-in-front-of-everyone-because-she-danced-right-after-eating, do you?"
Yoshimi and the others laughed, "Aiko!"
"I'm serious!"
"Aiko, you doof," Risa had to laugh at this to. "We aren't going on immediately. We need the time for meditation," she joked.
She left them then and made her way to one of the backstage rooms. She looked around to observe all the other students as she walked and it was amazing, she thought, how everyone – even the most reserved and quiet, the most non-sociable – managed to look so stunning during that evening. In the midst of all this admiring she did, she failed to take notice of the people standing in her way and ended up bumping into one of them.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," was her quick mumbled apology. The boy, as she concluded this person was since he was wearing a tux, was rather tall and she could tell he was quite well-built based on the hardness of his chest upon impact.
"Ahn, you'd better watch where you're going," said the boy with a voice she knew all too well, "It can be dangerous, you know, especially with you in heels."
She looked up at him and her knees threatened to buckle – he was far more handsome in a suit and with his hair so in place, and she thought it funny how she hadn't noticed it when they spoke to each other earlier that night. Another battled ensued within her mind.
Think of something to say, think of something to say!
Nothing came.
"Ah… Atobe."
His smirk appeared. He knew well the effect he had on girls and Hosokawa at this moment was a victim to this as well. But he said nothing to mock her. "Come with me, Hosokawa," he dropped the –san suffix some weeks before the ball, and his words came out more like an order, which it technically was. "You will be preparing for the next dance in a different venue," he added when he noticed her hesitation to follow.
She followed him almost instantly when he mentioned it – or when he mentioned anything related to her dancing at all for that matter – and his curiosity prodded him to ask, "You obviously love your dancing, Hosokawa. Why do you?"
"Just because I do," was her curt reply. Her smile grew as she followed him, "It is… much like how you love tennis, Atobe."
Risa continued to follow him through the maze of people and pillars, around and out the grand ballroom, and her mind went back to her earlier thoughts of him. He was well sought-after, it was obvious, and surely he could easily have his pick of girls.
Mm… I didn't think backs could be this sexy.
She quickly dismissed the thought and continued to scold herself for it, not noticing that Atobe had led her to a porch quite improbable to be the venue for her next dance. It was only when they finally stopped walking that she noticed this, and the first thing that came to mind?
Run. Run and get away.
And that was exactly what she planned to do. "Excuse me, Atobe," was her mumbled goodbye.
But he stopped her, just like before, and just like all those other times she tried to get away from him. "You're forgetting, Hosokawa. I told you this is where you'll be having your next dance."
"Well you obviously haven't been telling me the truth. I don't see how," she said, staying but not looking at him.
The smirk never left his face. "Ahn… Think harder, why don't you." He pulled her into an embrace, one hand below her right shoulder blade and the other clasping her left hand.
Their sudden close proximity surprised her, but that's not saying she didn't welcome it. She would never want Atobe to know but she did. This was why she wanted to run away and this why she always did – because staying always made her fall a little harder, a little deeper into whatever chasm he was drawing her into.
"Hosokawa," he said, his voice soft but hard, "your next dance is with me."
The music was light but still audible from where they stood. The area was slightly dark, lit only by what little light escaped the grand ballroom, but it was quaint in its simplicity and had a wonderful view of the Atobes' gardens.
It was there that they danced, waltzing in squares around the balcony. When the music stopped, they didn't, still swaying while waiting for the next tune to play. But neither said a word.
That is until the slight superciliousness of Atobe got in the way. "You liked me?"
Risa grit her teeth. "Oh great," she muttered under her breath. But hey, it's an improvement, she thought, it's the first time he's gotten me this annoyed in days.
He laughed, quite haughtily, when he saw her reaction. "So," he continued, lowering his voice and holding her a bit closer, "do you still?"
She looked down, if it was any more possible for her to turn her head any lower, feeling her face heat up. "What's it to you?"
His smirk only grew.
Feeling just this, she pulled away, "Don't play with me, Atobe."
"I'm not."
"You are."
"See it how you want to, but I wouldn't be doing so if only you hadn't been running circles around me for God knows how long."
Risa was confused, it was written all over her face and she didn't care.
"You know, even a god can get impatient sometimes."
"And I suppose you're referring to yourself when you say god."
"Ahn, a quick thinker you are."
"Get over yourself." It wasn't the first time Risa said this to him. It happened quite often, really, but she never meant it more than she did now.
"I would answer you straight if you did the same," he said, pulling her close again. The smirk was still there but his eyes were more serious, "Do you like me, Risa?"
Risa had never been more scared of a boy in her entire life than at this time, with him. She knew she should've been jumping up and down in joy for even just being alone here with him, but she was scared because this made her hope and this made her all the more doubtful. She could have smiled because hidden behind that smirk could be the things she's always wanted to hear from him, but she didn't because a much bigger chance lay of him laughing and mocking her at whatever she might possibly say.
She didn't want to take that chance.
But for some reason, she did. "I do," she whispered.
"I didn't quite hear you there."
It angered her so much. She was sure then that all this was to make fun of her, to tease using the knowledge he had of her liking. "Are you deaf?" Her antagonism showed in her voice, "I do! Okay? I like you. Are you happy now?"
"Actually, I am."
…Did I hear that right?
"Because, Hosokawa Risa," he said, completely ignoring all the fury behind her words, "I happen to like you, too."
They stayed there for some time, not necessarily dancing – they were just there, she taking in his words, and he patiently waiting.
Risa embraced him then, startling him somewhat, but he returned the embrace. And she smiled, yet she couldn't help but ask.
"Why?" She mumbled to him. "Why me?"
*.*.*.*.*
Neither of them were big on their displays of affection, though extremely tactile both tennis and dancing were, but they were always there for each other when they needed to be, at least that what they believed. But the definition of one thing can always vary from one person to the next, and what is the subtle love of one can so easily be interpreted as nonchalance – either that or it really was nonchalance.
"You know I can't, Risa, both my parents will be home today. And I'm finishing up my history report. You have yours to do too, if I may add," Atobe Keigo replied once he saw her offer was serious, "Tomorrow, maybe? Or some other time."
Risa was more inclined to smile upon hearing this – he lacked, yes, but he found ways to make up for it and he almost always did.
Almost.
Atobe was wonderful. He was fond of receiving but he knew how to give, he was always a show but had the means to back it up, he was sometimes amiss but he knew and admitted when it is he was.
He was wonderful – to others, yes, but to her no longer so much.
It never dawned on her till then how much more empty she felt, and the smile on her face quickly faded.
How many times did he bother to call and check up on her? How many kisses had they shared? How many talks were had over simple cake and tea? How many hopes and wishes were dedicated? How much did he bother to teach and how many did he care to learn?
These, she believed, and she was most probably right, were countable on her fingers and toes.
And now how many times had he left her?
It was a simple matter, really, one that asked only for patience. But a girl can only take so much. And it's quite a scary thing when one realizes that it's these little instances that gather up and hit a person much harder than anything else does.
Which is why right now, she couldn't stop the doubt from coming. Were those words said merely out of necessity? Or did she have enough courage to believe they were true, and that every other thing like it that has been said was true too?
Hosokawa Risa was happy, indeed she was. She was happy knowing that she could elicit an apology from his lips as easily as she could a playful insult, that she could coax him to save just as much as he would spend, that she had the power to keep him quiet and reserved yet had the capability to drive him off his wits – as he did she.
She was happy knowing that she was the only girl aside from his mother that could truly say he was hers. She was happy to have him.
But looking up at him, she was certain that though she was happy, she did not have the courage to believe in all those things and in the prospect of her happiness ever lasting.
"Do you love me?" She asked out of the blue.
This would have determined it all, whether or not all the things running through her mind could be proven true, and this scared her the most.
"Don't ask such things," he said rather coldly, as if the topic provoked him.
"Keigo," she continued, ignoring his last order, "Prove to me that this is a relationship worth keeping."
Prove it, she said to herself more of as some sort of consolation.
Prove it so I don't have to be so terrified of you.
Prove it so I know I haven't got any reason to.
Prove it so I can keep loving you, because, as it turns out, I really do.
"Will you walk away?" He looked straight at her as he asked.
She said nothing.
He said nothing.
Walking away, just as he said, seemed very inviting at the moment – and it was just what she did.
Hello there.
I had initially intended that this be a one-chapter story - which a lot of the things I write usually are, seeing that though I am fond of long and quirky and well-plotted stories, I just don't seem to have a knack for writing things like that.
Well anyway, this story is obviously much longer than the less-than-5000-words I thought it would have. Seems like I got a little too carried away writing it.
I have yet to finish the next part. As you may have noticed, this one was very centered on my protagonist. I thought it would be best to build her up here. The main story will eventually develop.
Review if you can! It would be nice to hear from you all. This story is quite young and I'd love for you all to give me your ideas.
