I sit here on the steps, thinking about all that has happened over the past few weeks. I just want all of this to be over. I want Cutler Beckett's and Davy Jones's reign of terror to end once and for all. I want Will and Jack to forgive me. I want to get back to the land of the living. I feel like I have been living in a nightmare. First, my wedding was interrupted, then I was put in jail, and Will is press ganged onto the Flying Dutchman. Jack has a debt to pay, Cutler Beckett is hanging everyone under the sun, James betrayed us, and I don't know how my father is doing. Will doesn't trust me. Jack's not speaking to me. It's all just too much to bear. For nights, I have contemplated telling Will my awful secret. That I had kissed Jack and chained him to his death, but my guilt would not let me. It's my burden to bear, not his.
I love Will, truly and deeply, and I know he would be crushed if he found out the truth of what I did. Of course, I didn't need to tell him. Jack did that for me. I could hardly say I blamed him. It was his way of getting back at me for what I did. Ever since we boarded the Pearl, me and Jack have been ignoring each other for obvious reasons. Why would he want to talk with the person who left him to a terrible fate? Plus, he was too busy arguing with Barbossa over who was captain of the ship. Seeing Jack alive in the locker, I was so relieved! I just wanted to run to him, embrace him, and tell him how terrible I felt over what I did. I couldn't. Not with Will watching. Will is the man I love, and that will never change, but had I run to Jack, Will would think there was something between us, and there isn't. I care for Jack a great deal, but not the same way I care for Will. I hear footsteps approaching, and quickly wipe the tears from my eyes. I sure hoped it wasn't Mr. Gibbs, for I wouldn't know what to say to him. Jack was his best friend, after all.
To my shock, it was Jack! Standing right beside me. He had a smug look on his face. In one hand, he held a bottle of rum. After being in this horrible place, one couldn't possibly blame him for wanting to indulge. I was half tempted to get a bottle myself. Gathering my wits, I stood up, and faced the man I killed.
"Good evening, Captain Sparrow."
"Miss Swann. Or is it Mrs. Turner?"
"It's still Swann. As you can see, me and Will aren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment."
"Shame." Jack took a swig of rum, and then held the bottle out to me. I nodded my thanks, took the bottle from him, and took a big swig myself. I used to think rum was a vile drink, but I have grown quite a taste for it.
"Are you all right, Jack?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well... you were in the locker, and I have been told that it's torture. I was just wondering."
Jack nodded his head, and leaned his back up against the post.
"Aye, it is indeed, torture. Not phyiscal torture, but torture, none-the-less. Being trapped for days on end by yourself, with no food or water or rum, staring at the sea, not being able to sail on it, and having hallucinations, is not exactly my idea of a good time."
I bit my lip to keep myself from crying again. I have cried enough, and I had to stay strong and hold my guard. Pirates don't cry after all, and isn't that what I was now? A dirty, lying, cheating pirate?
"I'm sorry, Jack."
"Thought you said you wasn't."
"I lied."
"I see."
There was a pause. Before I could say anything else, however, he spoke.
"You did what was right by you. Can't expect more than that."
"But was it really right? I sent you to a horrible fate! I tricked you. I told you I wasn't sorry when I really was."
Jack nodded his head and caught me by surprise, when he stroked my cheek. I loved Will, but Jack's touch tended to give me goosebumps.
"It was the right thing to do. I could have easily yelled down for Mr. Gibbs to free me from those shackles, but I didn't. I heard you tell them I elected to stay behind. You've painted me a hero, luv. Even after all I have done, you still painted me a hero."
"You are a hero, Jack. You came back to the Pearl and was going to leave it for the Kraken, while everyone got away. You could have easily kept rowing away, but you didn't. I'm proud of you for that."
"You still felt the need to shackle me as Kraken bait, yet you call me a hero."
"I was scared, Jack! I didn't know what you were planning to do! We had to get out of there, and I knew that the Kraken would get everybody if you came along. We were running out of time, I had to do something!"
At this, Jack smiled.
"You didn't have to do anything. I was going to stay behind. I felt it was time to face me fears. You just beat me to it, is all."
Oh. I didn't know whether to feel better or worse after hearing this.
"So... you forgive me?"
Jack, again, caught me by surprise, when he cupped my chin in his hand and leaned down about to brush his lips against mine, and by God, I was going to let him! It seemed like he was going to forgive me. The way he said I did what was right by me, and he wasn't yelling at me or threatening me, and he was about to kiss me! I closed my eyes, waiting for his kiss, but it never came.
"No."
With that, Jack left me standing there alone, and headed back up on deck.
THE END
