He could barely look at her as she crouched in the corner of the cold metal cell he'd had her put into. His men had caught and escorted her to the ship hours ago but it had taken him this long to bring himself to face her. The first time since they'd crossed sabers on Starkiller Base.
She'd won that battle but only because he'd been severly weakened by blood loss from the laser bolt he'd taken in the side from the Wookiee's crossbow. Plus the fact that his master had demanded he bring her before him. Alive. A sharp stab of grief briefly contorted his features before he forced the look of love and betrayal on his father's face and the roar of grief torn from the Millenium Falcon's copilot to the deep recesses of his mind and heart.
Yet another sign of his continued weakness, his master would admonish him. The bouts of doubt seemed to plauge him even more these days. No matter how hard he tried to kill any remnants of the man he used to be. Had Han Solo's death been in vain after all?
Torn apart he'd told the smuggler. Even more so now.
A quiet noise forced his thoughts back to the present and to yet an even greater disturbance to his peace of mind.
Rey. The scavanger orphan.
She was staring at him from beneath lowered lashes, her beautiful features tightened as she realized his attention was once again focused on her. Her chin tilted up defiantly as she met his gaze full on, lips firming in anger. That face had haunted him from the moment he'd met her and the pull he couldn't explain only grew stronger the more time he spent in her presence. She was an unwanted and confusing distraction he couldn't afford.
There was no denying the force flowed through her in incredibly strong but untrained waves. failed mindprobe had unlocked something untapped deep inside her. He'd felt her powers unfurl, felt her presence hum throughout his body in burning tendrils. It was something he had no words for. No experience to match. His mind shied away from the word that echoed through his mind.
Bond.
His feet propelled him forward a step before his mind was even consciense of the decision to do so. She slowly stood and braced herself for an attack, shoulders pulling back in anticipation. When he made no further move to approach and only stared intently, her brows drew together in puzzlement as the tense silence spun out between them. Had he expected anything else? How could he after she had seen him at his worse. His weakest. A monster she'd spat at him with such loathing.
A monster.
Unsure why, he'd removed his mask before entering the cell and now found himself regretting the decision as her sharp gaze traveled thoroughly over his bare features. She was too intelligent for her own good was his initial thought, until he began to notice a subtle weakening of her defenses. Curious he grew deathly still as he noted the teltale signs she was unwittingly displaying.
Her gaze froze as it settled on the long scar that ran across his face. A reminder of the fierce battle they'd fought in the bitter cold. A badge of dishonour he was forced to carry for the remainder of his days. Hux's eyes had glistened with glee and disgust when he'd first glimpsed the wicked wound, the same look that no doubt would be mirrored in the girls.
Only it wasn't. Her eyes seemed to reflect a confused mixture of guilt and sorrow and her lips opened on a ragged inhale of breath. His lungs froze as her hand lifted, fingers trembling as if she fought the desire to trace the raised edges of the damage she'd inflicted. His breath caught in his throat as he watched her internal struggle. He longed to know what thoughts flew through her mind as she studied him but he dare not subject either of them to another probe. Her expressive features flitted between a myriad of emotions before settling behind a mask of cool indifference and rebellion.
"I thought after our last meeting mine would be the last face you wanted to see," she spoke in a quiet voice laced with derision.
It stung. The reminder of how this girl, this untrained scavenger had beaten him down as if he were the callow padawan. He'd paid for his abject failure tenfold. Weak, exhausted, his blood a crimson stain on blinding whte snow. His defeat at her hands had paled in comparison to what had laid in store for him once his wounds healed enough for him to stand and face Snoke for the first time. Unimaginable pain.
A choked gasp of anguish snapped his attention back to his guest. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as she stared at him in mute horror. Was that a feather light brush he felt through his mind? Impossible.
"What is that?" she whispered, a thread of fear finally coloring her voice.
He refused to answer. Couldn't provide her with an explanation because he was as lost as she was. They were both standing on ground just as trecherous as they had that day in the snow. Both in grave danger of plummetting off that cliff to an unknown fate. His silence seemed to flame a spark of anger, her teeth gritting as she took an abrupt step toward him.
"How could you? What kind of monster can look his father in the eyes and kill him so brutally? So coldly?!"
Rage colored his words as he forced them from between clenched teeth. "You know nothing about me. About him. How long were you with him? A few hours? Days? You bought into the myth, the legend. Just like everyone else. He was weak and a stranger. Don't you, an orphan, think to judge me!"
The force of his anger seemed to force her back a step. Stubborn innocence had her speaking further.
"He was your father. Family. Blood. I've met your mother. Do you have no idea just how lucky you were? People who loved and cared for you? I would have given everything to have that."
Blinded by the anguish her words incited his feet carried him forward until her back hit the wall and she was well and truly cornered.
"If anyone should understand I'd think it would be you. Orphaned at such a young age on that barren planet. Left behind as if you were no more important then a piece of rubbage. The people who were suppossed to care for you, love you, taking off without a backwards glance." His chest rose and fell as he allowed her to see what was in his eyes. "They cared about their own interests more then they did me. An inconvenience. That's what we were to them. Different set of parents yet the same result."
She stared up at him mutely, a negative shake of her head halting before it could even be completed. His anguished words hung thickly between them as they locked eyes. The silence became uncomfortable and the tremors that shook his body had him moving away until he dropped down to sit on the hard cot as far from her as he could get. When she finally spoke again it was in a hushed and subdued voice that barely carried across the small room.
"What now? What are you going to do with me? What do you want?"
A humorless chuckle slipped through his lips as he stared at her in confusion.
I wish I knew little scavenger. Force help me I wish I knew.
