Growing up with Helga hasn't been easy. In fact- most of the time it was downright horrible. But through every nickname, cruel prank and poorly-timed joke; through every single emotionally painful thing she tried to humiliate me with, I prevailed as I always did.
With blind optimism.
It was with that blind optimism, which Gerald fondly called 'Happy Ending Syndrome,' I was able to look passed all of Helga's antics and grew up pretty well.
At least, I THOUGHT I grew up pretty well.
But then again, I also thought Helga G. Pataki might make a great date to the school dance this weekend, so I guess you could say my thoughts were a little shotty.
Not that I WOULDN'T go to anything with Helga it's just… Helga is, well, a little feisty and unpredictable. So how would she react to my asking her out anyway?
How would ANYONE react to my asking Helga out? If I could even get the words out, how would I react to asking her out? What would I even SAY?
"Hey, Helga, you look really nice and full of pink. Like wearing a lot… of…" I shook my head and stood up from where I'd been sitting in my desk's chair. Tiredly, I stopped mid-room to run my hands through my messy hair in sort-of frustration.
"Helga- Hi -it's me," I tried again only to scoff out a laugh to myself, "It's me of COURSE it's me. She knows me." Letting out a sigh, I dropped my hands to my sides and took a deep breath while shutting my eyes in concentration.
Mr. Dill, my public speaking professor, had us practice exercises in his class where we imagined a crowd in front of us while going over our speeches. He thought that if we could think through possible outcomes while speaking, we could get rid of the fear we had for public settings.
As I stood in the middle of my room with my eyes closed, I pictured Helga before me in the hallway just outside our science class which we shared.
I pictured her walking into the room as I followed behind her. On most days Helga wore jeans and a tshirt so I pictured her in that with her beanie fitting snug on her head; her pigtails poking out from the bottom. We walk into the room and filter into our seats- mine right beside hers as it's been all semester.
Slowly, I inhale another deep breath and imagine myself twisting in the seat so I can look at Helga who is pulling out her notebook.
"Hey Helga," I greet and imagine her turning to look at me over her shoulder.
"Hey yourself footballface," she says with a smirk on her lips. "Something you need? Class hasn't even STARTED yet."
Good possible answer, Helga always says snarky comments when I try to make conversation, I told myself with a small laugh before resuming my concentration and picking up where I left off.
"Right, right, I just- well I uh-"
"Spit it out, Arnoldo, Criminy I don't have all DAY, ya know." She cuts me off in my head and I try to compose myself as I imagine her usual glare staring me down in my thoughts.
"I guess I just wanted to-to… Look I know it sounds weird but would you maybe want to go to…" Stopping mid-sentence I walk over to my bed and, with a grunt, I dropped down onto it face-first with an exasperated sigh muffling into the sheets.
Who was I kidding, I couldn't ask HELGA out. Even if she DID say yes, why would I WANT to go to a dance with Helga? She'd probably only make the whole night miserable at best. I'd spend the entire time fighting with her about nearly everything like we always do.
But maybe THIS time I could stop the fighting. Maybe this time, if I could just get passed that fear of what everyone would think, I could open my mouth and just say, "Look, you can call me names, tease me, and humiliate me in front of everybody I know, but I know and YOU know that there is someone in there we BOTH like. That I even like… a lot."
I sighed and rolled over onto my back as I lay on my bed and stared up at the window above me.
"It's just Helga," I said to the sky above that had morphed into a bright shade of orange from the sun's setting for the day. "After everything you've been through, what's the fear in Helga? What's the fear in her answer or her opinion or ANYONE'S opinion on me asking her out?" I asked the clouds as they drifted in the sea of orange above me.
Softly, I shut my eyes once more and focused on imagining tomorrow in science class- Helga beside me readying herself for class like we had on so many other days.
With a deep breath, I spit out the words I'd been so afraid of saying.
"Helga," I say and she turns around to look at me quizzically.
"Football-Head," She greets while crossing her arms over her chest. "What can I do ya for?"
I smile to myself before saying boldly, "I was wondering, if you didn't already have a date that is, would you- would you want to go? To the dance I mean. With me?"
Opening my eyes, my grin widens on my face. I'd been so afraid, so fearful of what it was Helga would say or how she'd react or how my CLASSMATES would react and now that I'd finally said the words (even if it WAS just to my ceiling)…
I didn't even care.
Seemed like Mr. Dill had been right about that exercise all along.
