Disclaimer: we own nothing, but our own characters Red vs. blue is owned by Rooster Teeth, slender man belongs to the internet, and Kool-aid man belongs to.. Well, who ever he belongs to.
Kisa: Welcome everybody to the Red vs. Blue Torture show!
RvB: Cast: O.o
Omega Ravenger: (over loudspeaker) Truth or Dare sis, get it right.
Kisa: Oh! I mean, welcome to the Red vs. Blue Truth or Dare show!
RvB Cast: Right…
Kisa: Anyway, I'm Kisa, and this is my co-host, Omega Ravenger!
Omega Ravenger: (teleports into room) Sup bitches.
Kisa: So, before we begin the guidelines/rules!
Omega Ravenger: #1: Yaio and Yuri are accepted
#2: Anything goes (Knock yourselves out :D)
#3: Be creative! And have fun!
#4: Authors are included, although we have some discretion in what we accept.
(Turns to cast) You do have the option to decline the challenge, although you will have to endure a punishment. (Grins evilly)
Kisa: On with the torturing!….I mean show, Omega Ravenger?
Omega Ravenger: Since this is the first chapter, we'll do some random shit Kisa's friends came up with.
Kisa: For our first dare, Sarge?
Sarge: Reporting for duty!
Omega ravenger: Your dare is to either destroy, burn, or blow up-
Sarge: Please be Grif! Please be Grif! Please be Grif!
Grif: That's cold dawg!
Omega Ravenger: All of your shotguns!
Sarge: frozen in shock
Omega Ravenger: uh… Sarge?
Sarge: WHAT? Fuck No! Give me the punishment!
Kisa: YAY! Torturing! Sarge, you can either have Omega Ravenger, or me. Your choice.
Tucker: Hmm… Either be punished by a weak midget, or some cyborg that's stronger than Maine… the choice is obvious.
Sarge: I choose… Omega Ravenger
Kisa: Aw, Damn it! Oh well, Prepare your weapon
Omega Ravenger: (shifts left arm in weapon mode) One hour of torturing, coming up!
RvB Cast: (Staring at Omega Ravengers arm) O.o
Sarge: WAIT! No-(Omega Ravenger puts hand on Sarges shoulder while grinning evilly) Meep! (Gets pulled out of room from Omega Ravenger's teleportation)
One Bloody hour later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Omega Ravenger: (hovers in with bloody armor) Well, it looks like that's it for Sarge this chapter!Kisa: Moving along, Grif?Grif: Sup?
Kisa: your dare is to switch places with your best buddy! Simmons!
Simmons: Why me?
Grif: Why you? What about poor old me? I have to actually work! A-And think!… the horror…
Simmons: Wait a minute, I just have to sit around, and do absolutely nothing!… sweet!
Omega Ravenger: Since you've switched places, Grif will have to agree with Sarge… Grif?
Grif: (twitching on the floor)
Kisa: Hmm… Two people who hate each other's guts, having to agree and work together. Now where have I seen that before? 1*coughcoughpuppyshippingcough cough*
Omega Ravenger: Didn't even tell him Sarge is dead…
Grif: Wait? Sarge is dead! Well, my job just got a whole hell easier! Now for my Simmons impersonation: Boring, unuseful dialogue inserted here
Caboose: Oh my god! He's perfect!
Tucker: since when does Simmons where orange armor?
Simmons: What? I don't sound-(interrupted by Omega Ravanger whispering something to him before teleporting out of the room) hmm you know what? Fuck this! (Leaves room)
Doughnut: Where's he going? And for that matter, where's omega ravenger?
Grif; who knows… Boring dialogue inserted here.
Lopez: Simmons fue a resucitar a Sarge y Omega Ravenger fue a buscar a un traductor Inglés para españoles. Para mí (Simmons went to resurrect Sarge and Omega Ravenger went to find a Spanish to English translator)
Grif: I agree Lopez, they are being dicks.
Lopez: Ustedes son (You guys Are) (gets hit from behind) assholes
Omega Ravenger: (appears behind Lopez)
Grif: O-Omega Ravenger, how longer have you been there listening?
Kisa: If you were paying attention, you would've noticed that he was there the whole time installing a translator in Lopez.
Omega Ravenger: Now, about that comment earlier, wanna help Kisa?
Kisa: (browsing the lists of mental asylums) Huh? Oh, No, I'm going to get some one, but our uncle should be here right about…. Now!Slenderman: Hey guys!Omega Ravenger: Hey, slender! Want some soul (holds out Sarge's soul)
Simmons: (comes in) Hey, I need that! (Grabs sarges soul and walks out)
Slenderman: Nah, its okay, all those little children are hell on my cholesterol.
Tucker: Huh, Slenderman their uncle? That explains so much.
Omega Ravenger: Hey, Slender, Wanna help torture?
Slender man: (Grins evilly) Of course I do! How could anyone miss such golden opportunities?
Omega Ravenger: Kisa did
Slenderman: (Gasps) H-How could any kin of mine do that? You're not my niece!
Kisa: (shows him the list of mental asylums) But I was looking for my bff!
Slender man: (Glances at list) Oh, you mean that nice blond kid who blew up your ship?
Omega Ravenger: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on a sec, since when do you have a best friend?
Kisa: I think you got the definition of bff wrong bro, not best friends forever, best fucking friend!
RvB Cast: We're still here ya know!
Slender man: Oh yeah, aren't I suppose to be torturing the orange one with Omega Ravenger?
Grif: Oh no!
Tucker: Oh no!
Caboose: Oh no!
Kool-aid man: (bursts through wall) Ohh yeah!
Kisa: (staring at kool-aid man) Is that, by any chance, blood? If so, can I have some?
Kool-aid man: Ohh Shit! (Gets beaten by Kisa with a baseball bat)
Kisa: (tastes the kool-aid) HEY! This isn't O-positive!
Caboose: And that's why the kool-aid man never shows on TV any more.
Tucker: Dude, we have a TV?
Caboose: Yeah! Though it's completely useless, I mean, why would any watch a bunch of girls take their clothes off?
Tucker: Say WHAT? (Runs into other room) Oh yeah, I'm in heaven!
Omega Ravenger: Hmm, probably should've deleted that porn channel…
Slender man: Aren't we supposed to be torturing someone?
Omega Ravenger: Ohh yeeah, (shifts into a mecha dragon)
Washington: What the fuck is with this guy?
Slender man: (throws Grif into air) Catch!
Omega Ravenger: (Jumps into air and eviscerates Grif)
Kisa: Why the fuck did I buy you a tank, if you never use it to kill people?
Washington: You got him a tank?
Kisa: What? It was for his sixteenth birthday, and we couldn't afford a car.
Church: So let me get this straight, your parents couldn't afford a car, but they could afford a tank?
Kisa: But not just any tank! It was customized model, and I paid for it myself… along with Melvin…
Omega Ravenger: (looks up form torturing Grif) Hey! I do to use it, for spare parts, besides, I got Melvin out of the death sentences for your sixteenth yet I haven't seen him around!
Kisa: he's in a fucking asylum! Of course you haven't seen him!
Church: Who the hell is Mel- (interrupted by Kisa)
Kisa: Shut up, their getting to the good part (points at slender man and Omega Ravenger torturing Grif)
Sarge: (Walks in with Simmons, stares at Grif dying) this, is the happiest day of my life.
Simmons: I hope you don't mind, but I found Doughnut trying to escape, so I brought him back…
Doughnut: (staring at grief's body) NO, Grif why'd you do this, we could've talked, I could've helped,
Kisa: Does he realize that Grif will probably be back next chapter?
Omega Ravenger: in that case he won't need this any more! (Holds out Grif's soul)
Kisa: NO, bad omega, eating souls don't solve your fucking problem!
Washington: he has a problem?
Kisa: He has a problem?
Omega Ravenger; I don't eat em, I just absorb them and add them to my reservoir, rendering me invulnerable
Sarge: so you're going to become a fat, lazy, guy in orange?
Caboose: I thought he already was?
Everyone: SHUT UP CABOOSE!
Kisa: 1) High five if you actually know puppyshipping is!
Omega Ravenger: And great job if you don't
Kisa: Please read and review!
