"So I want to tell you a story in three parts," Nobunobu slurred as he indicated an empty saké cup, "Part one is called 'Weakness,' part two is 'Foolishness' and part three is, 'Failure'."
"I-I don't understand, naturally the first part should be called, 'Feebleness,' so then you have a theme going," interrupted an equally tipsy Sakamoto, "and then the fourth part can be called, 'Fu-'"
"Stop! What if the author didn't put a high enough rating on this fic to allow you to use such vulgar language!?" Blurted the Shogun with expedient urgency.
Sakamoto released his characteristic, uproarious laughter, "Shogun-sama," his speech hitched with the constant need to chuckle, "You, who would call for assassinations and you who would mistreat courtesans, you are concerned about a little foul-mouthed banter?"
"It's about etiquette," he replied with perfect posture and a not so perfect smile, "besides, I don't want to be that man anymore. I was drunk on something far more intoxicating than alcohol."
Sakamoto smiled to himself and hiccupped, he was the embodiment of merriment and a like a stereotypical cartoon drunk. He reached for the nearly empty saké bottle and poured the remaining drops into his company's cup.
"So, that first…" the shogun cleared his throat, "that first.. punch, by that Yato brat di-"
Sakamoto's boisterous laugh interrupted the story. He took an ample swig of his own saké, with some trickling down the corners of his mouth, and following a gulp said, "Now I wasn't there for it, but that was pretty funny, you have to admit!"
Nobunobu's cheeks flushed from a pale pink to a deep red, "How was that funny? I didn't even deserve that one and I almost died!"
The shogun threw back more saké, like a shot of liquor, and indicated the empty cup yet again. "As I was saying," he continued, "having my face smashed in like that, well, it made me confront my own weakness."
Rather than the ring of bellowing laughter, silence prevailed. Sakamoto crossed his arms, nodded his head, and peered over the frame of his glasses. He gave his full attention over to the shogun's words.
Noticing the silence, Nobunobu resumed his story, "But the recognition of my personal frailty was meaningless when regardless, I was propped up as ruler of this country," he paused and sighed, his focus blurred, "It didn't even matter how many people called me a 'puppet' or a 'tool'. In fact, the more they flung their insults, the more I felt vindicated."
Silence returned. Sakamoto brought himself to his feet. He wobbled only slightly while doing so.
"Well, I might get sick, but it looks like we need more booze. You're only a third of the way through your story and we have an empty bottle."
Nobunobu sat quietly while he watched the tall, eccentric man search for more alcohol.
"No need to stop your story on my account, I'm still listening," Sakamoto said as he surveyed the disorderly room, "Now if I can't find any more of my own saké, we can always take some of Mutsu's."
Though Nobunobu wasn't wholly against the idea of borrowing alcohol from that woman, he had a slight fear of her brutal wrath. Dismissing the thought, he began again, "So part two, Foolishness. Your silver-haired comrade was the culprit."
"Oh! Yes! Kintoki? Or is it Gintoki…" Sakamoto stumbled through the words as he returned with an oversized bottle of junmai.
"Sakata Gintoki," the Shogun stated in a deep tone, "I can never forget that man or his name. To think, he's just an ordinary human…"
"Kintoki's no ordinary human! He's a far bigger fool than you or me!" Sakamoto grinned as he opened the bottle and poured another round.
"Gintoki," corrected the shogun, "He's your friend and you can't even get his name right."
"But there is so much more that's important to a man than just his name. Isn't that right, Shogun-sama?" Sakamoto swayed as he sang out the words.
Nobunobu quickly downed the recently poured cup of saké and signaled for another. Sakamoto obliged while his laughter grew even louder.
"So, this Sakata Gintoki, as his fist met my face and threw me across the room, somewhere in my empty heart, I knew I was a fool. I visited the Cabaret that day thinking, knowing, that my treatment of those women and that poor cop was within my right. I thought the commoners would look at me with fear and awe...but I was absolutely wrong. They were disgusted."
Silence fell again. Nobunobu divulged more private thoughts than he ever intended to, yet he couldn't blame the alcohol alone. He had been wasted many times in his life, and many of those times he expressed nothing but anger and entitlement. The foolish smile Sakamoto wore coaxed him to feel at ease. Slowing his intake of saké, he drew to the conclusion of his story.
"And you know the third time, I was clocked in the nose, you were there. That young punk with the headphones sent me flying, and shattered my teeth, yet again," he indicated a missing tooth with his tongue, "and for an instant I knew, I was a failure."
The shogun narrowed his eyes. Through his inebriated thoughts, he suddenly felt he should stop confessing to the strange man, and former enemy. Yet, it was because of that man, that he was able to see a flicker of redemption for himself. He sighed and stared at the spinning ground, as though it would respond with wisdom.
Sakamoto nodded vigorously and urged for the continuation of the story, "So? Go on. What happened next?"
"In the moment when I was at my lowest, when I finally recognized that I am a failure as a leader, you happened," he answered quietly with his eyes still interrogating the ground.
For the umpteenth time that night, the room echoed with Sakamoto's guffawing. After a long bout, he wiped a tear from his under his glasses and said, "What's that Shogun-sama? You hitting on me?"
Nobunobu furrowed his brow, causing deep lines in his forehead. Unable to hold his scowl straight, his eyebrow started to twitch uncontrollably, until he finally joined Sakamoto in his reveling. After a few minutes of laughing and catching his breath, he returned to his platonic confession.
"Sakamoto-san, your undeserved kindness towards me was something I had never experienced before. I thought that you must be a fool of unprecedented proportions," he took a deep breath before continuing, "But then I had the opportunity to witness you as an admirable leader, and I was forced to ponder a terrifying comparison between you and I: He's an idiot, and yet he's a good leader. I'm an abject failure of a leader, so what does that make me?"
And now for a short epilogue:
After a few more bottles, the two men passed out on the cold floor. Some hours later Sakamoto forced the shogun awake when he jolted upright mumbling to himself, "H-hold up. Why is this fic called A Revolution in Three Parts? Clearly your story had four parts and the only part of it that really contributed to your personal 'revolution' was the part about me!"
Nobunobu struggled to force his eyelids open. "That's what you're concerned about?" He questioned as he wiped drool from the corner of his mouth, "Clearly it's because the author was trying to be clever and was too stubborn to change the title when it didn't really work out."
