Teen Titans Talent Theater

Apparently it is customary to include a note here about how I don't own the Teen Titans. Very well; I do not. Nor do I own the songs featured in this story, though they are both public domain and therefore owned by no one. Any non-traditional lyrics are the exclusive property of Beast Boy and Jericho.


Beast Boy tapped his fingers on the microphone, silencing the chattering, laughing audience. "I'd just like to say thanks to everyone for coming out tonight, and especially everyone who performed for us. You dudes and dudettes rock!"

Claps and cheering answered back from the group of official and honorary Teen Titans. The first annual Teen Titans Talent Theater, brainchild of Beast Boy and Jericho, had been a tremendous success and everyone—former skeptics included—was glad to applaud the evening.

"But now," the green teen continued, "Robin is telling me that it's time to wrap up and send everyone home. Before we go, though, your humble Masters of Ceremony," he gestured toward himself and Jericho "would like to take our turn."

The would-be commons room of Titan's Tower had been turned into a stage by hanging bedsheets from the ceiling. From behind the impromptu curtains, Jericho now produced his guitar, and was immediately greeted with more applause. Everyone in the audience knew how well the young mute could play, and the idea of him finishing out the talent show made perfect sense.

"Okay, we all know what he's gonna do," Cyborg hooted, "but what are you still doing up there, BB?"

Here the changeling grinned, one ivory tooth glinting in the jury-rigged stage lights. "I'm going to sing."

His announcement very nearly broke up the show right then and there. The audience had already cheerfully endured more than a few "questionable" talents that night, including but not limited to a lengthy Tamaranean poem from Starfire and the "comedic stylings" of Mas y Menos. But singing from Beast Boy? Only the fact that Jericho was already beginning to strum kept the crowd from scattering to the four winds.

Eventually the audience settled back into silence, though whether it was from fear or courtesy was tough to tell. Beast Boy, knowing that he could lose them at any second, stepped back to center stage beside his accompanist, cleared his throat, and looked as serious as a boy with green skin and pointed ears can be expected to. Jericho repeated the first few Celtic-sounding chords one more time, and then:

In a neat little town they call Belfast
Apprenticed to trade I was bound
Oh, many an hour's sweet happiness
Have I spent in that neat little town.
But a sad misfortune came over me,
Which caused me to stray from the land,
Far away from my friends and relations
Betrayed by the black velvet band!

Her eyes they shone like diamonds,
I thought her the queen of the land.
And her hair, it hung over her shoulder
Tied up with a black velvet band.

Most of the watching eyes had been squinting in fretful anticipation of something unpleasant, but now every pair was open with naked amazement. Beast Boy wasn't professional by any means, but his soft, far-away singing actually wasn't that painful to listen to. In fact, alongside Jericho's skillful guitar, it actually sounded… pretty good….

I took a stroll down Broadway
Oh, meaning not long for to stay
When who should I meet but this pretty fair maid
Come a'trapsin' along the highway?
She was both fair and handsome.
Her neck, it was just like a swan's.
And her hair, it hung over her shoulder
Tied up with a black velvet band.

Her eyes they shone like diamonds
I thought her the queen of the land.
And her hair, it hung over her shoulder
Tied up with a black velvet band.

The green Titan was holding the microphone with both hands, looking out into the audience and pausing to make careful eye contact with the different girls in the crowd. Even the tough ones, like Jinx and Bumble Bee, caught themselves feeling a tiny twinge of surprised attraction as they stared back at him. But little Melvin was the girl who giggled out loud when his smiling eyes fell on her, so she was the one Beast Boy walked over to.

So I took a stroll with this pretty fair maid
And a gentleman passing us by
(Well I knew that she meant the undoing of him
By the look in her roguish black eye!)
A gold watch she took from his pocket
And slipped it right in to my hand
And the very first thing that I said to her:
"What's this?" to the black velvet band!

At this point, Beast Boy reached into his suit coat and drew out a gleaming pocket watch on a length of metal chain. It was obviously brass rather than gold (probably picked up from a local pawn shop) but the illusion was certainly good enough as he looked at the glittering bauble with feigned curiosity before kneeling in front of the still-giggling Melvin and lowering it into her little outstretched hands.

Her eyes they shone like diamonds
I thought her the queen of the land.
And her hair, it hung over her shoulder
Tied up with a black velvet band.

Here the tempo of the song slowed significantly, and the music became soft as Jericho cut back to only the essential chords. For the most part, only the sorrowful voice of Beast Boy could be heard.

Seven long years penal servitude,
I spent down in Van Diemen's land.
Far away from my friends and relations…
Betrayed by the black velvet band!

The last line brought a surge of volume from both performers. Jerhicho began to play a sophisticated variation on the basic theme, pumping one knee in time to the music while Beast Boy again changed the tone of his singing, to an emotion of cheerful resolve.

But her eyes still shine like diamonds,
I still think her the queen of the land!
And the years; I would spend all twice over
To return to the black velvet band!

All through the last chorus, Beast Boy had his eyes fixed constantly on the right side of the audience, where Raven was sitting. She hadn't participated in the Talent Show, but was every bit as surprised by this last performance as the rest of the crowd. And now, as Beast Boy began to walk her way, the blue-robed sorceress felt her cheeks warm. The changeling was reaching once more into his jacket, this time producing a black ribbon, perhaps the length of his forearm and wide as two fingers.

Her eyes, they shone like diamonds
I thought her the queen of the land,
And her hair, it hung over her shoulder
Tied up with a black velvet band.

As the song ended, Beast Boy held out his hand, with the length of fabric dangling invitingly. Slowly, almost as if she wasn't sure what she was doing, Raven opened her own hand and held it out, letting the ribbon fall neatly into her palm.

The song was over, and the audience exploded into cheering applause. Beast Boy and Jericho took their places center-stage once more, bowing and waving before throwing an arm over each other's shoulder and grinning. It was hard to tell where in the room the call started, but soon shouts of "Encore! Encore!" were filling the air. Even Robin, who had been coolly silent for most of the night, grinned and added to the petitioning.

The two performers exchanged glances, shrugged, and returned to their positions, now to redoubled cheers and a standing ovation that had now been going on for nearly a full minute. Only Raven was quiet, still staring down at the velvet ribbon that lay across her fingers….

"You guys sure you can stand another one?" Beast Boy teased.

No one would have been surprised to find out that the people across the bay in Jump City could hear their cheers of encouragement. With feigned nonchalance, Beast Boy nodded to Jericho, who struck up a new set of introductory chords.

Farewell to old Ireland,
Goodbye to you, balastrant.
No time to look back,
Facing the Wind,
Fighting the Waves….


The first song is a slightly modified version of "The Black Velvet Band" and the second is "Paddy's Green Shamrock Shore." Incidentally, The High Kings do an excellent rendition of both, and the style they use is the one I would think for Beast Boy and Jericho's performance.