Chapter One: A Reunion
I'm just your average, ordinary kid. Okay, that's a lie but that fits since most kids are liars. Sometimes stuff happens around me that just isn't normal. That's okay, though. I'm pretty much used to it. My story starts on a Wednesday night. Wednesdays are supposed to be innocent. Nothing ever happens on a Wednesday. This time everything happened on a Wednesday. Wednesday was the day my life fell apart into so many pieces that all I could do was sweep them into a file cabinet in my head and wait for someone to help me put them back together.
My mom and dad were great people; kind, loving, smart. We weren't rich but they always found a way to get me anything I really needed. I felt safe around them. We were all sitting in the rather small living room of our apartment. I was doing math homework, my dad was balancing the checkbook and my mom was watching the news. I still remember the sounds, the gasps of surprise and the sound of my dad fighting the person trying to steal from us. There was a loud shot and a surprised expression lit my dad's face before it went completely blank. My mother looked shocked then launched herself at the man, screaming. She was soon dead, lying next to my father, their blood mixing. I didn't move. I knew they were gone I just couldn't move no matter how much I tried.
"Sorry kid," the guy said in a cold voice as he took money out of my dad's wallet. He left soon after when he heard the sirens getting closer. He didn't kill me even though he probably would have had I not been still and quiet. The police burst into the room less than five minutes later. One of them cursed when he saw the bodies then he saw me. My feet were up on the couch, away from the blood.
"Kid?" he asked gently. I looked at him and I know my expression must have been frighteningly blank.
"They're dead," I said in an eerily calm voice. I was even scaring myself.
"Yeah, kid, can you tell us what happened?" he asked.
"They died."
He sighed in frustration. He must have seen that he'd get nothing else for me. One of the younger men picked me up so that I wouldn't have to walk through the blood and told me to get some clothes and stuff since they would have to gather evidence. I packed all of my jeans and t-shirts in a duffle bag and threw in my toothbrush and hairbrush as an afterthought. I paused at my bookshelf. I pulled out my favorite, a book of fairy tales my mom gave me for my tenth birthday and set it in the bag along with the money I had hidden in it. I looked around one last time, knowing I'd never be able o come back, and left my apartment for the last time.
I stayed at a neighbor's house until dawn when I bought a bus ticket and left town. I remembered my cousin from a long time ago and figured maybe I could stay with him for a while. Maybe he would throw me on the streets though. There was no way to tell. I really didn't care either. Sooner or later I ended up in his town, walking through the streets, kicking a bottle ahead of me as if I had nothing better to do. I guess I didn't. I didn't smoke very often but right then I really craved a smoke. I got a few strange looks from people I passed but I ignored them. It was probably because of my clothes. I wore jeans while girls around here mostly wore skirts and blouses.
"What are you doin' on this side of town?" a guy asked rudely. I glanced at him, sizing him up. Not that I really cared if I got beat up at the moment.
"Walking," I replied in the same calm voice I'd had ever since they'd died. I nearly made me shiver. The boy continued to follow me until I reached the other side of town where he abruptly left me alone.
I barely noticed. I was too busy concentrating on the bottle.
"Hey, babe, you new around here?" a kind voice asked.
"I guess," I said still watching the bottle.
"You lookin' for someone?"
"Yeah, a blonde kid named Dallas," I answered emotionlessly.
"Dallas Winston?" the kid asked surprised.
"Yeah."
"Well, he's probably over at the Curtis' house," the guy answered, "I could show you where it is."
"Thank you."
"Sure."
The guy took me to a house and yelled inside.
"Hey, guys, is Dally in there? Some chick's out here looking for him."
"Yeah, he's here," someone said. Dally walked out eying me cautiously.
"Never seen her before," he said looking me up and down.
"My name's Rayne," I said meeting his eyes with my own. He glanced down at me. Our eyes were the same icy color and though the expression used to be different I had a feeling that now it was exactly the same. My hair was darker blonde than his but it would be easy for anyone to see that we were related.
"How's it going Cousin?" he asked in that cool voice that always used to annoy me. Now I understood it, though.
"Okay," I replied lying as if it was nothing, "I need a place to stay for a couple of days." I shifted my bag on my shoulder. He gave me a sharp look before nodding. He knew something was wrong but I could tell he wasn't sure exactly what it was.
"Darry, Soda, I got a friend who needs a place to stay. Can she stay here?"
"Whatever," Darry grumbled. Dally moved aside so that I could come through the door. I blinked, getting used to the light inside.
"Rayne?" Ponyboy asked excitedly.
"Hello," I replied in the same voice I'd used for the past week. It made me want to run from myself. I felt so disconnected.
"What happened?" he asked sounding worried.
"Nothing," I lied coolly. I was getting too good at that. He didn't believe me, though. I could tell. "Is there a shower I could use?" I asked sick of the stares. I was directed down the hall and went in, bringing my bag with me. I washed my hair and got out, leaving the water on. I dug in a drawer before I found a razorblade. I stepped back into the shower so that if I did anything stupid no one would hear. My hand trembled and I knew that I was going to do something really stupid. I had done this once before, when my friend Burn died in a fight with another guy.
I pressed the blade against my wrist and the tears began falling. I didn't cut deep, just enough to make the physical pain overtake the mental pain. I sat there and let the water fall on my wrist, hoping the blood would stop flowing soon. I wrapped it in a bandage I found in another drawer. I put on a t-shirt and some jeans. I looked at myself in the mirror as I pulled on my heavy leather jacket. I looked pale and scared until I realized how I looked and slid the old mask into place. I couldn't risk them seeing that. They might find out about my cutting and Dally would probably kill me. He acted like he didn't care but he did. I pulled on my boots and went into the living room.
"We're going to a movie, wanna come?" Soda asked not looking up from the T.V.
"Whatever," I muttered trying to keep my eyes open. I always got tired after I cut whether from blood loss or emotional exhaustion I never knew. We sat there watching television for a while before Steve and Two-bit got there. Two-bit immediately zeroed in on me.
"Who's the blonde babe?" he asked teasingly.
"You remember Rayne, right?" Pony asked.
"Little Rayne?" he asked staring.
"Yup," Pony answered.
"Wow, kid, you've really grown up," Two-bit joked. I ignored him until he grabbed my wrist and pulled me up. I cursed loudly as I yanked my wrist from his grasp.
"That hurt, you bastard," I muttered angrily. I was finally feeling something but why did it have to be anger? Oh well, I was glad that I was at least feeling SOMETHING.
Two-bit looked at his hand in surprise as if wondering how he had hurt me. That was when they all noticed the blood on his hand. Damn! I must have bled through the bottom of the jacket. I tried to pretend to be as confused as everyone else but failed miserably.
"Rayne?" Dally asked in a dangerous voice.
"Huh?" I asked feeling like a little kid.
"Give me your arm." I immediately gave him the uncut one. "The other one," he said suspiciously. I pulled away from him until I was at a safe distance.
"What's wrong, Dally?" I asked trying to sound innocent.
"Let me see your arm!" he yelled angrily. I backed away towards the safety of the door.
"I don't think so, Dally," I said nervously.
"Why not, Rayne?"
"I just don't want to," I said still backing away from a very angry Dally. Dally lunged toward me, tackling me to the floor. I tried to roll away but he was too strong.
"Pull her sleeve up," he ordered Johnny.
"Don't!" I yelled struggling even more. I couldn't bear having everyone know what I did. It was just too personal.
"Maybe you should just let her go," Johnny said tentatively.
"If we let her go she won't learn," Dally grunted as I flailed my feet and fists at him. Somehow I got away and hid behind Sodapop. He pulled me in front of him and into his arms. I felt completely betrayed when he wouldn't let me go. Dally took the sleeve of my jacket and rolled it up. The bandage was soaked in blood. I must have cut deeper than I thought.
"They're dead, aren't they?" Dally asked tearing his eyes away from the blood. He knew I would only do this if something were seriously wrong.
"Yeah," I answered not looking at him.
"How?" he asked. I shook my head, not wanting to remember.
"It doesn't matter."
"It matters to me!" he yelled.
"They were shot. Dad in the stomach, mom in the chest. They should have let him take the money like I did. He was just a kid. He didn't want to kill them."
