Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion. Evangelion and it's logos, characters, etc. belong to their rightful owners.
It was another usual day at Pen Pen's cooling storage unit in the Misato household. As Pen Pen slowly grew conscious, the "fridge", or so the humans called it, immediately lit up with his day's mission log.
Mission log 20395:
Objective 1:
a) Locate beer in the fridge
b) Drink a max. of 2 cans
c) Take Tylenol Extra Strength: Drunken Penguin Ver.
Objective 2:
Open the fridge
Find either "Baka" or Misato
Eat Breakfast
Objective 3:
Do whatever
Closing Mission Log 20395 –
It was the average routine his A.I. for penguins he brought from home gave him. Yet he wasn't one to complain because it was a very nice one. He wondered how his fellow penguin brethren were faring so far. At least the other angels stopped coming, though he did remember on how the entire thing started.
-- Flashback --
Pen Pen was chatting with Adam until the booze really sunk in. Suddenly, a crazy and extremely repulsive bet occurred. It was to see who could fart the hardest. They were supposed to fart at the same time, but Pen Pen did a split second too early. Immediately, the Earth had a nuclear winter so powerful, that it turned out to be too powerful. In fact, it sort of distorted time itself. So years later, when those semi-intelligent ape like creatures dubbed Hu-mans came, Adam was as bright as ever with a flashy fart entrapped in ice and then things basically went a little crazy from there…
-- End Flashback --
Pen Pen's head hurt from just thinking about the booze he drank back then, or it could be the booze he just drank while in the oversized fridge. He didn't have a chance to find out as he crashed into the wall.
The first word Pen Pen could think of when he woke up was: OW. Yet he quickly forgot when he looked at the thingymablobarything that ticked like crazy every moment. He immediately dashed into the kitchen but to his dismay, neither human was there. The equivalent of the apocalypse had came for him: NO FOOD! Then again, he could always eat those strange things in the bathroom that had large painted signs saying: WARNING! DO NOT TOUCH YOU OR ELSE NOW GO AWAY! Whatever that meant.
Such a time has never came to him. Even when the angels attacked… He remembered back then….
"Sorry Pen Pen, but I have to go now. I promise to give you something when I come back in, oh, say 3 hours?" Stated Shinji. Just as he was about to go out the door he saw something blocking his path: A penguin wearing black shades standing on a stool pointing at him the twin barrels of a shotgun. Baka immediately dropped his jaw past the floor several stories down through a few cars in the parking lot and to the Geofront. His scream caused an explosion that was thought to be the angel's primary attack.
"I wonder what will happen when he see Rei or Asuka…" murmured Pen Pen who was now completely black and crisp with his shades titled in an awkward manner.
Yet now Baka was nowhere in sight so he couldn't stop him now. Besides, the forget potion apparently gave Shinji some mental troubles afterwards… But food was above all in Pen Pen's world.
Now just so you know, i'm bored near insanity so the following part of the story will have no meaning on the plot ( if there is one) and may be completely insane and irrelivant to Everything.
The following scene will include Pen Pen in a beefed up version of the Battle Armor from some game. The closest thing I can think of it's description is the Heavy Mechs from Mech Warrior, which I do not own or have. It will be about Pen Pen trying to get a higher body count then Asuka when SELEE attacks. If you are not the type that enjoys strong violence and henz ketchup (with garlic powderings) smeared all over the place for no senssible reason, then please DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER OR MY INSANITY STATE WILL DRIVE AWAY YOU, MY READER'S!!!!! ( note reader apostriphy s)
Asuka easily stopped the missle with the battle ship then threw it at SELEE forces, instantly smooshing them all followed by large explosions.
Pen Pen (soon known as Pen2) then teleported into the scene. Yet he was instantly visible and made countless enemy soldiers tremble in fear and aw, and stealing the attention from Asuka, no longer the waay she looked in the anime, she immediatly got a big # on her head.
She then took out 2 rocket launchers and fired at enemy ships and tanks. Pen2 responded by jumping in his and activated the 2 Giant Gattling Cannons he had for arms and sprayed the enemy with 3 meter THICK ( I ment width) rounds. Then he began to catch on by activating his back mini- canons and the shoulder pod cannons. The left fired heavy insenary (firery) rockets that easily melted through reinfoced plating and the right shoulder pod fired heavy plasma rockets. Then Pen2 activated his torso's 360 degree spinning function and sprayed death at the SELEE forces.
Asuka was the red devil and was throughing cruisers around but did not expect that giant thing that spinned while firing at least 6 different weapons to be tat powerfu; and amazingly, every round HIT... though sometimes they hit trees, plants, squerriels, text books, schoolsand such, everyone of them hit something other then the ground.
Then the MP EVAs came with their fancy wings and landed on the Gefront. things didn't look too good then. But Asuka was soo pissed, her EVA slowly grew horns, wings and a tail, not to mention much more bulky and...
Slap!
OW!
(back to the story)
Anywayz, the battle suddenly grew silent, when suddenly the MP EVA's knew they could not win since Pen2 with a machine that wsa practically nothing but armor and giant weapons ( instant magickly replenished rounds) was definietley not part of the script despite how many times that EVA 11 flipped through the papers looking for where it said : "EVA 11 wings snap and lands face first into the ground and gets a hangover fron the party last night." Yet everyone knew that the wings weren't real ( they couldn't afford to buy good wings as their budget just hit $0 when it came to MP EVA 11.) That meant they had only 1 option left... DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION!
The Mp EVAs immediatly jumped on the mats and started dancing when a DJ came from nowhere along with the Earth darkening and a disco ball hanging from the sky.
" That's impossible! It can't hang like that!" Yelled Shinji. "Besides, it-" he never had a chance to finish because he was soon squashed by the angered Pen2 for not making him breakfast.
Immediatly, the EVAs and Pen2 where using PS 2's ( they work a little better)
SLAP
adkfghalhgbnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aebghaeb naeibnhaitbnat uiluilat uiliuaghtbz vn rtnfgsr6jtfntyjkmxy
silence
more akward silence
Plz READ AND REVEIW!!! THIS STORY WILL BE actually SABATOGED THOUGH IF YOU WANT ME TOo BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN WRITTEN BY ME IN AN INSANE STATE OF MIND. BUT STILL READ AND REVEIW!!! IN FACT, I DECIDED TO PUT THIS STORY UP FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON THAT I CAN THINK OF FOR THE MOMENT or probably forever. IN FACT, IT'S NOT EVEN HUMOROUS!
How do you get stuff like astrixes? I do not use Spell Check
Y ME???? (can't take life anymore! wah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!aelgyl b
