Hey guys! Here's a quick note I want you to read. It's really important. Like most of you, I'm back in school and it's been a while but I DO plan on continuing the story though I've been thinking on and off about editing it. Here's a taste of the slight remake of the first chapter. Hope you like it.
(by the way, if you do like it please tell me because I have other chapters edited like this but not as far as I have on the original. I want to know if this was a waste of time or should I keep going)
I Wouldn't Have Even Thought (Edited Version) Chapter 1
Bella's POV
Almost my whole life depended on Jacob Black, my Jacob, my 16 year old best friend, the Jacob that never gave up on me. I love Jacob but his love for me is stronger than anything, even if I would never return those feelings– the kind that meant much more than friendship.
It's been four weeks and I've called him 100 times. I haven't even seen him since and I feel like he's avoiding me. I know he hasn't left La Push but it still feels enough like it. Last time I saw him was that horrible day at the movies with Mike Newton. That day he had gotten sick and Billy claimed he had Mono.
I sat in my room as a lonely feeling crept back into me. I knew it was coming today, like every day before. I lay on my bed trying to push away thoughts about how it seemed everyone loves breaking my currently fragile heart. They leave me to become 'zombie Bella' all over again. The more I thought about it, the angrier it actually made me. It was strange that I was feeling angered though. Usually all I feel is pain and heartbreak.
This unfamiliar emotion made me pick up the house phone and call the Black's residence once more today.
"Hello," a voice answered. It was Billy of course. It was always Billy.
"Hi Billy."
Of course Billy thought he knew what I called for because it was always the same reason. The same reason that caused him to sigh and pause, most likely thinking of an excuse to tell me Jake couldn't come to the phone.
"Bella, I'm sorry. Jake isn't-" I had to cut him off.
"That's not why I called."
To be honest, it was the reason I called but it was only half of what I wanted to say.
"Can you tell Jacob that I'm done trying to be his friend because of whatever reason or problem he has for avoiding me? If neither he nor you can explain why it is that he decided to break a promise, then there is no reasoning of me trying to salvage our friendship."
Without another word I hung up, put the phone down, cracked the window, closed my eyes, and let that strange feeling take over for a while. I mentally noticed that my hands were shaking like I just stepped out of the freezer.
I let out deep breath and thought about the days when I used to live in with my mom. She must be happy. She has Phil and she is now free to travel as much as she wants. I thought about when it was... better in a way.
I noticed that I stopped shaking when my eyelids became heavy. I had a brief thought that I had been shaking because I had the window open. Soon, I drifted and my eyelids blocked the rest of the world from my view to pull me into one of those peaceful dreamless sleeps that I so rarely got to have.
I woke up that morning with the blanket thrown on the other side of the bed. I got up and headed to the bathroom to start my shower. Upon getting out of bed, I noticed that my alarm had not alerted me to get up. I had woken up thirty minutes earlier than I needed to be but I knew there was no way I was going back to my heaven now.
In the shower, I managed not to fall to my death or injure myself in any sort of way. When I realized that the water should be cold by now I didn't mind it because the shower felt exceptionally good.
I walked into my room and huffed as I approached the drawer I detested so much. I yanked the handle with all of the petty strength I could muster out of my weak limbs, letting it come free and hit me square in the stomach.
"Oof," I groaned as all of the air was knocked out of me. I let a few seconds go by, clutching my stomach and lying on the floor before getting up. The pain was much duller than at first. I thought there would be a bruise but as I lifted my shirt over my head, nothing seemed to be wrong. Not a single dark mark was on my skin.
Odd, considering that I used to be 'Bruised Bella' when I was younger.
Shrugging it off as luck, I put on a black tank top under a plaid black and white collared shirt and buttoned it up leaving three open at the top. The shirt was long sleeved but I rolled the sleeves up to my elbow anyway.
I put on simple black jeans and my plaid black and white flats. Deciding to go light with no make-up or jewelry, I matched perfectly. It reminded me of how Alice…
I shouldn't be thinking about them of all people. They're not even people, more like conning blood suckers. They stole my love for them and took off with it. An almost animalistic growl emitted from my throat.
The noise startled me, but also sounded familiar. I shrugged it off
I headed downstairs to find that Charlie had made me pancakes and bacon. Scoping it out first, I realized that none of the food had been charred to a crisp. I guess my cooking skills are rubbing off on him.
I was still feeling a little hungry when I finished but my extra shower time had taken up the few minutes that I had gotten up early.
I went to brush my teeth and slung my now slightly damp hair up into a high, loose ponytail. I grabbed my bag and headed out the door.
I approached my truck and it dawned on me that I left my keys on the kitchen counter. Slapping myself on the forehead at my forgetfulness, I checked to see if I had also left the door unlocked in my moment of stupidity.
I looked up to see I had left my window cracked from last night. If I wanted to get those keys, I guess I'd have to climb the tree. Why does the world hate me so much?
I started going up the tree limb by limb. When I was at the branch closest to my window, I encouraged myself to not look down. Most of mind was screaming at me how stupid and irrational this was. The other part was trying to dominate. It was screaming at me that I was ensured to be fine and to stop worrying. It craved success and excitement.
I reached out to grab the window frame and couldn't reach. I let the better part of my mind calculate if this branch could hold me up.
The part of the branch I was currently sitting on was the thick part. My eyes traveled the branch to the point where I was sure I'd be able to reach the window if I made it there. Though, it was obviously much thinner than I wished.
I tentatively slid up the branch a little more and then suddenly, I fell. I clamped my eyes shut, waiting for my face to meet the harsh, damp ground. When I realized I had stopped falling and that none of my body parts were broken, I looked down to see that I had landed on my feet.
Part of my mind was throwing a pity party, and the other was wiping its brow free of sweat and stress, figuratively speaking.
I sat on the porch in a state of confusion. What made me climb that tree?
The ringtone of my phone snapped me out of my current bewilderment.
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and…
I answered my phone as quickly as possible. It was Angela.
"Hey, want a ride to school?" Angela asked. I laughed.
"Yeah, you have great timing," I said. "I looked my keys in the house." Angela stayed quiet for a while before snickering. I rolled my eyes at her behavior.
"Alright Bella, see you in a few then," she hung up.
…
Lunch came quickly and by then I was starving! For lunch we had pizza and French fries. The fries were slightly overdone to my tastes, but the pizza was extra cheesy.
I got 3 slices of pizza – two from the lunch line, and one from Ben. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy when I dipped my pizza into ranch dressing. "What," I asked defensively, stopping the pizza halfway to my mouth. "It's actually really good, you should try it."
The people at the table just looked away slowly. I had a mouthful of pizza, about to swallow when Lauren asked me something.
"Are you pregnant or something?" she asked. I nearly choked on my food. I went into a coughing fit while she just stared at me for an answer.
"Oh God, no!" I nearly shouted.
"Well, you look bigger, you're eating like a pig, and pizza with ranch dressing has to be some kind of craving or something. It's gross," she said.
For some reason, this made me angry. Not angry enough to curse her out or anything. Just angry enough to make me leave.
I flashed a fake smile and insulted her instead. "No, I'm not pregnant. But, that could have possibly happened to you twice as many times as your age," I said calmly.
I collected my tray, and left everyone at the table gasping, and then eventually laughing.
I went and sat at an empty table, muttering 'slut' under my breath.
I finished eating my food when Mike came over to my table and spoke to me. "Hey. Angela, Ben, Jessica, and I are going to First Beach around 7:00 today. I was wondering if you wanted to come with." I sat there and thought about how long it's been since I had been to 'my favorite little reservation'.
"Sure, I'd love to. Thanks to inviting me," I said. He smiled and left.
