Prelogue
'In the darkest of places your sure to find even the smallest of light', that's what my mother used to say when she tucked me into bed at night.
But I don't think she or anyone else could have predicted the shape our Californian state is in now.
Grey ash fall down like snow, innocent and calm but the embers from which they emerged are nothing like that, the fires have stopped burning but the damage remains.
If I could I'd give anything to have my old life back as an average citizen with my parents by my side but I'm not a child anymore and I know that can never happen.
It's too late for California, I know that as well but it's not too late to save the rest of America and if it could spread any further, it's not too late to save the world.
My name is Swan, it's the name I was given when I joined Pulse. It's a global organisation that fights off infections, diseases and viruses. I became one of their members when I was ten, that's when California began to die.
My parents were the first casualties of the outbreak, I can sill smell the blood my mother coughed up in our kitchen sink that morning. The thought makes me sick to the stomach and even more so when I remember that was the start of her death.
My father caught it not long after she died but we may try to understand and fail at figuring out why the children of my state never caught the infection.
We tried to use their blood as a vaccine but it didn't help. They weren't immune to it, they just weren't catching it.
So after I was an orphan Pulse took me and my younger sister into their care.
They trained us to be soldiers and now I'm running the whole organisation eight years later with my sister as lieutenant.
And I won't rest until this virus has a cure.
Chapter 1
So as I leave my old home, it's the start of our mission for a vaccine.
Pulse is adamant we find it before it's too late and so am I.
"Agent Swan, come in agent Swan, over" the ear piece crackles and fall silent as I climb down the fire escape to our truck
"Here sweetie" I wink at Claw who smiles at my cheeky behavior.
He used to be my partner a few years back but we just weren't right for each other.
"So you are, Sweetie" Thorn rolls her eyes, she's not big on flirting on the job.
"Come on lovebirds, play time's over" well that's a joke that never dies down, given my name is Swan.
"Washington, New York, Miami, Vegas, Texas, California-" Hue, our technician is never off of those monitors, going over the places that have been hit.
"Hue!" Scar puts a comforting hand on her shoulder "You gotta stop looking at those screens"
"Yeah, he's gotta point sweetie, your never away from them"
"Sorry" she replies shyly.
Hawk sits down beside her and puts an arm over her shoulder "It's cool" he says in a soothing voice which makes Thorn go red in anger.
"Where's Shade and Nim?"
Claw shrugs "I dunno, they've not come back yet".
"Hmm, you thinkin' they've finally realized their love for one another" Thorn bats her lashes as she says this.
I feel a surge of jealousy, Shade has always been in my sights and even though I know Nim likes Claw, it still isn't a pleasant thought.
"Swan! Help!" oh no, my sister's voice rings out over our ear pieces.
"Nim? Nim!" I grab a machine gun and a tracking device then bolt to were she is.
When you join Pulse they implant a microchip into your neck so your whereabouts are always known.
Nim and Shade where covering the last of the houses when they disappeared. I find them in a large warehouse that screams danger.
It makes no sense as to why she would come in here...unless
"Swan!" there she is running away from a mass horde of human beings. I've seen this before, when a crisis happens and there's no food, cannibalism.
I raise my gun and shot down all that come my way.
My sister ducks behind a steel set of shelves for cover.
When the last of them have dropped I grab her arm and scream in her face "Where's Shade?" she's panting heavily but manages to choke out "Over-over there" Nim's shaking too.
"Are you alright?" I brush a lock of her hair from her face, I've always felt like a mother to her since our parents died.
"I'm in shock! They-they" tears stream down her cheeks "I had to leave him!" she's crying now
"Nim! Where's Shade!?" I'm panicking now, he was always careful, he couldn't be...
"He had his gun but I dropped mine, I think he's alright but he's injured!" the frail thing in front of me isn't what I'm used to from my sister.
"Shade! Shade!" I scream at the top of my lungs, a groaning sound catches my attention "Shade?" I barely recognize my own voice.
My knees give in beside a worn and beaten Shade "You look terrible" some how I manage to giggle and he smiles too but then winces in pain.
"Are you O.K.?" my hand smooths over his blood streaked face
"They tried to take I bite out of me but got distracted when you showed up, thanks" his eyes are half closed and I literally don't know anything about health care.
"Hue!" I cry into my ear piece
"I'm here!" she and the guys are running towards us, Hue does a quick check up on Nim who's burred her face into Claw's chest.
Claw and Shade are brother's but I tell him to look after my little sister for now.
"You know you really scared me" I admit when Hue tells us he's all bandaged up.
"Sorry" he looks sleepy, probably from the drugs or the exhaustion.
Hawk sits down beside us and tells Shade comforting things, it always amazes me how quiet yet compassionate he can be.
When Shade has finally fallen asleep I kiss his lips while no ones watching "I love you" then I join the others around our little camp fire, we'll rest here for the night and in the morning we'll leave.
I always find it strange how much can happen in one day and I find it scary too.
Chapter 2
In the morning we pack up the truck with whatever supplies we salvaged from the surviving homes and head off.
Claw helped Shade this morning, I had to come here one last time.
It's our old home, the mansion, we used to be the richest family in town until the outbreak.
I don't know if it would be such a good idea to go inside, too many bad memories but...
I have to do this.
I strike a match along the side of it's box and the head sparks then bursts into a tiny flame.
The smell of blood and decay is so strong here I don't even hesitate in destroying the place.
The small orange flames flicker up the broken walls and the embers fall into the smashed windows.
Soon the whole front half of our old mansion is aflame.
I don't bother staying to see the rest of it burn, I still have a mission to complete.
Back at the truck everyone's waiting for me.
They're staring past me so naturally I turned around and saw my home in the distance consumed in orange and red.
"Now California really is gone" my sister says grimly before climbing into the back of the truck.
I slid into the drivers seat and sped out of there as fast as we could go. I hate California now, what it reminds me of.
I ignore the stares I get from my team and just keep my eyes on the split and cracked road.
Grey ash rises up and coats the truck and us in it as well.
The sun looks like it's died out too but I know it's from the smoke, it's affecting the air around California, once we're out of the state it should clear up.
"Swan, we understand" Hue's small voice causes me too slow down my current speed
"I know" I realize but I was just so angry at the events that happened there I forgot about the rest of the world.
"Sorry" I manage to smile slightly despite my condition
"It's fine" Shade groans as he sits up, I catch his eye in the mirror "But you should learn to be more open with you feelings, it'll help the pain".
I can't believe he's giving me advice when he's the one who's injured.
I suddenly feel very selfish "Thank you" our eyes meet in the rear view mirror, those eyes, big and green and so full of kindness.
I fell in love with them the first time we met and my feelings have grown ever since I started to get to know him.
Hue breaks me out of my admiration "Our next spot is Georgia"
"Then lets go" I switch on the G.P.S and follow the road out of California forever.
I don't ever plan on coming back here, California is in the past and Georgia is the future.
Chapter 3
Oh no, this is hell on Earth!
We thought Georgia was a good location because we hadn't been picking up a lot of damage reports but this is like a whole other world.
I've seen and been in the middle of riots before but never on this big a scale.
People are running in a massive swarm, screaming and shouting. We have to do something!
I skid down a steep hill to the main road which I start running down when I feel it. Just a small tingling in the tips of my toes but it quickly begins to rattle my entire skeleton.
My team are shouting to me but it's barely audible with the rumbling in my ears.
The cemented pavements start to split and crack wide open. The biggest one is in the center of town however I still see a large portion of the rioters swallowed up by the earth.
"Swan!" my sister's cry rings out over the noise.
I look back over my shoulder and see her on her hands and knees like I am, it always has fascinated me how alike we both are.
"Nim!" I try to stand then I'm thrown down again by the sheer force of the earthquake.
"Swan!" that's Hue and she hurls a gas mask my way.
She doesn't need to give me an explanation, I'd trust that woman with my life so I slip it on.
Once I do it's then that I notice the civilian's dropping like flies.
Everyone else has gas masks on and are clinging to the gravel to not bounce down the path.
"Guys!" my voice is muffled but it's loud enough for the to hear
"We're fine! Just hang on!" Hue instructs us.
The earthquake lasts for over six minutes and when it subsides my bones are buzzing.
A hand is placed over my shoulder, I look up at Shade and take his other offered hand.
Surprising not only him but myself when I through my arms around his neck.
He smooths his hands over my shoulder blades and squeezes slightly.
I can feel everyone's eyes on us but I don't want to let go.
"Swan" I only pull back to look into his eyes "Are you O.K." he steps back to observe my condition.
"Yeah, I'm more worried about you guys" he smiles at me then kisses my forehead "Well I think I can speak for them and say we're fine" his voice is soft and comforting.
I suddenly realize this is as intimate as we've ever been with each other, consciously anyway.
It makes me feel guilty that he doesn't know. I decide to tell him later, when we're alone.
The gang are all on their feet now still wearing their gas masks.
I turn to Georgia, oh my God, what Georgia?
There's nothing anymore it's just empty, one giant trench were an entire state once stood.
The world really is ending.
Chapter 4
Our trucks radio begins to wail loudly which catches everyone's attention.
I walk over to it and adjust the settings so we get a clear signal playing.
"Break-ing N-news" a female reporter's voice is obscured, it's clear our equipment had been affected by the earthquake, severely.
"A-l-ll hope is lost, Pu-llse has been destro-yed by the riots and earth-quakes. The end of the world is ne-ar".
It cuts out there.
Pulse, the people who took me in, raised me, gave me a purpose, a reason to live is now gone like everything else in the world.
I look at my team's faces that are a concoction of mixed emotions like confusion, shock and misery.
But that's just it, we're all that's left for each other, we're a family and my new mission since it's clear that nothing can change the fate of our world is to protect them.
I entwine my fingers with Shade's "We have to go back to base" they all stare at me "I have an idea"
"But there's nothing left" Claw points out.
"Maybe but the best in the world are here with me now, we can salvage what we need on the way and with what's left"
"What is your plan?" Thorn asks in suspicion.
"Children can get the disease so they aren't the cure, we are"
"Us?" Hue's small voice is unsure
"We've never been threatened with even a misdiagnosis before, WE are immune" I give them a few minutes to let it sink in "I want to expose myself to the virus and see the effects"
they all protest but I've made up my mind, if we are immune I won't let them do this, it has to be me.
Chapter 5
Why I love you
The people I love most in the world are:
Nim
Shade
Thorn
Claw
Scar
Hawks
and
Hue
I've grown up with them, made them my friends, given them my trust and now it's clear I'd die for them.
Shade can't sleep, he's sitting up and star gazing.
His features are highlighted by the moonlight.
It reminds me why I love him because I don't deserve him. Shade's always been kind and gentle and handsome, I'm considered as beautiful by everyone else but I'm no inner beauty.
I consider myself to be quite mean and serious which I was never proud of.
Tonight I'm just thinking my feelings over.
It's not healthy to be in love with someone you work with but I can't help loving him despite the fact that he's practically my brother.
"Shade" my voice is quiet but he hears me because he looks my way.
I sit back on my heels and take a deep breath "Please don't hate me" his brow creases in confusion "I-" this is a lot harder to admit than I thought it would be.
I clear my throat and shuffle next to him "I-kissed you" his face breaks into a wide and amused smile which adds to my embarrassment.
It does nothing better when he starts laughing "Very funny, now what did you really do" a heat wave of anger floods my face, why doesn't he believe me? There's nothing wrong with him that I wouldn't want to.
"Shade" my voice is stern
"Yes-" when his head turns my way I plant my lips on his.
I can practically feel his shock.
But soon he's kissing me back, tenderly just like him and his fingers caress my neck.
Now that he's awake I can fully enjoy my time against his lips, my hands are pinning his head in place.
But I pull away for a moment to say what I first wanted too "Shade" I pant in exhaustion
"Yes?" he replies back with as much exasperation
"I-love you" it's finally out there and i can't take it back
He pecks my lips and murmurs "I love you too".
I stand up off of his knee and pull him to his feet.
I pull him along behind me far away from the truck until it's out of sight.
"Do you mean it?" I look into his eyes, searching his eyes for any sign of doubt
Shade takes my hands and places them over his heart "I love you Swan"
I smile "My real name's Matilda Blake"
"Mines is Sheen Myers" his eyes are full of lust and delight but doubt is no where to be seen.
I pull him by the neck back onto my lips and loose myself with him under the starry sky.
I can honestly say it was the best night of my life.
Chapter 6
This morning I wake up in the arms of Shade and for the first time in years I'm at peace.
A nauseating feeling builds in the pit of my stomach. I have to bolt into a standing position so I don't vomit all over my sleeping companion.
Well I've never really felt this disgusted early in the morning and I don't like it.
I look back at my still sleeping companion, he looks so vulnerable right now.
Fear is lingering at the back of my mind, fear of what? I've always known I loved him so what's to be afraid of?
I quickly slip my clothes back on and return to the truck before anyone wakes up, to be honest I don't want to know what I'm afraid of.
I pretend to sleep until everyone else is awake, then Shade rejoins the group, I feel so guilty I can't even look at him.
That must have been nice, you finally admit your in love and your girl disappears in the morning. Aren't I a nice person?
Which is exactly the reason why I know I don't deserve him.
He won't even look at me, well I think he won't, I can't bring myself to meet his eye.
Hue starts the engine and pulls us back on to the road.
We're heading for New York where our main base is.
Bodies start to pile high when we enter the out skirts of New York.
The smell is toxic, we have to put our gas masks back on to withstand the sheer stench of rotting corpses.
"Oh my God!" Hue swerves out of control to avoid flaming cars, building debris and fallen sign posts. But that's not what's got us panicked, we have to out run a falling sky scraper!
She slams down on the excelerater as the buildings foundation begins to crack and break.
Large chunks of cement and shards of glass rain down around us. The force of it's collapse causes the road to spit down the middle. We sway out of control, the truck topples and flies through the air.
We are pushed through the air by the dust storm it creates.
Once the truck hits ground again everything goes black.
When I open my eyes again I'm on the pavement with everyone around me. Hue is mending wounds whilst everyone else waits for their turn. I try to sit up but a sharp pain shoots through my spin causing me to collapse again.
"Don't move" she warns me a little too late.
The pain intensifies as I gain better consciousness. "Great!" I scoff in anger.
"We should rest for the night, we have to go by foot in the morning" O.K. then now she's in charge? Given my current state that's not a bad idea.
So we salvage what we can from the wreck then settle down for the night.
"Swan" my sister crouches beside me
"Hmm?"
"Can I sleep next to you tonight?" I look up into her big green eyes, the only difference between us, and I smile at her
"Of course you can".
She lies down beside me and I kiss her forehead before falling asleep.
Chapter 7
I wake up to find my team packing away our supplies.
"Rise and shine sleeping beauty" Shade has his sleeping bag rolled up and is staring down at me.
I was about to reply but that same nausea I felt yesterday returned to me, I rolled over and puked on the dry grass.
He threw down his things and crouched to my level "Swan?" his voice is etched with concern
my body is trembling and I hate it. I have a feeling I might know what's happening.
"No Shade, I'm fine" he helps me to my feet
"Swan?" Hue runs over to us and checks me over
"Hue, sweetie, can we talk in private please" now I can see that Shade wants to know what's wrong
"Shade it's O.K., it's girl stuff" he seems adamant but decides to let it go for now so he walks away.
"Swan, what is it" I really don't feel comfortable with all these people concerned over me.
"I think I might be pregnant"
"What!?" her voice turns high pitched.
"Wait did you..." she gestures to Shade and I know she's too polite to say it.
"Yes" I whisper, her eyes widen slightly then she just smiles
"And you might be pregnant" this makes her smile falter
"There's a pharmacy three blocks over" Hue suggest looking back at the others "But it's the opposite way from HQ" I think for a moment, how will we convince them to go that way instead?
I was about to admit defeat but Hue spun around on her heels and announced "Me and Swan are gonna clear the area, you guys just sit tight O.K." her excuse isn't questioned just barely recognized.
"Lets go" she scoops up my machine gun and hands it to me
"Thank you"
"No worries" we whisper before leaving the others.
At the pharmacy there's a bathroom so I take my test into there while Hue takes guard outside.
I won't be long, I wouldn't leave Hue on her own.
Sitting and waiting for the results is agony.
To pass the time I skim read the package again, blue means yes, red means no, got it.
My watch bleeps telling me the minutes up.
Hue is waiting expectantly outside of the bathroom "So?"
I raise the test and stare at the results "I'm pregnant"
Her face falls and for good reasons, not only am I just eighteen, I live in hell!
What kind of a place is that for my child to grow up in?
Chapter 8
"Matilda, you can't do this!" Hue hisses at me when we're approaching our camp.
"Do what?" I snap, this isn't her choice it's mine and it's my babies not hers.
"It's not right!"
"I don't care! Who would want to be born here? I'm doing them a favor!".
Her face twists in disgust "Favor? How would you know? They could be the cure! They might save us one day!" the others have joined our side.
Thorn, Hawks, Claw and Nim are standing on the sidelines unsure of what they should do whereas Shade is holding me back and Scar is holding her back.
Honestly I don't see why considering I've never seen her raise her fist even one but I've never heard her yell before either so I take a cautious step back.
"Hue, what are you guys arguing about"
"Who." Shade corrects him "And who are they?"
We stare each other down for a moment when I break the silence "I swear to god Hue, dare tell anyone and I'll kill them myself!"
tears are streaming down her cheeks, Hue's expression is one of utter horror and then something snaps.
"You don't deserve to be a mother" everyone stares at me and not at this stranger that is nothing like the Hue I know.
Rage boils up inside of me and a let out an ear piercing scream before tackling her to the ground.
What the hell am I doing? This is Hue, sweet little Hue...where has she gone?
I bash her head off of the pavement several times when something hard and pointed strikes the back of my skull.
My left ear is ringing and my vision has blurred.
Hue. I knew it was a bad idea to challenge her, she's gotten me pinned beneath her and she's choking the life out of me.
Scar has to drag her off of me to stop.
I'm about to black out but I still catch a glimpse of Shade hitting Hue.
(Scar's perspective)
"Dare touch her again and it'll be the last thing you do!",
"No Scar, it's alright" Hue tries to calm me down but the swollen, red patch swelling on her cheek only adds fuel to the fire
"I mean it Shade" I'm blocked by Claw
"That's enough" he warns me, we may be best friends but I understand that his brother would be his main priority.
"Oh come on Scar, you saw it yourself! Swan attacked Hue!"
"Yeah? Well your girlfriend should have kept her mouth shut!" Claw has to push me back so there's not another fight.
"Shade, you keep your mouth shut, your not making anything better!" his brother yells in his face
"HEY!" Thorn's voice echo's throughout the surrounding area "I'm I the only one focusing on the main point here? Swan is pregnant!"
finally the massage sinks in with the group
"And it don't take Einstein to figure out who the baby daddy is" she's referring to Shade I realize and we all turn to him.
"Busted, lovebirds" Thorn giggles childishly.
"Wait, everything Swan said was about a baby? She still wants to do this thing?"
"That's why we were arguing!" Hue sighs as if it were utterly obvious which it kind of was.
"Swan doesn't get it! The baby that she's carrying could be our savior! Any baby cold change the world, that's why I disagree with abortion!"
We all look at Swan's motionless body
"Everybody deserves their chance no matter where they're born!" Shade does something unexpected, he pulls Hue into a crushing bear hug and whispers
"Thank you" into her ear.
Normally I'd be jealous but I'll let it go...this time.
Chapter 9
The next thing I know I'm waking up to my sister nursing me.
"Go away Nim" I grumble, my entire neck is throbbing!
I roll over and catch the eye of Hue who quickly stares at the ground "Bitch" I mumble under my breath like a spoilt brat.
"You know you brought that on yourself" I spin back round to face Nim and regret it. A sharp pain runs down one half of my body.
"I can't believe your defending her!" I purposely say this loud enough for her to hear
"She was acting in self defense, you completely attacked her!" now it's Claw pulling one of the girls away from me, not because she'll try to kill me but because she's upset.
"I'm sorry" Hue says which takes me aback.
Sorry? Why would she be sorry, I'm the one who-
Now I understand what Nim was trying to make me understand "I'm sorry too".
When she smiles it's like we've got the old Hue back
"But what if I don't even want them?-",
"Tuff" Shade sit's down by the fire with everyone else, I scoff
"You can't force me to have it-",
"I can and I will" I really hate Shade's stubborn streak. Even though I rarely see it, he makes up for the times he's gone along with any other decision.
"Don't you dare be so selfish" he has a note of impatience in his tone
"You may be carrying it but it's still mine as well" and that's the end of it, I can tell.
It's not attractive at all when he starts acting like-like-like his brother!
I suppose that's his only fault, when it comes to responsibility, you can't shake him.
"And your not going to be a guinea pig either"
"Then we've come here for nothing!" I shout at him
"We haven't" as if on cue my sister dumps a pile of litter into the fire, it shrivels away soundly in the orange flames.
"Like hell! Over my dead body are you using my sister
"Tuff" Nim smirks cheekily at me "I'm doing it anyway"
Now I'm pissed, who's in charge of this mission?
"Given your current state that puts me in charge as lieutenant" she reads my mind, reminding me of our orders.
It's true I've been through a lot in these past couple of days, add on a baby and I'm no longer fit for action.
This mission has turned sour, we need to find that cure, we are the cure, my little sister in charge, my life is spiraling out of control.
Chapter 10
10 years ago
"In the darkest of places your sure to find-"
"Even the smallest of light" me and my little sister finish off our mother's favorite phrase.
She's tucking us into bed, like she does every night, she's so beautiful. Her warm features remind me of all things that are good, there's nothing in the world like this now.
My eyes flutter open as the realization hits me in my peaceful dream.
My hand find their way to my all ready swollen stomach, I won't have this baby, no one can make me.
I honestly don't care if I'm being selfish, no one has the right to plan my life for me!
And my sister won't do this, I will.
I pack up a few essentials in my bag when Shade stirs "What are you doing?" it doesn't take him long to figure it out.
"Sw-" my foot swings round to collide with his head. He crumbles back down again and I actually think he looks peaceful asleep.
I head off in the direction of our main base.
My life has never been about love or hope, it's always been about destruction and chaos.
My child will never be born and I'll never see another dawn. It's just the way of the world and we have to accept it at some point.
Chapter 11
(Nim's perspective)
"Get up! Everyone now!" I demand kicking them awake if I have to
"Jesus Nim! What the hell?" Claw moans groggily
"Up now! Swan's gone" he huffs
"I'm gonna kill that woman!" Claw shares the same frustration towards my sister as I do, it's a comfort really when we've fallen out with each other.
"Are ya kidin' I'll hand ya the gun" Thorn stretches and swipes her shot gun from the ground
I know she doesn't think she's being selfish and I guess in some ways she's not but we're a team! We have to make these decisions together.
We hike over broken towers and avoid a dangerous obstacles like shattered glass or fires, still raging.
Fire has always been a regular thing in our lives, I wonder if it means anything?
The Fire Swan that's what I call my sister sometimes because of it.
I scream in denial.
Hue's foot stands on a flashing metal panel that we all unfortunately recognize, it's a land mine.
Hue is standing on an active land mine
"Sweetie, stay calm and don't make any sudden movements" Hawks slowly bends down to examine the mine
"Hawks!" I practically shout his name for some reinsurance that she'll be O.K..
She rests her hands on his shoulders and helps him to his feet "Sweetie?" her smile is genuine but warn.
"You have to stop her" I can't believe my ears, she can't be suggesting this!
"No, Hue we are not leaving you-"
"There's no time. It'll take too long to defuse, it's time we don't have. You have to get to Swan, she's our leader"
"Your standing on a land mine Hue!" Scar spits at her "We can't just leave!" he looks close to tears.
"They can leave but I'm not going anywhere-" my eyes widen slightly, Hue is crying when she pulls Scar to her lips.
He kisses her softly back but then she pushes him away "I'm a technician remember? I'll figure something out" this time it's not so genuine.
We drag ourselves away from her, out of the mine field but we still heard-
BOOM!
The land mine explode "NO!" I scream until I loose my voice and collapse to my knees.
My best friend is gone, she's...dead?
Chapter 12
I lift my head in time to see a spindly figure tumble down towards us. I stumble backwards and jump to me feet.
She rolls over on her back and smiles slightly.
Hue is caked in dust and blood "You'd think you could jump out of range but...there is no out of range with a mine" she coughs, wheezes and splutters up think clouds of dirt.
"Hue!" I scream in delight
"What the FUCK! Don't do that to me!" Thorn snaps in frustration.
Scar just fell down in front of her as she sat up and he kissed her hard and passionately.
I leaned back on Claw's chest, he entwined his fingers in mine
"Oh come here you!" Thorn, ever forward, throws herself at Hawks who nearly falls back but keeps his footing then kisses her back.
This is nice I think, all of us together in...hell, that's all that spoils it.
That, then I remind myself about Shade-poor guy. My sister sure likes giving him a hard time.
From this field we can see the other side of New York, where our base is, what are we supposed to do?
No one has the right to force this baby on Swan-but...I just wish she'd see beyond the flames of this plague and embrace her pregnancy.
It's the best news we've had in a decade after all.
We start moving again across the weeded and dead field to the other side of the city, to Swan.
Chapter 13
Our base was in total ruin and disrepair. the ceiling had caved in on the ground floor so I had to carefully climb up to the higher levels where our labs used to exist.
Broken electric cables throw free sparks.
It's these same sparks that have ignited several fires in our labs. Certain areas are too dangerous to go through so I must travel around.
The longer route gives me time to think.
And for some reason I'm using the time to wonder what would have happened if my child was born in an ordinary world.
What would I name them?
What would they look like?
What would they achieve?
Anyway, it doesn't matter now, either they'll die with me here, or I'll abort them when I have the chance or abandon it.
It's better than growing up here at least.
The top floor has keeled over but I reach it, this is where the cure was being worked on. Now it's just a waste of space.
I throw down my back pack and get to work, savaging through the filth in search for one of the virus samples.
A whole rack of them is scattered on the floor but they're all smashed or empty.
But as luck would have it, one I find has survived the collapse, I tie a piece of scrap cloth around my arm and insert the needle.
Hot liquid burns underneath my skin and travels to my core, my heart.
It's beat quickens and I can feel it slamming against the inside of my rib cage.
I lose my balance, drop to my hands and knees and pant, cough up blood then black out.
Chapter 14
"Swan" Shade's voice sounds distant as images flash then fade away again "Swan!" this time it was louder but still far away.
I can feel strong arms holdings me, multiple hands caressing my face, see a mixture of peoples faces but I still don't know what's happening.
"Sh-Shade?" that's all I can manage, my throat's on fire, heat's crawling up my back, flushing over my face-
"Swan!" everyone's here, I think, I can here all of them.
They must be so mad at me right now but I didn't do this for them, I did this so we could have a cure.
My vision clears and all I can see is a white light shining through one of the labs windows.
Helicopter blades cut through the polluted air and a man's voice echos above us
"Is anybody down there?" the gang jump up, waving and shouting.
"We're here!",
"Down here!",
"Over here!",
"This way!".
I smile in the knowledge that we've been saved, they'll find the cure, save the world and maybe-
my baby can grow up in a better place.
That is when I realize, I want to be a mother.
Chapter 15
I wake up in a hospital bed with several different tubes sticking out of me.
My head throbs and I feel nauseous.
"Hey" a gentle voice soothes me, I sit up to meet Shade's gaze
"Hey" I reply but my throat is course
"Where are we"
"Civilization" his smile brightens
"What?" what is he talking about, there is no-now I remember the helicopters.
"We're safe?" he nods so I lye back down.
"And the baby?" I rub my stomach which feels concerningly flat, I bolt upright into a sitting position.
"Shade?" my tone is bitter and cold
"That's the thing-" he begins rubbing his neck
"Shade!" I'm warning him now "Where is it?"
"Matilda, calm down" that does calm me down, in fact it shuts me the hell up.
He used my real name. Should I use his?
"Sheen" I begin slowly "Where is my baby?" is this serious? Is that why he used my real name?
"'They're here-",
"No it's not!" I scream feeling my stomach. Tears swell up in my eyes.
Wait, they're?
"How long have I been asleep?"
"You-",
"How long?" I ask sternly.
"Twelve months" this breaks my heart, twelve months. My baby has already been born and I missed it.
Oh well, I think. At least it's healthy and alive.
"Is it a boy or a girl-",
"Both" he answers quickly explaining the 'they're'.
"I want to see them-",
"You helped us to cure everyone" he comes off topic but it's comforting to know that I didn't risk my life and my babies life for nothing.
"Good, now I want to see them" I repeat in frustration
"Of course, if you think you're ready-",
"Sheen!" I'm warning him again.
"Right" he leaves the room for a moment. A year, a year?
Is everything back to normal? No of course not. It'll take a very long time to repair the damage done to America.
What about everyone else? Where are they?
Sheen returns holding two babies in each arm.
They may only be three months old but they're growing fast.
I take them from him into my own arms, they're so beautiful, they really are.
"What did you call them?" this surprises him "Sheen, I wouldn't expect you to wait for three months to name them" I reassure him.
He exhales in relief "He's called Dylan and she's called Yasmin"
"Yasmin?"
"Is that O.K.?"
"It's fine! It's just...it sounds like my sister's name. It's perfect" I snuggle Yasmin and Dylan close to me.
"She's the oldest" I smile
"You know we should have seen this coming considering my mother was a twin and we're both twins" he shrugs.
"I wouldn't mind either way" Sheen admits stroking their hair
"Where is everyone?"
"Helping to rebuild San Francisco" panic shots through me
"I don't want the old mansion back" I tell him
"We understand, we weren't even thinking about going back after it's finished"
"You weren't?"
"Of course not!" he kisses my forehead.
"So the virus is gone?"
"Mostly, there's still a few affected areas but all in all it was a successful mission" I smile again, this is perfect.
My love, my children, my world.
Chapter 16
"And that's our love story" I finish off by kissing my husband
"No way all that happened!" Dylan protests
"Yes way, young man" his aunt sits down beside us with her family.
"It's the truth ask any of your friends parents and they'll tell ya. This place was wiped out when we were teens" Sasha(Thorn) confirms.
"That's unbelievable!" Kelly(Matilda and Sheen's third child) gushes with wide eyes.
"I know, it's hard to think that America used to be the pits of hell!" Roxanne(Claw and Nim's eldest child) scoffed looking around her.
"Did all this really happen guys?" Chloe(Claw and Nim's second child) narrow's her eyes at us
"Yeah or where you all high on ecstasy?" Jade(Hue and Scar's eldest child) snickers.
"You may laugh missus but it's all true"
"Hey! I thought that I was the oldest! I certainly look the oldest" Roxanne points out
"I know but we only told other people that" she folds her arms crossly.
"So how did you find love in all that darkness?" Sylvia(Thorn and Hawks' child) asks us.
I smile as my mother's words come to mind "Well-",
"Even in the darkest of places your sure to find even the smallest of light" my sister finishes for me.
This is paradise, here with my friends and family, I guess my mother was right after all.
The fire's have burned out but their mark on our world remains.
And you may forget the Fire Swan but she will never forget how she fought for you to live your futures.
I now see that my life is full of love not darkness.
