Lament (one shot)

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket and its characters do not belong to me, they are the property of Natsuki Takaya. I'm just borrowing them for a while...

Pairings: none, unless you really wanna read into it...it's not shounen-ai, but could be read that way if you like. *shrugs*

Warnings: none

Spoilers: er, none that I know of, but takes place sometime after the anime.

A/N: Anou...this is my first Furuba fic, so please bear with me. And some of it might be a little OOC, so... please don't hurt me...o.O Again, this is not meant to be a shounen-ai fic, but that's just my personal preference...could be read either way.

Comments and (constructive) criticism are welcome. Flames will be used to melt all the damn snow outside my house...

bold=emphasis

italics=flahsback

//this//=thoughts

"Next time, just stay home, baka neko!"

"Oh yeah? Try and make me, kuso nezumi!"

Tohru sighed, looking worriedly back and forth between the two boys. Unbeknownst to either of them, each had decided to go pick Tohru up from her part-time job that night, and had only run into each other outside the building itself, Yuki taking the usual route and Kyou using a short cut he knew. Needless to say, neither were too thrilled about this, resulting in another of their blow-out arguments.

As they finally approached their home, Tohru stopped suddenly, as something caught her eye. "A-anou..." she stammered. "Hatori-san's car..."

Yuki and Kyou paused mid-insult and looked up. Sure enough, Hatori's car was parked outside the house.

Yuki blinked. "Huh. That's odd...Hatori's not one to make social calls very often."

Kyou snorted. "Meh, that idiot Shigure probably just fell down the stairs or something and made a big fuss, as usual."

"Oh no, I hope he's okay!" Tohru exclaimed.

Kyou sweatdropped. " I'm sure he's fine..."

"...Yeah..." Yuki agreed. It wasn't terribly unusual for Hatori to stop by nowadays, and yet...he couldn't help but feel a little anxious. Something just didn't seem quite right.

"Tadaima" he called out softly as he slid open the front door.

Silence.

All three looked at each other, a little uneasy at the unusual--no, abnormal--quiet resonating throughout the house. Usually, the dog would have given some sort of playful or teasing response by now.

"Shigure-san?" Tohru called uncertainly.

Muffled sounds came from the main room. Cautiously, the trio followed the noise to its' source: the main room. As they approached, Yuki could feel his stomach knotting. Something was wrong...very wrong...

Gulping, he slid open the door, only to find a very tired-looking Hatori attempting to comfort a sobbing Shigure. At the sound of the door opening, Hatori looked up.

"A-anou..." Tohru began.

"What happened?" Yuki demanded, his unease growing.

"Yuki..." Hatori trailed off, eyes filled with sorrow. Yuki took an involuntary step back upon seeing the other man's expression.

//Oh God. Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God.//

" Yuki..." Hatori tried again, clearing his throat and suddenly looking him in the eye, "there was an accident...I..Aya--" he broke off, his tone faltering.

//Oh God, oh God no, please no.//

"Ayame's dead." he choked out. Beside him, Shigure only cried harder, burying his face against the other man's shoulder.

Yuki stared, eyes wide with disbelief. No...there was no way, it couldn't be true, it couldn't...he couldn't be...

Beside him, Tohru let out a small gasp, then covered her mouth as tears began to stream down her cheeks. Kyou stood on her other side, mouth gaping open in shock. He shook his head slowly. That couldn't be right...it just couldn't be..."How...?"

"Drunk driver." Hatori replied with difficulty. He sighed, removing his glasses to rub his eyes. "I'm sorry." He said, looking up to stare straight at Yuki. Actually, the mouse realized, all eyes were suddenly on him, waiting for some sort of reaction.

"A-ah." he managed numbly, after what seemed like an eternity. "I understand." He then turned slowly and made his way up the stairs to his room.

"Yuki-kun..." Tohru sniffled.

Hatori sighed heavily. "It's okay, just leave him be for now. He's most likely still in shock."

"But", Tohru protested, wiping away some of her tears, "he shouldn't be alone. When Mother died, I--" she sniffled, "I didn't want to be alone...I wanted someone...I wanted someone to--" she broke off, rubbing hard at her eyes. "Kyou-kun...would you--"

He looked up.

"Would you...do you think you could...would you go make sure he's okay?" she finished.

Kyou blinked, confused. "Me? Why me?" Yeah, he felt sorry for the guy, but what could he possibly do? "You should go. You always know what to say." //Not to mention he hates my guts//, he thought to himself.

Tohru shook her head, still sniffling a little. "No, Yuki-kun doesn't need words right now. He needs his family. Besides..." she looked down at her hands, "besides...I can't..."

Kyou continued to stare at the girl, confusion ever-present upon his features. What did she expect him to do?

"Onegai?" she begged, eyes pleading.

***************

Yuki slid his door closed silently and sighed, leaning against it and slowly sliding to the floor as he took in the news.

Ayame...his brother...his brother was gone.

He closed his eyes, trying to make sense of the words, but his mind still refused to acknowledge any truth in them whatsoever.

He knew how it must have looked, just walking out like that, but...but they'd all been staring, waiting, feeling sorry for him. He just couldn't take it anymore; he'd had to get out of there. Even now, in the supposed safety of his room, the words, the faces, still penetrated his thoughts.

He glanced around desperately for some other refuge, some escape, anything at all to get these feelings to stop. He paused, his eyes finally coming to rest on the window across from him. Yes, that would do...

****************

Kyou sighed, making his way up the stairs to his rival's room, still uncertain of why he was even doing this. Then he remembered the look on

Tohru's face, the expression of shock on Yuki's face, and how the other boy had left without a sound. He remembered his own mother's death...

Stopping outside the room, he took a deep breath, then knocked softly. "Oi, Yuki."

Nothing.

Kyou knocked again, a little harder this time. "Oi!"

About a minute passed before Kyou actually slid the door open himself.

Stepping inside, he looked around, uncomprehending-- the room was empty, the mouse gone.

Where could he have...? Kyou wondered, until his eyes finally noticed the window before him...

The open window.

Kyou paled. Surely...surely, he hadn't...

Feeling a sudden panic, he hurried to the window and stuck his head out, looking down.

Again, nothing.

Now he was really confused...if not just a little relieved. Where else could he have gone?

A sudden noise from above got his attention. It sounded like it was coming from...the roof?

Kyou looked up. How had Yuki gotten himself up there? He glanced to his left and sweatdropped slightly as he noticed the ladder leaning against the side of the house. Yes, that made sense. He scowled. But who had left it there in the first place? He paused. Ah yes, it was him...

Reaching for the ladder, the cat managed to swing onto it, then climbed it to the roof, following the sounds. Hauling himself up, he found himself staring at the familiar silhouette which sat there in the darkness, knees drawn up to his chin and...sniffling?

"Oi." he called out softly.

Startled, the usually alert Yuki jumped slightly, then rubbed his sleeve furiously over his eyes. "What do you want, baka neko?" he spat, although, Kyou noted, none of the usual malice or venom laced the words. Instead, they sounded drained, tired.

Kyou sat himself down--keeping his distance, of course--and shrugged. "Tohru was worried, so...yeah...she asked me to come see if you were okay."

There was a pause. "....oh."

An akward silence loomed over them for several moments before Kyou shifted, uncomfortably. "So, uh...are you?"

Yuki looked up. "What?"

"Are you okay?"

Yuki gave a small, bitter laugh. "What do you think?"

Kyou shrugged. "Well, I dunno. I mean, it's not you two were real close or anything...meh, I thought you hated the guy."

Violet orbs flashed with anger as Yuki whirled to face him. "That's not true!"

Kyou blinked. "It isn't?"

"Of course not! How can you even say that?!"

"It's just--I thought--"

" No, you didn't think!" the mouse exploded, " You never think, do you? All the time, you think you know everything, but you don't! You don't know anything! Especially about me or my brother! I didn't--I don't--hate him! I never hated him! I didn't understand him, but that doesn't mean that I hated him! He was my brother! I could never hate him! And I--I never--" his voice finally broke, "--never got to-- tell him--" he took a shuddering breath, "Now I--I can never--" he paused, as tears slowly spilled down his pale cheeks.

Kyou stared at him, dumbfounded and at a loss of what to do. The kuso

nezumi...was crying? Yuki--cold, impenetrable Yuki--was crying?

The redheaded boy slapped himself mentally. Of course he was crying! He'd just lost his brother, for crying out loud. Even if he had never really known him, he was still family, and for the Sohmas--especially those cursed by the spririts of the Juunishi--family was what was counted most. It was all they had...

Kyou looked at the crying boy beside him, unsure of what to do. Tohru had been convinced that he could somehow help, but he highly doubted that a pat on the head and a simple "There, there" would suffice. When it came to times like this, he was simply no good at thinking of anything appropriate to say. Not like Tohru. She always knew exactly what to say to make others feel better--

"Yuki-kun doesn't need words"

Tohru looking down at her hands. "...I can't"

"Just leave him be"

" I didn't want to be alone...I wanted"

"Just leave him be"

" I wanted...someone to..."

Looking at her hands. "...I can't"

Shigure burying his face against Hatori's shoulder.

" I didn't want to be alone"

"Just leave him be"

//No...he's always alone, isn't he?//

Kyou blinked, as this realization dawned on him, as well as what he needed to do...or rather, what Yuki needed him to do for him. Slowly moving towards his cousin, he shook his head slightly. Never, not in a million years would he ever have thought that he'd--

He sighed inwardly, and pulled the trembling boy close to him and into his arms.

Yuki blinked in surprise, but didn't pull away. It had been so long since he'd been this physically close to anyone, since anyone had bothered to hold him, to comfort him like this. And Kyou, of all people...Yet, it felt...it felt safe there, and warm. Eyes filling with fresh tears, he didn't try to stop them from flowing, but instead cried openly, cried for all of it--for the solitude, for his brother's death, for all the pain he'd endured over the years, for everything. Arms trembling, he reached out and held on to his cousin's thin form for dear life, as he wept bitterly.

"Sshhh" Kyou murmured, gently rubbing the other boy's back. "It's okay, it's okay" he said, as Yuki continued to cry heartbrokenly against his chest, each sob wracking the mouse's small, fragile body.

"I--he--" Yuki managed through his tears.

"It's okay," Kyou repeated, "He knew--he knows. It's okay. He knows."

Yuki closed his eyes and leaned his head against Kyou's chest, shoulders shaking. Did he know? Had his brother really known? He hadn't hated him, really, he hadn't, but...was it enough? Could he be sure that his brother had known this? No, it wasn't and he couldn't, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He'd never thought that he would lose him like this, before they ever really had a chance to become closer. He'd said such hurtful things to his brother, treated him as if he were just an annoyance in his life. At times he'd even wished that the snake would just go away and never come back...he'd wanted him gone. But no, not like this. Yuki winced inwardly as the feelings of regret ate away at him. All the things he could never say now, could never do with him...it hurt...oh God, it hurt so much...

And yet...would something like that have to be repeated? There was still some chance to make things right...maybe not for him and his brother, but maybe, just maybe...someone else? Maybe he'd been given another chance in this moment, the chance to salvage another damaged relationship...

Slowly, he pulled himself away. "I--"

Kyou looked up, a little startled at the sudden movement.

Yuki bowed his head, bangs falling across his eyes. "I don't--I don't hate you either." he whispered.

Kyou's eyes widened. Yuki didn't hate him? But--but he'd thought....they were rivals, enemies...weren't they? Ever since he could remember, the two of them had never gotten along, not once. Of course, they'd usually only encountered each other at New Year's, but still...Kyou hated that damned mouse...didn't he? However, looking at the person before him--familiar, yet at the same time now a complete stranger--he found that he didn't feel hate, not at all, but instead sympathy and...compassion? All this time now, living with him, seeing him everyday and, thanks to Tohru, always seeing new sides of him...could it be that his heart had softened as well? Maybe--

"Oi" he started, as he felt his cousin fall against him suddenly. He looked down at him, only to find that the other boy was now asleep in his arms, most likely having passed out from the emotional stress all this night's events had caused. Kyou sighed. Yuki seemed so small like this, so...innocent. Not at all like the sneaky mouse he'd made him out to be. And he didn't hate him. He'd just said so. The cat was more than a little surprised at the guilt that he suddenly felt. Maybe Yuki wasn't that bad, after all. Maybe, just maybe, they could try again...

But for now...Kyou looked around. How were they supposed to get back inside like this, anyway?

********************

Yuki shifted slightly. Where was he? He slowly opened his eyes, only to find himself in bed, back in his room. How had he--

"How are you feeling?" a voice asked from beside him. He turned to see

Hatori's worn face looking back at him. Next to Hatori, kneeled Tohru, worry in her eyes. Past them, Shigure stood in the doorway, while Kyou leaned against a corner of the wall, arms crossed.

"I--I'm okay...all things considered" he managed, "tired, though."

"You seem to have passed out from the shock. A little rest and you should be just fine." //Physically, at least//, the doctor added to himself.

Yuki nodded.

"Yuki-kun...daijoubu desu ka?"

He smiled softly. " Hai, I'll be alright, Honda-san."

Tohru nodded, smiling sadly. "Hai." she responded, gently brushing his bangs away from his face as she lightly caressed his cheek.

"Come now, let him be." Hatori said, taking her hand and gently guiding her out of the room. Shigure followed, wordlessly, a lost expression on his face.

Lastly, Kyou turned to go, hesitating a little.

"Anou...Kyou..."

Kyou stopped, turning back to his cousin.

"Kyou...arigatou..."

Kyou looked down, shuffling his feet. "Don't mention it."

"I mean it. I know how much you dislike me, so...thank you."

Silence.

Kyou shifted uncomfortably, still staring at the ground beneath him.

"Yuki..." he then muttered something barely audible to the other boy.

"Eh?" Yuki blinked.

"I--" Kyou spoke up, clearing his throat, "...Idon'thateyoueither." he mumbled quickly, then raised his eyes to meet those of the mouse. They didn't lie.

Yuki felt a small smile creep onto his lips. "Wakatta."

Feeling a little awkward again, Kyou managed a small smile of his own, before turning to leave again. Yuki leaned back down onto the bed and closed his eyes. It would be okay...somehow, everything would be okay. He still felt the new pain in his heart and knew that it would take time before he could heal...if he ever did. The next few days would be incredibly hard and he doubted he'd ever get through them alone. But he remembered the worried faces of all those around him. He wasn't alone anymore...

Then again, maybe he never really had been in the first place.

With that thought in mind, he allowed himself to give in to his fatigue, and slept.

~ OWARI~

Glossary:

tadaima: I'm back/I'm home

baka neko: stupid cat

kuso nezumi: damn mouse

onegai: please

oi: hey

daijoubu desu ka? : are you alright/okay?

hai: yes

arigatou: thank you

wakatta: I understand/I got it

Gyaah, this took me forever--I actually wrote it around Christmas, go figure...I'm so lazy sometimes, it's sad. *Sighs* Ah well, I hope at least someone out there enjoyed it. If not, well, I had fun writing it, so I guess that counts for something, right?