I've been in the shadows for two years! Two years, I've been hiding my feelings for the sake of friendship. Hiding my love so that a girl- who hate me-can get the boy of my dreams. I was ecstatic when Jade and Beck broke up, but then they got back together again. But that will all change. This Friday, at the annual Showcase, I will let the whole school know about my feelings. I'll sing for Beck. Lost in my thoughts, I hastily head home to start writing the song for the showcase. I have 2 days to write a song that will let Beck know that I'm the one for him.
I tuck my knees against my chest and lean back in the sofa. Right. A song. How do I start it off? Now that I have a blank sheet of paper in my hands, I realize just how hard it is to write a song. I flash back to the time I had asked Andre for help.
"Who are you writing it for?" He asked curiously.
"No one. I just want to write a song about jealousy and perform it at the showcase." I snap defensively Andre looks at me sternly then whispers, "It's for Beck isn't it?" I nod, too ashamed to reply.
"Aww, Tor. It'll be okay. Just write about how you feel and the words will come naturally. Once the words come, so do the tune." He reassures me.
Well the words aren't coming to me now! "How do I feel? What do I feel?" I mutter. God, I love everything about Beck. His hair, his eyes, the way his mouth involuntarily turns up, even though he doesn't want to laugh. I love how he makes me feel special how he's ready to help me out anytime, anywhere. He's a wonderful friend. Hmm, maybe I can write about his personality! I think. Excited that I got a semi-decent idea, I begin to jot down everything I love about Beck.
Soon, I had 6 lines written and I felt good about them. They weren't the best lyrics, but they would suffice for now. Re-reading the paper, I absent mindedly begin to hum a tune.
"The way your eyes shine, in the moonlight,
sends butterflies, and makes me smile.
The way you flip your hair, like you don't care
how it affects me, how you don't see
that I've been wait-ing, waiting for you to realize.
realize that I've been pray-ing, praying for you to be with me."
UGGGGGGGG! That is not good. It makes no sense! I groan and rip up the piece of paper into shreds and throw it away. In anger, I log onto the Slap and see a new post. Curiously, I click on it, to see another picture of Jade. Courtesy of Beck. It was a picture of Jade at Starbucks this morning, holding two cups of coffee. Beck had titled the picture Isn't she lovely?
Yea. She's lovely and I can't sing!" I think angrily. She's lovely, and beautiful and wonderful and harmless and- I continue my rant until I realize that I've actually written good lyrics! I immediately stop, and start writing down everything all over again. Excited that I wrote good lyrics, I stay up all night long finishing my song. I fall asleep humming the song and dreaming of how well the showcase goes.
The Next Day-At the Showcase
I was going to perform after Jade! She's going on after Cat, and Cat is singing right now. Panicked that I'm going to mess up, I tighten my grip on the mic and pray to god once again. Before I knew it, Jade was singing on stage, "Tell me that you loved me". I grin at the memory of singing that song after the "ping-pong" tournament. Lost in my memories, I don't realize that Jade is finished with her performance until I hear, Lane announce to the crowd, "Now, our last performance of the day, singing an original song, Tori Vega!" I send a quick grin to Jade, Andre, and Cat and walk on stage. The uproar of the crowd was deafening The screams got louder and louder and only when I lifted the mic to my mouth, did the audience get quiet.
"Hey guys, this is a song I wrote for a special someone." I announce before looking at my pianist, Andre, giving him the consent to start. Soft music trickles through the crowd, and I wait for a few measures, before singing:
She walked away, said good-bye
Didn't turn around, didn't hesitate
She left you, knowing that
You'd be alone, crying in pain
She made sure, you fell hard
When she dropped you, you came apart
She needed you to forget
About those that were at your door
She wanted you to be blind and say that everything was fine
She needed you for you to forget about those that actually cared
She wanted you to be fragile
She needed to be in control
You never had a word
Everything revolved around her- so now tell me:
Isn't she lovely?
Isn't she wonderful?
Isn't she harmless?
Isn't she beautiful?
Aren't those the words you whispered before she left?
Isn't she the one that changed her mind?
Isn't she the one that made you cry?
Isn't she the one that stole your heart?
Isn't she the one that tore it apart?
Isn't she the one you fell for?
Isn't she the one that dropped you hard?
Is she the same girl you fell in love with?
It's all a cycle, everything going round and round
Nothing ever changes, everything stays the same
She breaks you, you cry in pain and then you take her back
You swore it's the last time 5 times ago
You hold her tight, sacrifice your rights,
just to see that devious smile.
So instead of apologies, why don't you start over?
Instead of forgiving, why not just forget?
Think about it:
Sure she's lovely,
sure she's beautiful.
sure she's harmless,
sure she's wonderful.
But she changed her mind.
She made you cry.
She stole your heart,
She tore it apart.
She dropped you hard
When you fell for her
She isn't the same girl, you once fell in love with-before.
I pour my heart and soul out into the song, and I think the audience notices this too. Because as I finish my last few notes, every person seated in the auditorium stands up and gives me an ovation. I give them a huge grin and wave to them before I run off stage. Before I can hug Andre for the wonderful music, Jade stops me.
"It was for Beck wasn't it?" She asks. I study her, she doesn't seem mad. More curious. Defeated, I nod. I brace myself for anger, threats, and curses, but instead all I hear is, laughter. I look at her in confusion, and she opens her mouth to explain.
"I've been waiting for a perfect way to break up with him. We both aren't that good anymore. Besides, I think I've fallen for someone else." As she says this, her eyes land on Andre.
"It's Andre." I state, and she nods her head, grinning. "Well, I'm going to go talk things out with Beck." Jade says before walking away. I weave in and through the crowd and stop in front of Andre.
"Andre! You were amazing!" I yell and envelope him in a huge hug. He laughs and returns the hug, picking me up and spinning me around. I laugh at his hyperness, and I feel someone tapping my shoulder. Andre puts me down, and I see Beck standing there-his hands in his pockets.
Andre glancing at Beck and me, senses the tension and says," I'm gonna go talk to...JADE! Ya, Jade!" As I watch him run after Jade, I smile.
"So, did you like the song?" I asked, starting the conversation, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Yeah, I did. It kind of reminded me of someone..." He trails off uncertainly.
"Ohhh," I whisper. What if he tells me that I was rude? That the song was completely rude and that he hates it? Negative thoughts swirled through my mind, but he interrupts me before they get out of hand.
"Don't worry, the song opened my eyes. Not only mine, but Jade's as well! We both agreed that we're better off as friends, besides we both are in love with someone else. It took us this long to realize it, but we're still in love with them." He explains. I raise my eyebrows in surprise, and color floods my cheeks.
"Wh-who?" I stutter, scared to ask who he loves, because it won't be me.
"Oh, you know her pretty well. She's a pretty amazing singer, can dance and act, has beautiful, wavy, brown hair, and the most amazing personality!" He says, ticking off each reason with his fingers.
"So it's Trina?" I ask, teasing him.
"God NO! It's you, Tori." Beck yells the first part, and whispers the second. Even though he whispered the last part, I heard the words loud and clear. Everything became silent and the only thing I heard was the words It's you, Tori.echoing around me.
"Can you repeat the last part?" I ask him again, not believing it the first time.
"It's you, Tori. I love you." He states. That's all I needed to hear. I wrap my arms around him and squeeze him tightly and he automatically wraps his arms around my waist. We fit like two puzzle pieces, our bodies made for each other. I lean back slightly and look him in the eyes. He hesitantly leans forward and presses his lips gently to mine. I kiss him back and that's all he needed to know. For a few moments we stay like that, enjoying the kiss, wrapped in our own private bubble, but I pull back.
"I love you too," I whisper, gasping for the much needed oxygen. He grins and pulls me in for another kiss, but this one was a small, gentle one. This time, he pulls back and asks, "Tori Vega: Will you do the honor of being my girlfriend?"
"Yes," I announce immediately. This was what I had been waiting for. I had been waiting for 2 years, just for this moment. I lace my fingers through his and give him one last smile, before dragging him towards Andre and Jade. They both saw our entwined hands and smiled. I grinned and Beck pulled me closer.
"Tomorrow, I'm taking you out on a date. Dress casual." He told me.
"Aren't you supposed to ask me?" I asked, teasing him.
"Princess, will you-" He begins to ask me but I cut him off.
"Yes I will, but Princess? Really?" I scoff. It's funny how he thinks I'm a princess, I'm anything but a princess.
"Yes, you are my princess! And I'm the prince, and we will live happily ever after!" He declares, acting a bit dramatic.
I giggle at how ridiculous he was acting but nod my head and peck him on the lips anyway. I may not be an actual princess, but I definitely got a happy ever after. Or a happy beginning.
