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"CALL ME CUPID"

Or,

'I Like Your Knees!'

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(Molly's version of 'Something Stupid')

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Molly is standing patiently in the queue in Flourish and Blotts, waiting for her beloved Gilderoy Lockhart to sign the book that is fervently clutched in her hands.

The spotlight focuses on her, while the rest of the scene fades into a dull glow….

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Molly, singing sweetly:

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"I know I stand in line

Until you have the time to sign my print of 'Magical Me' -

And if I'm blessed and get the chance

To emigrate to France I hope you'll live there with me" (she was recently granted a French visa)

"And afterwards we go back to The Burrow and I try so hard to cook for you -

But then I go and broil it all

But you say it's okay and so we have fondue.

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I can see it in your eyes, that your brain fries when you rely

On simple common sense -

And though it's not required of you, even I knew

That hippogriffs can jump a fence."

(…Once when Gilderoy was asked to cage a particularly vicious hippogriff, he enclosed it using a short wooden fence. It got away…)

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"You lack a clever brain so I must find a simple way

To make the meaning come through -

And now I have to wait until my Arthur's working late

And I'm alone with you -

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The time is right your nonsense fills my head, your eyes are red

Because you have just sneezed -

And then I go and spoil it all, by saying something stupid

Like: 'I like your knees….'"

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Backing singers, approaching from the side:

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"I like your knees….

I like your knees..."

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Molly resumes her place in the queue and stares dreamily towards the front….

Gilderoy turns to the camera and winks.

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Hahaha I hope everything turns out well for all concerned, especially poor Arthur!

Here are the real lyrics:

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"Something Stupid"

Frank Sinatra

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I know I stand in line, until you think you have the time

To spend an evening with me

And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there's a chance

You won't be leaving with me

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And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place

And have a drink or two

And then I go and spoil it all, by saying something stupid

Like: "I love you"

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I can see it in your eyes, that you despise the same old lies

You heard the night before

And though it's just a line to you, for me it's true

It never seemed so right before

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I practice every day to find some clever lines to say

To make the meaning come through

But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late

And I'm alone with you

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The time is right your perfume fills my head, the stars get red

And oh the night's so blue

And then I go and spoil it all, by saying something stupid

Like: "I love you"

("I love you, I love you...")

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Hope you enjoyed that!

I've also strangled Gloria Gaynor's 'I Will Survive' lyrics and have some ridiculous parodies of Jingle Bells (Gringotts smells) and Walking on Sunshine, plus a few others! They're just complete nonsense as well heheheee )

Thanks for reading!