This silliness was brought to life because of this post on Tumblr by just-shower-thoughts: What if whole "Santa coming down the chimney" thing is just a muggle conspiracy to cover up the fact that Santa is a wizard traveling by floo powder.
Lucius Malfoy - The Greatest Santa Claus Ever. Duh!
To say that he didn't like his work would have been the understatement of the century. He loathed it ... with a passion. But, it was either take over the infamous Christmas for Muggles Department, or Azkaban. The choice was clear, but he wasn't required to like it.
Hence, for the last five years, December had been the busiest month for Lucius Malfoy. Just the fact that he needed to check that blasted list twice was making his left eyebrow twitch. And, since they always were short on staff, every 24th of December, he had to glamour his still-perfectly-flat stomach into something that vaguely resembled a bowl full of jelly, wear a red suit that he wouldn't wear even for Narcissa's naughtiest fantasies, and deliver millions of presents. Millions. Thank Merlin for Time-Turners.
Well, at least he didn't need to glamour his hair. His locks were already famous for being white as snow. Duh!
He also had to admit that Muggles cookies were quite tasty; he always had to diet for a few months afterward. Alas ... life was never easy.
