Y/N Perspective

~Sleepover at Kat's Place, Friday night~

Tonight is the night. Tonight is the night I was going to tell Lauren how I feel. Ever since 6th grade, I have been madly in love with her. Her chocolate brown eyes, her delicate figure. I wanted to run my fingers through her soft brown hair and stroke her cheek with my hand. When I was near her, it was almost as if I gravitated towards her. She was the centre of my universe, the star that gave light to my life.

Tonight is Kat's sleepover, so I carefully packed my sleeping bag: toothbrush, pajamas, and breath mints(just in case) and headed on over to Kat's place for the sleepover. "Y/N!! I'm so glad you could make it!!" I was enthusiastically welcomed by Kat into her house, everyone was there already watching a horror movie. "Come on in, you're just in time for the best part of the movie." I saw Lauren, W-Sitting right there on the couch, laughing as if she had no worries in the world. A chill went down my spine, as her laugh filled my heart with warmth. She had put her hair in pigtails, and god, was she ever cute. My heart skipped a beat. I eventually realised I was just standing there, bag in hand, staring in awe. I put my bag down at the door, and walked over to where everyone was sitting. Lauren noticed me and gestured to a spot on the couch beside her. "Hey Y/N" Lauren said with a smirk. I felt my cheeks begin to burn slightly. "H-hey" I gave a half smile and a timid wave. This was going to be a long night, I could tell. About an hour passed, though it felt like a millenia because of how close I was to her. I just wanted to cuddle up next to her, look up at her occasionally, maybe hug her when a jumpscare came. I fought every urge to do any of this and simply sat, blankly staring at the screen.

We finally finished the movie, and Kat turned off the tv with a shit-eating grin. I immediately realised that a Kat-fueled storm was approaching. She smiled deviously, and said "Let's play spin the bottle." I suddenly became aware of my heart, pounding in my chest, my breath wavering with every exhale. "Oh my gosh Kat, that's so gay" Lauren commented rolling her eyes, but only jokingly pretending to be pissed. "Yeah, that's what makes this so hot~" Everyone abruptly stood up from the large couch we'd been crowded on, and sat in a circle on the floor, an empty bottle smack in the middle. Lauren, Madi, Kat, Robin, Max, Haily, Jackie and I all simply stared at one another, sitting in the awkward silence of impending doom. "I'll go first." Kat spun the bottle, it landed on Jackie. They are best friends in the first place, and always kissed platonically anyway, so there was barely any tension. "C'mere daddy~" Kat said seductively, and gave Jackie a peck on the lips while everyone laughed and cheered slightly. "You go Lauren!" said Jackie enthusiastically, seeming unfazed. I secretly prayed the bottle would land on me, holding my breath as I watched the tip spin 'round and 'round. Of course, it landed on Madi, anyone other than me. Fan-fucking-tastic.

I had never understood the strange aura Madi gave off, a feeling of insanity almost. It was extremely off-putting. But I was even more terrified of the very thought that Lauren may find that attractive. The way she was smiling at Lauren made me feel incredibly jealous, and I felt a pang in my chest as they both leaned in for a kiss. "Oooooooh gayyyyy!!" Kat yelled, they both started blushing. I subtly glared at Madi, but quickly recovered when I heard Max talking to me. "Y/N it's your turn!" I spun the bottle hesitantly… again holding my breath as it spun in perfect circles. I was going to pass out eventually if I kept holding my breath and being so on edge all evening. Eventually, it slowed, and I looked up timidly at who it was pointing at. Holy shit………. IT LANDED ON LAUREN! "Wow Lauren is really getting some action tonight~" I heard someone else mumble, but I didn't even notice. I was already lost in her eyes, it was too easy to lose myself when I even so much as glanced at them.

I felt my face grow as red as a tomato. My first kiss, with Lauren?! In a spin the bottle game, nonetheless. She started crawling into the center of our circle, with every step, my vision grew smaller and smaller until it was just her. I knew everyone was staring at us. I felt like I could drop dead at any minute. My heart was beating so fast, but I wasn't getting enough air in my lungs. She leaned in, closing her eyes. I wavered for a moment, afraid of what would happen. What if this changes everything? But, I then realised, what if it does change everything? For better. I summoned all of my courage, and my eyes fluttered shut. Finally, I gave in and took the leap of faith, closing the gap between us. The world started spinning, and I slid my arm around her neck, not just for stability. The kiss itself, it wasn't hard or violent, but passionate and soft. It felt as if time had stopped just for us. Us. I never wanted to stop. The thrill pulsing through my veins was exhilarating, making me feel more alive than I ever had before.

She pulled away, and it felt as though she had sucked my soul right out of me and taken it with her. "Wow Y/N, you're a pretty good kisser," she whispered, and shot me a smirk meant just for me. I felt myself withering on the inside, I wanted her back. "Uhh, t-thanks." I stumbled, trying to pull myself back together. And unfortunately, failing epicly. "That was, like, WAY LONGER than a normal kiss," Max said, stating the unfortunate obvious. Everyone started sharing ecstatic glances, before starting to squeal like little kids. Some even hollered, yelling "OOOOOOH". I was bright red, and despite it being over, it still felt like the world was spinning. I could still feel her lips on mine. It was almost as if she had tainted them, leaving a permanent mark on my heart and lips. That's when I noticed she was blushing too, and though she was trying to keep her cool, I could clearly see the pink tinting her cheeks. I was once again filled with that same warmth from before, and smiled lightly. Her eyes seemed to light up, and the whole room suddenly became so much brighter. We maintained eye contact, and even if I wanted to, I couldn't break away. It felt as if there was this abstract being, forcing us together. But did I fight it? Of course not.

Then, all of the sudden, Robin and Kat's shrieking voices pierced my ears, breaking the connection between me and Lauren "LAUREN AND Y/N SITTING IN A TREE F-U-C-K-I-N-G!" I immediately look away, embarrassed and angry. It takes me a minute to realise that Lauren must be equally as uncomfortable, and I look up to see her getting up. I furrowed my brow, looking at her concerningly. At that moment, Madi yells at Robin and Kat with a booming voice. "That's ENOUGH! Can't you see that you've upset her?!" Everyone silences, and she stands up and goes after Lauren, who's already left the room in a fit. That should've been me, but instead that bitch had to come and save the day. I shouldn't be jealous, it's a terrible, ugly emotion. But I don't care, I love Lauren. Not her. We all just sit there in silence, until Kat, being her usual self, breaks the tension. "I think she's just jealous that I have a bigger PeePee than her." Everyone bursts out laughing. Everyone except me.

A little later, everyone seems alright again. They're making iced tea using Kat's famous recipe, laughing, and having a good time. I can't seem to enjoy myself though, not with Lauren missing, especially her missing with Madi. I sneak away without anybody noticing and search the house for the two, desperate to find them before anything happens. I eventually find them in the basement, talking quietly. Lauren chuckles softly and I can barely make out what they are whispering. "You love me," Lauren jokes. "Yeah, no shit." Replies Madi, smirking. I know they're just joking, but a part of me really believes they're dating, and the sudden weight of dread practically drags me down. I watch in horror as Madi drapes her arm around Lauren and pulls her tight, and before I know what's happening, I take a step backwards and tripped over the cat that was just grazing my ankles, purring and rubbing up against me. I make a large crash as I attempt to save my fall, and Madi and Lauren abruptly turn around, both seeming surprised. Madi is looking more accusatorial though, as if I were plotting.

"Hey." I mumble, not quite making eye contact with either of them. "I'm really sorry about that." Lauren has a look of forgiveness and relief on her face, but Madi seems to be purely angry. "What the fuck do you think you're doing, stalker." She spits out, and I feel hurt. But soon, I can feel the anger beginning to boil inside of me as well. Who does this girl think she is? She is mean, vindictive, manipulative and aggressive! I approach to where they are sitting and get right up to Madi's face and whisper harshly, "Get out, now. Before I do something I may regret." I've never had this kind of fury inside of me before, nor this sort of gusto, but when it comes to Lauren, I lose any insecurities or fears I may have had before. I would do anything for the girl.

Madi suddenly stands up and faces me, and even though she is significantly shorter, she still scares me. She has a wildness in her eyes, convincing me that she isn't afraid to hurt others. "And what are you going to do about it?" She snarls. I begin to feel all of my previous strength fade away. My limbs feel like noodles, and I'm faltering, when suddenly my saving grace, Lauren, comes to the rescue to break up the impending fight. "Guys, calm down please." She gives Madi a strange smile, a mix between reassurance and subtle hinting, at what though, I have no clue. "I'll talk to you later, I promise." Madi almost looks hurt and I feel the tiniest bit bad. She huffs, but stomps away anyways, leaving me and Lauren alone. Just the two of us. "Are you okay?" I ask hesitantly. Lauren simply nods, not quite looking at me. "I really, should - uh…" I say, but have no chance to finish awkwardly stumbling through my words when she shakes her head and interrupts me. "You shouldn't have said that to her. You shouldn't have snapped like that." She holds my gaze for à moment, then leaves and runs after Madi.

I was left alone with my thoughts, confused, but mainly ashamed. I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. Though Madi wasn't any better, so I have no idea why she went after her. But my soul hurts and so does my head. I take out my phone to call my mom and tell her to pick me up. I'm in no mood to hang around, and I can barely fathom the thought of even being near Lauren right now, much less Madi.

~Monday, at River Creek High School~

I arrived earlier than I normally do, even though school is the last place I want to be right now. I see Madi and Lauren talking alone on the benches, and I'm not sure which I feel more of. Jealousy, Sadness, or pure Hatred.

I simply stand there, wallowing in my emotions, until the anger inside of me becomes too much. Enough is enough! Madi stole Lauren from me. She stole my light, my life, my love, and my soul. Lauren was my everything and Madi took her without a second thought. I hate myself. I hate myself for letting it happen, but more importantly, I hate Madi more. My soul is crying on the inside, and I just want to collapse and cry, but I push away those sentiments, and fill myself with that same fiery rage from a few moments ago. I storm over to where they're sitting and before I even realise what's happened, Madi is sprawled across the wet grass, blood dripping from the side of her temple. "Oh my god, what did you do?!" Lauren jumps to Madi's side, and I feel a pang of remorse, stabbing me like a dull knife to the chest. "I'm sorry!" I sob. The world is melting around me, yet my vision is crystal clear on one thing, and one thing only. Lauren's mortified face. I could sense people nearby beginning to close in on us, their shadows swarming my vision. "I swear I didn't mean to!" Lauren's eyes narrow, and my eyes begin to fill with salty tears, moments away from bursting and streaming uncontrollably down my face. "You didn't mean to?! Looks to me like you did, what's your issue?" Madi was sitting up now, swearing to herself like a sailor as she attempted to recover from the blow. I could see tears in her eyes, despite her clearly attempting to hide them. I spun, not knowing where to look, until my eyes eventually met Lauren's again. I could tell she was waiting for me to explain, so, I blurted out the truth. "I like you Lauren!" She's stunned, as the anger drains from her face. I continue, chokes between my words, "I'm sorry, but I really like you. And that kiss the other night, I wanted that to be the beginning of something, not the end of it."

I suddenly turned on my heel, and ran into the school. The doors fly past me as I sprint through the hallways. They seem to become narrower and narrower. I just want to find somewhere where I can curl up and hide. "Y/N!" I heard Lauren call after me, but I don't dare to even look back. That was hardly fair of me, yelling at the girl I had loved for 4 years was NOT winning me any brownie points. But it didn't matter anymore. I just needed to escape. I couldn't breathe. My head felt it weighed a thousand pounds and my feet used every ounce of energy I had to drag themselves across the tile flooring. When I reached the center of the atrium, a hand grabbed mine and spun me around. Lauren was looking up at me, her chest heaving up and down, she was bent over, attempting to catch her breath. I tried to wiggle away and averted my eyes, but she pulled me closer. "I should have done this a long time ago." She whispered. And her eyes were closed and her lips were on mine and it felt real, unlike the game of spin the bottle. It felt like she was the missing puzzle piece that I could never before find. Somehow I knew exactly what to do in the moment, my hand found her hair and I ran my fingers through it. It felt like she was fulfilling the one wish I'd had my entire life. This was the feeling I had been waiting for; the epitome of perfection. She smiled slightly into the kiss, and I could feel my whole body melting.

The bell then rang, and I became painfully aware that we were in the middle of the atrium, just kissing. We both pulled away, my cheeks burning, but everyone had already seen. Some older students started whistling and hooting, and we both just smiled shyly and began to walk away. In the distance, we both heard the familiar voice of Kat yelling over the whole crowd "That's Gay!" and cackling next to Madi, who did not look happy, but she didn't look angry either. She looked genuinely sad, and in that moment I realised she really had loved Lauren, and she meant what she had said at the sleepover. It was funny. Her and I had simply been after the same thing. Two galaxies colliding together to achieve the same bright star, Lauren.

I took Lauren's hand and lead her to an empty stairwell. Our first period classes were bound to start in just a few moments, but I didn't care. We stopped, and simply stared at our interlocked hands. I sneakily glanced up to look at her face briefly, and saw her smiling that same smile that made me fall in love with her all those years ago. I pulled her into a tight hug, and smelled her hair in my face. It smelled sweetly of strawberries and coconuts, and then she whispered gently in my ear, "I swear I couldn't love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow." She kissed my cheek, and I was once again, filled with that same warmth. The warmth of a sun.

~The End~

Credit to the following contributors:

~Lauren

~Katriel

~Malamarie