Severus Snape bitterly watches the Golden Trio return to Hogwarts, their year-long Horcrux hunt a failure, as the war threatens to destroy the world they all hold so dear.
Disclaimer: None of the characters or canon events featured here are owned by me: all are copyrighted to JKR.
Long fic, weekly chapter update, non-canon from mid HBP. Eventual HGSS romance, non-explicit. Rated M for language and violence. Thanks for any reviews.
NOTHING AND EVERYTHING
CHAPTER ONE
The two men sipped from glasses of deep amber liquid as they regarded each other, just as they were being regarded by the knowing eyes of the magnificent flame-plumed bird that perched close by.
"So," the younger man said. "We are no further than we were a year ago."
"I believe there have been some achievements we must acknowledge."
"Such as? The wonderful triumph of Wimbourne Wasps in the league, perhaps, or shall we endeavour to think of some achievement within these illustrious walls?"
"Mock all you wish." The reply was annoyingly serene. What did a man have to do to get a rise of temper around here? "I stand by what I say."
That debate was clearly going nowhere, so the younger man changed the subject. "Have they contacted you?"
"Of course. They know help is always given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it."
If in doubt, wheel out the old philosophy for an airing. "Will they return here?"
"What other choice do they have? There is nothing else they can do for now; I hope their education will allow them a semblance of normal life again."
"They are adults now, in both worlds, and they have seen things no one of their years should have to witness. You can't expect them to merely pick up their quills as if nothing untoward has ever happened."
"To the contrary; having discussed the matter at some length, I believe returning to the one place that has signified safety and security to them all will grant them the opportunity to remember how young they still are."
"They will sit their NEWTs?"
"I should think their practical experiences will give them excellent advantages in their studies."
"Dumbledore, you make this sound like a whimsical fairy tale of the variety that usually makes me want to scoop out my brain with a blunt knife."
Albus Dumbledore's eyes were kind behind his spectacles. "They deserve the chance to return to the lives they felt driven to leave behind. They tried their best."
"They failed," Severus Snape said flatly. "As simple as that."
A moment of silence before Dumbledore gave a soft sigh. "I confess, my dear boy, that I never expected them to succeed."
Snape couldn't quite prevent a look of incredulity from crossing his usually impassive features. "So you sent them out like lambs to the slaughter, to hunt for pieces of the Dark Lord's soul, knowing they were certain to fail?"
"Not certain, no, but reasonably sure. I had no choice: to contain them would have been wrong."
"For what possible reason?"
"Their sanity. Had they not been given the chance to try, to go out into the world and experience this war for themselves, all three would have suffered irreparably in their frustrations and impotence. Two more so than the third, admittedly."
"And you think allowing them to roam the country for a year, hunting for objects two of them will barely comprehend, will have strengthened their mental state?"
"In many ways, yes, I do." Dumbledore sighed softly. "However, I regret putting such responsibility on them, even though they requested it. I'm an old man, Severus, and I make mistakes. I admit, one such mistake was to send them on a quest that has such consequences for the war."
"How gratifying for them to know that now."
A piercing look reminded Snape of just how perceptive the older wizard was. "Why do you care about three students you always professed to dislike?"
"I am not a fan of wild goose chases. Nor am I a fan of allowing The Boy Who Lives To Irritate to run off on his own little crusade when it merely fuels his stupid belief that he was born to save us all."
"And there was me thinking you may have missed them a little. Absence, it seems, does not make all hearts grow fonder."
"Do shut up, Dumbledore," Snape growled.
Dumbledore beamed. "Was there anything else you wished to discuss?"
There had been quite enough insane discussion for one day. Snape got stiffly to his feet. "Indeed there is not. Goodnight, Headmaster."
"Sherbet lemon before you go?" Dumbledore proffered the usual bowl, looking deeply amused when Snape automatically curled his lip at it.
"As you damn well know, I'd rather eat Mrs Norris than touch those cursed things."
"She would be exceedingly stringy, I have no doubt." Another happy beam from the greatest wizard of all time. "Goodnight, dear boy."
Snape took his leave without ceremony, striding down the spiral staircase. He hoped to run into a hapless student attempting some illicit night-time activity and was somewhat disappointed to find the corridors were deserted. Not even a couple of canoodling fourth-years, renowned for their uncontrollable hormones, for him to vent his frustrations on.
He was aware that if he returned to his rooms, he was likely to down most of a bottle of Firewhisky in an attempt to control the unsettled feeling that was currently roaring in his stomach, and that he was currently denying extremely hard. So he ducked into the staffroom where, as expected, his closest colleague was indulging in her nightly tea ritual before retiring.
"You've heard, then?" Minerva McGonagall asked drily.
"Our esteemed Headmaster just enlightened me on the situation." He took the armchair opposite and nodded when she indicated the teapot. As usual, he enjoyed watching her wince in disapproval as he ruined her delicate brew with a large slug of milk.
"I'm glad they're going to complete their education but I wish they were returning in more fortuitous circumstances."
"Potter is going to be unbearable. His hero complex will be completely out of control by now."
"And there was me thinking that maybe time had softened the animosity," McGonagall snorted. "Leave the boy be, Sev. He's been through enough."
Sev. She had been the first person to call him by that name since Lily and, although at first he had angrily resisted it, he had come to realise that she used it as her own way of showing that she cared for him, for their friendship. And like most things installed by Minerva McGonagall, it had caught on and now most of the staff addressed him as Sev; even Dumbledore adopted it on occasion.
Though Dumbledore also adopted disgusting articles such as wine gums and cola bottles, which contained neither wine nor cola. Suggesting perhaps a slight lack in judgement.
"They've grown up," McGonagall said softly, when Snape refused to answer. "They're not children anymore."
"I imagine little will have changed. Weasley will be as thick-headed as ever and Potter will no doubt still have the temper of a two-year-old. And Miss Granger will never be anything other than an insufferable know-it-all."
"An insufferable know-it-all you also described as the brightest student within these walls, I seem to remember."
It was Snape's turn to snort. "Taken out of context and I think you'll find I actually said 'the brightest student out of all the dunderheads within these walls'. Somewhat less of a compliment."
"The day I hear you give a compliment will be the day I declare Irish firewhisky to be superior to Scottish."
"I look forward to it." He mockingly toasted her with his cup. "And don't smile at me like that. Must you gloat in such an immature manner?"
"Gloating about the return of three of my House's finest?"
"If Weasley is amongst the finest then Gryffindor must be wallowing even lower than I thought."
"Do shut up, Sev."
"Why? This is so enjoyable."
"Because otherwise I will ensure that you will be in charge of supervising every Hogsmeade visit till Christmas."
"You never let me have any fun, Erva."
"Due to the fact you like trying to eat my Gryffindors alive. And in future, kindly don't refer to Mr Thompson as being part-troll. The teasing he is enduring from the third years is seemingly endless."
"What?" Snape protested. "Not only is it probably true, it's certainly extremely accurate."
"If you don't behave, I shan't tell you next time my fourth years plot to cause a series of unexplained explosions in your classroom. Which will be occurring tomorrow afternoon, by the way."
Snape gave a long-suffering sigh. "This place," he declared, "will be the death of me."
If a certain power-crazed and mentally-deficient dictator didn't do the job first, of course. Thank Merlin this infernal year was almost at an end.
X X X
It felt both right and wrong, stepping off the Hogwarts Express again. All three were pleased to be returning to the place that had been home to them all for so long but the pleasure felt tainted. They were returning not through desire to rekindle their old lives, but through failure. Their hunt was at an end; there were no further leads to pursue.
Hermione had expected it would be Harry who was happiest to return to school. Hogwarts had always meant more to him than either her or Ron, who had secure and loving families waiting for them beyond the castle walls. But Harry seemed consumed by their lack of achievement, as if he viewed going back to Hogwarts as an admission of his own shortcomings. Instead it was Ron who was desperate to return, to once again immerse himself in a structured life of good meals, warm beds and certainty of what each day would bring.
"Good to see the old place again," she said quietly to Harry as they walked along the platform. His gaze, like hers, was firmly fixed on the magnificent castle sat high above them, its lit windows gazing down benevolently.
Harry didn't speak but his nod was strong and his hand reached out to briefly squeeze her arm. Ron had already strode on ahead to the waiting carriages, unnerved by the stares and frantic whispers of the younger students around them. They quickened their pace to join him in the queue.
As they reached the front, Harry reached out to stroke the skeletal creature harnessed to the carriage. Hermione came eye-to-eye with a Thestral, visible to her for the first time. And that unflinching reptilian gaze took away yet another sliver of her childhood as it stared calmly at her. She climbed hurriedly into the carriage, trying not to think about the creature gracefully transporting them up to the castle.
Instead of rounding up the first years, Professor McGonagall stood waiting for them. Her smile was genuine, if somewhat restrained, as she strode forward to greet them.
"I'm delighted to see you all safely returned." Her voice was prim and firm as ever, but the current of warmth was easily detectable. Hermione found herself smiling at her Head of House, feeling genuine affection for Minerva McGonagall and her unflinching loyalty.
"How are you, Professor?" Harry asked, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.
"Very well, Potter, thank you. Everyone is well. Professor Dumbledore is looking forward to welcoming you back."
"We're pleased to be back, Professor," Ron said for them all.
"Do you wish to join the Sorting feast? Or would you rather retire to Gryffindor Tower? The house-elves can bring food up to you."
"I think it would be less disruptive if the school concentrated on the Sorting rather than our presence," Hermione said quietly. "If that doesn't seem too arrogant, Professor."
"Not at all. In fact, a wise choice." McGonagall gave another rare smile. "I think you'll be pleasantly surprised to find how many of your fellows have also returned this year. Mr Longbottom is here, as are Thomas and Finnigan."
Harry and Ron exchanged happy grins at the mention of their old friends. Hermione, not about to hope for the return of the dormitory mates she'd never found any common ground with, wondered if she would be assigned one of the coveted single rooms.
McGongall straightened her hat. "I must attend to the first years. I've left them in Professor Snape's hands whilst I met you."
The boys couldn't have looked more horrified if McGonagall had admitted to torturing the new students with red-hot pokers and brimstone. She sent them a wry glare.
"I believe your arrival is being awaited in Gryffindor Tower. In the morning, we will address your NEWT subjects and timetables. The password is Mona Lisa. The Fat Lady has become something of a Renaissance buff over the summer, Merlin help us all."
With that she swept off to rescue the first years from whatever unpleasantness Snape was subjecting them to. Gathering their belongings, the three began to the long climb up the unpredictable staircases to the seventh floor until they found themselves standing before the familiar portrait. The Fat Lady beamed at them, eager to deliver a De Vinci-based lecture, but was fortuitously interrupted by Sir Cadogan charging uninvited into her frame to bellow his greetings. Taking advantage of the ensuing screeching, they hurriedly climbed through the portrait hole.
Three familiar faces grinned widely at them as roars of recognition and pleasure erupted. Neville, beginning his Herbology apprenticeship with Professor Sprout whilst trying again to get passing grades in his other NEWT subjects. Dean Thomas, a year on the run as a Muggleborn during Umbridge's reign of terror at the Ministry, now in the same educational position as his best friend who had failed to sit any of his exams despite remaining at Hogwarts. They were all in high spirits, delighted to be reunited, and although they greeted her joyfully, Hermione knew they were interested mostly in Harry and Ron.
As soon as the boys were distracted by each other, she took the opportunity to escape up the girls' staircase. As usual, elegant white cards bearing the students' surnames were affixed to the left of each door. Finally finding hers, she saw 'Weasley' printed on the card below.
Ginny had already made her usual impact on the large double room. One four-poster bed was covered in crumpled clothes; a Cleansweep 7 and a battered Quidditch kit was strewn across the carpet. Several textbooks, mistreated by numerous previous owners, were stacked haphazardly on one desk.
Hermione's trunk sat neatly by the second bed, the one next to the window. She smiled when she saw Ginny had not taken her favoured position. She had shared a room so often with the youngest Weasley during holidays that it didn't bother her to have been placed in a double instead of the desired single. Anything was an improvement on six years sharing with Lavender and Parvati.
A few brief flicks of her wand sent her belongings to their appropriate places and she settled on the softness of the kingsize mattress, heaving a gentle sigh. She was happy to be back, she truly was. Hogwarts was her home in the wizarding world; she loved the school as fiercely as any other student and it was a secret relief to return to the warm security of the castle. To have hot baths whenever she wanted, to be free from trying to cook trout and covering her every footstep and waking every morning wondering if today would be the day they all met Death head on.
But she couldn't deny the inescapable knowledge that it couldn't be the same, even though she knew Hogwarts would protect them. Too much had changed, both personally and within the wider magical world. The childish ignorance, what little had remained, was gone and nothing would bring it back.
The lives they had known, the world they had known, were unrecognisable. And that scared her more than she was prepared to admit.
