I stare at the hotel door, my heart pounding. This past week was spent in disbelief. I thought the situation with Bo was all he wanted from me. He had always spoken about the things in his life with such passion I couldn't help feeling in awe of my friend. When I made my buzzed first move months ago, I thought it would be the start of more. Then I woke in the early hours the following morning with the insistent idea that it was a one-time thing for him. The thought causing me more pain than it should. It's not like we had made any declarations of love or anything of the sort. I slipped from his room to avoid the awkward conversation I was sure he would try to give me. When I received a call from the man later, my natural instinct was to act like nothing happened. When he avoided the subject also I buried the bubbling feelings I had been feeling for close to a year. Not deep enough though. Every conversation with the person who was supposed to be my friend caused the pain to settle deeper and deeper into my heart until I would find myself at the bar again, trying to numb it the only way I knew how. Then not thinking about the consequences I would feel when the numbness wore off, fall back into bed with the man. The pattern repeating until Bo confronted me six days ago. The same passion he spoke about everything spilled out of him. Then he said he wished I loved him. He wished that I wanted him. That I was hurting him. It broke me. The thought of being wanted by someone like him. Old thoughts and fears choked me as I stared at him, wishing more than anything that I could tell him everything I felt with the same passion that he possessed. I would never be able to match him no matter how hard I try."
"Hey, Rose," Bo states softly.
I blink, realizing sometime during me being lost in thought he had opened the door.
"You've been standing out here for some time now. Would you like to come in?"
I nod wordlessly, moving passed when he motions to the open door.
"You want to sit?"
I stare at the bed before shaking my head.
"I'm not going to attack you." He drops to the edge of the bed. "Regardless of what you have to say." He drops his head.
I chew on my bottom lip as I watch him hide behind his hair.
"Bo, I am not good enough for you," I sigh. "I want to be. I do. You make me want to be but…You're going to tire of me soon."
His head pops up to stare at me.
"Everybody does," I shrug, wiping at the traitorous tears streaming down my face. "I have no personality. No passion. I don't belong with anyone. Let alone someone like you. So full of life and love. You said that you wanted me to love you like I do when I'm not thinking. The fact is I always love you; I just can't act on it unless I'm not thinking. I want you more than I can stand. And it scares me because I know eventually you are going to walk away and I won't know what to do with all these feelings."
"No," he growls, standing.
"That's what you say now."
He moves to stand in front of me, hands cupping my face. "Rose…"
"Everybody leaves, Bo. The walls you claim I have is to protect myself from that."
Leaning down, he presses his forehead to mine, his eyes staring into mine. "Stay with me tonight," he whispers. "Let me show you."
"I don't…"
"Please, Rose. Just give me one full night without your walls. Just one night."
"I don't have anything to wear. I have to go back to my room."
"Wear one of my tees. I know you," he smiles. "I let you out of my sight and I'll never see you again. Please Rose."
"Am I allowed to clean up on my own," I smirk at the smile that crosses his face.
"Sure," he grins, his thumbs caressing my cheeks. "Take off this make-up and relax some. I'll find you a shirt to sleep in."
Moving towards the bathroom, I glace back at the man before I disappear into the bathroom. Scrubbing my face, I grimace at the mess made on the hotel's washcloth, knowing I didn't get everything. "I'll have to make time for a deep cleansing when I get back to my room."
"Knock, knock," Bo calls. "Found a shirt." He holds up a B Team shirt.
I take it smirking as I toss it onto the counter beside me. "A thin white tee. Why don't I just sleep naked?"
"Wouldn't be the first time," he smiles.
Pulling my shirt over my head, I drop it to the floor before going to the clasp of my bra. Bo's hands are there before mine. He expertly unhooks it before sliding it down my arms, pressing a light kiss over my shoulder. I take a stuttering breath.
"No walls, remember," he sighs, nuzzling along my jaw.
"I'm trying."
"I know, Rosie. Just a reminder." His hands skim down my side and I struggle to breath. "I'm not going to do anything until you tell me it's okay. I just want you." His hands make a slow trip north. "I don't know why you can't see that. I want every single part of you, even the perceived flaws you think you have. The ones that I don't even see because of everything positive I see in you."
My hands come out to grip his biceps. "Bo," I breath.
"Yeah?"
"Are you going to help me finish getting ready for bed or are we just gonna stay here all night?"
His hands drop to my jeans as his lips cover mine. "I have all night with you, remember. I'm going to take my time." His lips trace along my jaw.
I close my eyes against the fear.
"Rose," he breathes against my throat.
"I'm still with you." My hands move to his hair. "Trying to hold the walls at bay."
"Want me to stop?"
"No," I whimper.
"Okay," his lips ghost across my collarbone, as his hands work my jeans off my hips.
I kick them to the side as his lips explore my skin in silence before pressing his forehead to mine again. "You still with me, Rose?"
I open my eyes to smile at him. "Take me to bed, Bo."
He stands studying me and I move to step around him. His hand comes out to stop me, eyes boring into mine. "Rose…"
Leaning up I press a light kiss to his lips. "I love you and I want you right now. No drinks. No walls. Thinking completely straight. Or maybe you're starting to rethink this," I chew on my bottom lip.
"That damn lip bite," he growls, draping my over one shoulder.
"Is that a complaint," I ask his back as he moves into the main room.
A smack on my ass is my only answer. Plopping me onto the bed, his body covering mine, soft pecks across my lips as one hand grips my hip. "I love you more than I can even put into words, Rosie. Never doubt that," he breathes, dropping his lips to my shoulder again. "You shouldn't doubt yourself either," he informs me against my skin as my fingers tangle in his hair. His mouth latches on over my collarbone and I arch against him as he sucks a mark there before pulling back slightly. "You're so beautiful." His hands come up pressing my breast together as he places open mouth kisses across my chest, his thumbs flicking softly over the harden peaks of my nipples. "So sweet." One hand moving so his tongue can take over lavishing my nipple.
I groan softly, watching him through half lidded eyes.
"So caring," he breathes, turning his head to show the other nipple attention. "Funny." His mouth moves southward and I hold my breath. He stops nuzzling his nose along my lower belly just above the waistband of my panties. "And so starved for touch that you are probably already soaked from this little bit of attention." His eyes come up to meet mine and I nod. "So sad," he breathes, the heat of his breath seeping through the only article of clothing I have left.
"Bo," I whine.
"We have all the time in the world," he mumbles.
"Now," I whimper as he holds my hips when I start to squirm beneath him.
"No," he sighs, moving back up my body.
"Please," I whine.
"Not yet."
"Bo…"
He twists his body as I reach for him, somehow evading my touch without pulling away from me. His hands exploring my skin as he kisses a path up my center.
"This is about you, Rosie. I know everything you want. Everything you need. I know you. Down to a t."
"Then why don't you give me what I want?"
"Because you want this," he sighs, rubbing his hardening ridge against me. "But what you need is this." His hand skip down my ribs sparking electricity along my skin.
"Meet me in the middle," I sigh, tugging his shirt over his head. My lips returning his ministrations against his torso.
A deep groan slips from his lips as my lips encase his nipple.
"Like that," I smile, glancing up at his face before repeating the action.
He allows his head to hang as I work my way downward. "Rose, don't," he whispers as I take the waistband of his shorts between my teeth.
I pout as I work myself back up and he chuckles as I reach his mouth again, nipping my bottom lip. One arm snakes beneath my hips lifting my slightly as his opposite hand rids the last piece of clothing covering my body. "You win," he grins.
My hands drop to work his shorts from his hips before allowing him to swoop it up to press a line of kisses along the ticklish skin on the inside of my arm.
"Say it again," he whispers.
I think about teasing him and asking what he wanted me to say but the heated look he pins me with changes my mind. "I love you and I want you right now. No drinks. No walls. Thinking completely straight. I hope you feel…want the same."
"You have no idea."
I release a breath I didn't realize I was holding as he sheathes himself. "I love you."
"I love you more than you'll ever know, Rosie," he sighs, moving slowly. "Never forget that, Rosie," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to my lips. "Never," his lips slide down so he can bury his face against my throat.
"Never," I echo.
X
Bo is still asleep when I wake the following morning. I stretch the small aches from my overused muscles as I watch the man snore softly beside me. Wiggling from beneath his arm, I pull on Bo's discarded shirt and my jeans before slipping from the room.
"Good morning, Roselyn," a voice chuckles.
"Morning Curtis."
"Your usual Friday night with Bo," he nods towards the door I just exited.
"Not exactly," I smile. "It was start of something new I think."
"A more permanent thing?"
I nod shyly.
"Good. I'll see you both at the car later," he smiles. "Try not to be too late."
"I make no guarantees."
Rushing to my room, I gather my things before ordering breakfast for Bo's room. I hum as I make my way back and let myself into the room. Bo looks up from his seat on the edge of the bed, a look of devastation on his face.
"Bo, what…"
"You came back," he breathes, standing.
"I thought that's what…what you wanted. I thought…"
His lips cut off the end of my sentence. "You came back. You really…Came back to me," he grins.
"Always," I smile, tangling my hands into his messy hair. "Until you don't want me anymore."
"That…Will…Never…Happen," he states between kisses.
"I ordered breakfast. We should have enough time to shower and clean up. Afterwards, we can discuss where we go from here." I bite my lip as I wait for his answer.
"You're just using that lip bite against me now," he chuckles. "Shower, clean up, and then I feel like getting dirty again," he smiles. "Breakfast to go and the only discussion we need is how we're getting rid of Curtis tonight."
"I have a single room with a California king in the next city," I smile, pulling him down for another kiss.
"God, I love you," he growls, scooping me into his arms as moves to the bathroom.
