Title: What the People Want

Author: Mindy

Rating: K

Disclaimer: Tina's et al.

Spoilers: None really.

Pairing: Jack/Liz

Summary: There's nothing wrong with giving the people what they want.

-x-x-x-

"So." Liz folded her hands in front of her as the waiter whisked her plate away. "Tell me. What'd you think?"

Jack swallowed his wine, casting a glance at the script that lay on the table between them. "It's good, Lemon. Very good."

"Yeah?"

"Yes." He bobbed his head a few times. "The characters, the dialogue, everything."

She lifted a brow, expectant. "But?"

"Well…" He took another sip, took a breath. "Who's your market? Who's going to watch it?"

"I dunno." She gave a shrug. "Women like me, I guess."

The corner of Jack's mouth curled up. "There are no women like you, Lemon."

Liz smiled dryly. "There are plenty of women like me, Jack. With the same awful eating habits and bad hair...months and hatred of high heels. Just because you don't date 'em or they don't appear in your latest season of MILF Island, does not mean they don't exist. There is a whole world out there full of Liz Lemons. Okay?"

"What a frightening thought," he murmured.

She rolled her eyes. "What's this got to do with my script?"

"Well," he mused, head tipped to one side, "I'm not sure the ending is quite right. For your target audience, I mean."

"What d'you mean?" she asked. "It's a romantic comedy, Jack. An off-beat one but it has to have a happy ending. And she ends up with her perfect guy."

"Right. Dean, the ah-"

"Archaeologist."

Jack paused, running an eye over her: "So we're off pilots now and onto adventurers, are we?"

"Huh?"

"To be honest, Lemon-" he paused again, pouring himself another glass of wine, "Dean's a bit of a bore."

Her brow scrunched. "What? You've got to be kidding me! He's gorgeous and smart and perfect."

"Exactly," Jack replied. "Perfect is boring."

"You're wrong," she protested, wagging her head. "Dean is every woman's fantasy."

"And therein lies your problem," he responded smoothly. "Fantasies are fabulous. For one night. Or a weekend at the most. After which, they too become rather boring. Believe me, I know."

"I do not want to know how."

"No. You definitely do not."

Her brow scrunched further. "What're you saying then? I need to beef up the character of Dean? Make him somehow less likeable?"

"Actually," Jack said, taking a slow sip, "I think you should take another look at the relationship between the main character and her superior. That's the dynamic that has real bite to it, that's where all the substance of the story is."

Liz looked down at her script. "But that's just an incidental relationship. And they fight all the time."

"Yes, they do," he murmured, eyes twinkling with odd delight. "It's very exciting to read, Lemon. If you're lucky enough to get good leads in those roles, then you might really be onto something."

"But-" she blinked at him a moment. "Her boss is…old."

Jack waved a hand. "He's worldly."

"He's a womanizer."

"He's…charming."

"He's mean to her. All the time."

"He demands the best of her."

"No, Jack," she muttered, voice definite and defiant, "He's arrogant and insulting and exasperating and smug."

Jack shrugged mildly. "You wrote him that way, Lemon. I'm just pointing out that, as a character, he works." He leant closer, lowering his voice to add, "They work."

Liz did not look sold. "But he's just…so wrong. For her, I mean."

"Really? I rather like him."

"Of course you do."

"And so does your main character." He tapped the pile of pages with two fingers. "That's where you should be focusing in my opinion. That's where all the heat is."

Her lips parted, before she said in a rush, "But there's not meant to be heat, I didn't want heat there, I didn't write it that way."

Jack shrugged again. "Nevertheless."

She slumped in her seat, examining him for a moment with a doubtful pout. "You're not suggesting she get with- that she end up with the boss dude are you? Because that would be super weird and gross."

"She could do a lot worse," he muttered into his glass.

Now she leant forward, across the table. "May I remind you that I am attempting to write something here that could draw an actual audience? Something that people might want to see? Something they'd pay to see?"

He nodded once. "I'm aware of that."

"Well…" she made a face of disgust, "people don't want to see people like that making out."

He gave a low, wry chuckle. "O-ho, I wouldn't be so sure."

"But, come on, Jack, really. Isn't it just a little cliche? The opposites that always disagree being secretly in love? The friends who've been under each other's noses the whole time suddenly realizing they love each other before the end credits roll? It's been done to death. Only the extremely gullible are gonna buy that." She paused. "I mean, right?"

Jack released a patient breath. "Lemon, cliches are cliche for a reason. They work. They ring true. And I'm sure you could put your own unique spin on it. Besides, there is absolutely nothing wrong with-"

"Being fun and popular and giving the people what they want. I know, I know." She sighed then reached for the script, flicking through it, front to back. "Oh boy…another rewrite."

"Trust me." Jack winked at her. "You won't regret it."

She eyed him askance, told him firmly, "To be clear, I am not writing a sex scene between these two. My creative capabilities do not extend that far. Just so's you know."

"Then you'll have to get someone else to read your next draft."

"Seriously?"

He waved his glass at her script. "Frankly, I wouldn't see any point. Sex sells, Lemon. The sooner you learn that the better off you will be. It's the golden rule of…well, everything."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Remind me again why I ask for your opinion?"

"Because I'm always right."

"Right," she huffed as the waiter appeared beside her. She reached for one dessert before he could lay it in front of her. "And now I'm going to eat my dessert."

"That's my dessert," Jack said, watching her.

"Not anymore," she told him, digging her fork into the cherry, chocolaty thing. "So what d'you think of the main character anyway? Too nutty? Too neurotic?"

"Loved her," Jack replied as the other dessert was placed in front of him.

Liz looked up from her plate. "Really."

"Wouldn't change a thing," he added, giving the waiter a nod of thanks.

Her voice rose an octave. "Really?"

"Well-" Jack eyed his stolen dessert, then slid his eyes up to meet hers, "her penchant for pilfering other people's food is ever so slightly frustrating, but also rather…"

Liz waved her fork in the air. "Endearing?"

He smiled. "Precisely."

"Good," she nodded, filling her mouth with cake and muttering around it, "That's totally what I was going for."

"A toast," Jack announced, lifting his wineglass. "To giving people what they want."

Liz lifted her coffee cup and clinked it against his glass, adding gleefully, "And me making lots and lots of money out of it."

Jack gave a short, sharp laugh. "Now I'll definitely drink to that."

END.