Flight of the bumble-GLEE.
A fan fiction*
*more like fan BITCHIN' **
**and the fan in "fan fiction" is short for FANTASTIC***
*** and the "F" in fantastic is short for "FUCKINYESMATE"
It was a normal day in Glee high school, all the non-glee people were going about their business, living their absolutely pointless shitty lives while all the glee people were waiting in the glee room. Because Today was no ordinary day in Glee high school, today 2 new transfer students were coming into the school.
"I sure hope she's not hotter than me" said one of the girls, while she was eyeing up Chris Colfer, who despite being gay in real life and Glee life is like sooooooooooo hot.
"I heard that she was so cool and intelligent and attractive and individual and just herself and doesn't even try to be anyone else that that all the other girls in her last school committed suicide by cutting themselves cos they were jealous of her." Said someone Asian.
But before anyone could say anything else the doors burst open and the 2 new transfer students majestically glided into the room. One of them was Clovis-bot a sexy android cyborg robot carved form pure titanium and 100 karat platinum, with rockets on the back of her legs. The other one was Malcolm from Malcolm in the middle (who I will from now on refer to as Malcolm or MITM, depending on how I feel at the time).
Everyone gasped. They were amazed. What were these 2 amazing people doing in their school, gracing them with their presence. There was an hour when no-one said anything cos it was just like "WHAT THE HELL". One person was not happy though. It was Chris Colfer by the way. He was threatened by clovis-bot especially, worrying and knowing that he wouldn't be the best anymore.
"I've heard that you were really clever and invented stuff Malcolm" said someone who was behind the 2 of them now cos they had walked past him. He obviously wanted to talk to Clovis-bot more, but was too shy. MITM blushed shyly and brushed the hair from his face. "Thanks, but I really owe it all to Clovis-bot. She taught me everything I know. She's amazing." Clovis-bot wasn't even listening, she had more important shit to think about.
Chris Colfer had had had had enough of Clovis-bot acting like she was better than anyone else, even though objectively she was. "Alright then, if you think you're better than everyone else. Let's see you sing better than anyone else." Chris Colfer thought he'd got Clovis-bot there.
Chris Colfer started singing "Barbie Girl" and it was really fun. He was really good at it and there were loads of close ups of his twinkling eyes. Other people started dancing behind him with ribbons and lights. Then it was Clovis-bot's turn, she smiled slyly and decided that instead of doing a fun and happy song like Chris did, she was going to do a serious song to show that she had a dark and sensitive and emotionally powerful side. She sung "stop me" by the smiths, and she sung it with all her soul and she didn't even need all the theatrics and dancing because all the theatrics was being done in the emotions in the listener's heads. Everyone was awestruck and gasped and cried cos it was so sad but Clovis-bot winked slyly so people knew that although the song made everyone else sad, Clovis-bot was strong and independent and could control other people's emotions and her own. The jewish characters decided to stop worshipping jewish god and switch to worshipping her instead there and then. The jewish guy's foreskin grew back there and then. Chris was so amazed that he went temporarily straight for a second, but he went back quickly so he doesn't lose any of the good things that being gay makes him.
Another gay (Sam), after seeing how beautiful and talented Clovis-bot was, went all the way straight and had to confront Clovis-bot there and then. "I've never been attracted to a woman before but now you are all I need" he said full of hot-not-gay-any-more lust. "ACCESS DENIED!" She said to him assertively yet seductively. Obviously this only made him more attracted to her, but he knew she was off the menu, so he would have to go back to being gay. Chris Colfer beckoned sam (the other gay) and how beautiful he was made sam take off his clothes even faster, but he was still crying from being rejected by the most wondrous robot woman ever. They started kissing each other then had sex in front of everyone. Seriously.
MITM related to Sam's sadness because he knew he was also incomparable to Clovis-bot and would never have her affection. "If I can't have you I think I will go gay as well my beautiful darling." Clovis-bot looked at MITM sexily yet righteously. Malcolm walked over to Sam and Chris Colfer who were still having sex again. "Any room for me" he asked shyly? "YES! IN MY ASS!" replied Sam (who is gay). Malcolm grimaced; he had gone gay but seriously, that's a bit forward. Chris Colfer just smiled happily. MITM joined in with the sex.
The head cheerleader walked up to clovis with her 2 friends thinking she was the queen of the world. "So how come you're turning all these guys away, guess you don't want them cos you're not good at sex at all" said the head cheerleader like the piece of shit she is. Her 2 friends laughed cos they were too afraid to have their own opinions and just be themselves for once in their lives. "Actually, it's because I'm a lesbian!" said Clovis-bot proudly and majestically. "what, you can't just like be a lesbian" said the head cheerleader, not even knowing what she's talking about. "We'll see about that" said Clovis-bot cheekily, winking with her hands on her hips "I'll just have to make you lesbain".
Before the head cheerleader could do anything, Clovis-bot tenderly and seductively reached out and grabbed her boob. At first the head cheerleader was like "what the hell" but within less than a fraction of a second she was completely sexually aroused. "OH GOD!" said the head cheerleader, pretty much having an orgasm, "I'VE NEVER FELT SO SEXY!" "That's cos you are" said Clovis-bot triumphantly and enigmatically. Then the lesbian cheerleader came out and took off her bra and let the other two feel her boobs. The other cheerleader crept away because, although she didn't want to be left out, she felt very self conscious.
So there were 2 gay threesomes happening at once in the glee room. The lesbian one was much sexier because Clovis-bot's robot body made her more efficient. The people in the gay threesome (like sam( who's gay)), were even turned on by how sexy the lesbian threesome was but they all had to pretend they weren't so as not to offend each other so they over compensated and went at it super hardcore. All except Chris Colfer, he's gay to the core except for that one second earlier.
Then suddenly out of nowhere, a blue box started to materialise. It was the tardis. Doctor Who stepped out but no-one stopped sexing. After him came Rory and Amy Pond played by Karen Gillan (seriously, just typing her name has given me a semi). "Alright everyone, you guys are having way too much sex and it's disrupting the continuum of my quantum difribulators. You need to stop!" said the doctor (Who) and Clovis-bot understood every word of it cos she was so clever. Mr Who (phD) walked over to clovis-bot and was about to challenge her to a battle of wits (which she would have won) when Sue, the gym coach who's played by a woman who's a lesbian in real life, jumped out and shot him for some reason. The doctor started to regenerate and his clothes flew off from all the energy. When all the dazzling light had cleared it turned out that the doctor was now played by red haired pop sensation Paloma Faith (yeah, the doctor can be a girl too. Why not. Equal rights an' all).
Karen Gillan (Ok, it's moved from semi to three quarters now) looked at the lesbian threesome that was still going on and got an idea; to be a lesbian. She walked over to the doctor shyly (who, in case you forgot, is now a naked woman and everything) and bascically, well, got freaky on that bitch. Rory didn't have a problem with this (seriously who would?) in fact he decided to pick up a nearby camera to immortalisE THIS MOMENT (woops caps lock). Unfortunately it wasn't actually a camera, but a hypoclonomic somatic transcriber which MITM invented (But roboClovis (which she is now called) did all of the actual hard work in making and just let Malcolm have the credit).
The device transformed Rory into every single girl that comes up when you type "sexy redheads" into google images with the safe search off and they were all lesbians so there were basically loads of hot red-headed girls in the glee room and they were all getting off with each other for ages. You should have been there man!
This went on for 2 weeks until everyone was tired except for Karen Gillan and roboClovis. Karen looked around and then looked into RoboClovis' beguiling titanium alloy eyes. "RoboClovis, You are more beautiful and individual and loving than all these other women combined. I would rather just les-out with you and no-one else. Is that what you would like?" She pleaded shyly, brushing the ginger hair from her face.
RoboClovis turnd her head and winked. "Affirmitive" she said sexily and commandingly and everyone orgasmed there and then. Sometimes twice.
THE END
