Dearest Gwen,

Where do I begin? It's been five months, but each day it's a new pain. Every morning I wake and for a second, I forget. The pain, the heartache... the tears. I can't bring myself to say it out loud; my goodbyes. I wish with all my heart to believe that you'll be just around the corner. That when my phone rings, I'll answer and hear your voice on the other side. My heart beats yet with no purpose now. The sun brings warmth to all things, except me. I can feel you all around me. The wind in my hair, the flowers that grow in the park by your house. I sit on your porch sometimes, waiting for you to come home. Back to me. I've cried all of the tears that I can but they're not enough. Sleep is my only refuge from this torture. There, you are still so real... I can reach out and touch you. You look at me and tell me that everything is going to be ok. And in that moment, I believe you; my cares are lifted away. How can you part with a piece of your very soul? I'm so angry with myself, Gwen. It's my job to protect millions of people from danger, and I couldn't save the one person I love more than life itself. I know you would tell me to not blame myself. That it was your choice as much as mine, but it doesn't matter. I've prayed countless times that I could trade my life for yours. You least of all people deserved this fate. You were perfect in every way, flawless and without fault. You were the most beautiful song ever written, but only the luckiest of us ever got to hear it. I'm so sorry, for everything. The pain I've caused your family, my failure to protect you. Most of all, I'm sorry for not telling you every second of every day since the first time I saw you, how much I love you. I can hear you telling me to be strong, that we'll be together again someday, but even forever would not be long enough. We are still on the same path you see, you're just waiting for me at the finish line.

I am so lost without you.

Can you see me, Gwen? Are you proud?

Peter