Disclaimer: Aw mow, how thou wish thou owned tis Fruits Basket, but alas, thou does not.(sounds kind of poetic doesn't it?) And now I bring to you Chapter 1! Enjoy!
It was another hot summer day at Shigure's house. Kyo sat on the floor of the kitchen, trying to cool off on the semi-cold tiles.
"Why the hell is it so damn hot?" he yelled to no one in particular.
"It might be because you broke the air conditioner last week with that weird incident about the moose eating Yuki's cheese and him attacking you for it." answered Shigure, who was trying to get into the kitchen.
Kyo stared at the wall and thought about what had happened that fateful morning...
-FLASHBACK-
Kyo opened the refrigerator door and took out the milk. Walking over to the table, he dropped into a chair and was about to start chugging when Yuki walked down the stairs, still half asleep.
"Noo...No! Stay back you moose!" Yuki muttered.
Kyo looked up and stared at Yuki like he was a weirdo. "Yo ratboy, what are you talking about?"
"Get away! "Leave my cheese alone!" Yuki said. "What do you mean?" Kyo asked again. Yuki shouted, "Move you stupid moose, that's mine!" and rushed toward Kyo. "What the-!" Kyo rose up and jumped out of the way as Yuki barreled past him.
"What the hell are you doing, you freak?" Yuki muttered something else and ran towards Kyo again, this time grabbing him and putting him in a headlock, forcing his mouth open, and shoving the nearest item into his mouth. Unfortunately for Kyo, that item was a half-emptied, open jar of hot sauce, and when Kyo tasted that sauce, he had to find some way to get himself away from the fiery inferno of heat that blasted through his mouth. Kyo threw Yuki off of him, ran to the air conditioning controls and turned the air up to the highest point.
Soon, Kyo realized that an a/c would take a while to get blowing, so he ran back to the kitchen and found his milk. Kyo chugged that gallon of milk until he was happy and stopped sweating. He went over to Yuki and punched him in the face.
Bad idea for Kyo.
"What the heck?" Yuki shouted and finally woke up. "Oh crap." Kyo thought as Yuki walked toward him with a murderous look in his eye. By the time Tohru and Shigure came downstairs, Kyo was lying on the floor of the kitchen, knocked out. "Oh no Kyo!" Tohru exclaimed and bent down to check on him. "What's going on down here?" Shigure asked Yuki. "Wait...did Kyo attack you while you were asleep again?"
"I...don't even remember really...all I remember is that damn moose was trying to eat my cheese! So I gave the moose a drink and then I felt Kyo punch me for no reason so I knocked him out." Yuki explained.
Kyo suddenly jumped up and ran to the table, grabbed the last of the milk and went to the a/c. "Kyo-kun are you better already?" Tohru called. Kyo paid no attention to her, and started to mumble,"Damn moose! Damn cheese! Damn milk!" Shigure said, "Kyo what are doing with my precious a/c and that milk?"
"I am killing the moose!" Kyo screamed like an insane person and punched the a/c controls,poured milk over the buttons, and short-circuited the entire thing. "Finally! The moose is dead!" Kyo laughed maniacally and ran upstairs.
Yuki said, "I didn't want to kill the moose..."
Tohru stood there open mouthed while Shigure sobbed,"My a/c! Oh my poor, dead moosified a/c!
-END OF LONG FLASHBACK-
"-And that is why it is so hot Kyo." Shigure finished. "Oh yeah...but you did ask the main house to send someone to fix it right?" Kyo asked.
"Well duh. I'm not going to burn up because of you." Shigure replied as he stepped over Kyo and sat down in the kitchen.
"Whatever! When is this person supposed to get here and fix the damn thing anyway?" Kyo retorted.
On cue, the doorbell rang just then and there. "Kyyyoooo...will you answer the door?" Shigure whined.
"No. It's too hot to move." Kyo argued.
"Please Kyo-kun?"
"No! Get it yourself!"
Shigures teary eyes poked over the top of his trademark fan and he said,"Well I guess we'll just have to let Tohru get up and walk all the way over here to the answer the door. How sad."
Kyo jumped up and on the way out he said,"No I'll get the damn door you lazy dog."
Shigure smiled and plopped his feet up. "Works every time."
Kyo reached the door and opened it to see Hatsuharu standing on the door looking confused and hot. He was dressed in all black that looked extremely uncomfortable in this heat. "What's up Haru." Kyo greeted him.
"SHHH! No time to talk! Let me in quick!" Haru said as he rushed past Kyo and closed and locked the door. "Haru what's going on?" Kyo asked as he stood there in bewilderment.
"I have some urgent news to tell you that can determine the great balance between life and death, of every mystery of the universe, and of the essence of the world!"
"Whoa! What is going on? Haru you've got to tell me!" Kyo said in complete awe.
*insert creepy music here* Whoa...this is getting creepy good... If you want to find out Haru's super important news, watch out for the next chapter coming soon! (Hopefully)
