"Russia, dude - that's a great idea!"
Several heads turned in the conference room, bewildered nations torn away from debating probable fixes for the Gulf Oil Spill by America's cheery voice. What the enthusiastic blond had just said was enough to make the jumpier nations - notably Latvia - drop whatever they were holding, which was, in many cases, a piping hot mug of coffee. Among strings of curses in twenty different languages, all eyes turned to two people engaged in a bizarre conversation. Was that America… agreeing with Russia on something…?
"I figured you would take to the idea. It is unconventional, yes?"
"And totally freakin' awesome!"
Completely out of the loop, England rubbed his temples, feeling the beginning of a headache coming on. "Would either of you care to fill me in on your 'grand scheme'? I am, as you would say, 'under the gun' on this issue."
America nodded gleefully before sprinting to the big dry erase board at the head of the conference hall, grabbing the attention of everyone assembled in the process. He snatched up a marker and scrawled a crude diagram of the gushing well, then drew something above that looked suspiciously like a…
"America. Is that a missile?"
"Hell yes!" America crowed, adding speed lines and a trajectory to the drawing, as well as the word 'BOOM' in all caps. "Best plan to stop the leak ever, inspired by my good friend Russia…"
He turned to his audience with a 100-watt grin.
"I'm gonna nuke it!"
"NO!"
A/N: I couldn't resist. Really.
Okay, so I know this is old news (it was one of the first options proposed to stop the oil leak), but I only just heard about it tonight. And I had to write this. So I did. In ten minutes. Please excuse any errors. XD
Apparently, in 1966, in response to a leaking gas well in the Bukhara province of what was then the Uzbek Soviet Socialist Republic, the Soviet Union used a subterranean nuclear detonation to collapse the drill channel, thus sealing the leak. They used the same technique in four other instances, with varying success. Now a Russian newspaper, Komsomolskaya Pravda, has called on the US to consider "the nuclear option."
Sometimes, this stuff writes itself.
SOURCES:
- http(colon)(double slash)www(dot)nytimes(dot)com(slash)2010(slash)06(slash)03(slash)us(slash)03nuke(dot)html
- http(colon)(double slash)translate(dot)google(dot)com(slash)translate?js(equals) y&prev(equals) _t&hl(equals) en&ie(equals) UTF-8&layout(equals) 1&eotf(equals) 1&u(equals) http%3A%2F%2Fwww(dot)kp(dot)ru%2Fdaily%2F24482%2F640124%2F&sl(equals) ru&tl(equals) en
- http(colon)(double slash)article(dot)nationalreview(dot)com(slash)435325(slash)nuke-it(slash)daniel-foster
