I don't know. Maybe one day I just got sick of listening to all of them. I can't really tell you how it is that this happened, or why. I can barely even believe that this has happened.
I was just sick of it, you know? Sick of them telling me that I can't do this and I have to do that, and I need to listen up and pay attention, and to stop doing that! I just got sick of it.
There are a lot of maybes here, but I don't really care. I guess that the maybes were always there, and I just now started seeing them. Actually, I'm pretty sure I saw them the whole time, but was trying to ignore them, trying to shut my eyes and just get one nights worth of sleep.
I was sick of living my life one minute at a time, never knowing if the next time I turned a corner I would be dead, or something would happen to the Flock. It felt like, why me?
I was sick of them telling me to save the world, putting everything on me. I'd always been sick of it, but now? Now I just wanted to stop. To rest. My will to survive was starting to fade. I wasn't even scared anymore, just tired.
Maybe one day I just got sick of no one listening to me. Maybe that's why I left.
But my ghosts haunted me still, and then he found me. He was angry, cold, and terrified. How could I have left him? No, no, don't answer that—it was rhetorical. But the point is, even when I was just sick of it all, even when I was gone, he brought me back.
I always sort of loved him. He knew who I was, he could understand me. Maybe I'm crazy. I say it often enough.
All I know is, one day, I got sick of it all, and because of me, so many good people ended up—people like Ella and her mom, and… just normal people. I can't really think of that many that I know of, but that's because most of the humans I know are screwed up, mad scientists—literally.
What can I say? When everything is said and done, he is the one who holds me, who keeps me anchored. He is the one I love.
