I was sitting in the car, looking out the window and thinking how much I'm going to miss this place. Nashville was where I was born. All my friends were here, I didn't want to leave. No one likes change, but if this is what makes my dad happy, I guess I have to be on board with the situation.
"Sam, you've been awfully quiet", my dad said looking at me in the rear view mirror, "Is everything okay?"
Sometimes I believe my parents don't ever listen to a word I say. My actions don't speak loud enough for them. I guess their main focus is on my little brother and sister. Stacy and Stevie. I guess once you've grown up, they lose interest in you.
"I don't want to move", I told him.
My dad and mom looked at each other. My dad was up for some big job offer in Lima, Ohio. I tried to convince my mom to let me stay with my Aunt and Uncle in Nashville. They wanted me to experience a new chapter, and new surroundings.
"Honey, listen, this is going to be good for us, for you. McKinley High School has a great Athletic Program. You can make new friends here", my mom always tries to look for the brighter side in situations like this.
"It's going to be my senior year and I'm forced to be at a new school where I don't know a single person there. You guys are ruining my life", I didn't understand why they wouldn't let me stay and finish my last year in high school in Tennessee.
"Samuel Evans, don't start", my father said.
"Give Lima a chance honey, you may learn to like it", my mom said.
The drive to Lima was exhausting. Seeing nothing but corn fields out the window just made me want to fall asleep. I'm not good with new places. I remember when I moved to a different high school in Nashville, all the kids made fun of my lips. That's always the case. For me, it's always hard to fit in. I'm always an outcast and I never fit in. Right when I was making friends, my dad thinks it's okay to pick me up and drop me in a completely different habitat.
It took about 3 days to drive to Lima. It wasn't a big city and it wasn't a small town either. I guess it was big enough for me to handle. My father drove around the city to show us what was here. He drove to the Elementary School to show my brother and sister their school. He drove to his new job location, which was big building. One of the ones you'd see in New York City. Eventually he drove me to McKinley High. Where I would start and finish my high school career.
There seemed to be 3 different kinds of neighborhoods here in Lima, basically it labeled Rich, Middle Class and Poor when you looked at them. My parents don't have a lot of money, but we have enough to get by and make their kids happy.
As we drove into our new neighborhood, I couldn't stop but look at all the kids playing out on the lawn, all the teenage boys playing basketball on their driveway and how all the families were so happy. I wish I was a part of a happy family. I feel like I bring this family disappointment.
When I was about 16 years old, I came out to my parents telling them I liked both guys and girls. As a teenager you never know what you really like. I mean, I guess you don't know who you preference is until you're mature and grown up as an adult. All I know is that I'm confused about everything all the time.
"Well, kids, this is it. Our new home", my dad said with excitement.
We pulled onto the driveway and we all got out and just stared in awe. This house was beautiful. Nicer than the old house that we lived in back in Nashville. It was a 3 story house. It was built in 2010 and it seems to be one of the newer homes in the neighborhood. We had a two door garage and a double door front door.
"Well, what do you think", my dad asked.
"This is our house? Are you sure", I wasn't so sure. I never pictured myself living in a house like this. It's the kind of house you see in the movies. The popular guy lives there and his parents are stinking rich and spoil the hell out of the only child.
"Yes, this is our home. Now go check out the inside", he said to us.
Stevie and Stacy ran inside and ran up the stairs to find their room. The house was very big and spacious. The Foyer had a big staircase that had wood floors. To the left, there was the dining room and to the right, there was my dad's soon to be Study. The kitchen was straight down the hall and to the left and the living room was to the right. I followed my brother and sister up the stairs to find my bedroom. It was bigger than my old room. I had my own bathroom. This was good. I wouldn't have to deal with two screaming kids all the time.
As I looked around my new room I walked over to the window, the window had a view of the street and all the neighbors were coming out of their homes and walked over to our home to greet us and welcome us to the neighborhood.
I thought there for a moment and I felt a smile form on my face. Happiness & Acceptance; Maybe this was what I needed. Maybe my parents were right. This move was for the best.
It took a few days to settle into the home. I took ahold of painting my room navy blue, while my mom helped paint Stacy's room pink and I helped Stevie paint his a deep red color. The house was coming a long quite nice and it felt homey.
School was starting in about two weeks and my dad registered me for school and we all went school supply shopping. I didn't really need much, I mean it is high school; you just need some paper, pens, pencils, and all that stuff. I wasn't so sure how I was going to handle this new school thing quite yet. I knew eventually I'd fit in somewhere, but I didn't know how long that would take.
It was the night before I started school; I had just about finished unpacking and got my room to my liking, until I heard my mom knock on my door.
"Hey honey, can I talk to you for a second", she asked.
"Sure", I walked over to my bed and sat down.
She sat right down next to me, "I just wanted to let you know, that you're dad and I are insanely proud of you. You're handling this move in a way we didn't expect".
I smiled, "Well, I'm glad I could surprise you guys".
"Honey, your father and I just want you to know, that we love you very much. We don't care who you are, who you love, we love you for you and only you. You're our son and nothing is going to change that", she told me.
"I love you guys too, but sometimes I feel like a disappointment to you and dad", I said to her.
"Hey", she told me. "You could never be a disappointment to us. We love you no matter what".
I just smiled, and she gave me a kiss on the cheek. She said goodnight and left my room. I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. I went to close my blinds and I got distracted by looking at the window from the house next door to mine.
This boy, his face, his smile, something about him caught my attention. Brown Haired, brown eyes. Everything about him was absolutely beautiful. He was not like any of the other guys you'd see in Nashville. He had a dopey kind of dumb factor to his appearance but I found that cute.
He turned my way and I grabbed his attention.
I just stood there.
I didn't know what to do. I felt stupid.
He stood there and he sent me a smile and waved at me.
I smiled and waved back.
He closed his blinds and I closed mine.
I walked away from my window and turned off my light and crawled into bed. As I lay there. I just kept thinking about this guy who had no name. I wasn't so sure why I was so drawn to him but I was. I've had crushes on guys before, but this one was like no other.
I will always remember the time I saw his face. Those little moles, those dimples, those impeccable features; that make his face beautiful.
All I could do was dream about him, and smile. I hope tomorrow would be the start of something great. I can only hope right?
