My father's fingers gently support my head, keeping it straight and upright. The trimmers buzzing in my ear, sending chills down my spine. I always loved that feeling. I glance down with my eyes and watch as my brown hair falls into my lap, caught in the towel my father draped over me. The trimmer moves over my ears and I know he is almost finished.
"It's o.k. to be nervous, you know," he offers as try not to show how anxious I am, "you'll remember this day as one of the happiest days of your life." I can't see him, but I know he's smiling down at me.
"I know," I croak, "but Dad…the aptitude test-"
"Means nothing," he interrupted. The buzzing stops. My father comes around and lowers himself to my height and places his hands on my shoulders.
"Jonas," he looks me dead in the eye, "Today is about you and you alone. This is your day to pick your destiny." His voice begins to shake a little,
"Your mother and I will always love you, no matter what. Understand?" So he knew. I nodded, and awkwardly embraced him as he gave me a hug. Showing physical signs of affection like this wasn't common, for either of us. To do so meant absolute trust and love for one another.
"I'm almost done, just a few loose ends to trim up," he says as he pulls away. The buzzing starts again and I close my eyes, as the weight is lifted from my shoulders.
My fingers tremble as I button up my shirt. Grey, loose fitting, but comfortable. The same goes for my trousers and light coat. Abnegation aren't supposed to stand out. We're supposed to blend in and help others selflessly in the background, seeking no reward. As I'm finishing tying my shoes I hear my mother call,
"Jonas, are you ready?" I take a deep breath,
"I'm coming downstairs now," I call out. I stand up and take one last look around my Spartan room. Grey metal bookshelf that houses my school textbooks, I won't need those, I think as I turn to take in the rest of the room. Grey bed, simple grey metal desk, grey walls, a single lamp, and a single light fixture. I won't miss it. My heart drops a little as that realization sinks in. This is my home, and I won't miss it. I turn off the light for the last time and head down stairs.
My parents' smiling faces greet me as I descend the staircase. My father dons his coat and opens the door for us. I let my mother step outside first, then follow her. Together, as a family, we follow the crowd of other Abnegation families.
Everything in our section of the East Village is grey now. Occasionally you can find pictures of what the city used to look like. The Abnegation neighborhood used to full of color, but not anymore. A few blocks south is the Hub, and just to the east of that is an old sporting stadium. It sits silent and empty, except for the Dauntless members who sometimes run through it and the Factionless who chose to live there. Just two blocks east is the Erudite headquarters, located in an old library and a building that used to be a law school. In the heart of the city are the Candor headquarters located in the old courthouses. To the south east of the city, and just outside the Fence are the Amity farms.
"Do you want to walk along the Embarcadero instead?" my father asks me, a smile on his face. This eases my anxiety a bit, but I know the pain this will cause when I make my decision. But for the sake of my father being able to have one more happy memory, I say,
"May we?" he and my mother smile, and I do too, but inside I'm starting to shake. We come to Ash street, turn right and I can see the water. Turning onto Harbor drive, we head south. I always liked walking along the water. Behind us lays the remains of an old wooden ship, hundreds of years old, we call it the Star because that's all that's left of the painted name in white on the black hull. We keep walking south and a huge grey ship meets us. Dauntless guards patrol the fenced in enclosure with signs posted, warning passersby that it's unsafe to be in those areas. The buildings are crumbling and look like they're about to collapse at any moment. We keep walking along Harbor Drive as it curves to the left, taking us east. Across the street are parks where the younger children often play, there's an old museum with activities run by Abnegation to keep the younger ones who aren't old enough for school yet busy while their parents work.
Then we see the Hub, its white covering looking like sails in the wind, as if the whole building was about to sail off into the sunset. Around it are tall buildings with names that don't have any discernable meaning. My father once said they used to be called hotels. People would come here from other cities for business or vacation and spend a few days living in a small room there. I once asked him why they didn't stay with the Abnegation. He said this was before the Factions and the Fence and the Great War. Now much of Centre City lies in ruins with abandoned buildings covering most of the city. We rejoin the crowd of Abnegation as they ascend the many stairs to the top of the building. There are only three levels to the Hub, but it stretches out for a mile in length. Because of how nice the weather is outside, we head to the outdoor amphitheater for the Choosing Ceremony. Additional bleachers and chairs have been added to accommodate everyone who comes. Dauntless take up the far left, with Erudite to the right, followed by Amity. Those who are of age line up in the center aisle, splitting Abnegation into two sections. I find my place in alphabetical order, between an Erudite girl and an Amity boy. The Erudite girl glances back at me and rolls her eyes at me. The Amity boy offers a warm smile,
"Don't worry about her," he says and offers me his hand, "I'm Quin." I awkwardly take it, I've never been comfortable shaking hands,
"Jonas," I say.
"Nice to meet you Jonas. I think I've seen you before." This wasn't uncommon. Always seen, but never noticed. It was just part of the Abnegation way of life.
"Yeah," I say trying to sound a little uncertain, "I think we had Faction history, Grammar, and Math together."
"I know we've seen each other Stiff," the Erudite girl turns around, "We were all in those classes together." She sounds a bit annoyed.
"Emily, that's not really nice to call him that," Quin jumps to my defense. I had mixed feelings towards Amity, they were always willing to help someone out like Abnegation, but their constant happiness and niceness was a little off putting.
"It's fine," I mumble quietly, "please, don't worry about it Quin," I plead him, not wanting to make a scene. The Dauntless girl, Emily, smirks and turns back around. Pretty soon the ceremony will start.
A man in a black and white suit, Mark Peters, leader of the Candor faction, stands up and makes his way to the stage where a podium awaits him. In font are five bowls. Each with a different symbol, each containing a different material; grey stones for Abnegation, water for Erudite, dirt for Amity, lit coals for Dauntless, and glass for Candor. The crowd quiets down, expectant and waiting.
"My family, my friends; welcome," he offers a warm smile to the crowd with his hands outstretched in a show of peace and welcoming, "we are here to bear witness to the beginning of a new stage of our children's lives. But they are no longer children. Today they take their first steps to becoming full fledged adults in our society." He pauses as the crowd offers a small applause, the parents looking at their children with smiles of admiration and pride. Mark Peters continued,
"One of the core principles of Candor is to always seek the truth. Yesterday our children sought truth about themselves and who they truly are. Today, they choose the path that they know truly belong on. Remember, after your Initiation, if you are successful, you will be full fledged members of your chosen Faction. Do everything in your power to uphold their manifestos and be the best you absolutely can be. The factions were designed for that. And always, Faction before blood." With that, the entire crowd resounded,
"Faction before blood." Mark Peters nodded in approval,
"Then let us begin the Choosing Ceremony! Abigail Abrahms!" A small girl at the head of the line in orange and red clothes stepped forward and took a knife from a small table and walked up to the bowls on the stage. Without a moment's hesitation, she cut her hand and let the blood drop into the bowl of earth, choosing to remain in Amity. A small cheer erupts from the Amity section and Abigail smiles, applying a small bandage to her hand as she is welcomed and embraced by her faction. The names continue to be called, each person choosing to remain in their faction until,
"Douglass Godfrey!" a skinny boy in Erudite blue steps forward, visibly shaking. He takes a knife, uncertainly and looks at it, then the bowls before looking at the bowls. A hushed silence sweeps over the crowd, anticipation building to be a stifling pressure in the open air amphitheater. Douglass walks over to the bowls, and examines them. Slowly, he draws the blade across his hand and steps forward. The blood drops into the bowl of glass, adding its own pattern of stains. People from Candor cheer and welcome him, those in Erudite look onwards disdainfully over the rims of their glasses. The first Faction transfer. The name calling continues and I take a step forward each time, keeping one row distance behind Emily. Then it's her turn.
Emily takes the knife, confidently, strides over to Dauntless' bowl and adds her blood to the burning embers without hesitation. Dauntless cheers the loudest out of every faction.
"Jonas Sanders!" I feel like I've been punched in the gut. All eyes are on me and I can feel them. I step forward, trying to remain calm and hide how nervous I am. Ascending the steps to the stage I look back and see my parents, their beaming smiles, eyes shining bright. I am Abnegation, I should think of them and my own faction. But today is my day. Today I am selfish. I take the knife and stand before the bowls. I look down at the knife, not as ugly and brutal as the one in the simulation yesterday, but the cold steel in my hands brings back memories of the dog and it attacking my younger self. The pain stings and burns my hand. I close my eyes. The hiss and sizzle of my blood on the burning embers seals my fate. I look back to the crowd. Dauntless members cheer, my mother cries and my father holds her, but they are still smiling and nod their approval. I can't deny I love them, but not as much as they love me. I take a bandage and join my new faction. Black clad bodies swarm around me, patting me on the back, congratulating me, and shaking my hand. I'm not used to the physical contact but I smile and feel relaxed among the tattoos and pierced bodies of my new home. My new family.
Quin's name is called, and he too chooses Dauntless. He finds me in the crowd, the biggest grin on his face,
"Let's find Emily!" he practically yells over the cheering. I roll my eyes but agree. We find her a few rows back with the other new Initiates. Only three of us transferred to Dauntless so far.
"A Stiff?" one girls asks, shocked.
"I'm impressed," Emily looks me over with a raised eyebrow over her glasses.
"Well, if it were that easy I see why you don't belong in Erudite," I reply without thinking. A mistake, my parents will hear about this and I'll have to do extra service hours. No, not anymore. Sounds of,
"OOOOH!" and
"Got her!" come from my fellow initiates. Quin is stunned, eyes open, mouth agape.
"Guys!" he exclaims, "come on, we're all in the same faction now." Emily rolls her eyes at him, but smirks at me.
"You're right," she says taking her classes off and pulling her blonde and brunette hair from its bun, "I don't belong in Erudite." She tosses her glasses off the top of the pavilion to the empty street below, a fire in her eyes and a look of sheer determination and excitement on her face. I smile in return and together with Quin, we stand together and watch the rest of our former classmates choose their paths.
